Falling
by disarranging
Summary: It all starts with a girl who falls too easily, and a boy who falls for no one. When Lauren goes to live with her two cousins to try to turn over a new leaf, she might just find herself falling further than ever before. Joey/Lauren pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/n**

**Hello! I'm back with a new story as promised. I apologise for the long wait - I had a bit of writer's block and I've also had (and still have, to be honest) a shocking amount of work to do for my degree which had to come first and so I found it hard to find time to write. Bearing this in mind, I'm gonna state it here that this will not be a quickly-updated fic. I'm a slow writer at the best of times, as some of you will remember from before, but with several other things to write at the same time, please don't expect regular, daily updates (as much as I would love to be able to offer them to you). I'm aiming for one, or two at the very, very most, chapters a week. **

**So, I'm quite excited about this story and I'm really happy with how it's going so far. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it!**

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Chapter 1

I sighed, taking one last look around my bedroom before making my way downstairs. Today was the day I was finally getting away from this place. I hoped to high heaven that this was the right decision. I was pinning all of my hopes on the chance that by removing myself from Walford I could start again or at least resume from a point at which I didn't seem to be so messed up.

There had been so much drama and so much heartache recently, too much to get my head around, and I felt that the only way to work through it was to get a change of scenery. My life felt stagnant in these four walls; I felt I had no chance of moving on if I stayed here.

As far as most people around here were concerned, I was leaving in order to let Mum and Dad try and work on their relationship with one less person in the house to be worried about. It was common knowledge that they were still having trouble due to Mum's gruelling cancer recovery and Dad's continued inability to be faithful for longer than a few months. Because of these factors, nobody really questioned my motive.

However, there was another reason. On top of dealing with all the upset at home, I had also broken up with my boyfriend of six months, Jake. It hadn't been a long relationship by any stretch of the imagination, but I'd fallen for him pretty hard in that short space of time. At my lowest points I had confided in him and let him get under my skin, something I definitely didn't plan on letting any guy do again. He had helped me, distracted me, loved me, or so I thought. I certainly did not foresee him cheating on me with several different girls, one of which was my _ex_-best friend, Lucy.

But no matter. Like I say, it won't be happening again.

Safe to say, I didn't exactly take the break up well. I turned to booze more often than I should've done and chose to, rather than take the high, what-doesn't-kill-you-makes-you stronger, road, take the drown-my-sorrows-in-vodka road, often ditching my remaining friends for a few badly-chosen and deeply-regretted one night stands.

One particular night just a couple of weeks ago ended worse than any of the others. I've always convinced myself and others that, even though I haven't exactly been a stranger to alcohol, I know when to stop. This time, however, I crossed the line. I saw Jake in the R&R with another girl and just felt so upset that I allowed myself to get way too drunk. I ended up collapsing in the Square and having to go to A&E to have my stomach pumped. The only saving grace of the situation was that it was one of nights I actually hadn't gone home with some random bloke; instead staying with Whitney, who called the ambulance for me.

It was there, lying in that hospital bed, after having faced the wrath of hell from Mum and Dad and feeling fifty feet below rock bottom that I decided enough was enough. I wanted the old me back. The Lauren who would never, _ever _have let her feelings for some stupid_ boy_ destroy her. The Lauren who stood by Mum when she was keeping her cancer a secret. The Lauren who knew herself inside out and couldn't give a rat's arse if anyone didn't like what they saw.

So that's why I decided to get in touch with my cousin, Alice, and ask her if I could come and live with her for a while. I felt a bit guilty for only telling her a partial reason for wanting to stay with her, but I just didn't want her to judge me like everyone at home did. I got the impression she knew there was more to the story than just an urge to get away whilst Mum and Dad work things out, but I never dared contradict her.

I used to be close with Alice when we were younger, our similarity in age meaning we often ended up bundled together at family parties and whatnot. Her parents split when she was still quite young and she stayed with her dad whilst her older brother, Joey, who I have never actually met, stayed with their mum, apparently refusing to make any further contact with his father. Uncle Derek would often bring Alice to our house so that she had someone more her age to be with and we ended up being good friends. Over the years though we lost touch, especially after Derek's sudden death, and so I was apprehensive about intruding on her life now.

Despite my worries, she agreed, graciously, to let me move in, assuring me that it would be nice to have someone else there other than just her and her brother. After Uncle Derek's heart attack a few years ago Joey had moved in with Alice but she told me that it still feels lonely there sometimes because Joey's hardly ever in. I knew very little about the dynamics of their relationship but I assumed they still got on as well now as she used to say they did all those years ago.

In terms of my slight breakdown, we had thankfully managed to keep the details of that particular night mostly hidden from the nosey gossipmongers of Walford. They had their suspicions probably, and they certainly made their opinion my reckless behaviour perfectly clear, but I was thankful that they didn't know how bad it had gotten. This family already attracted a ridiculous amount of gossip, the last thing it needs is me making it worse.

Checking my phone to see the time, I heard Mum come up behind me.

"You don't have to do this, darlin'," She said for what must have been the hundredth time, taking my hand in hers. I knew she felt guilty because of how much pressure she had put on me to hide her illness and how badly I had taken her and Dad's arguing recently. She felt that she hadn't been there for me but I assured her that that was not true; we both had just gone through a rough patch. At the end of the day, it had been my decision to get so drunk I ended up in hospital, not hers.

"I want to, Mum. It'll be good for me." I smiled, trying to convey through my expression the optimism I felt inside at the prospect of starting anew.

She watched me for a prolonged moment before pulling me into a hug, squeezing me tightly. "Oh, darlin'." She pulled back, straightening out my jacket. "I'm gonna miss you, y'know."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Yeah, it'll be a right pain in the neck not having to drag me out of bed in the mornings, make me meals, worry about what trouble I'll get myself into today."

Mum gave me stern look, a small smile lifting her lips at the same time. "I'll always worry about you, Lauren."

I sighed, nodding gravely. "I know. But you don't have to. I'm okay now. I'm gonna be okay."

"You sure?" she replied, her hands on my shoulders.

"Yeah. Sure as I'll ever be, anyway." I let out a short laugh as the taxi beeped from outside. I gave Mum one last hug before gathering my bags together. "Well, that's my ride. Love you."

"Love you too, darlin'." Mum watched as I made my way to the car, a sad smile on her face. "Call me when you get there!"

I nodded in her direction, waving as the car pulled away. I felt a pang of sadness; I had known saying goodbye to Mum would be the hardest. I had already dealt with Dad, Abi and Oscar, but I had left Mum till last, knowing both of us would be the most upset. We didn't have the best of relationships at times but we'd been through a lot together lately.

Taking out my phone, I texted Alice to let her know I was on my way and took a deep breath, watching the world flash by in the late afternoon sun outside the window. Whether leaving was a good decision or not, only time would tell.

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After arriving at Alice's and getting myself settled in my room it was almost nine at night before we had a chance to sit down and talk properly. I was so far glad that things hadn't seemed awkward between us; the bonds of friendship we forged all those years ago apparently remaining intact.

I studied Alice's face as we both warmed our hands on our mugs of tea. We had both grown up a lot since we'd last seen each other, Alice a lot less dramatically than I had, of course. We were still polar opposites in personality, but we were a lot more similar in terms of dealing with the hardships of life, in terms of family problems anyway, than I had ever really considered before. Had circumstances been different, we probably could have helped each other a lot.

I leaned forwards slightly, placing my mug down on the table. Showing my emotions still wasn't my forte but I needed Alice to know how insanely I grateful I was, heart to heart.

"Listen, thanks for letting me stay here, Alice. It means a lot. Especially when I haven't exactly been in touch for a while." I trailed off slightly, not quite being able to meet her eyes. I felt a fresh wave of guilt wash over me how much she had gone through what with her dad's death and how I hadn't ever bothered to get in touch. "And I haven't even _met_ Joey."

Alice smiled, brushing off the comment about me not being in touch with her. I hoped that meant there were no hard feelings between us.

"Don't worry about it. It's a pleasure. Really." She added, seeing my expression. I felt my mood lift slightly, despite myself. Alice is one of those eternally sunny people who just have a way of saying the things that will undoubtedly brighten your day. "It's just a shame you missed Joey. He left for work about ten minutes before you got here. You'll have to meet him tomorrow." She took a sip of her tea before continuing. "Oh, and don't be offended if he's in a bad mood; he's always a grumpy sod in the morning."

"Duly noted," I said, laughing. It probably should have bothered me more that the most I knew about my other cousin, and now housemate, was that he was five years older than me and isn't a morning person, but whatever. If, whenever I did finally get to meet the elusive Joey Branning, it _was_ awkward, I would just have to cross that bridge when I come to it. "Although maybe I should take this opportunity to say that I'm not exactly an early bird either."

Alice mock-grimaced, rolling her eyes. "Oh, _fabulous_. Two of you. I think on that note, I'll get an early night, then. "

I chuckled at her lightly, smiling as I nodded and stood up in order to put my mug in the sink. "Same, actually. I'm shattered."

Despite the honesty behind my words, I was still tossing and turning hours later, unable to shut down my mind. The excitement of getting out of Walford had worn off considerably and I was now left with a consuming feeling of being stranded. What was I going to do now? I had told Mum, more to assuage her worries than anything, that I would look into going back to college, but I wasn't sure if that's what I really wanted to do.

I didn't know _what_ I wanted really, other than that I wanted a fresh start, of course. I was somewhat naively disappointed that, just because I had taken myself out of the place where the bad memories took place, didn't mean they had been taken out of me. I had never really expected them to go away, but I thought the change of scenery might force them to at least pale in comparison in my mind.

I flipped onto my back, huffing and flinging the clover back a little. I felt uneasy and hated to admit that, in the back of my mind, there was a small but persistent craving to drink something a lot stronger than the water on my bedside table gnawing at my insides.

It wasn't that I had become dependent on alcohol; more that I had become used to using it as a distraction. The craving wasn't a _need_, it was merely a want. A want of something better to do. It was all very juvenile delinquent really.

I thought back to the nights I would ring Jake when I felt like this, venting about my worries about Mum and Dad and how lost I felt. I shuddered at how pathetic the memory made me feel. Especially given the fact he was probably with some other girl at the time. I really don't know what I'd been thinking. I didn't need a guy to make things right.

But I _did_, I decided, need a hot chocolate.

Sitting up, I shuffled my feet into my slippers and cautiously made my way downstairs in the dark, not wanting to wake Alice up by fumbling around for the light switch.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs I swung round the end of the banister, and crashed straight into what felt like a very solid chest.

Letting out a muffled squeak, I felt two strong hands grip my waist to steady me.

My heart racing in my chest from the shock, my eyes travelled up over the toned arms still holding my waist, up over crisp, white, three-quarter length shirt sleeves, up over a ridiculously broad chest, a square jaw, full, far-too-kissable lips, defined cheek bones, and, _oh_, the most smouldering eyes I had ever come across.

And they were boring straight into mine.

Please, please, _please_ tell me that this is just a very well-dressed burglar and _not_ my cousin, Joey Branning.

**A/n**

**Thoughts on the first chapter? Liked it? Hated it? As always, I love to hear what you think - reviews are writing fuel. Thank you for reading and I'll see you soon. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

We seemed to be frozen in some strange, silent, sense-heightened moment. His dark eyes were still locked with mine, an unreadable expression on his face. I could feel the warmth radiating from his body so close to mine, the air crackling between us.

My heart was still beating furiously in my chest and I wondered why I felt the strangest need, not to pull away from this stranger, Adonis-like as he was, but instead to move closer to him.

He locked his jaw and slowly slid his hands from my waist, all the while still staring at me. I released a long breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding and finally managed to regain some consciousness, taking a sudden step back from him.

My hands going to my hips, I narrowed my eyes, partly as a reflex reaction to being taken by surprise, and partly as it seemed to be the only other expression my face would arrange itself into other than an unashamed gawp. I glared, or tried to at least, up at him.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I hissed, wary of not making too much noise in case of waking Alice up.

One of his hands went to the back of his head, ruffling up his short, brown hair, a look of mild disbelief on his face. "What the hell am I doing? What the hell are _you_ doing, eh?!"

I tried not to notice the way his impressive biceps showed through his shirt as he moved his arm. I wasn't very successful. And apparently he noticed, a frankly unholy smirk creeping up the corners of his lips, an unmistakable twinkle in his eyes.

_Who the hell does he think he is? _

_Well... that is the question really, ain't it?_

I shook myself out of my inner monologue, determined to keep my face straight from now on and willing myself to speak.

"_I _was going for a hot chocolate, if you must know," I sniffed, scrambling for some courage or some sanity or just...something.

He raised one eyebrow at me, the aforementioned smirk, a smirk that I swear will be the death of me, intensifying. I wondered unconsciously how many girls he had charmed with that look and felt a pang of something that surely could not have been jealousy resonate inside me.

He leaned one arm against the top of the banister as his eyes roved downwards just for a moment. If I didn't know better, I would swear he was checking me out.

I shuffled nervously, which in turn made me even more nervous; I didn't get nervous around guys, or around anyone, really. I really did not understand what was going on here. And why could I still feel this weird electricity between us? I concluded I would have to put it down to tiredness, or maybe cold.

It was at this moment that I realised very belatedly that all I had on was a very skimpy top and some _very_ short pyjama shorts.

_Nice one, Lauren. Perfect._

Bringing his eyes back up to mine, I was struck once again by the ever-smouldering look in them.

"In my house?" he questioned, his tone smooth.

_So he __is__ Joey. _

_Crap._

My eyes widened. Surely Alice had told him I would be moving in? I opened my mouth once, and then closed it. What on earth was I supposed to tell him?! I couldn't exactly just say oh, yeah, hi, I know we have never, ever met before, and I know we just shared a really intense moment and everything but I'm actually your cousin and I'll be living here under the same roof as you from now on which I'm sure won't be awkward _at all_.

I cleared my throat and rolled my shoulders slightly, finally finding my voice.

"Ugh, yeah? I live here now, don't I?" I rolled my eyes internally. I probably should have put that a lot more eloquently and maybe tried to sound a little less unsure of whether I was supposed to be living there or not.

He looked confused for a second before comprehension dawned thick and fast on his face, his arm dropping from the banister as he immediately took a step back from me.

His eyes blazed even in the darkness. "_You're_ Lauren? You're Max's daughter? You're my...cousin?"

I dropped his gaze, unable to hold it any longer, and wrung my hands together. "Yep. That would be me."

There was a prolonged moment of awkward silence; clearly he was having as much trouble getting his head around that fact as I was. It also concerned me that even though we had now established for definite who we each were, I still felt that baffling energy between us. I wondered vaguely if he felt it to; after all, he had partaken in the unexpected intensity of whatever just happened here.

Joey released a deep sigh, his hands coming up to rub his face tiredly as I fiddled with the hem of my top.

Eventually I chanced a look up at him and found him studying my face seriously, a small frown creasing his brow, his jaw tight. All the smouldering arrogance from only moments ago had vanished and yet, somehow, this only made him seem even more attractive.

His eyes met mine and held my gaze for a moment before he finally ended his perusal, clearing his throat. "Well...I don't really know how to react to this."

I released a breathless laugh, relieved that he wasn't repulsed by our odd little moment or angry that I was here in his house. I ran my fingers through my hair, uncertain of what to do next.

"Look, maybe we should just...start again?" He didn't respond straight away and I felt myself tensing up a little more. "I mean, I don't know about you but I feel like that wasn't a _great_ first impression to make. I don't normally make a habit of crashing into people I've never met before, in their house, in the middle of the night, wearing very little clothing and then, y'know, rambling like an idiot because I'm nervous and I don't know why. "

I hadn't planned on saying that last part but I figured one of us would have to mention the awkwardness at some point. May as well get it out of the way sooner rather than later.

He remained stoic for a beat longer before a slow smile spread over his face. A genuine smile this time, not just an egotistical, albeit ridiculously attractive, smirk. It transformed his whole face, his eyes lighting up and tiny dimples adorning his cheeks.

_Oh, the dimples._

"Okay," he agreed simply, teeth flashing in the dim light from the streetlamps outside filtering in through the pane of glass in the front door. "We'll start again."

I felt myself smiling back at him, the reaction contagious. "Okay. Well, I'm Lauren. I'm not a morning person, I have terrible taste in TV shows and I apparently make really bad first impressions. And, no offense, but if you don't let me get that hot chocolate I've wanted for a good while now, I will have to hurt you."

My eyes travelled to his biceps once more as I spoke, aware that there was pretty much little to no chance of that happening.

Joey sniggered at me, raising one eyebrow. "I see. Well, I'm Joey. I'm also not a morning person, I don't really watch that much TV and I think you make better first impressions than you realise." His tone was sincere as he spoke, his countenance a lot more open now.

Moving sideways, he motioned to the kitchen. "And, by all means, help yourself to a hot chocolate."

Once in the kitchen I worried internally over what to say to him next, not wanting to upset the balance now that we seemed to have conquered some ground. I really wanted staying here to work and I didn't want to let some awkward first meeting stand in the way of my chances. Before I had time to get too carried away however, he spoke first.

"I've never met another Branning before," he explained casually, dropping down into one of the chairs around the table. "Never really fancied it to tell you the truth." His conversational tone put me at ease a little more and I tried to force myself to follow his lead and just act normal.

I turned to face him, twirling a little as I did and grinning. "Oh, well, lucky for you, you've started with the best one."

A strange, somewhat serious look flitted across his face for a second before he composed himself, a crooked smile turning up his features. "Clearly."

I stalled at his answer, and that damn smile, not knowing how to interpret it and then shaking myself for already breaking my rule of not getting too carried away. So what if we had an awkward moment? So what if I think he's attractive? He _is_ attractive, it can't be denied. And I didn't _know_ he was my cousin when I first decided that. It was just a normal reaction to his attractiveness.

Convinced that the strange effect he seemed to have over me would wear off soon, I thought of something else to say, wishing there was an off-switch to my brain.

"So, why were you creeping around in the dark anyway?"I asked him as I waited for the kettle to boil.

"I wasn't creeping. I just got back in from work, didn't I?" He threw me a look that suggested that I should automatically have known this.

I raised an eyebrow and shrugged before turning back to the worktop to finish my making my drink.

"Yeah, I work in a club. I didn't get out till half three." He paused, watching me as I sat down opposite him.

"Er, where's mine?" He drummed his fingers on the table, an expectant look on his face.

I looked at him blankly, blowing on my drink. "What?"

He smirked at me and I swear it was doing things to me it really shouldn't.

_For the love of God, Lauren, get a grip! He is your COUSIN._

"My hot chocolate."

I pursed my lips and sat back in my chair, making a point of stirring my spoon in my mug extra loudly. "Oh, no, no, no. See now, I might be a guest in your house, and I am extremely grateful for that, by the way. But, and I don't know what kind of treatment you're used to from other girls, I do _not_ make people hot chocolates when they're perfectly capable of doing it for themselves. _Especially_ people I have known for all of ten minutes."

Joey raised an eyebrow at me, chuckling. "Fair enough." He paused for a moment as I continued to watch him in a determinedly expressionless manner. "In that case, then, getting back to the question in hand, why were _you_ creeping around? Other than for hot chocolate, that is. I mean, why were you even awake?"

_Oh._

I picked up my mug and took an extra long amount of time to sip my drink, apparently savouring the taste. It was obvious I was biding my time but he didn't make any kind of move towards pushing me for an answer, simply sitting and waiting, his gaze amicable.

"I couldn't sleep," I summarised, finally.

He nodded minutely, sitting forward and resting his forearms on the table. "Missing home already?"

My eye snapped up to his. "Oh no, it's not that. I've not been sleeping well there either."

"What then?" he continued. I dropped his gaze again, suddenly finding the table much more interesting. A small, residual wave the unease I had been feeling before crashed over me. Meeting Joey might have distracted me for a moment, but even a face with dimples as heartbreaking as those on his couldn't rid me of my issues.

And besides, if I hadn't even told _Alice_ about everything that had happened, I certainly wasn't about to tell Joey.

"It's..." I trailed off. "It's, ah, a long story."

He didn't say anything in response so I lifted my eyes back to his to find them once again watching me intently. Now that we were in proper light I noticed that his eyes were a captivating shade of hazel, dark and light at the same time. It was hard to look away now I had noticed. My stomach squirmed, and not altogether because of the uncomfortable nature of the topic of conversation.

Realising that neither of us were willing to push or pull any further in either direction, I decided to change the subject back to him.

"I thought you wanted a hot chocolate," I remarked, gesturing to the empty table in front of him.

"I did, but this girl with some sort of high moral compass when it comes to drink-making etiquette or something wouldn't make me one," he deadpanned, his expression serious except for a cheeky glint in his eye.

I snorted unattractively into my drink. "I wouldn't be so sure about the high moral compass part, if I were you."

He flashed a grin at me, moving one arm so that it was slung over the back of the chair next to his. "Y'know, I've had a lot of drinks bought for me, had a drink thrown _at_ me once, but I've never had one refused."

"Well, there's a first time for everything, eh?" I replied, picturing how much business a face and body like his would bring to a club. I didn't think I'd ever seen anyone pull off a simple, white shirt quite so well.

I downed the last dregs of my drink before placing the mug back on the table and reclaiming his gaze. "I've got to say though, I'd never have pegged Joey Branning for a sweet tooth."

He threw me an odd look, tensing up ever so slightly in his chair. "Why would you have pegged me for anything? You don't know me."

"True," I admitted. "Sorry, I didn't mean to just assume stuff."

He shrugged, his eyes gazing out of window rather than at me. I wondered as I watched him why that comment had bothered him so much.

"How come I don't know you?" I questioned suddenly. " I mean, how come we've never met before? Alice always used to be around when we were younger but I never really understood why you weren't."

"It's a long story," he replied after a moment's hesitation, smiling very slightly as he repeated my words from before.

I traced a finger over the handle of my mug, not knowing how to respond. Clearly we both had things we didn't want to talk about.

After another minute of not uncomfortable silence, each of us lost in thought, I started to shiver a little, the cold temperature finally catching up with me now that the effect of the hot chocolate had worn off.

Joey must have noticed this, pushing his chair back suddenly and standing. "C'mon, it's freezing in here. Maybe we should both try and get some sleep."

I nodded and followed him out of the kitchen and up the stairs. He came to a halt outside my bedroom door, turning to face me.

"Listen," he whispered, looking me straight in the eye. "I'm sorry about that weird moment before at the bottom of the stairs. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I just got a bit..." He trailed off, clearly still as confused about the situation as I was.

"Carried away?" I offered, smiling at him. "It's fine. Honestly. I think we're both guilty of that."

We watched each other silently for a second. Stood in fairly close proximity to him again I could feel that inexplicable current between us. I shivered minutely from the feeling it gave me.

"Sorry, I'll let you go now. Hope you manage to get some sleep." He paused, a look in his eye telling me he hadn't quite finished. "And... Just so you know, if you ever wanna tell me that long story, I'll listen, yeah?"

I nodded once, not knowing what else to say. He really wasn't what I had originally expected him to be.

"It might cost you one hot chocolate though," he added, winking at me.

I laughed silently, rolling my eyes and turning to open my bedroom door.

"Wait," he said suddenly.

"What?" I whispered, looking at him, confused.

Joey stepped forward, coming right up close to me, his broad, shirt-covered chest right in front of my face. Raising my eyes slowly, I looked up at him as my breathing picked up a notch, questioning him silently. A small, treacherous part of me enjoyed every second of him standing so close, excited, despite everything, by the possibilities of what could happen next.

Turning on the full, smouldering charm, he looked down at me intensely. I shuddered once more, and this time it _definitely _wasn't from the cold.

"It's just," he mumbled, the movement of his lips entrancing me. I stood in pure disbelief, my breath hitched, as he moved ever closer and, with the pad of his thumb, reached out and wiped it softly against the skin of my cheek, just grazing my top lip. "You had chocolate on your face."

I breathed out heavily, our eyes still locked. For a ridiculous second the thought of leaning up and closing the tiny distance between us in order to kiss him enetered my mind, but I managed to chase it away as fast as it had arrived.

As he brought his hand back down, his gaze turned hesitant, almost as if he himself wasn't sure why or what he had just done.

A second later and without another word, he turned and disappeared into his room, leaving me stood alone on the dark landing, the skin of my cheek still tingling from where he had touched it.

**A/n**

**So, that was their first meeting. Did you like it? I know I built it up at the end of the first chapter so I was worried about whether the actual meeting would live up to expectations. It took quite a long time to write as it was dificult to get it to turn out how I wanted it to, what with it being such an important moment. I'm quite happy with it though and hopefully you didn't find it disappointing either! **

**Thank you for the lovely reviews from the last chapter - they mean a lot to me. See you next time! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

In spite of our first meeting that night, things actually hadn't been all that awkward between me and Joey. Not that there had been a lot of opportunities for it to be awkward to be honest; Alice hadn't been exaggerating when she had told me that he was hardly ever in.

Plus, whenever we _did_ cross each other's paths from time to time, we both seemed to be making an effort to act more like "normal" cousins. He never mentioned the whole getting-carried-away thing, and so I made a point of not bringing it up either. I also tried to ignore the strange electricity that seemed to buzz between us, convincing myself that I was just imaging things.

Not that it was difficult to push the awkwardness to one side; he was actually a lot easier to get on with than I had first imagined. Sure, he was a bit arrogant sometimes, and damnit did he know how to be charming, but he appeared to know where to draw the line with it. And behind that initial big-headedness he was a lot deeper than I imagine people give him credit for.

I hadn't yet found out why he had reacted defensively to my harmless assumptions about him that first night, but I had gathered, after a couple of weeks here, that the topic of their dad was a sore spot between both him and Alice. It seemed plausible that it may have had something to do with that.

Generally speaking, Joey and Alice get on quite well. They argue about nothing as typical siblings do but, other than that, they have quite a good, easy relationship. It's clear to see that they care for each other greatly; even if Alice does get annoyed with how overprotective he is with her.

It had been easier than I'd ever dared image it would be to integrate into their little routine. Alice would be up and off to work at the nursery before either me or Joey had woken up. Joey would emerge from his room sometime around eleven, go to the gym or for a run and then be off to work late afternoon.

On the occasions when they were both out, I would try and think of a way to sort my life out, as it were. I liked the silence in the house; it helped me think without having Mum or Dad or Abi sticking their ore in. The downside was that it was hard sometimes to think the right things and not end up simply wallowing in self-pity, exactly the thing I didn't want to do.

A few times, like just now, I had tried to draw. However I couldn't seem to express on paper what was going on in my head. Mainly because I didn't know. I had simply reached a point in life where I felt like everyone else was way ahead of me. It was the age old case of expectation versus reality.

I wished I could talk to Lucy about it; I was sure she would have had something useful to say. But then I remembered she slept with my boyfriend and it hit me again how much I was going to have to man-up and clean this mess up myself.

So that's how I ended up deciding I needed some air and sitting mindlessly on the swings of the park just around the corner from Alice and Joey's house at five in the evening.

I had been sat there, staring off into space, for a good while when I suddenly felt a soft pressure against the back of my leather jacket as someone came and stood right behind me.

I swivelled round jumpily, my hands gripping the chains of the swing, completely caught off guard at being snapped out of my little world so unexpectedly.

"Oh, it's you," I choked out, my eyes wide as Joey smirked at me, leaning round me.

He moved to take a seat on the swing next to mine, his fingers dragging over my back as he did. I pretended such a simple gesture didn't make me shudder.

_You've really got to get over this._

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he apologised, sitting down on the swing. "I did say hi but you were miles away. You alright?"

I looked round at him, leaning my forehead against the chain. He had his gym stuff on; tracksuit bottoms, a white vest top and a grey zip-up hoodie. He looked good. He always looks especially muscle-y in his gym stuff. I mentally rolled my eyes.

_How is that getting over it? _

"Yeah, fine," I answered, trying to pull myself out of my own head.

"You seem it," he replied, still smirking although his eyes were concerned.

"I was just...thinking," I said, looking down and shuffling my foot against the gravel on the ground. "Shouldn't you be at work by now?"

"I don't always work Wednesdays. Only if she needs more staff," he explained. I could sense from the corner of my eye that he was still watching me.

"Well, glad as I am that you've finally ventured out into the outside world, I'm not sure that this is any different to what you'd be doing sat indoors," he said, his tone balancing on the line between serious and joking.

I glanced up at him, grimacing slightly. "I have been a bit pathetic, haven't I?

He shrugged, sniffing in the cold air. "You have a right to. Alice told me why you wanted to come here. About your Mum and Dad everything."

I nodded, looking out across the park again. "I don't know. I just feel a bit lost, I guess. Everyone else seems to know what they're doing, or at least what they _want_ to do. And I have no idea."

"You don't have to know what you want just because everyone else supposedly does," Joey offered from beside me.

"True." I paused for a moment or two, trying to find the right words. "It's just, what if it doesn't matter anyway?"

"How do you mean?" Joey questioned.

I turned, resting one foot on the edge of the seat and leaning my chin against my knee. Joey was still watching me, a frown creasing his forehead.

"Well, what if we're just gonna turn into our parents anyway? I mean, how do I know I'm not just gonna end up like my mum? Keeping her cancer a secret from everyone, being the queen of hypocrisy when it comes to bringing up her kids, taking her problems out on other people so that she doesn't have to face them herself."

I stopped, twisting my fingers through my hair agitatedly. "Or worse still, I could end up like my dad. Affairs every five minutes, fighting, drinking, lying, saying sorry, then doing it all over again. I'm just sick of it, Joey."

Joey continued to watch me intently for a while longer, his hazel eyes troubled.

"Have you always been this depressing?" he asked finally, a small smiling turning up the corners of his mouth. I noticed it didn't reach his eyes though.

I sniggered a little, shrugging. "You haven't even seen the pictures from the emo days yet."

He laughed. "Yet? Does that mean I get to see them then?"

I raised an eyebrow, laughing along with him despite myself. "Actually, forget I said anything."

After a moment we lapsed back into a comfortable silence, both of us apparently lost in thought once more.

It was only after another few minutes that Joey stood up beside me. Coming to stand right in front of me, he reached for my hands, a spark issuing through my fingers as they entwined with his. A spark to which, as I noticed, if he felt it, he didn't react.

I looked up at him, confused, our hands suspended in the air between us. I hadn't really realised just how cold my hands had been until they were engulfed in his much larger, much warmer ones.

"I promise you're not going to turn into your parents," he vowed unexpectedly.

"What?" I replied blankly.

"You're not gonna turn into them. You're gonna be yourself. I'm gonna make sure of it because..." He trailed off for a second, his jaw locked, his expression more grave than I'd ever seen it. "Because I know what it's like to be scared that you're gonna turn into your parents and I ain't gonna let that happen to me or to you, right?"

I held his scorching gaze for a moment longer before nodding slowly.

"Okay," I said, my voice smaller than I had intended. Despite being completely blown away by how seriously he had taken our discussion, a small part of my brain was still intrigued as to what issues he had _his_ parents, but I figured now wasn't the time to ask.

Giving my hands a squeeze, he smiled suddenly, pulling me up off the swing. "Right, well now we've established that, we should probably get back before that sister of mine starts panicking. Plus, I'm starving."

I rolled my eyes at him, "Typical."

I was a little whiplashed from his change-of-mood but glad we weren't lingering on the issue any longer for now; it was different from what I was used to.

As we covered the short distance to the house, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Taking it out I froze at the sight of Jake's name clearly flashing on the screen. He had taken to calling me every now and then just to "check in", as he put it.

For a moment I considered answering it, but some dignified, or else self-preserving, part of my brain told me that whatever he had to say wouldn't be worth listening to. Interestingly, it seemed to be the same part of brain that was replaying everything Joey had said to me moments before.

I huffed, rejecting the call, a scowl forming irrepressibly on my face.

"Who's Jake?" Joey asked, his tone harsh all of a sudden.

I hadn't realised he had been stood so close to me, his muscular frame towering over mine.

I sighed, stowing my phone back into my pocket and pursing my lips. "He's no one. Literally no one."

Joey gave me a disbelieving look but seemed to sense that the topic was off-limits for now at least, following me as I indicated that we should carry on walking.

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Once we had all eaten, Alice had gone upstairs for a bath, Joey had disappeared into the kitchen to clear up insisting he didn't want help and I had ended up lying on the sofa watching some reality TV programme about weddings.

It had been nice having Joey actually eat with me and Alice for a change; with him normally being it at work it felt almost like a special occasion. By the time we had finished I actually felt a lot more optimistic about things than I had in a while.

"Oh god, babe, what the hell is this you're watching?" Joey grumbled as he threw himself down onto the opposite end of the sofa to me.

"Now, now, Joseph," I tutted at him, shifting my position on the couch so that my feet were in his lap. "No need for that tone; you haven't even given it a chance. How do you know you won't fully enjoy watching these people judge each other's weddings?"

"It's so trashy, Lauren," he replied, grimacing.

"Trashy but amazing," I corrected, grinning. "And I did warn you about my bad taste in TV."

"Yeah but I didn't realise it was this serious," he quipped back.

I threw a cushion at him playfully before turning my eyes back to the TV.

"Are you really enjoying this?" he asked a couple of minutes later, raising his eyebrows as I looked round at him.

"I like seeing how normal people live. I'd like a normal life like theirs, y'know?" I looked up at him imploringly.

"They're having a Disney themed wedding. How is that normal?" Joey demanded incredulously.

"Well, yeah, that part's a bit out-there, but I mean, they're happy, aren't they? They're getting married for the right reasons; no one is having a secret affair, no one has any hidden ex-wives, and they probably won't go on to get divorced _twice _and still think it's a good idea to stay together. That's all my experience of marriage has ever looked like."

Joey looked like he didn't really know what to say to that at first, his hands coming to rest on my ankles. I was having a hard time suppressing the sensations this action created.

"I know it sounds weird but I just want a really boring, but nice, life. I don't want any more drama; I'm sick of that. No divorces or affairs or deaths. I just want it to be simple; I love someone, they love me. I mean, is that too much to ask?"

Joey dropped my gaze for a second before looking at me again, his gaze seeming more intense. "No. It's not too much to ask."

At his words, the atmosphere seemed to change. I could feel that incomprehensible current hum between us stronger than ever. I had the urge, yet again, to move closer to him and see if it would get stronger the closer I got.

Before I could let that thought go any further however, Alice suddenly walked into the room, collapsing into the armchair.

Joey's eyes snapped from mine, our odd little moment over. I rolled back onto my side, curling my legs and effectively breaking contact from Joey's hands. I couldn't think straight with him touching me, even if it was a completely innocent gesture.

Attempting to fix my attention back onto the TV proved pointless; every thought seemed to stray back to everything that had happened between me and Joey today.

_You're getting carried away again. I thought we'd established you're just imaging these feelings! Stop being delusional._

But the problem was, it was getting harder and harder to ignore the fact that he enticed the strangest of feelings within me. And if it wasn't for the fact that I couldn't be sure whether he felt them too, I could probably try and just believe that I _was_ delusional.

But until then, I didn't know what I was going to do.

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I must've ended up dropping off in front of the TV as the next thing I was aware of was a pair of strong arms lifting me effortlessly off the sofa.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled incoherently, lifting my head meekly and peeping through one eye to find Joey's face just above mine.

"Sshhh," he coaxed, pulling me closer against his chest. "Go back to sleep. I've got you."

I held his gaze for a second longer before letting my head drop back onto his shoulder, snuggling into the crook of his neck. Despite my sleep-addled brain, I still managed to appreciate how good he smelled and how I really shouldn't have enjoyed the feel of being in his arms as much I did.

"What happened to Mini and Mickey?" I garbled suddenly, remembering that I didn't see the end of the programme.

I felt his laugh rumble in his chest against my ear. "They got married and lived happily ever after, don't worry."

"That's nice," I yawned, impressed that he had even understood what I said, never mind what I _meant_.

"Yep," he agreed, lowering me onto my bed and pulling the covers over me gently. "Now go to sleep, you actual crazy person."

"Don't be so mean," I mumbled, my words slurring, burying my face further into my pillow.

"Night, Lauren," Joey chuckled. "Sleep tight."

I grumbled a response to him, curling into a tighter ball under the covers.

Just as I was drifting off I thought I felt the soft pressure of lips against my forehead.

But just like most things these days apparently, I just couldn't be sure.

**A/n**

**So, they've moved just a little bit closer still. D'you reckon Joey does feel the same way as Lauren yet? **

**Thank you so so so much for the response to the last chapter! Your comments made me smile like an idiot. Hope you enjoyed this one just as much- leave me a review and let me know what you think. See you next time. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Over the next few days, I couldn't seem to stop myself over-analysing every moment between me and Joey. The plan of trying to ignore this little...thing we had between us had gone well and truly out of the window.

Not that over-analysing made the situation any clearer. I was forever wondering whether, in place of trying to _ignore_ my feelings, whatever they were, that meant I was now encouraging them?

I didn't think I was; after all, I knew perfectly well that nothing could actually _happen_ because of them. At the end of the day, we were still cousins.

And by now, this fact should have been the be all and end all. I mean, fair enough, I had found him attractive when I first met him, who wouldn't? And fair enough, we do seem to have a strange connection between us, etcetera, etcetera.

But the word 'cousin', for some reason or other, still held no real sentiment for me when it came to Joey. I just couldn't seem to be able to _see_ him as a relative. I hadn't _known_ him as a relative. And I think the time had long since passed for me to try and deny that I didn't _want_ to know him as one, even if I wasn't going to act on it.

And perhaps it was just attraction was the reason it was difficult to class Joey as a relative. Having never seen him until a few weeks ago, this was a perfectly valid explanation in my book. Perhaps it _was_ still just the 'shiny-new-toy' effect, if you like, that still hadn't worn off. The effect of finding someone who, on top of being physically appealing, seems to _get you_, to get on with you despite the fact that you're at a low point in life; that's bound to leave a strong impression.

Or maybe it was simply just some kind of karma. Maybe, because I had sworn off boys completely after the whole Jake fiasco, God, or else someone with some sort of morbid sense of humour, had called my bluff and presented me with a boy I couldn't even _have_ in the first place, but had possibly never wanted more.

It didn't help that, despite me and Joey growing closer and getting to know each other better, I still found him extremely difficult to read. He was too reserved to make his emotions obvious, too used to hiding them behind all the charm and the ridiculous muscles.

It wasn't like I could just ask him either. Because of the complexity of our situation, I couldn't tell whether he was simply just being charming because he _is_ charming, or being charming because he felt the same things I did.

Part of me was scared of the answer anyway. Alice, and Joey, for that matter, had made no secret of the fact that he had a way with the ladies and a long list of ex-girlfriends to prove it. Why would he act any differently with me?

On top of that, whilst I didn't know where he stood in the matter, did any of it really matter anyway? If every look, every touch, accidental or on purpose, and every conversation only felt significant on my part, it didn't matter.

And maybe this was a good thing, because whilst I was unsure, I couldn't fall for him properly.

_Except you already have done._

Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I heard the front door go and Alice's voice call out a hello. I switched off the TV, realising I hadn't taken in a second of what I'd been watching for the last half an hour.

"Hey," Alice said, walking into the living room. "Good day?"

I sighed, shrugging one shoulder. "Not great. Had two phone calls from Mum saying she still thinks Dad's keeping secrets from her, I still don't know what I'm doing with my life and I spilt a whole mug of tea before, just to top matters off. How about you?"

Alice threw me a sympathetic glance. "Oh, y'know, same old, same old really. Has Joey left already?"

"No, he's upstairs still. He only got back from the gym about an hour ago."

_Yeah, and he looked literally edible when he did._

I coughed, trying to rein my thoughts back in.

"You and Joey seem to like each other," Alice remarked all of a sudden.

"What do you mean?" I asked abruptly, tensing where I sat, scared that she had somehow heard exactly what I had been thinking.

She raised her eyebrow at me a bit, one of the few expressions that made her resemble her brother. "Well, just that you seem to get on well, that's all. It's nice; normally he doesn't warm to people so easily."

I relaxed a little at Alice's tone; she didn't sound suspicious.

_Because there's nothing to be suspicious about!_

"Yeah, I guess we're two peas in a pod in that sense then." It was another of the reasons I think I was so affected by him; normally I don't really ever feel comfortable around people the way I do around Joey, especially people I hardly know. And yet with him, I would find myself talking to him about anything and everything, deep or purely insignificant.

_Didn't you think this about Jake, though?_

I stabbed at this thought angrily. It was true, I had told Jake things. But it had been a one-sided relationship. I could bet my right arm that he wouldn't be able to tell you anything I had said to him, and in terms of himself, he shared very little.

_Joey's not exactly an open book. You just said so yourself._

It was true that Joey still hadn't revealed why he had taken it upon himself to reassure me that everything would turn out okay in the end, but I felt he was getting closer to talking about it. He would reveal a little more about his rocky relationship with his father every time we spoke about the little deal he had made me.

"You look like you've made some progress at least," Alice said, her voice bringing me back into the present, gesturing to all the prospectuses and leaflets I had spread out on the coffee table.

I scoffed, pushing the nearest book away from me. "Don't be fooled; it seemed like a good idea at the time to bring all of this back with me but now I've got it here it seems to have lost all its potential."

"Well, maybe it's a sign that you don't want to go back to college. You always said you weren't sure," Alice mused, her tone kind.

"Maybe" I sighed, standing up and stretching.

"Shall I pop the kettle on?" I asked, making my way towards the kitchen.

"Sure," Alice nodded, reaching for the remote in order to turn the TV back on.

Because I hadn't been looking where I was going, I hadn't realised Joey was also in the hallway, both of us almost walking into each other again.

"Sorry!" I breathed, caught by surprise, as seemed to have become the habit with the two of us, my hand gripping his muscular forearm tightly as I steadied myself.

He was freshly showered, dressed in his work clothes. The look instantly sent my mind back to the gutter.

He twisted his arm, his fingers going round my wrist gently and holding it. He was watching me intensely again, his expression hard to place. Eyes blazing, a barely-there, curious sort of smile on his lips, tension between us.

_Surely he feels it too? He wouldn't act this way if he didn't._

The crazy, almost always unreasonable part of my brain that seemed to control my thoughts when I was around Joey actually had a point here. He could've just stepped back straight away, dropped my arm, laughed off the situation.

But instead, here we were again, locked in some sort of silent, emotional combat.

The urge to kiss him washed over me stronger than ever as, for a fraction of a second, he seemed to incline his head closer to mine, apparently lost in a moment.

"We've really got to stop doing this," he said finally. There was laughter behind his voice but I couldn't help but think there may have been a double entendre.

"It's got a bit out of hand hasn't it?" I was going for a humorous tone myself but instead it sounded more like I was confessing a dark secret.

He didn't answer straight away, simply remaining silent, his eyes burning into mine.

"That's what I'm worried about," he admitted quietly.

A second passed as his words sunk in before I cleared my throat, pulling away from him.

"Right, well..." I trailed off, awkward for the first time in weeks around him. I could feel his eyes on me but couldn't bring myself to look into them.

I turned and walked into the kitchen, chewing my lip as I mulled over what he had said. Did he mean he was worried because he knew what I was thinking? Did he mean it simply as a joke? Or is he worried because he feels the same way?

_DOESN'T. MATTER. ANYWAY. _

_COUSINS, REMEMBER?_

Except that's not what I was remembering. All I could remember was that desperate want to kiss him, momentary as it had been.

As I clicked the kettle on, my phone started ringing. Once again, it was Jake.

I rejected it immediately. I definitely wasn't in the mood for whatever he had to say.

"What's the deal with this guy? Why does he keep calling you?"

I jumped at Joey's voice, not realising he had followed me into the kitchen. I turned to find him standing at the doorway, watching me closely, arms crossed, one broad shoulder leant against the doorframe.

_Why? Why does he have to look so good all the time?_

"I told you, he's not important," I said shortly, unsure whether I was annoyed at what Joey had said, or not said, or at Jake for having had the cheek to call again.

"Bullshit," he replied, walking forwards and stopping in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders.

I looked up at him, confused, trying to breathe normally in such proximity to him.

"What it is then? Are you scared of him or something? Is he harassing you?" Joey's jaw was locked angrily as he spoke, his eyes dark.

It took me a second before I picked up on what he meant, my eyes going wide. "What? No! Of course not, Joey." I held his gaze imploringly, my hands going to his chest. I tried not to swoon at how solid it was.

"You can drop the caveman club. It's nothing like that. Thanks anyway though," I added, smiling a little.

Obviously seeing the honesty in my expression he relaxed, letting me go and standing back slightly, leaning on the back of one of the kitchen chairs.

"You'd tell me if it was though, right?" he asked, his expression serious.

I rolled my eyes, I couldn't help it. "Yes, Joey. If I ever need a big strong man to protect me I'll definitely come to you first." I winked at him, trying to lighten the mood. I felt like we'd been on a rollercoaster in the last two minutes.

When he still didn't look convinced I decided I would have to elaborate on my Jake-related issues. "He's my ex. We broke up. I didn't take the break up well."

"I take it that's the nutshell version?" Joey asked, his eyebrow raised but looking slightly more cheerful at least.

"Intuitive," I chuckled, the smile sliding quickly off my face, however, as I remembered how un-funny the whole thing had been. "I don't really want to talk about it right now, Joe."

Joey stepped towards me again, lifting my chin up with his index finger. I breathed in sharply; this definitely wasn't cousin-territory behaviour.

My eyes met his, expecting to find them smouldering as they normally were when we ended up in these dangerous, unorthodox situations, but, instead, they were remarkably sad. His whole countenance seemed pained, like he wanted to say something that he couldn't say.

It was a little shocking for someone normally so sure of themselves.

Before I could ask, however, he moved in even closer, causing my heart to beat furiously in my chest. The smell of his aftershave invaded my senses, the warmth of his body reflecting onto mine. I had no idea what he was doing and no idea how I would react to whatever he was going to do.

I stood, baffled, as he slowly reached up a hand and, with the gentlest of pressure, pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

I shuddered, feeling a blush bloom on my cheeks as his fingers trailed lightly down the side of my neck, his eyes still boring into mine with that intense, but sad, expression.

"You deserve better, Lauren," he mumbled, his fingers still burning a path across my skin.

My brain felt frozen. What did he mean? Better than Jake? I hadn't even told him the story yet, though.

It was so hard to concentrate when he was so close. All I would have to do would be to move just an inch closer on my tiptoes and my lips would finally be on his. Just an _inch_.

Just as I was about to force some words out of my mouth to stop myself from jumping on him, the sound of the kettle boiling snapped us out of whatever bubble we'd just been engulfed in.

His hand dropped back to his side, his expression neutralising with the blink of his eyes, as a whoosh of air left my lungs.

Joey checked his watch and stepped back suddenly, barely looking me in the eye now. "I need to get to work. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Without waiting for an answer, he abruptly left, the door slamming behind him.

For what felt like the billionth time, I was left standing alone, pulse racing, cheeks pink, emotions in overdrive.

Except this time there was one small difference; I definitely wasn't confused about one thing anymore.

_I was absolutely screwed when it came to falling for Joey Branning. _

**A/n**

**Do you think Joey was talking about Jake or someone a bit closer to home? Things are going to get very interesting from now on! ;)**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews - I love hearing what you think; makes it worth all the writing. To those of you who leave me Guest reviews, I can't reply to them individually, but just know that I read them and am grateful for them! :)**

**Hope you liked the chapter. See you next time! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

All night I couldn't get the memory of Joey's face and that strange look in his eyes out of my mind. I kept replaying how oddly he had reacted when he had left, how different the dynamic between us had become in a matter of seconds. The more I thought it through, the worse I started to feel.

I had this horrific, creeping feeling that we had already ruined the relationship we had, a genuine friendship that had become so important to me over the last few weeks. We had been so close, so comfortable around each other and now, suddenly, we were awkward and distant.

And all because I'd let my heart rule over my head _again._

I knew, as much as my heart was protesting it, that I couldn't let this go any further. It had already turned into the most ridiculous situation.

Lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, I reluctantly coached my mind into believing that I was going to have to try very hard to suppress my feelings until they stayed put on their own.

Starting from tomorrow morning, I would just act like normal and that pretend nothing had happened. I had obviously made him uncomfortable last night and I didn't that to happen again; I didn't want to push him away, or else, make him feel like he has to push himself away.

_You do realise that you're never going to be able to act like normal around him, don't you? You practically melt at his feet whenever he looks at you._

I shook myself out of my thoughts, rolling over and punching my pillow in utter frustration. It didn't matter, I mentally shouted to myself. It didn't matter, it _couldn't _matter, that I felt a connection to him like I've never experienced before or that it may or may not have seemed, just for a second, like he felt the same way as me because, at the end of the day, this could not ever work.

As I agonised over what I was going to have to do, or not do, I felt, for the first time in a while, that niggling craving to numb my mind with alcohol. It stopped my thoughts in their tracks to realise that I had barely even _thought _of alcohol over the last few weeks, nevermind considered drinking it.

_Don't open that door again. It won't help._

Huffing and thumping my pillow weakly one more time, I made a final attempt to shut down my mind, eventually succeeding and falling into an uneven sleep, dreading seeing Joey the next morning.

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I needn't have fretted too much over seeing him straight away, however, when, as it got into late Saturday afternoon, I still had seen neither head nor tail of him.

"Where's Joey?" I asked Alice finally, my curiosity getting the better of me. I needed to see him to see how he was going to react so that _I_ knew how to react. And also because, in all honesty, I missed him already.

Alice shrugged nonchalantly. "No idea. Probably stayed out, don't think he came home last night."

"Out where?" I tried to keep my tone conversational but I felt my voice go slightly higher.

_Please don't say what I think you're going to say._

"With some girl probably. I don't know; I tend to just let him do his thing. He'll turn up." Alice didn't even look up from her laptop as she spoke. I felt my face pale as dread and an irrational rejection coursed through my veins.

I dropped the toast I had made as a snack back onto my plate, completely losing my appetite. I felt myself getting upset and immediately tried to confine the emotion to a corner of my brain.

"Some girl? Classy," I spat defensively, unable to keep the hurt out of my tone.

_Not that you have any right to be hurt. You're his cousin. He was never yours. _

Alice threw me an odd, confused glance as she put her plate in the sink. "Well, I'm not saying I agree with his behaviour sometimes but, if it's not hurting anyone..." She trailed off, raising an eyebrow at me.

_It's hurting me._

_Yes, but that's because you're an idiot for falling for someone who you not only cannot ever have, but who would never have wanted you anyway._

Forcing myself to carry on a more normal conversation with Alice for a few minutes, I managed to contain the onslaught of emotions I could feel building up in me until I was alone again.

It wasn't so much the fact that Joey may or may not have stayed with some girl that was upsetting me the most; it was the long overdue proper, undeniable realisation of just how impossible a relationship between us would be.

As well as the realisation of just how much a _Branning _he was. Even though he had promised me we weren't going to end up making the same mistakes everyone else in this family makes.

_You can't judge him! Have you forgotten the one night stands you had?_

I hadn't forgotten them. But then I hadn't just led another person, intentionally or not, to believe that they might like them.

_You're acting like a twelve year old._ _This is exactly why you need to get over him._

It occurred to me that maybe that had been exactly what _he_ had been thinking. Maybe staying away after that odd, almost-kissing moment we shared was his way of saying that it had to stop there. That my suspicions that he had realised how I felt about him were correct and that he was making it clear that it wasn't ever going to happen.

I wished I had someone I could talk it over with. Even though I knew that even if I _did_ still have my best friend to talk to, I wouldn't be able to tell her the full story because, after all, he's my bloody cousin, ain't he?

Deciding to just try and carry on with my plan of being normal with him whenever he did return, I tried to concentrate my energy on drawing instead, all the while pretending I didn't want to open that bottle of wine I knew was in the living room cabinet and down it in one.

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It had gone nine by the time Joey finally returned to the house. Obviously he wasn't working tonight. By this time, my mood was, if possible, even worse than before. The drawing I had attempted ended up just turning into a portrait of Joey's face which just made me angry again, and the water I had with dinner only made me crave alcohol even more.

In truth, I was disgusted with myself. The plan had been to come here and focus on me. Instead I had ended up focusing on the exact thing I promised myself I wouldn't. It was always one step forward and three steps back with me.

And now I'd been hurt, again.

And worst of all, nothing had even _happened_.

_You seriously are the most pathetic person_.

I knew had absolutely no right whatsoever to be upset at Joey for having a one night stand, if that's what he did, of course. He was my cousin, not my boyfriend. We may have shared a couple of moments where it felt like, to me, anyway, something could have happened, but they were clearly nothing.

I heard him talk to Alice for a minute before he came into the kitchen, clearing his throat and mumbling a hello in my direction. He didn't seem his normal self; usually he was much friendlier than that.

_See? You've spoilt it._

When, after about a minute of being lost in my own self-loathing thoughts, I had still not responded to him, he came and stood beside me, leaning back against the kitchen worktop. He still had his work stuff on from yesterday. I felt a bit sick.

"Alright?" he asked. I could tell he was looking at me, trying to get my attention.

"Fine," I replied.

_Yeah, saying fine will definitely make him believe that you're fine._

"Where've you been?" I asked, trying to sound merely casually curious and not bitter and hurt.

"Been at Mum's, ain't I? Why? What's with the tone?" And although e bumped his shoulder against mine as he spoke it sounded like he was trying very hard not to get irritated with me.

I stalled. I hadn't expected that answer. It didn't bring me much relief though.

I cleared my throat, desperately trying to scramble together some sanity. "No, it's just...Alice said you'd have been with some girl."

"And so what if I had?" he snapped. Normally he'd probably just have joked about something like that, but his tone was different. We were both different around each other.

I looked up at him finally. He looked just like he had done last night; sad and confused, as well as angry, this time.

I didn't know how to respond to him. No answer I could think of made me sound any more sane or any less whiny and pathetic.

"Why are you upset?" he prompted, the atmosphere between us still all contorted.

I breathed out sharply through my nose. I couldn't exactly just tell him I'd stupidly gone and fallen for him. I couldn't tell him about that strange way he makes me feel. I couldn't tell him I was scared that it would only get worse even if I tried to stop it. I couldn't tell him that I didn't know whether I wanted to hit him, hug him, scream at him or just fling myself at him and kiss him like I'd secretly wanted to do since we first met.

"I just..." I rolled my shoulders, pursing my lips as I thought of something to say. I could still feel Joey's hard haze on me. "You shouldn't treat girls like that."

I heard Joey scoff, running his hands over his face distractedly. "Calm down, Lauren. It's no big deal."

"How is it not a big deal? You preach to the choir about everything turning out okay and not turning into the people you don't want to be and look at you!" I was glaring at him at this point, my breathing heavy.

"What?" he snapped, looking a bit hurt at my insinuation. He glared straight back at me, towering over me, closer than I'd realised. I felt a spark of attraction fly between us amongst the anger. "I didn't even sleep with anyone last night! Where the hell is this coming from? Are you jealous or something?!"

I balled my hands into fists, feeling myself getting more and more worked up; all of the pent up emotion from the last twenty-four hours catching up with me. I was being hypocritical with my words but I couldn't stop them. "I've seen what that does to people. It hurts people."

Joey locked his jaw, stepping even closer to me. "I'm not like your Dad, Lauren. I haven't married any of these girls."

I narrowed my eyes at him, feeling the sting of his tone and of the memories his words enticed. I didn't want to think of the things my Dad had done. I didn't want to think of _Joey _behaving how my Dad had. I didn't want to think of how I myself had behaved.

"Well that makes it okay then," I hissed, turning away from him sharply.

As I turned my arm knocked a glass off the side, little shards of glass shattering all over the floor, some of it going on me.

"Shit," I grumbled, leaning down and starting to collect together the largest parts. I heard Joey sigh from above me.

"Lauren, don't pick it up like that. You're gonna hurt yourself." Joey leaned down in front of me, reaching out and stilling one of my wrists. His voice was softer, calmer. The tense bubble we'd been in seemed to have shattered along with the glass.

I looked down at where we were touching, hating myself for still believing that I could feel something between us.

_He doesn't feel the same way. Get over yourself._

I tried to pull my arm back, avoiding his eyes. "I don't need your help!"

Proving myself wrong, however, I lost my balance as I tried to pull away from Joey again, slamming one of my hands down onto the glass-showered floor so as not to fall completely.

"Ouch!" I whimpered, lifting my hand and observing the damage as my skin stung where it had been cut with the glass.

I felt tears spring to my eyes, a lump forming in my throat. Not because I was being oversensitive towards the pain in my hand, but because, just for once, I had wanted to not lose face in a situation like this.

I had wanted to be able to keep my emotions in check and not put myself in these vulnerable positions. I was speaking in more general terms now obviously. This whole thing about Joey had gotten so out of hand and I just felt a bit emotionally drained.

Joey took my wrist once more, holding my hand towards his face so that he could inspect the damage. I looked at him, meeting his eyes apologetically. He held my gaze, once again looking as though he wanted to say something but changed his mind at the last second.

He pulled me into a standing position and led me over to the sink where he proceeded to gently clean up the cuts.

"You'll live," he announced quietly, a small smile turning up his lips. I tried to loosen the scowl I could feel on my face; if he was prepared to move on then I wanted to meet him half way.

I flinched as he ran my hand under the cold water of the tap, automatically straining against his grip.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he checked all the glass was gone. I could feel my skin tingling where he was touching me, and I knew deep down it wasn't from the cut.

I knew because it was travelling straight through me, going straight to my heart and anchoring there.

How could I pretend I didn't feel like this?

_You don't have a choice._

"You alright now?" Joey asked, breaking the silence and breaking me out of my thoughts. It was clear he didn't just mean after the incident with the glass.

I nodded, flexing my fingers slightly as he bound my hand in a bandage he had taken out of one of the kitchen drawers.

"Thanks, Joey," I whispered, frowning as I saw how sad he looked, a crease on his forehead, his dimples nowhere to be seen. "Sorry I got a bit...y'know..."

"Carried away?" he said, smiling ever so slightly as he repeated my words from that very first night.

_And there are the dimples. _

_Please don't faint._

I rolled my eyes, laughing slightly. "I would try to explain but I don't know if I can."

There was understanding in his eyes and we seemed to come to a mutual agreement that neither of us could explain it and that maybe we shouldn't try to.

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We ended up in the living room, sprawled out on the sofa, Joey at one end, me at the other. The atmosphere between us had calmed down considerably, but there were still obviously things that needed to be said; several elephants in the room that we couldn't ignore for much longer. And if there wasn't that connection between us, I probably wouldn't have bothered trying to rectify this situation.

But I wanted Joey in my life. Even if it wasn't to the extent that I would want him in a perfect world.

I had decided that, even though I couldn't explain my feelings, I _could_ explain to him why I had gotten upset about the one night stand thing. I owed him that, at least.

And so I finally told him all about what had happened with Jake and Lucy. All about Mum and Dad's problems. The alcohol. Why I was worried I was already turning into someone I didn't want to be.

And in turn, he told me about Derek. About how violent he had been. How manipulative he had been. How it killed him that Alice was still so blinded by him. And how terrified he was that he would end up just like him.

"Well, we're a right cheerful pair aren't we, eh?" I said, nudging his thigh with my foot after a comfortable silence had descended on us whilst we digested everything we had learnt about each other.

He smirked at me, his eyes kind. "Wouldn't have it any other way, babe."

"I'm sorry I'm such a fruitloop," I said, watching him tiredly, my head against the back of the sofa.

He reached across to me, grabbed me by the arm and pulled me towards him. His strong arms went around my waist, pulling me into his warm, solid chest. My stomach flipped at the unexpected contact.

"You're not a fruitloop. You _are_ the most horrendous drama queen though," he mumbled against the top of my head.

"Oi!" I thumped my fist against his bicep, snuggling into his embrace at the same time.

After a few minutes of just sitting immersed in our own thoughts, my head pillowed against his broad chest, I looked up at him.

He was already watching me, his eyes intense. It struck me again how handsome he was and I hated that I couldn't have him.

"Joey, you're not gonna be like him. You know that, right?" I assured him.

He nodded once, lowering his forehead onto mine softly. I closed my eyes, loving and hating the moment at the same time.

"You look tired," he remarked as he pulled back, his hand rubbing my back softly.

I snuggled into him again, getting comfy, deciding I could enjoy being close to him now and deal with the consequences after. "I've not been sleeping properly."

As I spoke, however, I felt my eyes droop and an inviting tiredness wash over me like I hadn't felt in years. Being in his arms was luring me into slumber that I both wanted and didn't want at the same time. I wanted to sleep, I wanted to have this moment with him. But another part of me, the sane part probably, told me to stop it before it wedged the knife in deeper tomorrow when everything would go back to normal again.

"What am I gonna do with you, eh?" he asked, pulling me closer and pressing a kiss to the crown of my head like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"I really don't know," I mumbled, already half-asleep.

And I really didn't.

_So much for trying to get over him._

**A/n**

**Okay, heavy chapter, I know. But it was necessary, I promise. I didn't want them to just fall in love with each other straight away because it won't be realistic. Lauren's not in a great place still and Joey is never going to take a risk and accept his feelings without breaking some barriers first. But don't worry, the next chapter more than makes up for all the angst in this one. ;)**

**Thank you so much, as always, for all the lovely reviews. You make my day with them, seriously.**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter. See you next time. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Following on from that night of revelations, mine and Joey's relationship improved somewhat. It was nice to finally understand why he seemed to close himself off so much sometimes. It was nice to have finally told someone outside of Walford, someone who was impartial to everything that had happened, about the drinking and the bad decisions and the drama that followed.

In terms of the inappropriately-falling-for-your-cousin issue, I really was trying to restrain myself, as it were. I had come to accept that I was never going to be able to see him as family, but maybe I could see him as just a friend. Maybe.

However, as sod's law would have it, we seemed to keep ending up in predicaments where it was extremely difficult to pretend I didn't feel anything for him that I shouldn't have done.

Not to say that this made things awkward between us again, because it didn't. We genuinely did get on too well for that. After that night where everything had boiled over between us, for me at least anyway, there hadn't really been any more awkwardness.

There was just that prevailing sense of something-could-happen-but-it-ain't-gonna-happen-so-don't-get-carried-away-again. And most of the time it was fine, except that every now and then the attraction I felt was between us would spark up stronger than ever.

Take the other day for example, I just happened to walk out of my bedroom just as Joey was walking out the bathroom, dressed in nothing but a towel tied loosely, and _indecently_ lowly, around his waist. Thank goodness I hadn't walked into him that time.

_You don't mean that though. You totally wish you'd walked smack bang into him and that you'd never parted from him since._

At least before that day I could pretend that, even though he _appeared_ to have the finest of physiques, it was all just some sort of lust-induced façade and that he actually had an incredibly scrawny, unattractive body.

But no.

He literally has the body of a god.

Smooth, pale skin with a smattering of tiny freckles on it still wet from the shower, a ripped torso like you would not believe, and _oh my goodness_ those arms.

I couldn't tell you how long I gawped at him for. It probably was only a handful of seconds to be honest, but the image of him is burned onto my brain forevermore. I honestly don't know I managed to tear my eyes away.

Not that looking up at his face was any better. Joey being Joey didn't take offense in the slightest to me blatantly ogling him; instead he was smirking at me, his eye twinkling.

_Such a big-headed so-and-so sometimes. _

"Alright, Lo?" he had asked me, ruffling up his still-wet hair with one hand.

_He's completely winding me up._

I cleared my throat, hoping that I wasn't blushing. If I played it cool, I told myself, I could just be a girl appreciating the fine body of her friend. Not a girl completely smitten with someone she can't have, who just happens to have an insanely fine body.

"Yeah, sorry. You just took me by surprise is all." I tried to keep hold of his gaze but my eyes wanted to admire his body some more. I had to squint to stop them. I probably looked like a right nutter.

"I thought you'd gone out already," I added, pleased that my tone at least suggested that I was in control even if my brain had melted into goo.

"Nope," he replied, popping the P as he did, still smirking.

"Oh, right," I said, my voice trailing off.

_Oh for goodness sake. _

Thankfully, Alice chose this moment to get back from work and shouted up a hello, effectively saving me from embarrassing myself any further.

"Right, I'll just be off then..." I mumbled, slinking passed him, the landing never having felt as narrow as it did then. Our bare arms brushed against each other's as I passed him and I felt a current of electricity spark up my arm.

I looked up at him by reflex. His hazel eyes met mine for a briefly intense moment. Self-preservational alarm bells in my head urged me to cut the moment short, however. I threw him a quick, casual smile and hurried away down the stairs, rolling my eyes as I went.

_Why couldn't I have just left my room five seconds earlier?_

It was so frustrating. How was I supposed to discourage my attraction to him when he continuously, and unintentionally, kept making it worse?

I was also frustrated with my ongoing indecisiveness over what to do with my life. Joey and Alice had managed to slowly persuade me to read up on some colleges specialising in art, and I actually started to like the sound of some of them. I even had some application forms ready to fill in. Every time I look at them, however, I feel nerves get the better of me, anticipatory cold feet forcing me to put the pen down and keep on doubting myself.

I was also still having trouble sleeping properly. And thinking properly. And just doing anything properly really.

Still, not once did I regret my choice to move here. I'd take several almost-sleepless nights here over one full night of sleep in Walford. Everything back home was always the same. At least here, I never quite knew what was coming next.

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I could hear someone saying my name. But, as always in unconsciousness, I just sort of ignored it at first.

"Lauren," the voice said again. I recognised the voice but couldn't place it. I wondered sluggishly if whoever's voice it was had just been in my dream until it had been rudely interrupted.

I felt something brush against my cheek lightly, slowly, and I twitched my face away, not wanting to wake up.

"Lauren." It took me a long moment to finally decide that it was Joey's voice. Joey had never tried to wake me up before; he sleeps more than I do.

_Maybe I'm still asleep then? Maybe this is still a dream?_

I huffed, rolling over and grumbling. I felt betrayed by my own mind; it was bad enough to torture me with near-constant thoughts about him in the daytime, but to carry on at a time when I'd actually managed to fall asleep was just incredibly out of order.

"Lauren." His voice sounded closer somehow.

_Maybe you're just going mad?_

_Probably._

"No," I grumbled to myself. "Shut up. Go away."

I heard laughter. I felt fingers flutter against the skin of the inside of my wrist again. My imagination was certainly being meticulous with this nonsense.

"I'll just carry you upstairs then," Joey's voice announced.

_What?!_

I flipped over quickly, my eyes opening and my hand grabbing one of his just as he reached over me.

"What the hell?" I demanded, staring at him, wide-eyed. Joey merely grinned at me, his face quite close to mine. He was crouched down on the floor next to me, definitely not a figure of my imagination.

It was then that I realised that I was on the sofa in the living room. I didn't understand why. The curtains were still open but it was dark outside other than for the light from the streetlamps. I couldn't see the clock because Joey was blocking the view, but it felt like it was late, or early, depending on how you look at it.

"Why am I down here? Why are you there? Why did you wake me up?" My voice was croaky. I sat up and leant against the arm of the sofa.

"You must've fallen asleep down here, babe. The TV was on when I got in," Joey explained, a smirk dancing at his lips. "And I wasn't _going_ to wake you up but you said my name. I thought you were awake at first so I answered but then you mumbled something else and as I got closer I saw you were asleep. So technically it's your own fault."

I frowned in confusion. I didn't remember saying his name. Perhaps I had been dreaming about him after all. A part of me was disappointed that I couldn't recollect it at all.

"Was I really talking in my sleep?" I asked him, a laugh behind my voice.

"Really," he chuckled. His fingers squeezed mine and it was only then that I realised was still gripping his hand in mine.

As I looked down at our hands, I noticed that his knuckles were bruised and grazed. I pulled his hand closer to me to inspect it further.

"What did you do to your hand?" I asked, looking back up at his face.

He shrugged nonchalantly, freeing his hand gently from my fingers and looking at it himself. "It's nothing. Honestly," he insisted as he saw my expression. "There was a fight in the club between two different stag parties, security were nowhere to be seen, so Sharon asked me to help sort it out."

"That doesn't seem fair," I mused, watching as he flexed his fingers as if to prove that he was fine.

"It's no big deal, Lo. It was just a case of punch or be punched, wasn't it?" A moment after the words had left his mouth he looked a smidgen troubled and I knew he must've been thinking of Derek.

I sat up properly, placing my hands on his broad shoulders, bringing his eyes back to mine. "It's not the same, Joey. It doesn't make you anything like him."

He cocked his head to the side slightly, his eyebrow raised a little. "How did you know?"

"You're getting easier to read, my friend," I teased, grinning at him and poking his chest lightly as I dropped my hands from his shoulders.

He looked at me strangely for a moment before standing up and reaching out a hand to me. "C'mon then Miss Drama Queen."

"Frankly, I don't really think you're in position to call me. You're just as bad!" I sniggered at his expression, allowing him to pull me up effortlessly.

I felt a thrill go through me at how close he had pulled me; his shirt-clad chest a mere millimetre in front of my face. The memory of what was underneath that shirt resurfaced from the box I had tried to lock it in. It made me a bit breathless and took another inch of my dignity away.

Managing to clear my head, I moved away slightly, looking up at him. "You sure you don't want that hand cleaning up?"

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "Seriously, babe. No." And with that he placed both his hands on my shoulders and practically frogmarched me out of the room and up the stairs.

"So bossy sometimes, y'know," I grumbled quietly, aware that Alice was probably still asleep.

"Sure." He nodded at me, completely not-bothered. "Now go to sleep like a normal person. And try not to talk about me, yeah?"

And with that he winked and walked into his room, closing the door quietly behind him.

_This boy will seriously be the death of me._

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A couple of week later was Alice's birthday, and through the powers of persuasion and guilt-tripping, both of which Alice appeared to excel in, I had been coerced into joining in her night out. On top of using the excuse of wanting me to celebrate _for_ her, she also wanted me to celebrate _with_, due to the fact that I had finally sent an application off to an art college.

I hadn't really felt up to it when she first asked me, not being my usual self and all. My main concern was, of course, that I would end up in the same situation I had last time I'd been to a club, a situation that Alice couldn't be blamed for still not quite knowing the full extent of. I really didn't want to mortify myself like that again.

Joey, having sensed my unease, however, managed to convince Alice to at least _start_ the night at the club where he works so that he could therefore supply me with virgin cocktails and no one would be any the wiser. It wasn't that I cared whether people saw me drink non-alcoholic drinks or not; it was more that I didn't want to invite the questions as to _why_. And as it was clear I wasn't a good liar, I didn't want Alice's birthday to be the day she finally found everything out.

The other plus-side of Joey's plan was that, if I decided I wasn't ready or couldn't handle it for long and wanted to go home, he could take me and, that way, I wouldn't spoil Alice's night.

"I might actually just give Alice the same as you, thinking about it," he pondered gravely as he slung on a jacket over his hoodie. "That way she'll _think_ she's having a good time but she can't get herself into any trouble."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You can't do that, Joey! It's her _birthday_. You've got to let her have fun." I held his gaze firmly, showing how seriously I meant it. I knew he was only looking out for her but there was a line and he was crossing it there. "Besides, Alice ain't like me, is she? She's sensible through and through."

Joey sighed and nodded reluctantly, picking up his keys and opening the front door. "I'll see you later, alright?"

"That wasn't a promise not to rain on Alice's parade, Joe!" I exclaimed, grabbing his arm before he could fully leave.

"I know. Because I'm not sure I can keep it!" he replied.

I gave him a withering look, a small smile on my lips. "Joey."

"Lauren," he said, mimicking my tone. "Listen, I've got to go; I'm already running late."

I released his arm and went to close the door, rolling my eyes. His hand stopped me though, pushing on the door a little so that I paused and looked back up at him. "What?"

"Don't worry about later, yeah? Just try and have fun." He reached up and tapped his index finger under my chin lightly, lifting my face as he did so. "Remember what I said? If you wanna go, don't suffer in silence, just come and get me."

It was hard not to trust him when he sounded so sincere and looked at me in that heartbreaking way with that heartbreaking face. But I was still apprehensive that tonight would be drama-free. I am the drama queen after all.

As I went off to get ready with Alice before her friends came round, I chewed over a plan of just going straight into the club and asking Joey to take me straight home. That way, I would have joined in but not put myself into the way of trouble.

_Plus, you would then get to spend the whole night completely alone with Joey._

_Ugh. Don't even tempt me, especially when temptation comes in the form of Joey Branning. _

**A/n**

**What do you think? Will she get a drama-free night? **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter and found it a little more light-hearted. I know the whole Joey-in-nothing-but-a-towel thing has been done before and was blatantly just a chance to drool over him but hey-ho, I regret nothing, and if you do, you're in the wrong story. ;) **

**Thank you for all the reviews. I love reading each and every one of them.**

**Wishing you all a very happy Easter. See you soon! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

In spite of my fears, once I'd got ready and had calmed down a bit, I was actually quite excited to get out of the house, be all dressed-up, try and just have fun. It helped greatly that Alice's good mood was infectious; it would have been very difficult to resist joining in even if they hadn't already worn me down.

I was already having more fun with Alice before we'd, well, she, had even drank anything than I think I had ever done whilst sober at home; a fact that didn't say much at all for my friendships in Walford. Most of the nights out there seemed to revolve more around the consummation of as much alcohol as possible than around the idea of _actually_ enjoying ourselves.

I was proud of myself that I didn't actually _want_ any alcohol for the moment. I'd been scared that the craving for it would come back but so far I was doing okay. I didn't need it. Although, by the time we were outside of the club, I had to admit that some Dutch courage wouldn't have gone amiss.

The thought of seeing Joey in this kind of environment made me nervous and I couldn't quite decide on the exact reason why. Walking into the club, I was torn between wanting to search him out immediately and wanting to avoid him for as long as possible.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was scared that other people might notice my attraction for him. And when I say other people, I mean Alice, mainly. At least at the house it was a pretty contained atmosphere, easy to control and everything. Here, it felt very different.

Then again, perhaps it wasn't so much other people noticing that bothered me. Maybe it was _Joey_ noticing. I was pretty certain he knew I found him attractive seeing as I was so _horrendous_ at pretending I didn't. And I hadn't forgotten, although I was trying to, that he hadn't appeared to find me too shabby myself that first time we met when we didn't know who each other were.

But I was certain it had become some sort of unspoken, little joke between us now, for him at least anyway. An issue we both danced around, pretending it wasn't there but really knowing all along it was. I definitely didn't think he knew the extent to which I had fallen for him. And I didn't need him to know either. And I was hoping to God that being out of my comfort zone like this wouldn't lead to that revelation coming out. Not when we'd made so much progress.

In the end though, maybe I just felt weird about seeing him here I simply didn't want to share him. Selfish and irrational and just plain _delusional _as that sounds, I think it was probably the most accurate. I would bet my right arm that he's the most popular bartender amongst the ladies in particular and I just didn't want to see that. I didn't want jealousy to spur on my feelings or take them down a route I didn't want them to go down.

Alice led us straight over to the bar as soon as we got in, coming to a stop at the far end where Joey was standing. He nodded his head at her as she shouted him to let her know he's be over in a second.

Whilst we waited, Alice's friends gushed over how attractive her elusive brother was. And even though I'd been thinking the exact same things they were saying in my head since pretty much the very second I met him, it made me a little green with jealousy to hear others voice their opinions. Especially others who could actually _do_ something about it.

I looked round at Joey, trying to block them out. Even though there were so many people around him at the bar, the vast majority of them female, I might add, he looked calm and composed.

He also looked delicious.

_And you just called Alice's friends!_

_Whatever. Everyone else has double standards! Why not me too?_

He had the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up to his elbows, the muscles of his forearms alone looking impressive, nevermind the ones just-hinted-at under his shirt.

I felt Alice move up next to me suddenly and grumble something, pulling my attention away from her brother. Looking round I noticed that the others had all gone.

"What?" I asked her, having to raise my voice slightly with it being so loud in the club.

"I said I've sent them to find a booth if they can. I can't listen to them melt over Joey anymore." She rolled her eyes at me, clearly looking for understanding. I merely nodded and played along, feeling such a fraud. "Honestly, you'd think he was a Greek God or something."

And there lay the main difference between me and Alice. Her vision of Joey was impaired by her relation to him. It wouldn't matter if he _was_ a Greek God; she still wouldn't have seen it. Alice just always saw Brother. Me, on the other hand, I didn't have that impairment. All I saw was Joey. Not Cousin.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," I offered somewhat pathetically, shrugging at her.

"You alright still?" Alice asked me, smiling at me kindly.

I nodded at her and thanked her quietly. Being back in a club wasn't actually as bad as I had anticipated. I mean, sure, I would always have the memory of last time, but I could compartmentalise it, push it to one side. It was the same, but also_ very_ different.

"I _told_ you you'd be fine," she continued, nudging my arm with hers. "Plus, you look great."

"Yeah, she does." I glanced up, shocked. Joey was stood right in front of us at the bar, smirking, as per usual, hands played shoulder-width apart on the bar-top.

Managing to unfreeze myself on the outside at least quickly enough for Alice not to have noticed the pause, I rolled my eyes, scoffing. "Yeah, right. How many girls have you said that to in the past ten minutes alone?"

His smirk dropped a miniscule amount before he recovered, holding my gaze intensely even though the rest of his body-language remained casual. "I mean it."

I felt a blush colour my cheeks. It would've been so much easier for me if he could just stop with these sorts of comments. It got my hopes up and made me fall further and further into this rabbit hole of a situation.

_It's never going to happen. You're just going to have to get used to this personality of his._

"Take it as a compliment; he doesn't normally bother saying _nice_ things about people," Alice said, before gaining his full attention and launching into her order.

I let Alice continue to take control of the ordering, instead retreating into my head to reflect on what she'd said. If he isn't normally nice to people. Why is he always nice to me?

_Because you get on well._

Getting on well didn't explain the attraction or the weird connection though.

_Oh, please can we not go down this road tonight? Not when there's no alcohol involved anyway. _

Alice's voice interrupted my stream of consciousness once again as she told me she was going to take the others their drinks.

I nodded at her and turned to watch Joey continue to work. I caught his eye as he made Alice's drink, remembering what he had said earlier on about not putting alcohol in hers either. I threw him an 'I'm watching you' sign, an only slightly mock-serious look on my face. He merely shook his head at me in response, a crooked smile adorning his face.

I looked down, tracing the outline of a coaster with my pinkie finger, trying not to recognise that he hadn't given anyone else that particular smile whilst he had been serving other people.

"What's up? You done with staring at me now?" Joey asked me, placing two fancy-looking drinks in front of me as I met his eyes.

"What d'you mean? I wasn't staring at you," I responded indignantly, kicking myself for getting caught out.

_Oh what it must be like to blessed with the powers of tactfulness. _

He laughed, placing an umbrella in the glasses. "You definitely were."

"You're definitely very full of yourself tonight, aren't you, Joseph?" I bit back, smiling myself now.

"Well, y'know. When you look as good as I do." I shook my head, laughing at his dead-serious face.

"Joey, stop flirting," a blonde woman chastised only slightly harshly from behind the bar. I assumed she was his boss.

Joey didn't even react to what she said. I got the impression she was either a push-over of a boss or was so used to telling him that he just didn't bother acknowledging it anymore. I was leaning towards the last one, as she certainly didn't_ look_ like a push-over, all power-suit and killer heels.

"I'm glad you're alright, Lo," he said quietly. He seemed to have leaned in closer to me without me noticing, his handsome face only inches from mine. "Still come and get me if you want to go, yeah?"

"Yeah," I said, a little breathless. I don't think I'd ever known anyone who could flick from joking to serious so quickly. "Thanks, Joey."

He nodded at me, handing me mine and Alice's drinks. "Don't let Alice get into trouble."

I rolled my eyes as I turned away, glancing at him over my shoulder and winking. "Sure thing, babes."

It's a shame I didn't have someone to come and tell _me_ when to stop flirting with people I shouldn't flirt with. Although whether I would listen is another matter.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

Several times that night I caught Joey staring at me. And each time he would realise I had noticed, he would just look away, carrying on as normal as if this was completely normal behaviour.

I didn't understand it. I didn't know whether to actually think this one through or distance myself from it completely before I got hurt.

It was so hard to be distant with my feelings without being distant in reality though. And I didn't want the latter, so the former was impossible. Such a dilemma to be pondering over in the middle of a club.

I was having fun though, even if it does sound like I was having a bit of an existential crisis almost. Despite being the only sober one, I still enjoyed watching Alice become more and more hyper and actually a lot more brazen than I would ever have pegged her for. Maybe she wasn't as unlike Joey as I had imagined.

When it was time to get the next round in, I told Alice I would go on my own; I knew that if Joey saw how drunk she was getting he would cut her off immediately, and she was having too much fun for that. I knew from experience exactly where the line was between happy-drunk and too-drunk and Alice was nowhere near it.

I realised as I was swallowed up by the crowd on my way to the bar that it was actually much easier to walk through a club when drunk than when sober. Or maybe it's just that I'd never been sober enough to notice what a struggle it is to actually walk normally in a club.

It seemed to have gotten a lot busier all of a sudden so I tried to manoeuvre around the outside of the main throng of people, cutting to the edge of the room.

I was almost at the bar when I felt someone grab my arm tightly.

"Lauren?" I froze on the spot, dread coursing through me.

_Of all the clubs in London, of course he's at this one. Of course._

"Let go, Jake," I insisted calmly, still avoiding looking at him, I didn't want to see his face. I knew that if I saw his face there was a good chance I would get upset.

I attempted to pull my arm free in order to just walk away but he was gripping it too tightly.

He pulled me towards him, turning me so that I was facing him. "What's wrong with you, eh? How long are you gonna keep trying to ignore me?"

My head snapped up in anger. The anger actually made it easier to look at him than I'd expected. "Trying? I haven't been_ trying _to ignore you. I_ have_ been ignoring you."I scoffed, turning my nose up at him. "Besides, I have nothing to say to you."

"You had plenty to say last time when you were screaming at me in the middle of the bleeding R&R," he replied, a whiny tone to his voice.

"Exactly. And now I have nothing." I tried to pull my arm out of his grasp again but he still wouldn't loosen up his hold on me. None of the people around us seemed to be paying us any attention. I felt a bit caged in.

I glanced around at the bar just ahead of us, stretching up on my tiptoes, and felt my stomach drop as, for the first time that night, I couldn't see Joey.

"Why don't we just sit down and talk, yeah?" Jake hedged, moving another inch closer to me.

"I don't want to talk to you," I snarled up him, putting emphasis on each word. I yanked my arm again and this time I succeeded in pulling it free. "Not about that night, not about Lucy, not about anything. I don't care if I embarrassed you, I don't care if I hurt your reputation, I don't even care if you're sorry. I just don't care!"

"Don't you think you should just move on from that whole Lucy thing and come back to Walford? I wasn't even serious about her. You and me can get back together." I was only slightly surprised to see from his expression that he genuinely thought that this proposition would appeal to me.

_What the hell did I ever see in this idiot?_

"Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that. I don't want Lucy's sloppy seconds." I replied, grimacing at the thought. "And just so you know, I _have_ moved on. Sorry if my not being in Walford anymore was a bit too subtle for you."

He moved closer still, glaring down at me now. "Yeah, it really looks like it. Clubbing by yourself? Bit desperate, isn't it?"

I tried to move away but there was no room to move anywhere; too many people surrounding us.

"I'm not by myself. I'm here with my...boyfriend." I tried to make it sound convincing but it sounded more like I was asking him for confirmation.

I knew that the only way I could get him to back off tonight would be to make him think I was here with a guy, not a group of girls.

He smirked down at me, his hands coming to rest on my side. I flinched at the contact but still couldn't move anywhere. I wished I had worn a less revealing dress than the skin-tight one I was wearing.

"Oh yeah? Where is he then?" he demanded, leaning so that his face was closer to mine. I tensed even more, leaning away from him.

Just as I tried to move back again I felt a pair of strong arms wind around my waist, pulling me back into a warm, solid chest. I relaxed into the embrace immediately, recognising the arms lying tight against my stomach and the voice speaking softly into my ear.

"You alright, Lo?" His lips were so close to my ear that I felt them brush against my skin, his breath hot on my neck. I shuddered, inclining my head in his direction automatically.

"Yeah, I am now, anyway," I breathed, relief spreading through me as I snuggled back into his arms. It was startling how safe he made me feel by just being here, his broad shoulders caged protectively over mine, his body almost flush against mine. In any other situation I probably would've fainted by now.

"Jake was just leaving," I said forcefully, looking up at Jake who had finally backed away from me considerably, obviously intimidated by Joey even though he hadn't actually done anything explicitly intimidating.

Jake threw me one last quick glance, a rebuffed expression on his face, before he disappeared swiftly into the crowd.

I released a deep breath and turned in Joey's arms, my arms going around his shoulders without me really even thinking about it. He watched me as I moved, a frown creasing his forehead, his arms not loosening their hold around me.

"Do you want me to throw him out?" Joey's voice was low; he sounded like he was only just containing his anger.

"Nah," I replied, chuckling a little. "I don't reckon he'll be here much longer after seeing you."

Joey didn't look convinced though, his jaw tight still. "What happened? Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head, running my fingers through the short hair at the back of his neck, trying to calm him down a little. "He was just whinging. He doesn't know how to take no for an answer so I told him I was here with my boyfriend." I paused for a second, realising exactly how much we did look like a real couple right now. And also realising how right it felt.

I looked up at him, my voice breathless. "And then you showed up."

We held each other's gaze for a long moment, it seemed like he had just realised the same thing.

I didn't care that this was another off-limits moment, I decided. It was Joey who had come to me like this, not the other way round.

He moved his hand slightly on my back, his fingers splaying over the span of it. We seemed to be in another of our strange bubbles where the outside world ceased to exist.

His lips were just above mine.

_Just kiss him for God's sake._

I moved my head towards his an inch, testing to see his reaction. He didn't move back. His eyes were troubled though, like he couldn't decide what to do. How could a moment feel so right and so wrong all at the same time?

I leaned up, using his shoulders for leverage and placed my forehead against his softly.

"What are we doing?" I whispered.

He pulled me against him tightly, his head moving against mine gently.

"I have no idea," he replied, sounding equally as caught-up.

I dropped down, lowering my arms and grasping his hands in mine. He reached out and very gently tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his finger tracing down my neck slowly. I tried to remember how to breathe.

We had crossed a line here; I could feel it. And this time, he had definitely instigated it. And now I needed to know where he stood. Because I couldn't go on like this. I couldn't hide these emotions any more.

"Can you take me home please? I think I've had enough." Joey nodded in response.

"You sure you're alright?" he asked, obviously referring back to what had happened with Jake.

"I'm sure," I assured him, throwing him a small smile just to prove it.

He nodded and pulled me by the hand through the crowd until we found Alice, explaining to her that we were leaving.

"You sure you'll be alright? I'll come with you if you want," Alice said whilst Joey went off to get his stuff and find someone to cover for him.

"No, it's fine, Al'. Just make sure you don't lose everyone, yeah?" I replied, giving her a hug.

I felt tired all of a sudden and was glad to be leaving. After seeing Jake, I really didn't want to be here anymore. I looked round on auto-pilot, making sure I couldn't see him.

When Joey finally returned I smiled gratefully at him. Our moment broken, we both seemed calmer now but I knew that when we were alone the dynamic between us would be tested again.

_It was going to be a case of fight, flight or fall._

**A/n**

**Well? Was it what you expected? Do you think they will _finally_ stop beating around the bush now and just kiss? :P**

**Thank you for all the reviews, I appreciate them so much. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. See you next time. **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I shivered, moving closer into Joey's side as we made our way out of the club towards the staff car park, the cold night air reawakening my senses after being in that boiling, claustrophobic club for so long.

"Did you not bring a coat?" Joey asked, slinging his arm over my shoulders casually and pulling me closer to him. I did not understand how he could be so warm in just a shirt and a thin jacket when it was freezing outside.

I rolled my eyes at his protective tone, smiling to myself. "Nope. I figured I'd just steal yours," I teased, nudging his foot with mine by way of hinting.

Joey held his grey hoodie out to me, smirking. I pulled it round my shoulders gratefully, bringing the fabric close around me and enjoying that it smelled like him.

Joey stopped and watched me for a second, a little of the intensity from before returning to his expression. I cleared my throat nervously and dropped his gaze. It felt like we were building up to something that I was torn between wanting so much and wanting to avoid forevermore for fear of it spoiling everything.

The sleeves of his hoodie were miles too long for me so I rolled them up a bit. As I did, Joey grabbed my wrist suddenly, holding my arm closer to his body.

"What the hell?" he growled, moving the sleeve further up my right arm. I squinted in the dull light of the streetlamps, looking closer and noticing for the first time that a red mark was now visible on my wrist where Jake had grabbed me.

"I'll kill him," Joey snarled, his eyes dark as he pieced two and two together.

"Joey it's fine. It's just a mark; I can't even feel it." I was lying a little bit; it was a little bit tender to the touch as I poked at it uncertainly, but it was nothing serious. I pulled my arm out of his hands gently and rolled the sleeve back down.

"I thought you said he didn't hurt you," Joey said, his tone a little distrustful and still laced with anger.

I sighed and took his hands im mine, loosening up his fingers from the fists he had formed and entwining them with mine.

"I didn't even realise there was a mark, Joe," I explained softly, holding his gaze. "Plus, I knew if I told you he had grabbed me you would get upset and he really isn't worth it."

Joey regarded me for a moment, frowning again. I looked up at him imploringly, shivering despite now wearing his hoodie over my dress as the wind picked up around us. He let go of one of my hands and brought his to my face, running a finger down my cheek softly.

I moved my head into his hand, feeling a tingling sensation where his skin met mine. There was no point pretending I didn't feel anything anymore.

Joey then pulled me into his body, his arms going tight around me for the second time that night. I wound mine around his waist, burrowing my head against his warm chest. His rubbed his hands up and down my back, warming me further, leaning his head down towards mine.

"If he ever hurts you again, you tell me, alright?" he said lowly, his lips almost against the side of my forehead. "Same goes for anyone."

I nodded against him, unable to stop snuggling into his body; I didn't know if we would be on such good terms soon so I wanted to make the most of him still letting me be close to him.

"I promise," I vowed, before smiling against his chest. "But don't worry. I ain't some wilting flower, y'know. If he'd really hurt me I would've kicked him where the sun don't shine in these heels and _then_ come and got you."

I brought my head up and grinned at him. I wanted to keep some of my independence but I couldn't deny that I liked that he wanted to look after me, that he wanted to protect me.

He chuckled, the vibrations echoing through his chest against my cheek. "That's my girl."

I felt my heart beat faster in my chest at his words, freezing in his arms.

_Ugh. Why does he do this to me?!_

I couldn't tell _at all_ what he was thinking. I couldn't really tell what_ I_ was even thinking. Everything he had done and said tonight had thrown me a curveball. Trying to block everything out didn't seem plausible anymore.

I was just worried that, when push came to shove, Joey would deny his actions and, in turn, deny his feelings. Because he definitely felt _something_ between us, I couldn't convince myself otherwise after tonight. Whether I could convince _him _of that what another question entirely.

I cleared my throat again, feeling uncertain. I needed to tell him; I couldn't keep it bottled up much longer. I wasn't the sort of person who could just _not_ say things. Unlike the rest of my family, I wasn't good at avoidance. The middle of a club car park didn't feel like the right place to have_ that_ conversation though.

"C'mon," Joey mumbled, breaking me out of my reverie and wrapping his arm back around my shoulders.

As he led me over to his car I pondered how, as much of a drama queen I was, risking my relationship with Joey, risking my _heart_, felt like a long way to fall if it all fell apart.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

"I'm proud of you for getting through tonight, y'know," Joey announced as we got out of the car.

"Me too a little bit," I replied, laughing slightly as I shut my door behind me.

The atmosphere between us had calmed a little on the way back; our natural friendship winning over the awkwardness. The only change in behaviour had been that every now and then I would catch Joey shoot glances at me, appearing to take extra notice that I was still snuggled into his hoodie.

Apparently, like all good cavemen, he liked marking his territory by having me wear his clothes.

_You're not exactly his territory, are you?_

_And besides, you practically forced him into giving you his hoodie._

It was true that nothing had been said in words yet, but I was taking his actions as louder than words, and his actions suggested that he was in the same boat as me.

That frown was still marking his forehead though, and I was worried that even though we seemed to have moved a step forward, we might now move another three back.

I fumbled with my keys when we reached the front door, struggling to see the lock in the darkness.

"Why don't you just let me open the door, eh?" Joey asked from behind me, sounding vaguely amused. "At this rate we'll be here till next week."

I huffed and elbowed him sharply with my left arm whilst still continuing to attempt to open the door. I had always thought it had just been the alcohol that had made doors a nightmare for me after a night out, but apparently I was just generally unskilled in the key-department.

"I can do it thank you very much, Joseph!" I announced, to no avail.

"Have you even got the right key?" Joey asked, definitely amused now. I could practically _see _his smirk through the back of my head.

"Of course I've got the right key! You're not helping!" I complained, frustrated with myself.

"As if you can make opening a door so dramatic, babe," Joey said, laughing behind me just as I felt the lock finally click and the latch open.

"Oi!" I had started laughing myself now. "I've done it now, Mr Impatient."

Once we were inside I turned sharply in order to give him an 'I told you so' look, however I hadn't realised just how close behind me he was, the plan escaping me, along with all oxygen, as I took in our proximity.

There was a prolonged moment where we both seemed frozen on the spot, Joey looking down at me intensely. I felt completely overwhelmed by him in that moment; still smothered in his hoodie, his body so close to mine I could feel heat radiating from him.

I could feel myself breathing heavily, the need from earlier on to just kiss him returning stronger than ever. The more he stared at me, the more his eyes seemed to smoulder, the more I wanted to just screw fate and pull him to me.

Maybe it was just the darkness, maybe it was just the similar time and place, but he was watching me with the same intensity as he had done on that very first occasion we had met, when I had felt that indescribable attraction to the stranger I had crashed into at the bottom of the stairs.

The only difference this time was that I _knew_ him now. I knew his personality, his voice, his smell. I knew that he was stubborn but kind, blunt but caring, brash but so warm-hearted. I knew that he had a sweet-tooth; I knew that he likes to pretend to hate bad TV but loves it really; I knew that he would do anything for the people he loves.

I knew that I had fallen for him so hard I was absolutely petrified about what was going to happen next.

For an infinitesimal second I saw his eyes dart to my lips and, almost without thinking, I reached out the miniscule distance between us and grabbed the lapels of his jacket, brining him towards me. There was a brief moment where we paused, our eyes meeting, questioning each other.

I was done with questioning.

Finally, throwing complete caution to the wind, I closed the gap between us, my lips at long last meeting his. For a second he didn't react and I felt my heart splutter frantically in my chest.

Almost before I could acknowledge the pause though, he moved his lips slowly against mine, a noise escaping his throat that was somewhere between a sigh and a growl.

I moved one of my hands to the back of his head, my fingers scraping through his short hair as his lips started to move more desperately against mine. It was as if we had waited so long to do this that now we couldn't slow down.

His hands went to my waist suddenly, pushing me backwards until my back was against the door, his body flush against mine.

I moaned as his tongue slid against my top lip, the sensation making me shudder and squirm against him. He groaned in response, one of his hands coming up and holding my face, tilting it back slightly as his tongue entered my mouth.

I scraped my fingers across the short hair at the back of his neck, earning another guttural moan from him. My other hand was still grasping his jacket, keeping him as close to me as possible as we battled for dominance of the kiss.

I could feel my knees turn weak as his lips moved expertly against mine, convinced that had he not been pressing me into the front door I wouldn't have still been standing.

Despite having been cold only moments ago, I couldn't feel the cold anymore; I couldn't feel anything except for Joey. His lips, his hands, his strong body against my softer one.

Actually kissing him was better than I had ever imagined it to be, as corny as that sounds. For all the sexiness and the muscles and the gut-wrenchingly handsome face you would think the actual experience would end up being disappointing. But it so wasn't. And I never wanted it to end.

I let go of his jacket, winding my arm around his shoulders, pushing my body against his. He gripped my waist tighter before sliding his hand to my back and pulling me closer to him, our kiss turning deeper still.

I couldn't remember ever feeling so affected by a kiss before. I felt like I was being consumed by it, by the easiness of it, by the intensity of it. I met every movement of Joey's equally, trying to soak up how _right_ it felt.

Joey brought both his hands back up to my face, cupping my cheeks gently and pulling his lips from mine, both of us gasping for breath a little. My lips felt swollen and I could still taste him on my tongue.

Joey sighed and lowered his forehead onto mine gently, his hands still against my face. I moved to rest my hands against his broad chest.

"We shouldn't have done that, Lo," Joey whispered suddenly, his voice gravelly.

I opened my eyes, pulling back a little, attraction being replaced by fear.

"What?" I asked, holding his gaze determinedly.

He closed his eyes for a moment, locking his jaw, his fingers moving against my cheeks affectionately. He looked so torn when he met my eyes again that I almost wanted to apologise.

_Almost. _

"We can't..." He trailed off for a second, watching me imploringly. He brought his face close to mine again, our noses brushing together lightly. "I want to, believe me. But we can't, we _shouldn't_, do this."

I released a long breath, trying to look at the big picture of what he had said. He wanted to. He _did_ feel the same as me. So it was just convention standing in the way. But surely he knew I wasn't one to care about convention?

I slid my hands from his chest, pulling his hands from my face and holding them in my own.

"So this is gonna be us then is it?" I demanded quietly, giving him a doubtful look. "Forever pretending we don't feel something for each other? Is that what you want?"

Joey shook his head minutely, stroking my cheek with the knuckle of his index finger, still holding my hand.

"Of course not, Lo." He swallowed, biding a bit of time whilst he thought of what to say. "But you said it yourself. You wanted an uncomplicated relationship, an uncomplicated life. You wanted no drama. Normal. That's not what I can offer you, Lauren."

I cast my mind back to the specific conversation he was referring to and could see why he was so bothered by this. But the situation had changed since then. I had never felt this way about anyone; so much so that I was willing to compromise on the complicated front if it meant I could be with him.

"I don't care about that anymore," I told him, trying to infuse as much honesty as I could into my tone.

He looked like he expected that answer. "Then I'll care about it for you. We're _cousins_, Lauren. People aren't gonna accept this."

"I don't care about _people,_" I insisted, cutting him off.

Joey squeezed my hands, watching me with sad eyes. "But you will, babe. And you deserve better."

"But I want _you_. I want _you_, Joey," I said, staring him down whilst feeling my heart thumping in my chest at actually saying the words out loud.

Joey's eyes were burning as he let go of my hands, reaching out and, in a movement that seemed to have become a signature move for Joey and me, he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"I don't want to be one of the things you're running away from." His tone sounded final and I felt my stomach drop.

I couldn't deny, and he knew it, that if it all went wrong, that's exactly what would happen. But it felt like we'd gone too far to go back now. I'd fallen too far to be able to just walk away. And now that I knew he felt the same way, it was just going to hurt all the more to try to.

Because if Joey wasn't prepared to take a risk on us, he was exactly right; he would just become another of the things I'd be running away from.

_But how could he expect me to run when I'd already fallen?_

I breathed out heavily, frustrated that we hadn't moved anywhere, upset that even after admitting his feelings for me, even after that kiss, he wasn't prepared to fall how I had fallen.

Pulling back from him, I turned on the spot and ran up the stairs. Ashamed, disappointed and stung, and hating that I was still feeling the effects of that mind-blowing kiss. Most of all though, I was just sad. Sad that we'd made each other sad.

I ran into my room and, without really thinking about it, I stormed over to my wardrobe and yanked my suitcase down with a loud bang.

"What are you doing, Lauren?" Joey asked from the doorway, sounding as upset and frustrated with the situation as me. I didn't bother looking round to answer him. I was scared that if I looked at him I'd start crying and that was the last thing I wanted.

"Leaving."

**A/n**

**Oh dear! Please don't hate me for the dramatic doof doof - I promise this had to happen! The question is, will she leave? More importantly, will Joey let her? **

**On the bright side, they finally kissed! I hope I did it justice for you all - it was a bit nerve-wracking to write.**

**Thank you so much for the amazing response to the last chapter; I don't think I've ever received so many reviews for a chapter before! I tried to reply to all of them but if I missed any, thank you! And thank you for the Guest reviews too; I can't reply to them but I do read them and love them. :)**

**Hope you liked the chapter. See you next time.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"What?" Joey asked, sounding completely baffled.

I rolled my eyes, kicking my heels off angrily before pulling one of my drawers open and scooping out half the contents at once. "You heard me."

I felt rather than saw Joey walk further into the room. He didn't reply for ages and the longer he was silent, the angrier I was becoming, my movements growing more and more rash, along with my thoughts.

_Don't lose your temper. Just get through this. Act now and think later._

"See?" Joey sighed eventually. I was quite surprised at how close he had actually moved to me; too caught up in my own thoughts. From the corner of my eye I could see him stood, arms crossed, beside me at the end of my bed.

I didn't want to look at his face still. If I looked at his face I would remember the kiss. If I remembered this kiss I would want to kiss him again. If I wanted to kiss him again I'd remember that I'd stupidly let this go way too far with him. If I remembered that I'd spoiled my second chance...I didn't know what would happen.

"See what?" I bit back nastily.

"See what we've done to each other already?" He paused for a moment, rubbing his hand over his face exasperatedly. "This is why I don't do relationships. I don't want this, Lauren."

I felt the breath whoosh out of my lungs, my shoulders sagging. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry.

"Yeah, I get it Joey. You don't want me." My voice didn't sound like mine; it was timid and defeated. I hated it. It was exactly the voice of the person I didn't want to be.

As I was stood there, eyes still closed, Joey reached out and ran his thumb gently down over my cheek. The action tugged at my heart-strings even more. I didn't know how much more of his mixed-signalling I could stomach.

"I do want you, Lauren. I do...I just..." I didn't let him finish his sentence, throwing the clothes I was holding down onto the bed and turning to finally glare at him.

"Ugh!" I screeched, the tears bubbling over my eyelids. "How dare you! How dare you do this to me?!"

I breathed heavily for a second, wiping at the stray tears angrily and noticing as I did so that I was still wearing his hoodie from before. I clumsily pulled it from my shoulders and threw it into a heap onto the bed before speaking again.

"I came here to get myself back on track. I came here _promising_ myself that I would stay away from guys, stay away from any situation where I could fall for someone because it always ends badly." I stopped, sniggering at the irony and choking a little on the words. "And then you show up!"

Joey all the while was just staring at me, not backing down from my glare and taking every word I was throwing it him with surprising stoicism. If it weren't for his locked jaw and the emotion swirling in his dark eyes I'd have thought I hadn't been affecting him at all.

"_You_ turn up. And I can't have you, because we're family or whatever, so it's fine at first. Whatever." My voice was getting louder and louder and a tiny part of my conscious thanked heaven that Alice wasn't here to witness any of this.

"And I _tried_ to just ignore it all, Joey. All the things you make me feel without even knowing you're doing it. But I can't, Joey! I can't ignore it! I don't know how to!" I gasped for breath, smudging more tears across my face impatiently.

"At least before I could think it was just me; just me being stupid and thinking that you _actually_ liked me." I rolled my eyes, laughing hysterically. "And I'd try and make myself see you as my cousin. But then you'd do things and say things and it would feel more real, and more _right_, than anything has ever felt."

I stepped closer to him, putting as much venom into my glare as possible. "And then tonight, you send me all these mixed signals; you stare at me, you keep smiling at me with that smile that you only give to certain people because you like to pretend that you're an arsehole sometimes but you're really not, and then you save me having to deal with something I don't want to deal with, and then..."

I pushed a finger against his chest, barely pausing for breath. "Then you go and kiss me like I've wanted you to since the _second_ I met you and it's the _best_ fucking kiss I've ever had and _then_ you push me away and try and say that it doesn't matter that we want to be together, and I can't even argue with you because you're right and-"

Before I could finish my sentence, Joey crushed his lips to mine with quite some force, his hands gripping my face tightly. I let out a surprised squeak, my lips responding uncertainly to his kiss.

_Isn't this exactly what we're not supposed to be doing?_

_Who cares?_

I wrapped my arms around his neck slowly, my fingers pulling through his short hair. Apparently anger, tiredness, and being kissed by Joey was not a combination of things that equalled reason or rationality.

Despite still being completely breathless from my ranting at him, I tried to meet each movement of his with as much vigour as him. Interestingly, kissing him like this, battling against him almost, was actually a better way of getting rid of my anger than shouting at him.

Well, it probably wouldn't be better in the long run, but apparently that had never stopped me before.

One of his hands slid from my face, going to my back and holding me closer to him, his fingers pressing deliciously into the ridges of my spine. I bunched up the back of his shirt in my right hand, trying to get closer to him still, my other hand at his jaw.

I mewled softly as he sucked my top lip into his mouth dominantly, the sensation going straight to the pit of my stomach. His hand went to the back of my head, tilting it backwards slightly, his lips never ceasing to battle with mine.

I had thought the kiss before had been good, but apparently that was only the tip of the iceberg.

I could taste my tears on his lips from my lips and I remembered that I was supposed to be angry with him and was supposed to be leaving and all that jazz. And I knew I should stop the kiss, but I couldn't get my brain to work properly.

I couldn't seem to get my lungs to work either.

My lips left his reluctantly as I pulled in a desperate gulp of air. His hands coming back up to my face, Joey pressed a kiss to the corner of my lips sweetly, pulling back slightly as our eyes met.

"I _do_ want you, Lauren," Joey whispered, sincerity achingly clear in his tone. "You have no idea how much I want you."

I breathed sharply, clasping my hands around the back of his neck. "Then why can't we be together? Can you honestly tell me after that kiss that  
you don't think we should be together?"

Joey brushed his thumb against my lip before answering. "I don't wanna hurt you, babe."

"You're hurting me by pushing me away, Joey. By denying this." I pushed my fingers through his hair, earning a low groan from him as I dug my fingers into the muscles at the back of his neck.

Joey looked at me as he had done before, not saying anything for a long while, eyes all torn and upset. I shook my head, rolling my eyes.

"Why did you kiss me again if nothing's changed?" I asked him frankly. He tucked my hair behind my ear again, a small, resigned smile on his face.

"Because you're beautiful and crazy and I can't resist you, can I?" His eyes were smouldering a little now even though they were still serious. "And because I'm not letting you leave."

My heart was thumping in my chest at his words. Surely he didn't think I could stay and just go back to pretending though? _Surely. _

"I can't stay and not be with you, Joey. Not now." My voice cracked a bit but it didn't make me feel weak this time; I had said what I wanted to say and fought my corner. It was up to him now.

"And you think I want you to?" Joey threw me an incredulous look. "You think it's easy for me to just pretend, do you? Jesus, Lauren, I've wanted you since you ran down those stairs into me. I couldn't stop thinking about you, even though I _knew_ I shouldn't be. I could've thought about any girl, could've got with any girl, I see plenty of them every night, but my mind kept going back to you."

Joey rubbed his hands over his face distractedly, resignation in his gaze now. "I just tried not to let it mean anything though. But then tonight, I don't know, something changed, didn't it? You looked a thousand times better than any girl I've ever seen in that club, in anywhere, and I just wanted to drag you straight back out and bring you back here because I didn't want to share you with anyone else. I had to accept that you _did_ mean more to me, that whatever this is between us, it's special. I didn't know how to react to it; I've never _cared_ that much before."

He then grabbed my wrist gently, his fingers barely fluttering over the mark on it that had now turned even darker. "And then I saw you with _him_." He growled a little, obviously still angry he hadn't known Jake had hurt me. "And I just acted without thinking. I wanted you to be with me, not him."

I swallowed, letting my brain digest everything he had said. His hands left my arm after a minute, one of his fingers tapping my chin gently.

"Why are you smiling?" He sounded a bit taken-aback but not offended.

I met his gaze, my hands resting on his chest. "Because all this time I've been wondering if you actually felt the same way as me, and you do. And this proves my point, Joey. Everything you just said. It doesn't matter if I go or stay, because it was never just gonna go away, Joey. Those feelings, they ain't just gonna disappear. It was never just gonna end there, was it?"

Joey's gaze was intense; he knew I was right and I was glad he wasn't going to bother trying to deny that anymore. He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss to my lips, his forehead resting on mine as his hands came to rest on my waist.

"Babe, are you sure this is what you want?" It seemed like he was scared of the answer whether it was yes or no.

"I've not been so sure about anything for a very long time," I replied confidently. I traced my finger along the sharp line of his jaw slowly before looking back up at him. "Did you mean what you said about this being special?"

He nodded, his eyes hazel eyes burning with emotions he pretends to world that he doesn't have. "Did you?"

"Yeah," I breathed, almost scared to be relieved that we'd reached this point.

"So what happens now?" he asked, his long fingers brushing against my side.

"Well..." I stalled for a second, trying to decide, despite my tiredness, what would be the best thing to say. "I wanna be with you, you wanna be with me. Can we just...see what happens? Cross bridges when we come to them?" I moved my head slightly and pressed another kiss to his lips.

I felt Joey breathe out deeply, nodding his head against mine.

"You're not leaving," he said, finality in his voice clearly just in case I was still thinking of running, his thumbs pressing against my stomach.

"No, I'm not," I agreed, smiling a little as I pulled back from him. "Y'know, I probably wouldn't have left. Not right away anyway. I just get a bit carried away in the moment sometimes."

He chuckled, the sound comforting after the heavy moment we'd just shared. "I had visions of me dragging you back into the house."

"Hmm, I quite like the sound of that. I feel like I've missed an opportunity there," I teased, grinning now.

We smiled at each for a moment, reflecting that we hadn't ruined everything after all. I slid my arms around his shoulders again, nestling against his warm chest.

"I'm tired," I announced, stifling a yawn and snuggling into his embrace. "And I'm still angry with you a little bit."

"I know." He ran his fingers through my hair rhythmically as he spoke, his other arm around my waist.

"And you're not having your hoodie back, by the way." He laughed at this, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

I leaned against him heavily, savouring the moment of finally being close to him properly. We still had so much to work though in terms of past and current issues, but at least we knew where we stood now.

My head ached to recall everything that had happened in the last few hours. From surviving going to a club again and succeeding in not drinking anything despite seeing Jake, to taking huge leaps forwards with Joey, then even bigger ones backwards, before arriving at some sort of impasse where neither of us was sure what was going to happen next.

He pressed yet another kiss to the side of my forehead. I wondered if _every_ time he did this my heart would keep fluttering in my chest.

_Probably._

"Are you falling asleep on me, babe?" he asked. The fact that he was still stroking my hair wasn't helping the sleepiness situation.

"Maybe," I slurred. It was a testament to how tired I was that I had managed to slur a one-syllable word not under the influence of alcohol.

"What's it got to do with you?" I asked him, not bothering to open my eyes.

_Not bothering, not being able to. Same thing._

He laughed, scooping me up into his strong arms suddenly. He walked around the end of my bed before dropping me onto the top of it, my head hitting the pillow softly.

"Do you want to get changed into your pyjamas, babe?" Joey asked me, leaning over my head, arms braced against the pillows either side of me.

"Are trying to undress me, Joseph Branning?" I asked, finally forcing my eyes open and raising an eyebrow at him.

He smirked, and, for a second, the sight of those evil dimples almost forced me to tell him that it would be completely fine with me if he wanted to.

"Not tonight," he replied, eyes twinkling with the same cockiness they had at the club, before leaning down and giving me a lingering kiss.

"You're very confident that I even want you to undress me," I mumbled against his lips as we pulled apart.

"It's one of the few things I am confident about actually," he replied, still teasing but with an undercurrent of fear in his tone.

He kissed me again before I could respond, starting to pull away. I wrapped my arms around his neck, not allowing him to pull away completely.

"Can't you stay in here?" I asked him, trying to keep my eyes from closing and failing miserably.

Before he could answer, however, the sound of the front door opening and something being knocked over interrupted our moment. Alice was obviously back.

"Get some sleep, Lo. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" He kissed me once more and pulled the covers over me.

I nodded reluctantly, knowing there would've been no point arguing even if I hadn't been half-unconscious. I snuggled under the covers, feeling Joey's lips brush against my forehead one last time before leaving the room.

At least tonight I could sleep knowing that even though we'd fallen, we'd somehow landed, for now, on our feet.

**A/n**

**You didn't really think I'd let Joey let her leave did you? ;) Are you happy they've finally talked it out?**

**Thank you SO much for the response to the last chapter - I really appreciate it. I'm completely blown over by the fact that a story I genuinely almost didn't post because I struggled planning it so much has become so popular! I tried to reply to all of the reviews but if I missed you, thank you!**

**Hope you liked the chapter! See you next time.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

When I woke the next morning I had a job deciding whether everything that had happened between me and Joey had all just been a dream. A very real-feeling one, but a dream all the same.

I could tell I still had my dress on but I started to wonder anyway if I maybe I hadn't actually made it _out_ of the house; thinking I probably bottled it and just fell asleep instead. It didn't seem so ridiculous that I could've changed my mind about wanting to go out and then dreamt that Joey had kissed me.

_Oh, the kiss._

Surely I couldn't have dreamt up a kiss _that _good?

And surely, if it _had_ all been in my head, I wouldn't have imagined the part where he pulled away and told me we couldn't be together. I mean, why would my subconscious have bothered with that?

Plus, if my subconscious had been in charge, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have been wearing any clothes.

_Don't even go down that road right now._

I rolled over, kicking the covers off me as I did. I opened my eyes in confusion as I heard something fall off my bed as the covers moved.

I sat up and rubbed at my eyes, looking over the edge of my bed at the mass of clothes scattered over the floor. It wasn't until I noticed my suitcase lying on the floor that I remembered what had happened.

_Moving out of Walford didn't make you any less dramatic then?_

Amongst the top layer of the pile of clothes closest to me I spotted Joey's hoodie. Scooping it up off the floor I couldn't stop myself from cuddling it close to me.

I felt a strange mix of relief and apprehension flutter through me. Relief that last night had indeed happened; that we_ had_ kissed, that he _had_ said he felt the same way, that we _had _agreed to see what happens. Apprehension that everything we _had_ agreed may not be agreed anymore, that Joey might've panicked again and changed his mind.

I sighed, knowing that the only way to find out was going to be just doing exactly what we had said: see what happens.

After tidying up my room, getting a shower and just generally trying to not let myself over-think the worst case scenarios, I made my way downstairs wearing Joey's hoodie over my pyjamas, only to find Alice slumped over a mug of coffee on the kitchen table.

"Well good morning, sunshine," I teased, laughing as she grumbled in response. It was a pleasant change not to be the one who was hung-over, and I was definitely going to make the most of it. "Had a good night then?"

"I don't think I'm cut out for this kind of thing," Alice mumbled as I poured myself some coffee, still laughing.

"Is that _Joey's_?" Alice demanded, suddenly sounding much more awake and interested, her emphasis on Joey's name laced with shock. I spun round to face her, realising her eyes were on what I was wearing.

_Oh. Crap_.

Wearing his hoodie suddenly didn't seem like such a clever idea after all.

"Err, yeah," I replied, attempting a casual tone and, for once, actually succeeding.

Alice stared at me blankly for a second before placing her mug back down on the kitchen table, her eyebrow raised. "Why?"

I almost smiled at her incredulous tone. A part of me was impressed that I wasn't having some sort of internal panic attack that Alice had noticed something that could've given us away.

_Just tell her the truth. _

"I was cold when we left last night so he let me borrow his hoodie, didn't he?" I shrugged at her, demonstrating how little of a big deal it was. "I just put it on now 'cause it was convenient and I was cold again."

"Huh," Alice remarked after a beat, still studying me strangely.

"What?" I questioned, still feigning nonchalance and leaning back on the kitchen counter.

Alice shook her head, shrugging. "No, it's just he's normally really weird about that kind of thing."

I raised my eyebrow at her. "He's weird about people being cold?"

I knew that wasn't what she meant, but I was trying to throw her off the scent.

"No," Alice laughed, standing up and rubbing at her face tiredly. Apparently I _had_ thrown her off for now. "Ignore me. I was just surprised he'd let you wear it is all."

I thought about what she was saying. Or more about what she _wasn't_ saying. Reading between the lines and going off what she'd told me over the past few weeks, it seemed that girls tended to end up being more into a relationship with Joey than he was.

_Don't over-think it._

"Talk of the devil," Alice mumbled as she put her mug in the sink, interrupting my train of thought.

I turned to see a sleepy-looking Joey walk into the room, clad in tracksuit bottoms and black t-shirt.

_Urgh. Does he ever not look attractive?_

_No._

I swivelled back round, placing my hands on the counter as Alice announced she was going for a shower. I was biding my time; scared of how he was going to react today.

I felt Joey walk up to me and I released a deep breath as his arm went round my waist from behind, much like he had held me in the club when he had pulled me away from Jake.

The only difference this time was that there was no Jake and, rather than being hesitant, Joey pressed a hot, open-mouthed kiss to my neck, making me shudder against him.

"You've perked up since yesterday," I exclaimed, only slightly breathless from the shock of how forward he was being, especially after my worrying that he would have second thoughts.

I felt him smile against my skin as I curled my arms over his where they lay across my stomach. "Yeah, well, things are better today, ain't they?"

I turned in his arms, needing to see his face so that I could believe he was actually saying these words. He smiled at me as I caught his gaze, that small, secret smile that he doesn't give anyone else. The one that reveals those adorable dimples, makes him look so much younger and so, so, _so_ much more attractive.

"Hey," I whispered, pouting up at him as he leaned down and pecked my lips, obliging my unspoken request.

"Hey," he replied, his voice deeper than usual after being asleep. He ran his hands down my arms over the sleeves of his hoodie, his eyebrow arched at me, obviously indicating the fact that I was wearing it.

I smirked at him, resting hands on his chest once he'd let my arms go. "It's mine now."

"Looks better on you anyway," he replied, his eyes a little darker as he spoke.

"Alice was making out like I should feel honoured that you gave me this," I told him, my tone only slightly heavier.

"Technically I didn't _give_ it to you, did I, babe?" he replied, sliding his hands under said hoodie and resting them on my waist as he pulled me into him.

"Technically," I agreed, snuggling closer into his front, my cheek against his t-shirt covered chest. I made a note that I would very much like to add the t-shirt to my collection.

_Maybe you should just take all his shirts and jumpers away and then he will always have to be half-naked. _

_Maybe you should get out of the gutter._

"She meant I don't like sharing," Joey said out of the blue. "Normally."

I looked up at him. "Is that your way of saying I'm not normal?"

He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear. "If you want to put it like that, then yeah."

He captured my lips with his again; the action already feeling so natural and familiar.

"Are we really doing this?" I asked as we broke the kiss, watching his reaction carefully, my hand sliding to his arms and gripping his biceps just below where the sleeves of his t-shirt ended.

"If you're in I'm in," he replied simply, his nose brushing softly against mine.

I smiled, relief and an uncontainable sense of happiness that I hadn't felt for years coursing through me.

That was enough for now.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

A week had passed since that morning, and, so far, our plan of seeing what happens was working well.

On a basic level, we were merely carrying on as normal; we spent a lot of time together anyway, so Alice wasn't really suspicious.

The only change was that our closeness now also consisted of small, hidden touches, stolen kisses and almost getting caught several times almost getting far too carried away.

And it wasn't that either of us wanted to rush anything, but it seemed like the more we got interrupted, the more we started to crave each other.

If it wasn't Alice coming home from work just as we'd gotten a little too close for comfort on the sofa, then it was my phone ringing, announcing that Mum wanted to have another moan about Dad's behaviour, effectively breaking us apart and leaving us breathless and unsatisfied.

I couldn't speak for Joey of course, but I for one didn't know how much more teasing I could handle.

This was especially true after accidentally meeting him fresh out of the shower again yesterday, wearing nothing but a towel and that damn _smirk_. And if Alice hadn't been downstairs I definitely wouldn't have been held responsible for my actions.

"I've got good news and bad news, babe," Joey announced as he walked into the living room where I was sat on the sofa, still poring over the letter I'd received inviting me to an interview at an art college.

"Go on," I replied, snuggling into him as he threw himself down onto the sofa next to me, his arm going over my shoulders.

"Well, it's not really _bad_ news as such, it's just that Alice has gotten carried away over this news and wants to go out to the pub later." Joey indicated the letter which I had put onto the table. "We don't have to go if you don't want to."

Joey knew that, although I had handled Alice's birthday fairly well, I was still a little apprehensive after seeing Jake. It was all still not healed over enough for me to just forget about it just yet.

"Nah, it's fine. It's a nice gesture," I said, messing with the zip on his jacket. "What's the good news?"

"After we've been to the pub, Alice is gonna go stay at Mum's," Joey explained, completely casual.

My head snapped up. "Are you serious?"

"Completely," he assured me, his fingers trailing along the hem of my stripy blouse.

I sat up a little, slinging my arms around his broad shoulders and grinning at him. "So, I get you all to myself to, do I?"

"Maybe," he teased, his lips finding mine, his hands coming to rest in my waist.

Deepening the kiss, I shifted my weight onto my knees, moving so that I was hovering over him. As our tongues battled against each other's, my fingers wound into his short hair, nails scraping his scalp lightly and earning a low groan from him.

He pulled me closer to him, his hands firm at my sides as his lips travelled down my neck. I felt him grin against my skin as he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot he had discovered the other day just under my jaw, a moan escaping my lips and my hips involuntarily shifting against his.

I pulled his face back up to mine, crushing my lips against his once more as his hand crept under my top, his warm fingers lightly brushing the skin of my stomach.

He suddenly shifted beneath me, moving us so that his body was now over mine, my head against the side of the arm of the sofa. I moved my hands down his muscular back, groaning as he pushed my blouse further up my body.

We both groaned suddenly, his body stilling over mine as we heard keys turn in the front door.

He dropped his head into the crook of my neck and mumbled something I didn't catch, removing his hand reluctantly from beneath my blouse.

I laughed breathlessly, shaking my head at how much déjà vu I was experiencing. Honestly, if I didn't laugh I might have cried though.

Letting him pull me up into a sitting position and giving him a quick peck on the lips before moving away from him, I tried to rearrange myself into a more composed version of myself before Alice walked in.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

Being at the pub actually turned out to be pretty fun. It was slightly bigger and busier than The Vic back in Walford, and had a slightly more eclectic mix of people drinking in it. It was a nice change from the nosiness and gossiping I normally associated with local pubs.

At one point I actually felt that relaxed I almost let Alice persuade me into getting a half-pint but changed my mind at the last minute; why push the boundaries when I didn't need to?

All the time we talked, my hand had been encased in Joey's under the table, our fingers entwined. Thinking back to the place I had been in when I first decided to come here, I would never have guessed that I would end up like this.

Unlike when I'd been at home, I felt safe and comfortable, even though we were technically hiding for now. I also didn't feel the need to be defensive about my decisions anymore; didn't feel like I needed to qualify everything I did to a whole town of people.

Waiting for our drinks at the bar, I felt Joey come up behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist tightly. I turned my head to face him, receiving a kiss to the side of my forehead.

"Won't Alice see us?" I questioned worriedly, although I realised immediately she wouldn't considering how dense the crowd around the bar was.

"Nope; she's gone to the loo. Chill out, Lo," he said, his chin against the top of my head.

Whilst we stood there, I revelled in how much of a couple it felt like we were, and looked like we were to everyone around us; him holding me casually, my fingers absently tracing the defined muscles of his arms.

I noticed a vaguely familiar-looking man in a suit staring at us from the other end of the bar. However, before I could really acknowledge it any further, our drinks arrived and when I looked back in his direction, he had gone, and all thoughts of him gone with him.

By the time Alice's taxi arrived, it was getting pretty late, so me and Joey decided to leave with her, walking her to the car.

Waving her off, I grabbed Joey's hand and, once the car had gone round the corner, started to walk in the direction of the house.

However Joey wasn't moving, his hand squeezing mine and halting my progress. I turned to look at him, but he wasn't looking at me.

Instead he was looking, no, glaring, to the left of where we were standing in the direction of the other entrance to the pub.

"Joey?" I asked, moving back into his side and trying to see what had caught his attention so drastically.

It was then that I noticed the man from before, the one who'd been staring at us before, start to saunter over to us, his eyes fixed on Joey's.

"Joey?" I repeated, pushing my fingers through his and bringing myself closer to him. Something about the look on the man's face unsettled me.

"So it_ is_ you, is it? Derek's son?" the man observed, his tone slick, his dark eyes flashing. "Well isn't this a happy coincidence?"

As I looked up into Joey's face though, the anger and hurt burning in his eyes told me that this was most definitely the furthest thing from a _happy_ coincidence.

**A/n**

**Uh-oh! Cliffhanger doof doof again! Looks like we're finally going to find out a bit more about Joey's relationship with Derek and why he chose to stay away from the other Branning's until Derek died. Also, poor Joey and Lauren, always getting interrupted. Wonder if they'll ever actually get a chance to be together? :P**

**Thank you, as always, for leaving me such incredibly lovely reviews. They put the biggest smile on my face. I didn't have a chance to reply this time as I've been so busy, but I've read them all and appreciate them SO much. **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter. See you soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

There was what felt like a very long moment in which none of us spoke or moved. The man continued to stare almost manically at Joey, a sly smile permanently etched onto his lips as Joey continued to stare back, completely taken by surprise.

I squeezed Joey's hand which was still gripping mine tightly, leaning close into him. I didn't know how to respond to this situation at all.

I also didn't understand why this man looked familiar to me; I'd definitely never seen him before, and yet there was something about him that sparked recognition in my mind.

I felt Joey unfreeze beside me, dropping my hand in order to immediately wrap his arm tightly around my waist. I slinked my arms around his body, leaning into him heavily as I looked up at him again, trying to work out what was going on.

Joey looked like he was fighting an internal battle with himself, like he was deciding how to act. I could feel how tense his body was against mine, his arm like an iron cable around me, his other hand curled into a tight fist.

I felt uneasy, to say the least. I wasn't sure I actually _wanted _to know whatever it was that this man, whoever he was, had done to cause such a strong reaction in Joey. I hadn't exactly known Joey a long time, but I knew him well enough to know that, normally, if he's upset or angry, he'll just lash out. A bit like me, really.

However, this time, something had made him stop. Something about this man had stirred up some sort of memory that was obviously having a strong effect on Joey. The man had mentioned Derek's name, so I assumed that whatever it was had something to do with him.

I thought back to the night Joey had opened up to me about his father. About his threatening, abusive, manipulating presence throughout Joey's childhood, and I shuddered to think whatever the back-story was to what was going on here.

Joey rubbed his hand comfortingly over my back, pulling me, if possible, even closer against him. He lowered his head towards mine and spoke quietly, calmly into my ear.

"Lo, go back to the house, yeah?"He pressed a kiss to the top of my head before straightening up again and loosening his grip on me.

"What?" I replied, looking up at him. Surely he didn't think I was actually just going to leave him out here?

"Go home. I'll be right behind you." His voice was still oddly calm; it was like he had shut himself down. I didn't move away from him though; staying close by his side, one hand resting in his front, the other on his back, his muscles extremely tense under my touch.

"I ain't leaving you, Joey," I explained, leaving no room for question in my tone.

"Feisty ain't she, this one?" Joey's nostrils flared in response to the man's comment. He turned to face me properly, his hands going to my face and holding me still, eyes intense.

"Lauren, please," he implored, his thumbs stroking my cheeks softly, obviously trying to appeal to my sensitive side.

"Oh, c'mon, Joseph. If she wants to stay, let her. The more the merrier." The man leered at me as he spoke, sauntering a little closer to us again, straightening out the lapels of his suit as he did so. He really did have an unnerving look about him the closer up he came. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Joey locked his jaw, apparently forcing himself not to speak, his hands falling from my face to my shoulders. I held his gaze determinedly, making sure I conveyed that I was serious in not leaving.

"Where are your manners, Joseph? Your old man would be horrified; stickler for good manners, that one," the man continued, stepping closer to us again. "Clearly take after that mother of yours, don't you, eh?"

Joey's arm wound firmly around my waist again, pulling me behind him as he spun round, fuming.

"Don't you dare talk about my mum," Joey spat. "Don't even _think_ about her."

The man merely smiled nastily, the expression once again reminding me of someone. I still just couldn't quite place who it was though. I ran my hands over Joey's back, trying to calm him down.

"Oh dear. Hit a sore spot, have I?" he goaded before looking round at me again and sniggering. "You want to get yourself someone a bit more capable of growing up and being a man, darlin'. Shame really for a handsome lad like him. So much potential."

"I'll be the judge of that, thanks," I replied shortly, prickling with sudden inrush of anger. This guy was obviously someone from Joey's past, and although I had no idea who he was or what he had done, all I could picture was a much younger version of Joey being scared by this nasty piece of work in front of us. I stood up straighter, staring into his blue eyes, still trying to work out why they were familiar.

The man sniggered again, leering at me, his eyes completely unsubtle as they travelled over my body, partially covered by Joey who I could feel was barely containing his fury.

Noticing Joey's clenched fists, the man's face twisted into a smile again. "Ah, want to punch me do you, Joey? Throw your weight around a bit, eh? Not so unlike Derek as I thought then."

Joey moved forward but I grabbed the back of his jacket tightly with one hand, the other going round his front where I could feel his heart thumping wildly in his chest.

"Leave it, Joey. He's clearly not worth it," I told him, trying to get him to look at me rather than the man. I could understand him being angry, but I _really_ didn't want this to end in a fight. The guy was older but he looked dangerous, just like Derek used to, and although I knew Joey could look after himself, I really didn't want him to get hurt.

The man raised his eyebrow at me, looking somewhere between amused and angry.

"You wanna control this one a bit better, Joey," he announced, casually waving his hand in my direction. "You've seen what happens when they end up out of control, ain't you?"

Before I really knew what was happening, Joey had lunged forward out of my grip and punched the man square in the jaw with a sickening amount of force.

I watched in horror as they struggled against each other for a long moment in which I wasn't sure who was actually causing the most damage, if any was being caused.

Finally, Joey pushed the man away from him powerfully, watching as he stumbled backwards, clenching his jaw uneasily, and wiping away blood from his nose as he furiously at Joey.

"You wanna be careful, lad," he spat, walking away from us in the opposite direction. "You'll make enemies for yourself. Just like your old man did."

"Yeah? It's a shame you're not rotting in hell with him then, eh?" Joey shouted back. The man didn't reply though, simply turning his back on us after giving us both one final glare and disappearing round the back of the pub.

I moved over to Joey immediately, grabbing his arm and pulling him round to face me. He had a bloody nose and a bruised fist but all in all I was relieved to see he didn't look too battle-worn.

"Let me see that," I said, reaching up and holding his face still so that I could inspect it.

"Not here," he mumbled, pulling me into him and winding his arm over my shoulders protectively as we started to walk the short distance to the house.

"Who _was_ that?" I asked him, snuggling into his side as we walked, feeling a bit shaken from what had just happened.

"One of Derek's _friends_," he replied scathingly, swinging the gate open rather more aggressively than was necessary, the hinges creaking loudly. "I've not seen him for years. Forgot how much I hated him."

I digested that information as we made our way inside, wanting to know more but wanting to give him a chance to calm down before asking. Leading Joey into the kitchen, I forced him to sit down so that I could clean up his hand and face.

"He looked familiar to me," I admitted, still a bit unsettled by the fact that I couldn't work out why. "What's his name?"

"I only ever knew him as Sean." Joey spat his name like it was a profanity. "No idea what his full name is."

I didn't recognise the name and shrugged, still feeling uneasy.

Joey clenched his hands into fists again before he winced slightly. "He was always with Derek; he was his right-hand-man." His voice was seething, his tone short. "You said Derek used to be around a lot when you were younger so you probably saw him then."

It seemed like a perfectly reasonable explanation. Derek _had_ been around a lot when I was younger, either to see Dad or to bring Alice round for some reason or another. Around that time, I probably saw Derek more than Joey did.

However I couldn't remember a time when I had seen that man. But then I suppose it wouldn't have been significant to me, so why would I have remembered him?

Pushing the issue to the back of my mind, I focused instead on cleaning Joey up.

"Shall I fix you?" I asked, smiling slightly as I leaned down and pecked a kiss to his lips. He still looked somewhat distracted but returned the kiss for a moment, humming his agreement.

I moved to stand between his legs, holding the back of his head in one hand as I wiped away the blood with the other. He winced lightly as I ran the cloth over the side of his nose; obviously that was where it was bruised the most.

"You're shaking," I commented, unable to tell whether it was from anger, adrenaline or pain.

"M'alright," he mumbled, closing his eyes for a second and breathing deeply. When he looked at me again, his hazel eyes were tortured. I didn't know what he was remembering, but it obviously wasn't pleasant.

I put the cloth down on the table and cupped his face in my hands, pressing my lips to his again. His hands came up, one tangling in my hair, the other just under my jaw, holding my lips to his gently.

As his lips moved softly against mine I felt an emotional intensity behind the kiss that I hadn't felt before. It was like he was worried I was going to pull away or that someone else was going to pull me away.

Eventually our lips parted and I grabbed his hands, apologising when he winced as I grazed his bruised knuckles.

I kept glancing up at him as I set to work on cleaning up his hand, trying to work out exactly what emotion he was feeling right now.

"Just ask if you want to know," he said softly after the third time of me looking up at him.

I grimaced apologetically, entwining his now cleaned-up fingers with mine. "I didn't want you to feel like you have to tell me."

He sat for a moment just watching me before he gave my fingers a squeeze and stood up, going to lean against the kitchen counter, arms braced tensely.

I remained silent, letting him think over whatever it was he was thinking about, until he finally cleared his throat.

"They beat her up," he said quietly, his voice raw with emotion.

I didn't know what to say for a second, having enough trouble trying to come to terms with this new information.

"Who?" My voice was nothing more than a whisper. I think I already knew the answer but I had to ask anyway.

"My mum." He clenched his fists against the top angrily, shoulders hunching over a bit. "She got sick of all the illegal shit him and Dad were keeping in our house and threatened to go to the police." He laughed bitterly before continuing. "So they beat her up to make her keep quiet."

I stood up and walked over to him, placing a hand softly in the centre of his back between his shoulder blades. I didn't know what to say; sorry seemed pointless, and everything else seemed insignificant.

I had known that Derek had been threatening, been cruel sometimes, been abusive mentally. But I hadn't known he had actually_ physically_ beaten a woman up. How could he have beaten up the mother of his own children?

"When?" I asked Joey, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

"Years ago. I was only seven. Alice was three. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to stop them. I didn't..." Joey trailed off. I moved closer to him, ducking under one of his arms and forcing myself into the space between him and the kitchen counter. I grabbed his face like I had done before, making sure he looked at me.

"Joey, you couldn't have done anything. No one would've expected you to," I soothed him. My heart was breaking inside as I for the second time that night I pictured a younger version of Joey, frightened by the situation he was in, not knowing how to deal with it.

Joey watched me for a second before lowering his forehead onto mine, his hands going to me waist.

"How did Alice end up living with him if that happened?" I asked suddenly, remembering that Alice had lived more with Derek than with her mum.

"Alice was always a true daddy's girl," he explained, still bitter but not nasty. "She had no idea about what happened."

"Does she know now?" I wondered aloud. Joey moved his head away from mine slightly, shaking it and swallowing uneasily.

"Don't you think she _should_?" I was a little shocked that Alice could really never have questioned the motives behind her parents' split and why her brother detested their dad so much. "Surely she must've wondered about stuff?"

"She was too young. And very blinkered by him. She knows some of what he did, but not that. Not all of it." He sighed before continuing. "Mum told me never to tell her as soon as it happened. And then eventually it got to the point where neither me or Mum had the heart to tell her. And, seeing as he's not here anymore, what she doesn't know won't hurt her."

As I listened I pictured Alice as I used to know her when we were younger and remember how much she loved Derek, how much she idolised him, and I guessed, in a twisted sort of way, I could see where Joey was coming from.

"What about going to the police?" I questioned, my hands sliding down to his chest.

"Mum never told them, did she?" A look of regret flashed in his eyes before he concealed it. "Too scared of Derek and his pals."

I frowned, trying to get my head around how she could've been so trapped in this situation.

"You don't know what he was really like, Lo," Joey said, stroking my cheek softly with the pad of his thumb, obviously sensing my confusion. "He could talk his way into or out of anything. He knew how to manipulate people, and how to do it properly. He scared her into not going to the police, and knew that she couldn't try to stop him taking Alice because, unless she was prepared to call his bluff and contact them, they wouldn't give her custody without a valid reason."

I stood still for a moment, taking in what Joey had said and remembering how uneasy the man had made me feel before. I tried to understand what it must've been like to have both him and Derek threaten you, how scary that must've been, especially when you've got two children you're trying to protect. At least I finally knew why I never saw Joey or his mum when I was younger.

I wound my arms around Joey's waist, snuggling into his body and revelling in how safe he made me feel in comparison, his strong arms wrapped tightly around me. Joey pressed a kiss to the top of my head before resting his chin on top of it, both of us just caught in the moment.

"What if he comes after you again?" I mumbled after a long time, my face buried against his chest. "What if he tries to hurt you?"

Joey unwound his arms from around me and lifted my face up to his. "That's not gonna happen, is it? I can look after myself," he replied, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear and smiling a little.

He looked much calmer now, almost as if, by telling the story, some of the burden had been lifted from his shoulders.

"Seriously, babe," he insisted. "It'll be fine. I promise. Forget about it."

I pouted at him, my hands absentmindedly sliding up his side. "You can't just share something like that with me and expect me to just forget about it, Joey."

"Then I'll have to make you," he said, his lips descending onto mine passionately. I didn't respond immediately, shocked by his sudden change of mood and feeling like we'd just jumped back in time a few hours to when we were lying on the couch.

I moaned as his tongue fought its way into my mouth, shivering from the intensity of the kiss. My fingers scraped the back of his neck, my mind quickly becoming consumed in the moment.

His hands suddenly went down to the back of my thighs and he lifted me up in a swift movement, dropping me onto the kitchen counter. I hooked my legs around his waist automatically, both of us groaning into the kiss as the action brought our crotches together.

I snuck my hands under his top, eagerly roaming them over his rock hard muscles and enjoying the feel of them rippling under my touch. Joey's lips left mine, finally letting me breathe, only to lavish attention onto my neck instead, his fingers meanwhile working on the buttons of my blouse.

With only minimal help from him, I managed to remove Joey's top finally, my eyes greedily roaming over the god-like torso in front of me. Taking advantage of my momentary distraction, Joey rid me of my blouse, leaving me in nothing but my bra and jeans.

He ran his eyes over my body as greedily as I had done with his, his eyes dark and filled with some emotion that was so intense it felt I should've been burned by it.

I pulled his lips back to mine, pulling him closer to me again, my arms going around his shoulders. His hands skimmed my almost-naked sides before he gripped my thighs again and hoisted me into his arms, his lips never leaving mine.

I squeaked a little in surprise, holding onto him more tightly as he made his way out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I moaned as his tongue ran across my top lip, the feeling going straight to my core and causing me to rock myself against his groin subconsciously. I could feel how hard he was through his jeans, the knowledge of this only making the fire burn more impatiently within me.

I was only just paying enough attention to the outside world to notice that he had taken us into _his_ room and dropped me down onto_ his_ bed. I didn't know why, but I liked the feeling that thought created in me.

Without me really noticing it, being too consumed by what his mouth was doing, we were quickly rid of all clothes except underwear. He grinned at me smugly when he noticed me eyeing up the impressive bulge in his boxers as I lay underneath him, leaning up on my elbows, panting for breath after our last kiss.

He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to my stomach, just above my belly button before focusing his attention slightly north. He raised an eyebrow at me in silent question as his fingers brushed the swell of my breasts, tracing the outline of my bra. I nodded at him, encouraging him to do as he pleased, and mentally congratulating myself for putting a nice bra on that morning.

"So beautiful," he murmured as he made short work of removing said bra, and proceeded to do things with his hands and his mouth that had me a quivering mess, completely at his mercy.

Only being able to take so much, and the ache deep in my stomach becoming almost unbearable, I pulled his mouth away from my nipple and claimed his lips with my own.

"Joey, I need you," I moaned against his mouth, my hands roving over his muscular back. "Now."

Joey pulled his lips from mine and held my gaze for a moment, his eyes heavy with lust. "You sure you want to do this?" he asked me, his voice gravelly, need very clear in his tone and in his erection pressing against my hipbone.

"Yes," I breathed, clutching his face and pecking his lips once. "I want you."

That being all the encouragement he needed, he quickly removed the last of the clothing barriers that were between us, running a finger teasingly over my wet folds and making me buck against him.

"Joey," I gasped, groaning as he repeated the action, my eyes rolling back into my head a little as he pressed his thumb against my clit.

I felt him move back up, his lips against mine once more. We both moaned softly as he lowered his body onto mine, holding some of his weight on his forearms either side of my head, his erection sliding against my centre.

His lips moved against mine slowly, his fingers tangling into my hair as he continued to move against me, teasing me still.

"Joey, please," I mumbled, my arms going round his neck, liking how strong he felt over me. "No more teasing."

I wanted him too much for any more teasing. I'd wanted him for too long, _waited_ for too long to wait any more.

"Fuck, Lauren," he hissed as I shifted my hips against him, forcing him to be closer to where I wanted him. "Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

"I think I have an idea, yeah," I replied breathlessly, rolling my hips against his again and smiling wryly.

His hands slid down my stomach between us, pausing for a moment as a thought occurred to him. "Wait, do we need a condom?"

I shook my head, assuring him that I was on the pill before encouraging him to continue.

He held my gaze, my breath catching as he slowly started to ease himself into me. I gasped as he sheathed himself in me completely, trying to adjust to his size, our foreheads touching lightly, his hand clutching my face gently. I wound my legs around his waist again, pushing him even further into my core as we began to find a rhythm.

The burning ache in my centre was building fast and I knew I wasn't going to last long, my orgasm creeping closer and closer with every thrust of Joey's. I raised my hips to meet his causing him to change his angle slightly, the desperate groan I released because of it muffled by his lips.

His breath was warm against my face, his thrusts becoming stronger and quicker. I couldn't remember ever having felt so sensitive to every movement, every touch, every kiss. Sex with Joey just felt so much better, so much more _right._ Every other experience was paling in comparison.

Kissing him deeply, I ran my fingers through his short hair, my heels digging into his back, moaning as I desperately tried to hold off from falling over the edge just for a bit longer.

"Just come, baby," Joey urged, his voice strangled, his eyes burning into mine.

His name tumbling from my lips, I came apart underneath him, my orgasm ripping through every nerve in my body. I felt Joey follow right after me, growling deeply, his head falling into the crook of my neck as he reached his climax.

Trying to regain my breath, I lay my head back against the pillows, enjoying the feel of Joey lying on top of me, more of his weight on me than before. I stroked my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck for a long, peaceful while, a satisfied, boneless sort of feeling spreading through me.

Joey pressed a kiss to the base of my neck before looking up at me, smiling almost shyly at him. I stroked his cheek, pressing my finger into his dimples and grinning at him.

"You alright?" he asked, quietly.

"Perfect," I replied. He lifted himself off me, both of us moaning at the loss of contact, before rolling onto his side next to me and pulling me into his side, managing to ease the covers round us. We remained quiet for a moment, his arm lying across my stomach, my fingers tracing patterns across his defined muscles.

"What are you thinking?" he asked quietly, his lips brushing my cheek. "You don't regret it do you?"

I caught his eyes, shocked. "What? Of course not! Why? Do you?" I asked, a little horrified for a second.

"Definitely not," he soothed me, pecking my lips. "Just checking."

I huffed at him in mock irritation, snuggling into is body a little more, a smile turning up the corners of my mouth.

After a few minutes I went to get cleaned up, giving him a chance to do the same. Before getting back into bed I snagged one of his t-shirts, laughing as he walked back in wearing only a pair of boxers, shaking his head and mumbling that he'd end up with no clothes at this rate.

_The plan's working then._

Snuggling against his warm body under the covers, his arm tight around me, and fatigue fast creeping up on me, I realised Joey had very much succeeded in his plan of taking my mind off everything that had happened tonight.

I could still see the man's face in my mind's eye, and still feel the heartache of learning what he had done in the past. However, with Joey's body protectively draped around mine and whilst basking in a post-coital bliss and Joey's reassurances, the threat didn't seem as real anymore, didn't seem as _present_.

Somewhere in the very back of my mind though, a part of me was scared that just because we'd fallen and landed on our feet, didn't mean someone couldn't try to kick the ground from beneath us.

**A/n**

**So, yeah, turned into a bit of a beast, this chapter. Hopefully it's still enjoyable though and hopefully you're all still with me! **

**Are you surprised at who the man was? Do you think Joey's right not to be worried? Are you glad they finally got a bit of bamchickawawa? (credit to _superimperfection_ for that particular turn of phrase - literally laughed out loud when I read your message)**

**Thank you a million trillion times to those of you who take a moment to leave me a review. I absolutely love reading them and hearing what you think. You're all the bestest. :)**

**See you next time! **


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Despite how real Derek's old friend's threat had felt, as Joey had predicted, we heard or saw neither head not tail of him over the next few weeks. If Joey hadn't seemed bothered about it at the time, he was practically acting like it never even happened now.

I, however, was still having trouble forgetting about it. In the day it wasn't so difficult as it got easier to worry less about Sean and more about my forthcoming interview at Art College.

At night though, especially when Joey was at work and it was just me and Alice in the house, the thought of him going after Joey chased away any hope of sleeping until I heard his key turn in the door. Mum always used to tell me I was a closet worrywart, but I don't think I'd ever taken anything _this_ seriously before.

The more I thought about what Derek had done, about how many secrets there are between everyone, the more I realised how messed up this family was. Just when I had thought it could possibly get any worse, it had done.

And maybe it was just because my interview was tomorrow and I was nervous, or maybe it was just because I hadn't seen Joey all day I was missing him, but tonight seemed especially bad. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Sean's face. And every time I still got that weird apprehensive feeling because I still couldn't place why he was familiar. I didn't even know why that factor bothered me so much; it just did.

Really, I wanted to creep into Joey's room and get in his bed to wait for him; for some reason, being surrounded by his stuff and his smell made me calm down a bit. But I wasn't sure if Alice was actually asleep or not, having heard her clattering about in her room not that long ago, so I was having to make do with being drowned in one of his t-shirts.

Obviously once Alice had returned from her mum's, me and Joey could no longer just act like normal. I'd got used to kissing him whenever I wanted to, snuggling up next to him on the sofa, waking up in his bed, or him in mine, without worrying about the implications of being caught.

Now that she was back though, we had to temper our affection, shall we say. Not that it really mattered all that much most of the time; we weren't exactly London's most lovey-dovey couple by any means. But it would be nice not to have to hide.

_Pretty sure they should kick you out of this family. Liking to keep secrets is pretty much standard procedure for a Branning, ain't it?_

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair nervously and looked at the clock again. I was sure Joey was normally back by now. I picked up my phone and debated texting him. I didn't want to seem like the clingy girlfriend; I didn't want to be _that_ person. I just needed a bit longer until I could really believe that Sean wasn't going to try and hurt him. Joey could look after himself, yeah. But his overconfidence scared me sometimes.

Just as I was about to send the text I heard the door open downstairs. I mentally rolled my eyes at myself, feeling a little bit pathetic. I listened as he climbed the stairs and came to a stop outside my room. He knocked very quietly and pushed the door open gently, throwing me a concerned but knowing look as he took in my position, arms curled around my knees, sat up against the headboard.

"Saw the light on," he whispered, moving fully into the room and closing the door carefully behind him. "What's the matter, babe?"

I unfurled myself and shrugged almost apologetically, watching as he took off his jacket and shoes and walked over to the bed.

"Why aren't you asleep, eh?" he asked me as I collapsed against him, his arms pulling me into a secure hug as he sat on the bed next to me. I snuggled into him, pulling him backwards so that he was leaning against the headboard and me leaning against him, only just realising how cold I'd been from sitting out of the covers.

"Couldn't sleep," I mumbled. I knew he was going to tell me I was being silly again but I confessed to him anyway. "Kept thinking about that guy again. About Sean."

Joey's arms tightened around me as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "Lo, he's gone. Stop worrying, babe. Please don't let him get to you like this. Let it go."

I looked up at him and, on seeing how sincere he looked, nodded. "I know. Sorry," I added.

He stroked a finger over my cheek that wasn't lying against his chest. "You don't have to apologise. I just don't want you to be scared by someone like him. He doesn't have the right to scare you."

We sat for a while, his words sinking in. Every now and then he rubbed his hand over my back comfortingly, and I felt myself relaxing for the first time that night. I traced patterns around the buttons of his white shirt as I lay there, enjoying the peace.

"I was getting a bit clingy there for a minute y'know, when you were late. It was embarrassing," I told him after a few minutes, smiling up at him crookedly.

He laughed, the vibration of it rumbling through his chest. "You can cling to me any time, babe."

"Oh really?" I replied, smirking at him suggestively as I leaned up on my left elbow. "I might just take you up on that then. You sure you could handle it though?"

His lips turned up into that charming, crooked smile as he inclined his face towards mine, his lips mere inches away from mine. "You know I like a challenge."

I closed the gap between our lips just for a second, teasing him. I leaned over him more fully so that I was almost on top of him, my forearms against his solid chest, hands gripping his collar.

"Is that all I am to you, then?" I whispered, raising my eyebrow. "A challenge?" His hands ran up my sides, not stopping until they were cupping my face gently.

"Yep," he agreed, his eyes twinkling. "Amongst other things."

Joey pulled my face down to his slowly, our lips meeting sweetly, my cheeks still framed by his large hands. His tongue ran over my top lip before he sucked it gently into his mouth, earning a soft moan from me.

My fingers started to clumsily fumble with the top few buttons of his shirt whilst one of his hands slid to the back of my head, tangling in my hair. I moved so that my knees were either side of his waist, finishing off the last of the buttons and managing to free him of his shirt.

I slid my hands down his front, still as mind-blown by that wash-board stomach as I was when I first saw it, as he claimed my lips with his one again.

Shifting underneath me, he flipped us over suddenly, the movement taking me by surprise, his arms caging over me, his lips never leaving mine. I giggled loudly, forgetting where we were and what time it was, only to realise as Joey froze over me, his head turning in the direction of my door.

I followed his gaze, listening intently in what now seemed like such a heavy silence. When, after a few seconds, I still couldn't hear or see anything, I turned back to him, raising an eyebrow at him in question.

"Wha-?" I began in a whisper, only for Joey to shush me gently, a finger going over my lips as he still watched the door.

It was then that I heard Alice's footsteps pad quietly across the landing, past my room and towards the bathroom. Once the door had shut, Joey removed his hand from my face and kissed me once before rolling over so that he was lying next to me rather than over me, the moment over.

"How did you hear her?" I asked him, my voice barely more than a whisper. "D'you have super hearing or something?"

"I heard her door open," he said, rolling his eyes whilst smirking at me. "It's your fault for being so bloody loud."

"Don't blame me!" I smacked his arm playfully, before grabbing his hand and holding it in mine. "D'you think she knows you're in here?"

"Lauren," Joey said, looking at me sympathetically. "Do you for one second thing that if my sister suspected I was in here she would just happily carry on with her night, eh?"

I pursed my lips, tangling his fingers with mine absentmindedly. After a minute, we heard Alice return to her room, silence falling over us once again.

Joey shuffled a bit, getting more comfortable as he pulled the covers round us, before reaching over me and switching off my bedside light. I snuggled into his side in the darkness, laying my head back on his chest and sighing.

"I hate hiding like this, Joe," I mused, my eyes growing heavy with the sleep that had evaded me before. "Hiding like it's something to be ashamed of, when it's not. I'm not ashamed."

"I know, babe," he replied, his arm winding round my waist and pulling me close to him. "I hate it too. But maybe we should wait a bit longer."

I scoffed, looking up at him, my chin resting on his chest. "Until what? Until we break it to her gently, you mean? Can just imagine how that conversations going to go. Oh, yeah, Alice. Y'know your brother Joey? The one who lives with us? The one who is my _cousin_? Well, we're hooking up." I shook my head minutely, feeling frustrated. "And that's just Alice! What about everyone else?"

"Calm down, babe, will you?" Joey cupped my face in one of his hands, stroking his thumb over my eyelid. "You're over-thinking it. Weren't you the one convincing me it didn't matter not that long ago? We'll tell them when we're ready, yeah? We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

I nuzzled my face against his palm automatically and nodded slightly, trying to calm myself down. My opinion hadn't changed towards whether or not people were happy about me and Joey; I still didn't care. I just didn't want to hide it.

"You've got more important things to worry about anyway," Joey continued, rolling his eyes as me when my gaze snapped back up to his in fear. "Not him," he insisted, obviously knowing my mind had gone straight to Sean. "No, your interview, remember?"

"Oh yeah," I sighed, laying my head back on his chest and closing my eyes. "That." I felt like I should've been more nervous for the interview than I felt right now; I hoped this didn't mean I was going to get a few weeks worth of nerves in one go in the morning.

_Probably._

"Second thoughts?" Joey asked, his fingers massaging my back a little, making me even drowsier.

"No," I mumbled. "Just...apprehensive."

"It'll be fine," he assured me. "They'll love you."

I shrugged against him; I could only try my best.

Just as I was starting to drift off, Joey pressed a kiss to my forehead, pulling me tighter against him. "Don't worry about Sean anymore, yeah?"

I nodded and nuzzled against him, my worries from before seeming silly and insignificant now that I was wrapped in his strong, protective embrace.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

It turns out I was right about all the nerves hitting me at once the next morning. I woke up an hour earlier than I needed to in a complete panic, and was _that _fidgety I couldn't even be tempted to stay in bed with Joey, much to his sulky disappointment.

"Y'know, for someone who wasn't even sure this is what she wanted, you're taking these nerves seriously, babe," Joey said, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind as I flicked through my portfolio in the kitchen, biding time until I had to leave.

"Wafer thin ice, Joseph," I replied offhandedly, nudging him with my elbow. He'd already been winding me up relentlessly about my nerves for an hour. I think he'd been trying to make me lighten up but instead it was making me worse.

Joey chuckled, squeezing his arms around me and kissing the back of my head. "Seriously, babe, you'll be fine. You've got to chill out; they'll think you're always this crazy."

"That's what you think," I quipped back. "How do you know this isn't the real me?"

"Oh, I know the real you, baby. Don't worry," he mumbled, his lips travelling down my neck, sucking my skin into his mouth every now and then and making me moan, despite my current predicament.

"Is that true?" I replied suggestively, leaning into him and dropping my portfolio back onto the kitchen table. As I did so, one of his hands left my waist abruptly, slamming down onto a page of my portfolio as it hit the table.

"What's wrong?" I asked, confused. Joey shifted so that he was stood next to me instead, picking up the folder so as to look at it more closely. When he didn't answer me, I looked up at him and saw that he looked a bit shocked.

And that's when I realised what drawing I'd put in there.

I couldn't be sure, because I couldn't see what he was looking at, but I'd bet good money that he had just happened to have spotted the drawing I'd done of his face.

_Shit._

_He's gonna think you're a right stalker._

I leaned up on my tiptoes, pulling the corner down, and felt my cheeks go red as my suspicions were confirmed. I pulled the folder out of his hands, closing it sharply and trying to think of some excuse that didn't make me sound like I needed help.

_Why did you have to put that one in there?_

_Because I'm my own worst enemy?_

I chanced a look up at his face again, his eyes meeting mine. I couldn't read them. I breathed out deeply, flushing once more.

"What can I say?" I said, clearing my throat and wringing my fingers together. "You have an ugly face."

Joey's lips twitched, his eyes twinkling mischievously, amusement apparently winning out over shock horror.

_If he doesn't run a mile first, he'll never let you live this down, I hope you realise._

I rolled my eyes, knowing he was never going to accept just that. If I was going to dig myself a hole, I may as well make sure I do it thoroughly.

"An _interesting_, ugly face," I added, only a little bit defensive.

Joey turned so that he was facing me properly, a cocky grin sliding across his face, dimples more charming than ever.

"Yeah?" he asked, one of his hands coming up to my face and brushing a strand of hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. "Well I guess that's the main different between me and you, ain't it? At least my face is interesting."

I wrinkled my nose at him playfully; it was that or melt under his gaze which was making me feel as far from ugly as I could've got. And I wasn't really the melting type.

His other hand went to my waist, pulling me against him. "I love it, Lo."

I questioned him with my gaze, my arms sliding round his neck lazily. "Really? You're not creeped out?

"A bit," he shrugged, his smirk turning even more dangerous. "But in a good way."

"Is there a good way to be creeped out?" I asked him, shuddering at how close he was to me, how intense his stare was. It didn't help that he had just showered and so smelled all fresh and manly and delicious.

"I guess you'll find out," he responded, his lips descending onto mine, all panic over my interview chased away for a blissful moment.

Just as the kiss was growing considerably deeper, Alice, ever the one with impeccable timing, chose that moment to wish me luck before she left for work.

I pulled my lips from Joey's with a sigh, giggling at the look on his face, and shouted a thank you and a goodbye in the direction of the front door.

Once she had gone, I pecked Joey's lips one last time and picked up my portfolio, deciding I'd put off leaving long enough.

"Right, I'm going," I announced, mirroring his pout as he pulled a face at me. "Oh get over yourself."

Joey grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me briefly but passionately.

"Good luck," he said, smiling at me. "Not that you'll need it."

_I had a feeling I would though._

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

To be honest, the interview ended up being a bit of a blur. It seemed to be over so quickly that I wondered what the point of all the worrying had been.

I think it went fairly well, although I didn't want to count my chickens yet. I didn't think it went _badly_, put it that way.

I was had just about made it back to the tube station when my phone rang, Mum's name flashing across the screen.

"Hey," I said, struggling to hold my portfolio and bag in one hand and my phone in the other.

"Hi, darlin'," she replied, proceeding to launch into an interrogation about my interview.

I stood by the entrance to the station, out of way of the crowd, knowing I would lose all signal when I went in.

"You sound happy, darlin'" Mum remarked once she was satisfied hearing about the college.

"I _am_ happy," I replied, trying not to sound shifty. I knew where Mum was going with this and I really didn't want her to put me in a position where I either had to lie or tell her something that she probably wasn't going to like.

"It's different, nice," Mum continued. "Wouldn't be a boy involved, would there?"

I rolled my eyes; typical Mum. "I don't need a boyfriend to be a happy, Mum."

_Joey helps considerably though, eh?_

"I know, I know," she said, laughing at me. "I was just asking. I like to be informed."

"Yeah, I know," I grumbled, smiling despite myself.

"Listen, darlin'," Mum went on, not reacting to what I said. "It's your dad's birthday next week. Why don't you come home for the weekend and we can go to the pub for a few drinks, a family meal, yeah?"

I _really_ didn't want to; Branning family meals didn't have the greatest reputations. But she sounded so hopeful that I already felt guilty and I hadn't even said no.

"Does it have to be a _big_ family meal?" I moaned, letting her know I wasn't all that keen on the idea.

"Yes, if does," she deadpanned, her 'I mean business' tone coming out. "I thought you could bring Alice and her brother with you. Joey, is it? We could all meet them. I haven't seen Alice since she was eleven!"

I curled my lip in distaste at the idea. Although such a gathering would be very much improved by Alice and Joey's presence, specifically Joey's, we would once again have to struggle with the whole to hide or not to hide issue.

"Nah, Mum, I'm not really sure I want to do that, y'know," I told her, but knowing all the same that I was fighting a lost battle; she would just keep guilt-tripping me until I agreed.

"Oh, please, Lauren. I miss you. And it's your dad's birthday, after all." She knew she'd won when I sighed dejectedly, muttering a fine. I guessed that would be another bridge to be crossed when reached.

As she prattled off some times, I got that prickling sensation you get when you suddenly become aware that you can feel someone's eyes on you.

I looked round to my right side, trying to decipher why I felt this way. It took me a few seconds, but my eyes finally landed on the culprit. I swallowed deeply, panic and fear stalling my thought process for a moment.

"Listen, Mum, I've got to go," I mumbled into the phone numbly, disconnecting the call without waiting for a reply.

Today had been the first day in weeks that I hadn't actually thought of the person stood staring at me, a malicious glint in his eye. I still didn't know why he looked familar. I didn't know what to do, what to think. But I did know one thing at least.

Joey had been wrong not to worry.

**A/n**

**Uh-oh! D'you reckon it was a coincidence? Or is Lauren in trouble? **

**Thank you SO much for all the truly lovely reviews for the last chapter - it means so much, as always. I think I managed to reply to most of them, but if I missed any, thank you!**

**Hope you liked the chapter; see you next time. :)**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I stood up straighter, shoving my phone in my pocket and trying to rationally decide how to deal with this situation. Realistically, I knew I only had two options. Either run for it, or stand my ground. Neither were coming across as all that appealing, to be honest with you.

Because what I_ really, honestly_ wanted to do, despite how much this man scared me, was slap him so hard across the face that he would forever have my handprint marking his sallow, disgusting cheek.

The mental image of me actually hitting him, showing him how much I hated him for what he had done to Joey, fuelled a bout of unrestrained bravery in me. I scowled at him, raising my chin indignantly as he started to make his way towards me, apparently undeterred by the sheer volume of people making their way into the tube station.

Although the thought was persisting, I knew I couldn't hit him. For one, I could practically _hear_ Joey's voice in my head, as clear as if he was actually there next to me, telling me that, although it would be incredibly satisfying, it would definitely not help. It didn't take a genius to recognise that Sean was dangerous; even if I hadn't ever met him before, even if I didn't know anything about him, I would be wary of him. It was something about the way he carried himself; he had a dodgy aura.

For another, I was genuinely worried about how Sean would react if I hit him. He wasn't just some drunken nutter coming on too strong in a club, or simply someone who needed putting in their place. He was a guy who clearly knew how to use their fists and didn't care who they used them against.

And as much as I wanted to stick up for myself, and for Joey, I knew Joey would never forgive me, or himself for that matter, if I went and got myself into trouble just because I couldn't keep my temper, especially after everything he had shared with me about this man who was fast approaching me. I had seen how Sean had fought back against Joey with my own eyes, and I really didn't stand a chance if he chose to exert that much force with me.

It would be all well and good for me to whack him, maybe knee him where the sun don't shine, but what would I do if he went ballistic? Joey wasn't there to protect me if he decided to retaliate and I couldn't just rely on some stranger to be my knight in shining armour.

Hating how defenceless I felt in comparison to him, I decided to take a third, last minute option: the high road. A confrontation wasn't going to fix anything, so I would show him instead how much I really didn't care to give him any attention whatsoever.

Breaking my gaze from Sean, who was now almost right in front of me, I slipped into the throng of the crowd which was still just about separating us and started walking, without really thinking about it, into the station.

I managed to make it made it though the ticket barrier and into one of the main tunnels before I felt someone behind me, way to close for comfort.

"Why the rush, darlin'?" I recognised Sean's smoky, sneering tone immediately, the memory of the last time I saw him breaking through that bravery which had struck me before.

"I ain't your darlin', and I don't have nothing to say to you," I spat without looking round. I heard him snigger behind me before he reached out and grabbed my arm, spinning me round so that I was facing him.

"Fiery, ain't you? I can see what Joey likes in you. I'm glad we got to meet again unexpectedly like this, Lauren, isn't it?" he said, leering at me. I turned my nose up at him as a reflex, his sickly tone and the look in his eyes making me very uncomfortable.

"Get off me," I demanded, putting as much venom behind my words as I could, thankful that my voice wasn't wavering even if my confidence was. I wanted more than anything for Joey to just miraculously appear and get me away from this creep. But I knew that Joey was nowhere near here; by now he would be at work as he was working the day shifts this week.

"Or what?" he replied, raising his eyebrow at me and tightening his grip on my arm. I threw him a disgusted look, anger coursing through my veins.

"What do you mean _or what_?" I questioned, my lip curling up at him, glaring up at him. "You gonna beat me up like you did Joey's mum, eh? Is that your answer to everything? Get off on it do you? You don't get what you want so you take it out on people much smaller than you, yeah?"

His sauntering facade dropped for a second, obviously reacting to the fact that I knew about what he had done. He recovered quickly though, pulling me in close to him, his grip on my arm tighter than ever; my fingers were actually starting to tingle from the lack of blood circulation. I tried not to flinch, not wanting to let him know how much he was affecting me.

"You want to watch that mouth," he snarled, towering over me, everything about him threatening. "You tell Joey I want to see him." As he spoke, he pushed a piece of paper with what looked like a phone number on it into the pocket of my jacket with his free hand.

"He doesn't want to see you," I assured him nastily, trying to pull my arm back. I glanced around me quickly, not altogether surprised that no one around us seemed to be paying any attention. For all they knew, he was just a well-dressed man talking to a young woman; they wouldn't look for specific details.

"We'll let him speak for himself, shall we?" Sean replied, his face twisted into what I assumed was supposed to be some sort of smile. He still just looked malicious though.

_And why does he look so familiar?! _

"Don't worry that pretty little head of yours; I won't hurt him." Sean scoffed a little, trying to smile again. "I just want to talk to him. It'll be very convivial."

"Why waste your time? He'll only say what I just told you." I yanked my arm again, as unsuccessful as before, panic secretly starting to set in. "Now let go of me."

"You tell Joey to come see me." His gaze and tone were deadly serious, completely ignoring my demand.

"I think he made it perfectly clear he how much he _didn't_ want to see you last time," I retorted, glaring at him. He really was such a cretin.

"Tell him to come see me," Sean repeated, his voice laced with anger. "And make it crystal clear that waiting for _me_ to come to_ him_ will be a lot worse."

I felt dread wash over me at the threat. I should have just run for it when I first saw him, rather than give him the opportunity to do _this_.

"Do you really have nothing better to do with your life than threaten people?" I asked, every syllable punctuated with hatred. I noticed from the corner of my eye that we had attracted the attention of a security guard, but I was too angry, too upset, too scared to be relived anymore.

"Tell him, or I'll come after both of you," Sean threatened, his hand finally relinquishing my arm as he too noticed the security guard.

"Is there a problem here?" The guard asked, eying Sean suspiciously.

"None at all," Sean answered before I could, his tone completely casual all of a sudden, a smile, albeit a fake one, adorning his face. "We were just saying goodbye."

"Is that true, Miss?" The guard asked me as I shook my arm a little, trying to restart the blood flow as I glared in appalled disbelief at how shady this guy was.

"I'll be off then. Remember what I said," Sean said pointedly before abruptly turning and disappearing into the crowd.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I heard the guard's question but my brain seemed to be frozen. I merely nodded stiffly once before heading numbly towards the station; there was nothing he could do to help me.

I pulled out my phone a bit shakily and dialled Joey's number, not caring that I barely had any signal. The call went straight to voicemail though and I sighed dejectedly, unsure of what to do. All the anger and adrenaline seemed to have drained from me very suddenly and now all I was left with was nerves and pure fear.

I tried ringing him several more times but each time the call didn't connect. In the end I left him a voicemail, babbling worriedly and unconsciously about what had happened and telling him to call me back straight away.

Almost without really thinking about it, I ended up getting off the tube a stop early and making my way on auto-pilot to the club Joey worked in. I had decided I couldn't wait to see him, couldn't wait for him to go on his break and check his phone; I needed him to tell me it was all going to be okay, even if it was a lie.

I just wanted Joey.

I wanted a drink.

_No._

_Pull yourself together, for God's sake_.

I knew I only thought I wanted alcohol because that was always how I dealt with being worried or angry in the past. I had to get over it, I had to calm down.

Finally making it into the club I made a bee-line for the main room, hoping that's where he would be. It wasn't all that busy in there at this time of day so it was easy to see clearly enough, and it was clear that Joey wasn't in there.

I walked round the bar, chewing my lip nervously and managed to catch the attention of one of the other bar staff.

"Have you seen Joey?" I asked them, immediately taking off in the direction of the staff room to which they pointed.

I spotted him as soon as I opened the door, stacking some crates at the far end of the room. I noticed in my periphery vision the blonde woman who had told Joey to stop flirting with me the night of Alice's birthday come out of her office and throw me a surprised look.

"Excuse me, love. You can't be in here," the woman said in a stern but not unfriendly tone.

"Lauren?" Joey asked, looking up at me in surprise as I made it across the room, his arms going round me slowly but securely as I flung myself at him, burying my face against his chest.

"Joey, she can't be in here," the woman continued, but he paid her no attention, instead lowering his lips to my ear and speaking softly.

"What's the matter, eh?" One of his hands rubbed my back slowly as I struggled to compose myself. It was as if all the emotions I'd run through in the past hour had all bubbled over and I was finding it hard not to want to just cry.

"Joey, are you listening to me? I can see she's upset, but I've got those inspectors arriving any second and she just can't be in here. I'm sorry," the woman insisted. I felt Joey sigh with irritation, one of his arms leaving my side as his other snaked more tightly around my waist as he pulled me into his body

"We'll use your office then, seeing as you're not using it," Joey quipped back, leading us through the door the blonde woman had just walked out of.

"You've got five minutes Joey," the woman called, a slight hint of amusement in her voice. Clearly Joey was one of her favourites.

Joey closed the door behind us, pulling me back into his protective embrace straight away, his lips against the top of my head.

"Babe, what's up, eh?" he crooned softly, rocking me from side to side slightly, comfortingly. "The interview can't have gone that badly."

I shook my head and tightened my grip around him, wanting to make the most of how safe he made me feel. When I still didn't reply after a minute, Joey placed a hand under my chin, coaxing me to look up at him. His hazel eyes were concerned, a frown creasing his forehead.

"Lo, tell me," he provoked gently, my hands falling to his sides as I took in a deep breath. He pressed a feather-light kiss to my forehead and my eyes closed briefly under the sensation.

"Did you not get my voicemail?" I asked, my lip wobbling embarrassingly.

"Clearly not," Joey replied, sounding a little more impatient, his thumb stroking my cheek gently. "Babe, what's wrong? Why are you here? Just tell me."

"He was there Joey. At the station." My voice was breaking on the words, tears forming in my eyes.

"Who was?" Joey asked, wiping at a tear which had barely started to fall. I breathed in deeply again, trying to regain some control.

"Sean." It came out as a whisper, almost as if my voice didn't want to form the word. I watched as Joey's nostrils flared with anger, an array of emotions flitting across his face.

"What happened?" Joey asked, unmistakable traces of anger in his tone.

"I was on the phone to Mum on my way back, and I saw him staring at me outside the station." Joey's jaw locked as I spoke, his eyes dark. "And I _tried_ to ignore him, I promise. I didn't go looking for an argument, even though I wanted to. But he followed me in and grabbed me, and I got angry and said some stuff I maybe shouldn't have done, and he then _he_ got angry and told me I had to tell you to get in touch with him."

"For what?" Joey's voice was sceptical and sharp with barely contained anger.

"No idea. He just said he wanted to talk to you, and not hurt you." I mimed quotation marks in the air dubiously as I spoke. "He left his number on this," I explained, handing him the piece of paper from my coat pocket, feeling a bit better at having got the words out. Joey stared at the paper for a second screwing it up and pushing it into his own pocket.

"Well he can whistle, can't he?" Joey said bitterly.

"He said if you don't go to him, he'll come after you, and me," I added, hating that it sounded like I was playing the victim but needing him to know the full extent of Sean's threat.

"I'm scared, Joey," I admitted after a moments silence.

"Don't be," Joey insisted, his hands going to my face, his palms cupping my cheek gently, his eyes sincere. "I can look after you, Lauren."

"I know you can," I replied, my lip wobbling again. "But what about when you're not there, eh? Like today? You can't protect me all the time."

"Ay, c'mere," Joey soothed me, his arms closing around me as he brought me tightly against his body. "It's gonna be okay, Lo."

"You don't know that," I told him, leaning against him heavily, nuzzling the left side of my face into the crook of his neck. I breathed in his scent deeply, letting myself be comforted by him.

"Just trust me," Joey requested softly, his fingers tangling through my hair rhythmically. "I'll sort it."

"What? How?" I asked, looking up at him, nervous all of a sudden.

Joey opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the door of the office opening all of a sudden, the blonde woman walking in and telling Joey that he needed to get back to work.

As she strutted over to her desk and sat down, straightening up piles of paper that were already straight, I regained Joey's attention, my hands gripping his collar.

"What did you mean _you'll sort it_?" I demanded, trying to imagine and not imagine at the same time what he could possibly mean.

"Babe, go home, I'll see you later, yeah?" Joey leaned forward and captured my lips with his own, giving me a short but intense kiss.

"Joey, work," the woman tutted, clearing her throat loudly.

"It'll be fine, Lo," Joey assured me one last time as he walked me to the door.

"But you haven't explained anything to me," I told him, more than little frustrated with him.

"Babe, seriously. I've got to get back in there before Sharon fires me." He cupped my cheeks again, his expression honest and intense. "I _promise_ you, everything will be okay."

_I'd had that promised to me before though, and it very rarely was._

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

After another six hours of anxiousness and having to convince Alice that I was only in a mood because my interview hadn't gone well even though it had, Joey _finally_ turned up at the house. At by that point, I was furious.

Furious because my day had been ruined by Sean, once again. Furious because I'd ended up in another ridiculously dramatic situation. Furious because I was so worried about Joey, who infuriatingly hadn't replied to any of my texts or calls for the last two hours and should have been home ages ago. Furious because once again it felt like someone else had more control over my life, and Joey's life, than we did of our own.

I had told Alice I was going to get an early night and had retreated to my room, curling up under the covers in a pair of Joey's boxers and one of his t-shirts, watching some mindless cooking programme without really paying any attention.

I heard my door open and Joey quietly make his way into my room but I didn't turn round to greet him. Partly out of petty anger and partly because I was scared something would have happened to him.

I felt him lift the covers and the bed dip behind me, his strong arms snaking around my waist and pulling my back against his front, his lips kissing the back of my shoulder as he leaned over me, leaning on his elbow.

"Lo," he crooned into my ear softly, his warm breath tickling my neck.

"No, Joey. I'm angry with you," I admitted, although I couldn't help but automatically snuggle against him a little.

"I know; I don't blame you," he agreed, his hand splaying over my stomach and gently pulling me round to face him so that I was lying on my back. His apologetic gaze softened my temper as my eyes met his, his index finger tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

_He's lucky he's so handsome, really._

"So?" I demanded, my tone still a bit icy. "Do I get to hear whatever the hell it is you've been doing, or _sorting_, should I say?" I gave him a quick appraisal with my eyes as I spoke; he didn't look hurt, so whatever it was, Sean hadn't done anything physical damage.

"I called him, asked him what he wanted, didn't I?" Joey explained, his eyes never leaving mine, his hand falling back to my waist, his fingers sneaking under the fabric of his t-shirt and occasionally brushing across the skin of my stomach under his t-shirt.

"And that's it?" I said, disbelief saturating my tone. "Simple as that, eh?" Joey nodded, smiling a little as I rolled my eyes at him. "He said he wanted to _see_ you, Joey, not have a pleasant natter on the phone."

"Yeah, well, that wasn't part of the deal. I told him if he wanted to speak to me he would have to do it now or never," Joey replied simply.

"And he just...went along with that, did he?" I asked cynically, tracing line across his forearm below where his shirt-sleeve ended.

"Not at first, no. Got it out of him eventually, though," Joey grumbled, his teeth gritted. "Turns out he wants an alibi for that night we saw him outside the pub."

I just lay for a moment, digesting this unexpected piece of information. This was completely not what I was expecting. All that threatening behaviour and malevolence, and he wanted a _favour_?

"An alibi?" I repeated, a little distrustful. "So...it wasn't anything to do with what he said that night? About you making enemies for yourself?"

Joey shook his head, a knowing look in his eyes. "I told you those were empty threats, babe. He wasn't really interested in us two; he just enjoys winding people up when he sees them, likes playing in the past for a bit."

"Go on," I prompted when he stopped for a second. I wasn't going to let him enjoy that he was right about that; I had a right to have been scared, clearly.

"But now his name's been dropped into some pretty serious investigation about someone being badly bust up that night and he needs an alibi." Joey's mouth was a grim line, but there was a satisfied glint in his eye.

"But why does he need you?" I asked, still confused. "He wasn't there by himself. Why doesn't ask some of his disciples or whatever they are."

"They're not trustworthy alibis, and he's been in so much trouble with the police in the past that he has little chance of being believed," Joey explained, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

I let all of this sink in, my fingers still tracing across his skin slowly, watching as his hand on my stomach was rising and falling with my breathing.

"So, what did you say?" I asked, unsure as to whether I wanted to hear the answer.

"No, obviously," Joey said, definitely sounding satisfied now.

"And I'm sure he's delighted with that, right?" I said sarcastically, the worrier in me sitting up and paying attention.

"I didn't give him a choice, babe," Joey told me, the arm that had been propping him up curling around the top of my head against the pillow, his fingers tangling in my hair again. "I told him the deal was he either leaves us, especially you, alone and I won't say anything to the police."

Joey paused for effect, seeing my look of incomprehension. I didn't see how this plan benefited Sean at all.

"_Or_, if he wants to continue harassing my girlfriend and myself, I _will_ talk to the police, and I'll tell them to add _another_ charge of harassment onto the many others already against him." I could tell Joey was trying not to look too proud of himself, but he wasn't doing a fabulous job, the extrovert in him making it too obvious.

Recovering from the thrill of him calling me his girlfriend for the first time, I tried to compose myself and stay serious for just a bit longer.

"And you think he'll accept that?" I asked, a residual wave of the fear I felt before just lapping at my conscience.

"He doesn't have a choice, Lo." Joey said softly, the pad of his thumb brushing my forehead. "He might be a nasty piece of work but even he doesn't wanna end up in the nick."

We sat for a moment, just watching each other. I knew that Joey understood that I had been really shaken up by Sean's unfortunate introduction into my life, even if he hadn't always appreciated the full extent to which I had felt scared, and I could see that he was letting me have a moment to be cynical and mull it all over.

I couldn't help but feel like I would have to take this situation on a 'I'll believe it when I see it' basis, and I could see that Joey knew that. I could understand how Joey's plan _could_ work, but was nervous that a human as horrific as Sean wouldn't find a way to hurt Joey, or me, anyway.

"I'm sorry I was a bit abrupt with you before at work," Joey said after a minute, brushing his nose against mine gently, his eyes smouldering. "Forgive me?"

"I'll think about it," I breathed, pursing my lips and trying not to melt under his gaze, which wasn't really going that well for me.

"What if I make it up to you?" he suggested, his hand pushing the t-shirt further up my body, his hand sliding over my skin as it went, stopping just below my breasts and teasing the soft skin just below them.

"Depends what you had in mind," I retorted, my voice catching, shivering slightly as his lips ran down my neck lightly before finding that sweet spot and sucking gently. I moaned automatically, squirming beneath him, my fingers going to the side of his head and scraping through his hair. His lips left my skin, and he looked back up at me, his eyes dark, a smirk on his lips.

"I reckon you'll like it, babe," he assured me confidently as he finally lifted the t-shirt over my head, throwing it over the edge of the bed.

"How can you be so sure?" I demanded breathlessly, meeting his eyes with as much mock-defiance as I could.

He smiled crookedly at me, moving over me properly, his solid shoulders caged around me, his fingers brushing from my cheek down to the swell of my now-exposed breasts.

"Because you're already blushing and shaking and I haven't even started with you yet," he explained, his voice deep and gravelly. My breath whooshed out of me at his words, attraction, lust and need coursing through my veins.

I pulled his face back up to mine and crushed my lips to his, making a fast start on the buttons of his shirt. Because if he thought he was going to have all the fun teasing, he was very much mistaken.

_Funny how there are some people you just can't stay mad at, ain't it?_

**A/n**

**Would you be able to stay mad at Joey? Doubt it. :P Do you think Sean is bound by Joey's deal or not? ****I know some of this chapter was quite heavy, but I tried to put a bit of cuteness in there too. And nevermind Lauren, I think we all need our own Joey to make it up to us after last weeks 'Enders.**

**Thank you for all your lovely eviews, I absolutely love reading them; they literally brighten my day and mean so much to me.**

**Don't let the real EE storylines get you down too much! See you next time! x**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The day of Dad's "birthday dinner" arrived with no more developments on the Sean-front, much to my shocked, but relieved self. And because I still hadn't managed to convince Alice and Joey that it probably wouldn't be a good night, and because I also knew that even if I _had _backed out on going this time, Mum would only have found another way to make me face the music of returning to Walford sooner or later, we were all going this evening once Alice finished her shift and were staying the night.

I had thought I'd be nervous or apprehensive about going back, even if it was for what would be less than twenty-four hours, but really I just felt a strange kind of apathy towards it. When I had told Jake all those weeks ago that I had moved on, I really meant it. I felt like I had grown a lot, changed a lot.

I mean, yes, I still had issues, and still had things that haunted me. But then who doesn't? I was learning to deal with them, which was more than I had ever done before.

I was just packing my toothbrush into my toiletry bag in the bathroom when I heard Joey get back from the gym, making his way up the stairs. Just as he reached the bathroom door, still not having seen me, he peeled his t-shirt from his body, flinging into the open wash-basket.

"Is this a free strip show, or do I have to pay?" I asked him cheekily, if not breathlessly. He was still a bit sweaty from the gym, all muscles and low-riding tracksuit bottoms and that very particular type of sexy arrogance.

His eyes snapped up to mine, a smirk adorning his face as he stepped closer to me, his arms winding around my waist, his front flush against my back. I was only wearing a thin vest top at the time, and where my shoulders weren't covered, his warm skin seemed to blaze against mine.

"So, I had a thought whilst I was at the gym," Joey began, his eyes locked with mine in the reflection of the mirror, hands sneaking under the hem of my top and splaying across my stomach, causing me to shudder.

"Is that safe?" I teased, smirking at him in the mirror and trying not to moan as his lips descended to my neck, sucking lightly.

"Funny," he quipped against my skin, one of his hands dipping lower and teasing the waistband of my leggings, making my heart rate speed up. "No, I was thinking that, if we're staying at your mum's tonight, we're not gonna be able to do stuff."

"What kind of stuff would that be then?" I asked suggestively, watching our reflections, mesmerised, as his lips continued to work their magic on my neck.

_You've got to give the boy credit; he's barely touching you and you're already unravelling._

"I think you know." His lips were right at my ear, voice gravelly and enticing, so much so that I may have just whimpered from hearing the tone of it even if his fingers hadn't just found the hem of my knickers.

"And what exactly do you want to do about that, eh?" I breathed, squirming against him as his fingers dipped lower still, brushing against my clit over the top of my knickers.

"I'll do whatever you want me to do, baby," he crooned, groaning a little as my hips moved automatically against him in response to his current ministrations, my behind pressing more firmly against his hardened length.

I moaned loudly as he put more pressure against my clit, trying not to lose my head. "We don't have long, Joey. And you still need to shower." My voice was barely there, completely smothered in need.

"So join me," he suggested, the arm he still had round my waist tightening, his eyes meeting mine in the mirror again. I turned in his arms suddenly, groaning at the loss of contact to certain nether-regions as his arms slid back around my waist.

"Are you serious?" I asked, my eyes locked with his darker ones which were smouldering with lust.

"Very," he replied as I wound my arms around his neck slowly before I crushed my lips against his, unable to resist any longer.

Within minutes I found myself sandwiched between the cold tile of the shower wall and Joey's hard, warm body. I mewled from the back of my throat as our tongues battled against one another's, gasping as his strong arms lifted me by the thighs, pushing me further up the wall and causing his erection to slide teasingly against my centre as my legs closed around his waist.

"Joey," I gasped, one of his hands tangling into my now wet hair, my arms tightening around his muscular shoulders, the hot water from the shower causing my skin to move like satin over his.

His lips left mine and journeyed down my neck as my hands ran through his dripping hair, scraping my fingers against his scalp and earning a growl from him. My head fell back against the tile as he lavished attention onto my breasts, sucking my nipple into his mouth and causing my hips to buck against his. It was lucky he was pressing me so firmly against the wall because otherwise we'd both be in a heap on the floor by now.

"Joey, need more," I garbled, knowing if he carried on much longer like this I wouldn't last much longer all together; the ache deep in my stomach already becoming too much bear.

He lifted his face back up to mine, his shoulders rolling enthrallingly as he repositioned me against the wall, little beads of water running over his pale skin. He shifted slightly, leaning against me so that his body was flush against mine, my breasts pressed up against his solid chest.

"Tell me what you want me to do, Lo," he demanded, the timbre of his voice never having been more arousing, his eyes holding mine more intensely than they ever had before.

"I want you," I groaned, attempting to move my hips in order to relieve some of the tension building up in me but he was pressing against me too tightly.

"What do you want, baby?" he asked, eyes still locked with mine, hands resting at my waist, holding me still. Obviously he was going to make me say it.

"Ah," I choked as he rocked against me ever so slightly, his erection twitching against me. It was nice to know he was just as affected as me.

"Tell me," he coaxed, sounding a little more desperate himself now, his lips brushing against mine before moving back again and watching me.

_Well, two can be devious, Joseph._

I smirked a little, keeping eye contact, and tightening my arms around his shoulders as I leaned close to his ear and whispered with as much stoicism as I could muster.

"I want you to fuck me in this shower, Joey." I nipped at his ear lightly before moving away and meeting his gaze again, watching with satisfaction as my words took effect.

Before I could even breathe, his lips were on mine again, his hips shifting against mine as he aligned himself with my entrance and pushed into me in one, swift movement. We both groaned from the effect of him finally being sheathed inside me.

"Joey," I moaned into our kiss, his name tumbling from my lips without me really even realising as he led a rhythm of pulling almost all the way out before slamming back in. The effect was almost too much for me to take; each thrust driving me faster than ever to the edge.

One of his arms found one of my thighs, supporting more of my weight as we both became more and more overcome with sensation. His other hand cupped my face as his lips continued to move against mine, both of us gasping in gulps of air every now and then.

"J-Joey," I choked, not being able to hold off my orgasm much longer as his thrusts grew more frantic, creating more friction exactly where I wanted it.

"Let go, baby," Joey urged, his thumb brushing tenderly across my cheek, quite in contrast to the feral elements of the rest of our contact.

My head hit the wall once again as my climax shook through me, choking out a deep groan, my back arching away from the wall and forcing my stomach to press into Joey's rock-hard one. I felt him follow right after me, his body stilling against mine, his erection pulsing inside me, his face buried into my neck.

"Holy shit, Joey," I groaned breathlessly, releasing my numb legs from around his waist and sliding down the wall. His hands supported my waist as I attempted to steady myself, leaning back against the shower wall, my arms resting across his chest.

He grinned at me charmingly, his eyes bright, his wet hair falling further across his forehead than it does when it's dry. I'd never seen him look so attractive.

"Reckon that'll see us through 'til tomorrow?" he asked, smirking now, his hands sliding down my arms until they reached my palms, intertwining our fingers.

"Hmm," I pondered, smiling crookedly at him. "Opposite effect. I don't ever want to leave this shower."

"I like the sound of that," he mumbled, his lips pecking mine briefly again. "I'm sure we'll think of something to tell Alice."

I laughed, giving him a quick slap on the arm before dodging round him reluctantly and giving him one last, lingering kiss. "Speaking of whom, will be back any second. And, I don't know about you, but if she were to walk in on this, that would really kill my buzz."

"Fair point," Joey agreed, although he wrapped his arms around my waist again, pouting a little.

"Have an_ actual _shower, Joey," I insisted, somehow managing to force myself to step out of his embrace and out of the bath, reaching for a towel and wrapping it around myself. "If we're late I can't guarantee that my mum won't kill us."

Although after that impromptu shower sex, I don't even think my mum nagging about our lateness could dampen my mood.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

"I don't know what you're so worried about, Lauren," Alice told me as we sat down after having arrived at The Vic and done the standard introductions, or re-introductions in Alice's case. "Everyone seems really nice."

"Ah, now you can always tell someone who's never been to a Branning family dinner before," I stated knowingly. "Yep, I mean, look at you. No sense of fear, anxiety, foreboding sense of death or trauma. Rookie error, Alice."

I snickered at the disapproving but amused look on hers and Joey's faces, following my mum to the bar in order to get some drinks in. I had thought it would seem strange to be back here and act so normally, but it all just sort of clicked back in by default.

"So how comes Dad's in such a good mood then?" I asked Mum as we stood waiting to be served. "He hasn't even tried to wind me up yet."

"Well, for one, it's his birthday," Mum explained whilst giving me a stern look. "And for another, he is trying to be better, Lauren. It's good."

"It's unnerving," I replied shortly, pulling a face and receiving a light whack on the forearm. "What?! I seem to remember it was only a few weeks ago you were ringing me and saying you thought he was still hiding things from you."

Mum sighed and nodded a little, obviously trying to decide whether it was worth back-tracking a little. "Yeah, well, we talked stuff through and we're back on track again."

I gave her a disbelieving look, cocking my head to one side. I'd heard her say stuff like that too many times for me to invest in the idea.

"These things take time, Lauren," Mum continued, waving her hand in the hair dismissively. Apparently she wasn't in the mood for this conversation today. "We're doing the best we can, and that has to be good enough for now."

"Okay, okay," I conceded, holding my hands up in mock-surrender and changing the subject. "So why's the mob here then? I thought this was a _family_ dinner?" I inclined my head towards the table where Dad was sat with what seemed like the majority of the Square's male residents.

"Oh, yeah, they had a birthday football match," Mum explained, rolling her eyes. "And, of course, your dad being your dad, extended the invitation of dinner at the pub to them all."

"Extended it to dinner and a competition to drink beer until The Vic's run dry, you mean?" I snorted, watching as Alfie took another round over to them.

"With their stamina? Doubt it," Mum retorted, laughing and giving them all piteous look.

"True, not the best at handling their drink are they?" I smiled but it fell quickly as Mum's face whipped round to mine, the memory of how bad _I_ had been at handling my drink flooding back to both of us.

"Oh, darlin', you don't think it's really insensitive of me to have invited you to a pub the first time you come back here, do you?" She looked genuinely appalled at herself, and I had to laugh a little, rolling my eyes.

"Do I really come across as that pathetic?" I demanded, giving her an 'are you serious?' look. "I can still be around alcohol, Mum. I wasn't a drunk. I was just...stupid."

"You weren't stupid, darlin'," Mum said sincerely, her hand gripping mine and squeezing softly. "You were just very upset for a very long time and you didn't know how to deal with it. And I should've done more, I should've..."

"Stop, please," I interrupted her, forcing her to look me in the eye before continuing. "It wasn't anyone's fault but mine, so don't blame yourself." Mum opening her mouth to speak again but I didn't give her a chance to get a word in. "No, it _was_ my fault._ I_ chose to drink that much."

"Yes, but..." Mum tried but I cut her off again.

"No. I'm serious." It was clear from the look in her eyes that she was unwilling to let it drop still though. "I don't want to do this again right now, Mum. Can't we just agree to disagree?"

Mum pursed her lips but nodded all the same, her attention thankfully diverted by Roxy finally taking our order. It wasn't that I wanted to avoid talking about what happened as such; I just didn't want to go there right here, right now.

"Bit of a dish that cousin of yours, ain't he, eh?" Mum said unexpectedly, nudging my side as she spoke, a teasing smile on her face as she looked at me and then inclined her head towards Joey who was currently talking to Uncle Jack with Alice. Apparently the subject had done a complete one-eighty.

"Mum, seriously?" I said, squirming awkwardly whilst fraudulently grimacing. Joey was a dish and then some, but I couldn't exactly admit that to her now, could I?

"Oh, c'mon, Lauren," Mum laughed whilst paying for the drinks. "I'm only joking. It's not like I'm telling you to marry him, is it? I'm just _saying _he's very attractive for someone related to _Derek_. I mean, you can't tell me you haven't noticed those muscles."

"Oh my god," I sighed, covering my face with my hands, elbows against the bar, utterly embarrassed. I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

_Yes, Mum, I have noticed them._

_ In fact, not only have I noticed them, I've touched them, been held by them, been pressed up against a shower wall by them..._

_Don't think of that right now!_

I coughed nervously, my eyes flickering automatically over to Joey. I felt a blush creep over my cheeks as he looked up at me, obviously having sensed my gaze on him. He raised his eyebrow in question at me, a small smirk lifting his lips.

_See, if you'd just stayed at home, you could've stayed in that shower, couldn't you?_

Smirking slightly myself, because I knew if I suggested to Joey that we should just go home and continue where we left off he wouldn't put up a fight, I threw him a sly wink and then turned back to Mum, who thankfully hadn't noticed anything.

"It's a shame Joey couldn't have played football with them all before, Lauren. Now, _him_ I wouldn't mind seeing with his top off! Billy Mitchell on the other hand..." Mum muttered, giggling at my horrified expression.

"Seriously, Mum. Did you get like a _thousand_ times more embarrassing since I left, or something?" I asked her, legitimately concerned.

"Aw, bet you've missed this, eh? Being embarrassed by your old mum." She pinched my cheeks as she spoke until I stepped away from her, muttering about it being no wonder I have issues.

She continued laughing as I took mine, Alice's and Joey's drink over to the table, shaking my head and telling her to make sure she sits as far away from me as possible.

"Cheers, babe," Joey mumbled as he pulled his beer closer to him. I slid into the seat next to his and accidentally on purpose moved it so that it was closer to him than it really needed to be, but not so close that it would've looked suspicious. "What was that about?"

I rolled my eyes, shrugging out of my jacket and sighing. "Put it this way," I explained, smirking a little despite still cringing inwardly. "If you're into the whole cougar thing, you might just have an offer."

Joey looked shocked for a second before he burst into laughter, only looking a tiny smidgen uncomfortable. Typical Joey. I raised my eyebrow at him suggestively and took a long sip of my non-alcoholic summer fruits cocktail, noting with pleasure that his eyes followed the movement of my lips over the straw intensely.

He cleared his throat suddenly, his eyes dark as he leaned in close to me, his hand sneakily going to my waist, his fingers confidently brushing the slither of bare skin showing where my top had ridden up slightly, speaking so quietly that only I could hear. "Well, fortunately for you, I prefer brunettes."

I almost choked on my drink, attempting to laugh, smirk and groan at the same time. I felt my cheeks burn for the second time since we'd got here and was relieved when Alice suddenly asked me something, pulling my attention away from Joey.

The night actually ended up being fairly enjoyable on the whole. Considering the amount of Branning men sat at the table, or just Branning's in general really, everyone's tempers were pretty controlled. And no one died, which is always good.

Once everyone had eaten, the main party sort of broke up into smaller groups, me, Joey and Alice ending up sat at a booth with Whit, Tyler, Jay and Abi.

As we were sat there, me wedged comfortably between the wall and Joey, I saw Whit exchange an anxious look with Tyler for second, he eye flickering to the door behind the back of the booth. I turned my head and groaned quietly, as I recognised the bleach blonde head of my ex-best friend, Lucy.

"What the hell is she doing here?" I growled, disgusted that I had been subjected to seeing her scrawny, back-stabbing self on what had been a pretty good night.

"Who is it?" Alice asked, sounding a little shocked at my tone.

"_That_, Alice, is Lucy Beale." I grimaced when saying her name, unable to stop the influx of hatred I still felt for her. "We used to be friends until she turned into the most pathetic, jealous cow." Alice raised her eyebrow at me, nodding as she looked between me and the back of Lucy's head.

Whit snorted a little but looked at me seriously. "Don't let her get to you, yeah? She ain't worth it."

"I know, I know," I mumbled, trying to keep my emotions in check. I felt Joey nudge my left arm with his under the table, discreetly taking my hand and entwining my fingers with his larger, longer ones. The feeling of our hands being joined together, skin on skin, calmed me considerably and I threw him a grateful smile. Joey knew about everything that had happened between me and Lucy; I think he wanted me to avoid getting as upset now as I had done when I told him the story.

Having ordered a drink, Lucy turned round before freezing, her face dropping as she spotted our table, seven faces staring at her with a range of expressions on them.

I felt a thrill of secret, smug satisfaction as her eyes roved over to Joey for the first time. I knew Lucy well enough to recognise that she liked what she saw, and who wouldn't, really? And although I couldn't exactly flaunt our relationship in front of her like the scorned part of me_ really_ wanted to, I settled for taking pleasure from the fact that in taking one look at my face after she finally managed to tear her eyes away from Joey, her gaze snapped back to the bar, tail firmly between her knees.

Over the next twenty or so minutes I watched as Lucy's eyes continued to wander over to Joey every now and then, lingering over him greedily like he was her prey or something. It was embarrassing. And upsetting, if I'm honest; for the small part of me that could still appreciate how close we used to be, it wasn't pleasant to realise that Lucy still could never just be happy for me, would always want what I had. And she didn't even know I _had_ Joey.

_Maybe you should just grab him right now and kiss him senseless. Do the big reveal, as it were. It'd be fun to see her choke on her drink, and you'd get to do kiss him like you've wanted to all night._

_It'd be a win-win situation really._

Except that I wasn't quite ready to share mine and Joey's relationship with the gossipers and the judgers and the priers yet. I wanted to just keep what we had just for us for a bit longer, whilst we still could.

"Looks like you've got another fan," I mumbled bitterly under my breath to him, inclining my head in Lucy's direction whilst everyone else around us chattered happily. "Bitch."

I heard Joey snigger quietly, his thumb brushing softly over my hand, the sensation distracting me for second from my anger.

"Brunettes, remember?" Joey breathed into my ear as he leaned forwards, pretending to be simply reaching for one of my crisps as he did. I felt a smile creep onto my lips at his words, shuddering at how close he had come; he really could be charming when he wanted to be.

_Yeah, charming, and really great at impromptu booty calls. _

We decided to leave not long after Lucy's arrival, me and Alice nipping to the loo on the last minute once we'd said bye to Whit and Tyler. As we returned, arm-in-arm, I spotted that, _of course_, Lucy had jumped at the opportunity to sidle up to Joey and introduce herself.

_Slimy cow._

I caught the tail-end of Abi, in an only-just-polite tone, explaining who Joey was before me and Alice reached them. I glared at Lucy whilst forcing myself not to say anything to her as I took my jacket from Joey's outstretched hand.

"So how come I haven't seen you round here before then?" Lucy simpered, attempting to flatter him, I can only presume, with her ridiculous baby voice.

_How was I ever friends with this girl? She makes me want to vomit. Profusely. _

"Because he has higher standards than associating with the likes of _you_," I snarled. I was running on a complete intolerance for any of Lucy's bullshit from now on.

"Can't you just get over it, eh, Lauren?" Lucy sneered, the fake, butter-wouldn't-melt act being dropped. "We're supposed to be best friends."

"Get over it?" I gave her a withering look as I spoke before raising my eyebrow incredulously at Abi who looked incredibly uncomfortable; apparently I had hogged all the confrontational genes. "Is she for real?"

"Just ignore her, Lauren," Abi said, trying to shoo me in the direction of the door.

"I should slap her, not ignore her," I quipped before giving her one last repulsed glance and allowing Abi and everyone else to divert me into taking the high road and lead me outside.

Slapping her would more than likely have contaminated my hand anyway.

Abi and Jay left us half way across the Square as she was staying at his place, leaving me with just Alice and Joey. As Alice said goodbye to them both, I felt Joey's hand gently brush the base of my back, and I snuck a sneaky glance up at him, distracted from my internal fuming over Lucy's cheek.

"I love it when you're feisty, baby," Joey crooned, his lips at my ear for a mere second before they were gone, resuming a completely normal countenance, the other three around us none the wiser.

I felt my stomach clench with want again and realised dejectedly that it would be unlikely I would get to relieve that particular tension tonight, what with Alice sharing mine and Abi's room with me and Joey sleeping on the couch.

_Well, you might not have killed, or been killed by, any of your family tonight, but trying to stay away from Joey for the remainder of it might just do the job. _

_Can't have everything I guess._

**A/n**

**Not exactly your worst day when the thing that might kill you is the possibility of not being able to resist sex with Joey, is it? ;) **

**Bit of a (well, LOT of a) lighter chapter - felt it was very much needed! Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Once again, thank you so so so much for all of your lovely reviews - I appreciate every single one of them.**

**See you next time. x**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I couldn't sleep. It was as if all the agitation and the unease that I thought I should've felt yesterday when we first arrived back in Walford had all finally decided to make an appearance. I'd been tossing and turning for literally hours and I wanted nothing more than to just go downstairs, climb into Joey's arms on the sofa and let his presence soothe as it always did.

I'd barely even gotten to say goodnight to him properly, what with either Alice, Mum, Dad or Oscar always seeming to just be _around_. I'd managed to sneak him a quick but lingering kiss on the landing whilst Alice was brushing her teeth, but that had been it.

I'm not even going to lie to you, I had been worried that the issue would be that I'd be too aroused to sleep; the memory of mine and Joey's shower-related shenanigans being quite difficult to shut away in a box. However it turns out sharing a room with his sister and having your parents and younger brother in the house at the same time kind of kills the mood a _lot_.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a bit of danger, but I really didn't fancy being caught in a compromising position with a bloke, cousin or not, by my parents when I was trying to show them how much I'd grown up.

My restlessness had nothing to do with insatiability though, and I knew it. Being back in this bed, in this room, in this house had knocked me down a peg or two, reminding me perhaps a little too soon of how bad I'd actually gotten.

The memories of the drinking, and the one night stands, and the being betrayed by my boyfriend and my best friend all came flooding back to me, stronger than they had for a long while.

_You should've just slapped Lucy. I mean, really. What were you thinking? Such an opportune moment to have lost._

I rolled over and punched my pillow, imagining that it was Lucy's face. I was definitely kind of regretting trying to show I was too mature for that kind of behaviour now; I knew without a doubt that whacking her would have made me feel a lot better than I felt now.

_Maybe next time we keep that bit of the old Lauren, yeah?_

It wasn't even like I was still angry about it; I didn't really miss Lucy all that much as a friend anymore, and Iwanted to vomit at the thought of getting back with Jake. But I guess part of me just still felt a little upset and betrayed. It was only a small part, but significant all the same.

Living with Alice and Joey had helped me so much. It was hard to imagine what would've happened to me if I hadn't made the decision to leave Walford. I couldn't help but wonder, seeing how I've ended up tonight, whether if, after having my stomach pumped and receiving that all too hard-hitting reality check, I would've only ended up reverting back to my old ways sooner or later if I'd stayed here.

Having to see Lucy's sickening face every time I left the house, or having to suffer Jake following me round like a puppy and telling me we should get back together. Or having to listen to Mum and Dad argue; even though Mum had said things were good I found it very hard to believe. All of that, all the time, it was no wonder I'd ended up falling way beyond rock bottom.

I sat up, feeling a bit overemotional and sighing, annoyed with myself; I never had been good at dealing with emotions. Looking over at Alice I couldn't help but pout a little as I saw that she was fast asleep.

_Alright for some._

Deciding that enough was enough, I got up, crept across the room and slid through the door, closing it quietly behind me. I promised myself that as long as no one hears me go downstairs, and as long as I don't go and fall asleep with him, there was no reason for me not to go and see Joey for bit. What Mum and Dad don't know for now won't hurt them.

Joey was dead to the world sprawled out on the sofa, facing away from the cushions, one arm slung out of the covers. I walked over to him and crouched down for a second, watching him sleep. He looked so handsome and peaceful that I felt bad about waking him up, but I was feeling just about sorry enough for myself to be selfish.

Lifting the duvet, I nudged his arm out of the way and burrowed into his side, revelling in how ridiculously warm he always was. He shifted beside me, groaning a little, his arms automatically closing around my waist and pulling me closer against him.

"Hey, babe," Joey grumbled a bit croakily as I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck, his voice saturated with sleep. He moved further towards the back of the sofa, pulling me with him so that I was partially lying across him, my head against his t-shirt covered chest. "What's the matter? Not that I mind the visit."

I smiled a little, already feeling a bit more centered than I had done five minutes ago, snuggling against him. You'd think such a muscular, hard chest wouldn't be comfortable, but you would be _very_ wrong.

"Couldn't sleep," I mumbled, pulling the covers further up over us and tangling my legs with his, causing him to flinch a little.

"Jesus, Lo," he hissed, his hand rubbing up and down my back. "You're freezing."

"Well we can't all run at a temperature equivalent to that of a bleeding oven, can we?" I quipped, curling against him even more and giggling a little as he groaned. It probably _was _still a bit early in the year to be wearing really short shorts to bed but whatever. "Wimp."

"Wimp?" he repeated incredulously. "Says the one who cried at an advert for bread the other day."

I leaned up, my forearms against his chest, and gave him a mock-serious look. "That was a very emotional advert, I'll have you know, Joseph."

Joey rolled his eyes before leaning forward and kissing me, his lips moving softly against mine, his hands at my waist.

"So, why couldn't you sleep, then?" he asked me after we'd pulled apart, my head falling back onto his chest and my eyes closing.

"It's just being back here, ain't it?" I sighed, my fingers fiddling with the hem of the sleeve of his t-shirt.

"Too much?" It was a question but it sounded more like a statement, his tone understanding; I'd told him that very first night we met about the trouble I'd had sleeping here after everything that had happened.

"A bit," I agreed, squirming a little as his warm fingers suddenly found their way under my vest top, trailing up and down my spine slowly. "Joey?" I said after a minute of comfortable silence.

"Yeah?" he replied heavily, sounding like he was falling back to sleep.

"If you keep doing that with your hand I'm gonna want to do more than just _talk_ to you to take my mind off stuff," I explained, wriggling against him again as his fingers continued their voyage over my skin, leaving a trail of tingles as they went.

He laughed under his breath, stopping his ministrations but not removing his hand from underneath my top, simply splaying his palm across my lower back.

"Babe, I told you before, I'm up for the challenge," he said, completely casual.

"Yeah, I noticed," I retorted cheekily, shifting my thigh over the undeniable bulge in his boxers. In all fairness, I _had_ climbed practically on top of him, in very little clothing, and proceeded to squirm constantly for a good while.

_How rude of me._

I felt Joey shift underneath me, flipping us around so that he was hovering over me, his eyes dark, his arms resting on either side of me.

"Tease," he breathed, his lips pressing a kiss just underneath my jaw. "I thought we were going to be good and not do anything here in case we get caught."

"Exactly," I concurred, my arms snaking round his neck and bringing his lips back down to mine. "So we better be quick then."

I realised I'd done a complete U-turn on my previous inclinations, but, we were here now and, as always seems to be the case when it comes to Joey, I was suddenly much more tempted by the idea of throwing caution to the wind. And if that caution came in the form of sex on the sofa, so be it.

Joey watched me for a moment, clearly trying to decide if I was being serious. I ran my fingers through his hair, liking that it was slightly dishevelled from where he had been sleeping on it. I captured his lips with mine again, attempting to translate just how serious I was into the kiss, rolling my hips mischievously against his.

"You're a bad influence, Lauren Branning," Joey growled, his lips descending to my neck, my eyes rolling back as he sucked on the sweet spot just below my ear.

"Oh yeah, 'cause you're just an _angel_, ain't you?" I choked as one of his hands cupped one of my breasts firmly above my top, my nipple puckering under the fabric, much to his delight.

Joey grinned at me deviously, turning on the full smouldering charm as he pecked one last stomach-clenching kiss to my lips before proceeding to show me just how much he is _definitely_ not an angel.

_For future reference, though, he may be no angel, but he is exceptional at taking your mind off stuff._

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I couldn't remember exactly how I had ended up back in my own bed, but I guess it wasn't really important _how_ it happened; it was just good that it had. I had a vague impression of being carried upstairs by Joey but I wasn't sure if I'd just dreamt that or not. Being tired and post-coital apparently turned my brain into a sieve.

Judging from the sound of voices and plates and cutlery issuing from downstairs, it sounded like everyone was up apart from me. I sat up, throwing the covers off me haphazardly, and picked up my phone having noticed it was flashing.

_Just so you know, if you sit next to me on that sofa today I won't be held responsible for my actions. _

_J. X_

I stifled a cackle, smirking at my phone as I typed back a message asking him if that was a challenge or not.

"Something funny?" Alice asked brightly as she entered the room, fully dressed, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

"Oh, no, not really," I muttered sleepily, hoping my cheeks hadn't gone pink. I threw my phone down onto my bed and flopped back down onto my pillows, groaning as Alice opened the curtains, effectively blinding me.

_Urgh. These damned morning people._

"Your mum would like you downstairs in the next thirty minutes or there will be consequences, her words not mine," Alice told me cheerfully, clearly enjoying that it annoyed my mum as much as it did her that I didn't like getting up early.

"What time is it anyway?" I asked her, my arms over my eyes.

"Almost half-eleven," she replied before throwing some clothes down onto my bed.

"It's _Sunday_, Al," I whinged, pouting a little. "It's acceptable, no, it is _normal_, to sleep all day if you wish to on a Sunday."

"That's only normal in _your_ world, Lauren," she replied, laughing a little.

"Yes, well, how do you know my world isn't the normal one?" I questioned her, rolling onto my side and bringing the pillow over my head to block out the light.

"C'mon, even _Joey's_ awake," she prompted, trying to pull the pillow away from my face.

"I am _awake_, I just don't _want_ to be, there's a difference." Besides, I knew Joey would only be up because he was on the sofa and by now Oscar would have wanted the TV on in the living room. If he was in his own bed in his own house, there was not a chance in hell he'd be awake yet.

After several more minutes of fighting a losing battle, Alice managed to persuade me to get up, have a shower, get dressed and go downstairs. I entered the kitchen to find that Mum had managed to coerce Alice and Joey into us staying for Sunday dinner before we left.

"Oh, good morning, nice of you to join us," Mum said as I sat down at the table next to Joey, Alice sitting on my other side. I made a point not to look directly at Joey for fear that I would either start laughing, blushing, or just confessing to everything. I could feel his eyes on me though and it was making me squirmy again.

"It's afternoon now, I think you'll find," I quipped in response to Mum, inclining my head towards the clock on the wall.

"Yes, very clever," Mum muttered sarcastically. "I hardly ever see you now and when you _are_ here you spend most of the day in bed!"

I rolled my eyes, sighing, before raising my eyebrow at her as she pushed a big dish of potatoes towards me along with a knife.

"Are you serious?" I deadpanned. "I come _all_ the way home to see you and all the time you really just wanted me to help chop vegetables?"

"Oi, Madam," Dad said, giving me a stern look. "Less of the cheek."

"I'll help you, Tanya," Alice offered, pulling the dish towards her and starting to chop. Had it been anyone else I'd have been irritated, but Alice was just too nice and too scary when she wanted to be for me to be angry with her.

Just as I was about to give in and say I'd help, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I had a message from Joey which simply read 'Yes'. Apparently I had just been challenged to more sofa-related antics.

I turned to face him at last, my eyebrows raised, utilising all my strength to keep a straight face as I met his gaze. He smirked at me as he noticed my blushing, despite my efforts.

I looked away from him quickly and joined Alice probably a little over-enthusiastically for me in chopping the potatoes for want of something to keep my mind and eyes away from Joey.

"So go on then, fill me in," Joey said conversationally after a few minutes of silence, leaning back in his chair, his knee just barely brushing mine under the table. "Who's the first to kick off?"

"My dad," I grumbled, receiving an eye roll from Mum and a nonchalant shrug from Dad. "Usually followed by Uncle Jack, and then it just snowballs from there."

"You mean _you're_ not the first to go, eh? Miss Drama Queen?" Joey feigned shock and earned a snigger from my dad.

"Nah, that's just her normal personality," Dad chimed in. "You'll get used to it, don't worry."

"Oh, yeah, hilarious," I replied, before brandishing the knife a little across the table between Dad and Joey. "Erm, how come you two just get to sit and do nothing while the rest of us are being forced to chop or peel or whatever the hell else Mum's got in store for us all?"

"It's woman's work, ain't it," Joey replied, shrugging as he downed the last of his tea, placing the mug down on the table loudly. "And, whenever I _do_ try to help, I'm always told I'm doing it wrong, so may as well leave it to the experts," he concluded smoothly.

"Huh, he's definitely a Branning, ain't he?" Dad remarked, clapping Joey on the back as he got up and took two beers out of the fridge, handing one of them to Joey. It seemed like some kind of bromance had just been formed.

_Not so sure he'd like him so much if he knew what we'd been up to last night._

"Funny you should say that, Joey," I began, smirking a little at the direction I was going in. "Because _Alice_ told me you're actually quite a good cook."

"Did she now?" he replied, giving Alice a look as if to dare her to back that information up.

"Don't be so modest, Joey," Alice said before I could even reply, her tone amused. She pushed a dish of carrots towards him and passed him the knife she'd finished using. "In fact, why don't you just take over everything, Joe? Show _us_ how it's done."

Sensing defeat, Joey, and, shockingly enough, Dad too started to help chop the vegetables, causing me, Mum and Alice to start laughing.

"Whipped, eh?" Dad muttered to Joey, rolling his eyes. Joey raised his eyes to mine for just a second, his gaze intense.

"Apparently so," he muttered, a very small smile on his lips, before dropping my gaze. I felt my heart skip a beat and tried not to get too outwardly flustered, recommencing my chopping.

I just happened to look up at Alice as I reached for another potato, only to notice her eyeing me and Joey somewhat suspiciously. I raised my eyebrow at her and she sort of shook herself out of her reverie, throwing me a quick smile before starting to clear away some peelings, a small frown covering creasing her forehead.

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We managed to get through the rest of the day without any more suspicious glances from Alice, and by the time we were ready to leave I was convinced we had thrown her off the scent completely.

Unfortunately, as much as I'd wanted to, I hadn't risen to Joey's challenge, thinking it was probably for the best to be one hundred and ten percent appropriate and normal for the rest of the day.

We were just saying out goodbyes to my parents when the doorbell rang.

"Can you get that please, Abs?" Dad called to Abi, rolling his eyes at her standard huffing and puffing over nobody else ever answering the door in this house. Which she did have a point about, really.

"What are you doing here?" I heard Abi say, sounding a little bit uneasy. "This isn't really a good time. We've got family round."

"I only came to drop some stuff off, don't worry." I felt my spine straighten up instantly upon hearing that voice; knowing straight away, without needing to _see_ who it was to _know_ who was at the door. "It's the stuff Lauren left at mine."

I saw Joey throw me a concerned look from the other side of the room; he had obviously made the connection too. Joey had only met Jake the once, but I'm pretty sure he had angered him enough that he wouldn't forget him any time soon. And after last night's conversation, I think Joey was worried I would get upset again.

"Well, you can just give me the bag, you don't need to go in," Abi said, flustered now but clearly not being listened to as more than one set of footsteps sounded towards the living room.

"Alright?" I turned my face away from Jake as he entered the room; not wanting to see or hear him. A huge wave of the unease I had felt last night washed over me once more, my good mood from the majority of the day gone.

"Listen, Jake," Dad began, trying to diffuse the awkward tension that had descended upon the room. "It's good of you bring the stuff round and everything, but we're just in middle of something."

I could tell Dad was masking his irritation and anger at Jake but part of me just sort of wanted everything to kick off. Jake deserved it.

"Family gathering, is it?" Jake asked smarmily as he put the bag down on the table.

_Oh just shut it, you arsehole. Before I shut it for you. I didn't get to hit Lucy but I'll certainly settle for you instead._

"Yes, actually," Dad replied, his temper sounding a little less controlled now. "Lauren's just about to leave with my niece and nephew, so if you don't mind..." Dad gestured towards the door, almost herding Jake out.

"Niece and _nephew_, eh?" It was only as he put emphasis on the word nephew that I realised why he was being an extra special dick.

When Jake had met Joey, I _definitely_ hadn't introduced him as my cousin.

_Shit shit shit._

My eyes snapped up to Jake's, desperately scrambling for some way to divert the situation, or just abort it altogether. I watched as he raised his eyebrow at me, a very unattractive smirk turning up his mouth.

It was as I looked at him properly for the first time since he'd walked in that something finally clicked into place in the back of my mind. I just about managed to stifle a gasp, my stomach feeling like it was about to leap into my mouth.

Because, yes, we had an issue that Jake had been under the impression that Joey was my boyfriend, not my cousin, and could throw the shit at the fan any second now.

But, above and beyond that, looking at Jake's gloating, nasty face, I had just worked out why Sean had looked so familiar.

**A/n**

**Duff duff duff...**

**Firstly, I apologise for the longer-than-usual wait; I had the second of four horrendous exams this week, so revision overtook writing. Hopefully it was worth the wait though!**

**Secondly, thank you so much, as always, for all of your support for this story. I tried to reply to all the reviews but if I missed any, thank you! Reading them has made me smile on days when I've wanted to punch the screen of my laptop (as well as Lucy Beale).**

**Isn't EE just so upsetting atm?! They're just breaking my heart. :( Such amazing acting though.**

**Until next time. x**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/n**

**Just a quick note to say if you missed Chapter 15 because of the problem with email notifications last week, you might want to go back and read that one first! **

Chapter 16

Now that I had made the connection between Sean and Jake it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world. When I had been with Jake I had never met any of his family, so it wasn't as if I had seen them together and just forgotten. He had also made a point of not really mentioning much about his family, to the point where it was almost as if they didn't exist. Having been in such a dark place at the time, I didn't really think anything was strange about this myself, just accepting it for what it was.

But the resemblance, now that I had seen it, was actually quite striking; they were undoubtedly father and son, in looks as well as personality. It wasn't that they looked identical, because obviously then I would've figured it out immediately. It was just little things, small similarities which linked them together; the slightly tilted brow, the thin mouth, the light blue eyes. It was subtle at first, but the more I stared at Jake, the more I saw a younger, slightly distorted version of Sean in front of me.

In a very small amount of time, my mind whirled through my short relationship with Jake, and the two times I had been unfortunate enough to meet Sean, and the more I thought about it, the more obvious it all became, small ends tying together neatly.

I almost wanted to laugh at the irony of them both having driven me to insomnia at one point or another, whether it be from hurt, anger, or fear, both having a habit of cropping up unexpectedly and stirring up trouble from the past, and both having grabbed my arm in the exact same place and threatened me in the exact same way.

Subconsciously my hand went to my arm, absently rubbing the spot where they had both bruised the skin. It really felt like it shouldn't have taken me so long to work it all out. It really felt like it was just typical really, for me.

It really felt like I was going to be sick.

"Lo?" Joey said, moving closer to me and placing a hand on my shoulder as I swayed slightly, his other hand hovering in front of me, clearly anticipating having to catch me if I was to faint.

"You alright, darlin'?" I heard Mum say, concern in her voice. I nodded slightly, breathing deeply and trying to stave off the nausea. Joey's hand slid to the back of my neck, sweeping my hair sideways as his long fingers gently massaged my skin, effectively calming me down.

I wasn't sure if Joey had reached the same point I had with realising exactly who Jake was and what he knew about us, but it was a brave move anyway, considering my family were in the room too. At this point though, I almost didn't care. If Jake was to tell them all, it's not like I would deny it, was it? I mean, they were only going to find out at some point anyway.

_Preferably not like this though._

"Right, c'mon," Dad said, recommencing his attempt of ushering of Jake out of the living room. "Like I said, now's not a good time and you've overstayed your welcome."

I watched as, almost in slow-motion, Jake made his way to the door, the look on his face making it perfectly clear that he was having a very hard time deciding whether or not he wanted to out me and Joey to my parents or not.

I met his eyes as boldly as I could, some of the anger and irritation I had felt from only moments ago returning with vengeance. I honestly wasn't sure whether I was daring him to just tell them; scared of what he would do with the information if he didn't reveal it here and now.

In terms of Jake's relationship with his dad, I was completely clueless. There was a fairly good chance that Joey would mean nothing to Jake, that he would have no idea of how significant a part Sean had played in Joey's childhood. If that was the case, and if indeed him and his dad were on speaking terms, then he may not even think to mention specifics, or even mention it altogether.

However, I was worried that, if he did know, or if he did share this information with Sean, whether maliciously or not, he would just_ love_ to find out that he now had another thing to hold against Joey or threaten us with. He might have backed off for now, but I had no doubt that someone like him wouldn't be able to resist trying to regain the upper hand with this.

Clearly making his mind up, Jake sniggered at me as he made the doorway, looking more than ever like Sean.

"I'll be in touch then," he told me, his tone and the smug look on his face suggesting that I should be thanking him or something for not dishing the dirt on me and Joey. I raised my eyebrow at him, slightly shocked although not really surprised that he had decided to try and drag this out a bit. Just as I was about to reply, my lips curled in distaste, Joey beat me to it.

"Don't bother," he snarled in tone I had only heard once before when we had seen Sean outside the pub.

"Joey!" Alice said, clearly taken aback by the way Joey was acting. As far as she was aware, Jake was a mere stranger to Joey, and therefore his reaction undoubtedly made her think he was just being irrationally rude. I also noticed her eyes lingering on Joey's hand which was still at the back of my neck, the suspicious look in her eyes from earlier on in the day returning.

Jake threw me one last gloating look before he let Dad finally coax him, just about managing not to just shove him, into the hallway and out of the front door. I felt a belated wave of apprehension as we heard the front door close, wishing that Alice hadn't just said Joey's name in front of Jake; at least before, as far as I was aware, he hadn't known it, and so, if he ever did mention all of this to Sean, there would be a slightly smaller chance of him linking the dots to us.

I looked up at Joey and smiled weakly at the concern in his eyes, shaking my head ever so slightly as if to let him know that I would talk to him later. His hand dropped from my neck at last and I shivered minutely, already missing the feeling of him comforting me.

Mum walked towards me and stroked my cheek softly, a sad smile on her face. "And to think we almost made it the whole time you were here without any drama relating to him cropping up, eh?" She was probably worried something like this would've happened and that I'd be put off from ever coming back again. "I'm sorry, darlin'."

"Not your fault he turned up is it?" I appeased her, sighing.

_You really know how to pick 'em, don't you, eh?_

I sped up our departure after that, wanting to leave Walford as quickly as possible; convinced that I would never be able to come here and not end up in some sort of trouble. I didn't know what Jake was going to do next, but there was nothing I could do about it for now. All I knew was that I just didn't want to be _here_.

As we left, I saw Dad clap Joey on the back, telling him to look after me. Apparently Joey's defence of me against Jake had only further strengthened the bond they seemed to have forged over the last twenty-four hours. I found myself wondering for the second time that day, half amused, half terrified, just how different his opinion on Joey would be if he knew the truth about us.

_Let's not even go there right now, yeah? _

Dad kissed the top of my head before lifting my chin and telling me not to let Jake get to me. Seeing me in that hospital bed all those months ago had seemed to upset Dad more than anyone, and I knew that, despite his clear effort at being civil with Jake, he was still angry about what had happened. I think, at the end of the day, Dad blamed himself more than Jake, what with all the affairs and the lies over the last few years, but I know he resented Jake for being the straw that broke the camel's back.

"It's been lovely seeing you, Lauren," Mum said, kissing my cheek and hugging me tightly as Joey and Dad put our bags in the car.

"Yeah, you too," I agreed, meaning it. Me and Mum might have had our differences over the past year or so, but she would always be my best friend.

"And I wasn't too embarrassing was I, eh?" She winked at me and I had to laugh, relieved that the separation hadn't made our relationship awkward by any means.

"You're always embarrassing, Mum, but that's okay, I forgive you," I replied cheekily, internally wishing I could move on from Jake's impromptu visit as swiftly as she appeared to have done.

"Call me if you want to talk. I know you like to be strong and pretend that nothing bothers you, but it's okay to be upset about things, darlin'." I nodded in response, waving as I followed Alice down to the car.

_I wasn't sure a phone call to my Mum could help me out of this situation though. _

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The whole journey home, Alice quizzed me on who Jake was, apparently not liking that she was considerably more out of the loop than her brother. And so, when we got home, I ended up finally filling in the gaps of the story that I had only half told her before I came to live with her and Joey.

I told her properly about Jake, about Lucy, the binge drinking, the one night stands, the night it all fell to pieces and I ended up having my stomach pumped. And although it wasn't the best circumstances under which to tell her about all the things I'd done that I very much wasn't proud of, it did feel like such a weight off my shoulders to have finally opened up to her.

In the end, I couldn't quite remember why I'd been so scared of telling her. She hadn't judged me or made me feel pathetic, even though she had every right to. She didn't even seem to take offense to the fact that I had felt more comfortable talking to Joey than to her.

The only thing, of course, that I didn't share with her was how Joey fit into the scheme of things. I didn't mention what had happened on her birthday between me, Jake and Joey. And obviously I didn't mention the Sean fiasco; not only had I not talked to Joey about it yet, but Alice supposedly still didn't know anything about Sean and I certainly didn't want be the one to open _that_ can of worms.

It wasn't until later that night, after Alice had gone to bed, that I managed to get a chance to talk to Joey about what I had worked out. I'd been sat on my windowsill for ages, staring blankly out of the window when I heard Joey softly open my bedroom door, creeping into the room.

"Hey," he said quietly, watching me carefully as I stood up and made my way over to him. I stopped just before him, measuring his gaze, relieved that we were finally alone, before moving into his arms and snuggling against him. I didn't want to talk just yet; I just wanted him to hold me.

As if reading my mind, Joey wrapped his arms around me tightly, holding me close against him without question. I nuzzled my face against his t-shirt covered chest, shivering gratefully as his warmth surrounded me.

Joey rested his chin atop of my head, his hand slowly brushing up and down my back every now and then, clearly sensing that I just needed a minute to be close to him. I closed my eyes, leaning against him heavily as I listened to his heartbeat thump steadily under my ear.

_How can moments as simple and as natural as this happen whilst everything else is so chaotic and complicated._

After another minute, Joey leaned his head down to mine, his lips pressing a kiss to my forehead softly.

"You okay?" he asked finally. I looked up at him to find him watching me with the same confused, concerned look from before.

"I worked it out," I began to explain, my voice stronger than I expected it to be. It was almost as though I'd gone from being upset to utterly unsurprised. I should've been used to drama like this by now.

"Worked what out?" he prodded, his hands moving along my back again.

"Why Sean looked familiar." I felt Joey stiffen a little as I said his name, his arms closing infinitesimally tighter around me, his protective side kicking in. It didn't take long for the revelation to dawn on him once I'd mentioned Sean; the pieces clicking into place.

"Jake," he growled, comprehension clear in his eyes. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?" he contemplated bitterly after a moment, a sad tone to his voice behind the anger.

Whilst this was true in Jake's case, it certainly wasn't in Joey's. I looked up at him, my arms curling around his shoulders rather than around his waist, staring straight into his hazel eyes and imploring him to see that this didn't mean he would end up like Derek.

"If that was true for everyone I wouldn't be here, Joe." Despite my words, his countenance didn't soften, the poisonous thought of him being anything like his dad eating away at him once more.

I reached up and gripped his handsome face in my hands, resting my forehead against his as his hands came to rest on my sides.

"Do you even have any idea how much you mean to me, Joey?" I whispered, scared of the words I was saying, but feeling that I couldn't keep them locked up inside me. "I've literally never met anyone like you. I've never felt so comfortable with anyone, felt so safe with anyone, felt so attracted to anyone."

I smirked slightly on the last part of my list, kissing his lips briefly before pulling away and looking at him, meeting his gaze which was burning into mine.

"Last night, when I was upset, it was_ you_ who made me feel better. It's always you who makes me feel better. When we were in that club, it was_ you_ who saved me from Jake." His hands gripped my waist as I mentioned Jake again and I felt a small smile creep onto my lips despite the situation. "And when I first got here, it was _you_ who stopped me from feeling like I was falling through life and was never going to stop falling."

I breathed deeply before continuing, pleased that I seemed to be breaking through some of the ice that had fast glazed over inside him.

"And, Joey, you have no idea how much it kills me that I might have just made this situation with Sean a thousand times worse because of Jake." These words were the hardest to say because they led me to the conclusion that I could never blame Joey if he decided he now wanted out of this relationship.

The idea of the boy who never falls for anyone risking everything on such a controversial relationship seemed just too good to be true for me.

Joey's hands came to my cheeks, holding my head firmly, his eyes suddenly smouldering with emotion. "Don't ever blame yourself for anything to do with Sean," he insisted, his voice rich with sincerity. "You know for a fact that Jake being his son is barely the tip of the iceberg."

I nodded, leaning my face into his warm palms, tears forming in the corner of my eyes. "I'm just scared, Joey."

And it was true. I was scared of what Jake was going to do, scared of what Sean was going to do, scared of what would happen when people found out about us, scared that Joey was going to change his mind on us and leave like everyone else always does, scared that I would crack under the pressure.

Joey slowly tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his finger stroking gently over my cheek as he did so. "I'd tell you you've got nothing to be scared of, but I can't guarantee that," he murmured, his eyes never leaving mine. "But I can guarantee that I can look after you, Lo."

I swallowed audibly, a tear finally breaking free as I blinked, feeling it slide down my face before Joey brushed it away with the pad of his thumb. "I know you can." I felt my throat close up as I spoke, my head warring with my heart. "But wouldn't you rather just have a relationship where there's less drama?"

Joey froze for a second and I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I felt like I'd just offered him my heart on a plate and I was scared that this was moment at which he was going to decide to run.

Brushing more tears away as they fell from my eyes, Joey shook his head very slightly, a small frown creasing his forehead, his eyes more intense than ever.

"No," he said after a long pause, his voice thick with emotion. He looked away for a second, appearing to be collecting himself, before looking back at me, that same intense, almost shy look in his eyes I had seen at the table earlier in the day when he had agreed with Dad about being whipped. "I don't want anyone else. Because..."

He trailed off and I felt as though my heart was about to beat right through my chest, my eyes wide and fixed onto his own. He moved his face closer to mine, his nose brushing against mine, his lips gently skimming over mine.

"I love you," he whispered, so quietly I wondered at first if I'd just imagined it. I inhaled sharply, my fingers running numbly through the short hair at the back of his neck.

"What?" I said, timid surprise in my voice, my stomach doing somersaults. He leaned back slightly and looked me straight in the eye, his lips turned up a little bit.

"I love you," he repeated, stronger this time, and definitely not made up by my imagination. It took me a second to let his words sink in before I crushed my lips against his, my pulse racing, a thousand and one emotions coursing through me at the same time.

Joey's arms wound around my waist again, pulling me flush against him as his lips worked against mine, both of us fast getting caught up in our own little moment.

All the time making sure to be as quiet as possible, we ended up in my bed, clothes a thing of the past, Joey's powerful body braced over mine, our limbs entangled as we began to move together, tender kisses muffling the moans issuing from our mouths.

My fingers scraped down Joey's back as we found a slow, intense pace. There was no desperation this time; it was a slow burn, our connection seeming more intense than ever.

Joey entwined his fingers with mine, my arms stretched on the pillow above my head, his lips capturing my own again as I reached my climax, my orgasm washing through me, my body writhing beneath his. I felt Joey follow me straight over the edge, groaning deeply, pulling his lips from mine and burying his face into my chest as his body stilled over mine.

We lay for a while, catching our breath, Joey's body half laying across mine, pressing me down into the mattress. Despite everything that had happened today, all the unknowns that remained unknown, and the new unknowns that has appeared, I felt a heart-warming sense of contentment, lying here with Joey.

Disengaging my fingers with his, I wound my arms around Joey's shoulders, hugging him against me as I felt sleep creep up on my brain, exhaustion setting in.

"Joey?" I said after a moment, my voice heavy with sleep. Joey grunted in response, apparently almost asleep himself, his head shifting slightly against my chest, his lips pressing a chaste kiss to my naked skin. I traced my fingers over his muscular shoulders lazily before finding the words I wanted. "I love you too."

I forced my eyes to open and look down at him from my raised up perch on the pillows as I felt him glance up at me. And, honestly, how I didn't melt from the look in his eyes, I will never, ever know.

He pressed a final kiss to my skin before laying his head back down onto my chest, nuzzling against me slightly.

I had no idea what drama was in store for us in the near future, but, for now at least, we could ignore the outside world for just a bit longer.

_After all, what is it they say? It's not the fall that matters, it's the landing._

**A/n**

**N'aww. So they both dropped the 'I love you' bomb and I left you with no cliffhanger this time - aren't I lovely? ;) Let's not get too comfortable though, eh?**

**Once again, sorry about the very long wait. Give me 2 more weeks and then my exams will be over and I'll be able to write much quicker again. Thank you for being patient in the meantime. **

**Thank you also for all of your lovely reviews! They literally make my day. :)**

**See you next time. x**

**ps. just seen the spoilers for Lauren punching Lucy. YOU GO, GURL.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Over the next few weeks I heard nothing from Jake. I wasn't surprised in the slightest; he would definitely want to save this information in order to reveal it or use it against me at the most opportune moment. It was probably just taking him this long to actually manage to get a cunning thought out of his thick head.

I wasn't naive enough to think that he wouldn't bring me and Joey up again, even if it had been a while now. Taking into account his reaction at the house and his blind persistence that we should get back together in the club, I had no doubt that he would try and continue to make life difficult for me.

Of course, this wasn't even taking Sean into account. God knows how difficult _he_ would make life for me and Joey if he ever found out.

All of these grey areas had led me and Joey to continuously arrive back at the conversation of 'shall we just tell everyone?' It was the issue we had been not necessarily avoiding, because we had discussed it before, but which we were both clearly not a hundred percent comfortable with.

On the one hand, if Jake's, or Sean's, plan was indeed to try to blackmail me and Joey with telling everyone about our relationship, then the information coming from us first would certainly steal their fire on that front.

As well as this, it would mean no more hiding our relationship, which, on top of us not really wanting to do it, was becoming harder and harder to do. Alice, for one, seemed to be constantly hawk-like around us, me especially, even though we had really tried to be much more careful around her. My mum, for another, had got it in her head that there _must_ be a boy to thank for my complete change in behaviour, and took every opportunity to quiz me about my love-life. And with both of them being absolutely on the money, it was starting to irritate me that I couldn't just tell them everything.

_Maybe not everything. Not sure Alice, or your mum for that matter, would want to hear about yours and Joey's kitchen-related escapades the other night when she was at her mum's._

_Yeah, I can just image how that would go. Oh, Alice, did I mention me and your brother are shacking up? We've been together for a while now and it's going really well; the other night he even licked melted chocolate off my boobs. Have a good day though, eh? _

_Ahem. Yes, some things really should just remain between me, Joey and the, err...kitchen table._

Getting back to my original point though, simply getting it over with and telling everyone seemed like it would be the best option. They had to find out at some point anyway, didn't they? Better coming from the horse's mouth than from Jake or Sean.

The problem was though, that we were both worried that it wouldn't make any difference, to Sean especially, whether or not everyone already knew our secret for him to try and blackmail us or threaten us.

Beyond that, we were worried about the reaction of our family, who would understandably be shocked. The main concern was that our relationship would be different once everyone found out. It was all well and good saying that we would just have to give them all time to understand the circumstances and show them how good we were together. Our relationship was controversial, yes. But if they understood the specifics, the fact that we didn't grow up together, the fact that we didn't even know each other, the fact that we just fell in love like everyone else does, blindly and incomprehensibly quickly , then maybe we could convince them. But I imagined it was going to be difficult to convince people that a relationship wasn't doomed when, even in secret, society had already classed it as doomed.

On his part, Joey was worried that if the reaction was really bad it would send me back a thousand steps on the whole 'being strong enough to deal with things without alcohol' front. And_ I_ was worried that, despite him assuring me otherwise, Joey would get cold feet once people started sticking their ores in. And I really wasn't sure if I could handle that. I couldn't even really think it over; it was too painful to go over the worse case scenario. Joey was the main reason I had been able to find myself again, get some of my strength back, and I was terrified that if he were to leave me, pull the plug on what we had, I wouldn't be strong enough to pick myself back up again.

I was in so deep, and yet I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I didn't want out, obviously; I just didn't want to sink.

So, yes. We were constantly on edge as to whether or not, or more like if and when, Jake or Sean would crop back up in our lives again, as well as constantly battling the decision to tell everyone or to leave it a bit longer.

The good thing was though, that it hadn't strained our relationship so far, which I was taking as a good thing. Rather than the whole situation making things awkward between us, our relationship seemed stronger than ever; I was internally clinging to the hope that this strength would hold when everything did inevitably kick-off.

We were getting an uncommon morning lie-in today. Alice had stayed at her mum's again last night and Joey wasn't working till tomorrow, so we both had been able to sleep-in without fear of Alice finding us, or being interrupted by work.

He was normally either out of bed before me for work, or we would be both asleep at the same time, so it was a nice change to be the first one up for once. I'd been awake for about fifteen minutes, my head resting on Joey's chest, simply enjoying the moment, and eying up his muscles.

_Judge all you want, as if you wouldn't too._

I shifted slightly, leaning up a bit, being careful not to wake him as I leaned my chin softly against his solid chest. Either me or Joey had obviously thrown the covers off of us last night because they were all bundled up at our waists, our top halves uncovered, and I definitely remembered snuggling under them before we fell asleep. Lying across Joey's warm skin however was like being draped across the sun sometimes, so clearly the duvet had been deemed not-needed.

I couldn't help but smile a little as his head twitched slightly on the pillow, leaning towards the left, his fingers clenching where they rested on my back, his arm curling a little more tightly around me before relaxing again. He looked so young and carefree and handsome when he was asleep; it made me fall for him a little harder every time.

I said our relationship hadn't been strained, and that was true. But Joey had been extra-specially stuck in protective mode since the day Jake had found everything out. He was worried that Jake would come after me to hurt me, whether mentally or physically, or that Sean would come after me to hurt _him_.

Either way, he'd been a lot more determined to mark his territory with me recently. Whether it be by checking up on me more, me wearing his hoodie's outside, or him slinging his arm closely over my shoulders or round my waist when we were out, or even inside, and away from the eyes of Alice or anyone else in front of whom we were still hiding our relationship from.

Not that I was complaining; I liked the best of both worlds in this sense. Thanks to Uncle Jack, I knew how to pack a good punch and look after myself to a certain extent, but I also liked the idea that Joey could, and wanted to, look after me.

And really, his protectiveness was a big turn on more often than not. I wasn't one to be a kept cavewoman, but when your caveman's as hot as mine, compromise isn't such a bad thing. Just saying.

And really, not to sound like a possessive girlfriend but, at the end of the day, I was in charge and he knew it.

I felt Joey shift suddenly beneath me, groaning a little, his fingers trailing up my spine sensuously.

"Stop staring at me, you creep," he mumbled sleepily without even out opening his eyes, his lips slightly pouted.

"How'd you know I was staring at you?" I quipped back, moving closer and pecking his lips with mine. "I could've been looking at you and thinking how ugly your face is."

He chuckled, the sound rumbling deeply in his chest, before he slowly flipped us over, his eyes finally open, his face hovering over mine, eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Ugly but interesting, though, yeah?" he replied, dimples adorably appearing on his face as he smirked crookedly at me. "And I know you were staring at me because you love it," he explained, his lips capturing mine once more, his tongue begging for entrance into my mouth.

"How very bigheaded of you," I remarked once our lips parted, each of us a little breathless. I ran my fingers through his sleep–tousled hair, trying not to melt under the power of his smirk. He grinned at me, brushing his nose against mine.

"Hey," he said after a second, shifting his weight on his forearms as he put more down onto me, his crotch pressing against mine teasingly.

"Hey yourself." I attempted an equally teasing tone but it came out more like a moan.

_Why does this boy have such an effect on me? _

"Do you realise we get to spend the whole day in bed together today?" I said, my hands sliding down his sides, enjoying the feeling of his muscles rippling under my touch.

"Yep," he agreed, one of his hands reaching for mine and entwining our fingers together. I don't know why this movement always seemed to provoke such a reaction from me; it was so simple and innocent and yet it sent sensations to parts of me that definitely weren't so innocent. "We're not gonna do that though, are we, eh?"

"What?" I replied, looking up at him, shocked. Joey Branning turning down a day in bed? With me? That definitely wasn't right.

"You really want to waste a day we get to ourselves in bed?" he asked, his fingers squeezing mine.

"Are actually asking me that question?" I gave him a look that clearly suggested how ridiculous it was to even think for a second that I wouldn't want to do that. "And, excuse me. _Waste_?!"

Joey laughed, kissing me briefly and distracting me for a second before pulling away. "I didn't mean it like that, babe. I just thought we could go out somewhere."

I pondered over that idea for a moment, my fingers tracing over the ridges of his biceps. "You mean like a date?" I asked after a beat, feeling strangely shy under his gaze. I wasn't used to _this_ part of relationships.

"If you want to put a label on it, sure," Joey said, smiling still, his tone gentle. "I thought we could go to that place you were talking about the other day when you were saying it always gives you inspiration to draw."

I felt my heart skip a beat. I could deal with Joey when he was being arrogant, teasing, even when he was being a difficult prat. But I still hadn't quite got used to the sheer force of him being so thoughtful and even romantic. I'm not saying he hasn't always been romantic and thoughtful underneath his rough-around-the-edges front, because he has. But there are different levels, and just recently it had got a whole lot serious and I just _wasn't_ used to it.

I wasn't used to being looked after so much. I wasn't used to someone _caring_ so much, if you want the honest truth.

"You remembered that?" I asked, unable to mask the surprise in my voice.

"You don't have to sound so surprised, Lo," Joey retorted. He would've sounded offended if it hadn't been for the laugh behind his words.

"Sorry," I mumbled, smiling now as I leaned up and pecked his lips.

"So? Do you want to go?" he repeated, his eyes revealing that he was a bit shy himself now.

I nodded at him, pulling my hand out of his as I wrapped my arms round his shoulders, whispering a thank you in his ear. Joey dropped a kiss to the side of my neck before pulling away, rolling over onto his back, his arms going above his head as he stretched them out. I found myself once again a little bit in awe at his impressive body, and the fact that he was mine.

"Right," he began, leaning his head to the side and watching me. "Knowing how long it takes you to drag yourself out of bed and get ready, I'm gonna go to the gym quick before we go."

"No," I whinged, curling closer around him as he started to move as if to get out of bed, nuzzling my head against his muscular shoulder. "Don't go to the gym."

"Why not?" he laughed, mirroring my tone, pulling gently at my bottom lip with his thumb, a smile on his face that showing that he was merely humouring me now.

"Well...why would you go to the gym when you can work out perfectly well with me? Here? In bed?" I trailed my hand slowly down the ripped muscles of his torso, my eyebrow raised at him suggestively.

"Babe, as good as that sounds, it would be quite counterproductive to getting _out_ of bed, wouldn't it?" Despite his words, I could tell I was having an effect on him, his abdomen clenching under my fingers, a definite bulge in his boxers.

"We don't have to do it in bed," I suggested slyly, sniggering as his hand reached out and stopped me from moving it any further down.

"Stop being a bad influence, Branning," he growled, rolling over and moving over me again, his arms braced strongly on either side of my face, hands flat against the mattress.

"You don't really mean that," I murmured, my hands going to his shoulders. "And, look, you're practically doing press-ups already. No need for a gym is there?"

His eyes smouldered as they met mine, staring me down for a moment, and I swear I almost whimpered just from the look on his face. After a second, Joey lowered himself, putting his weight on his arms as if he actually were doing a press-up, his lips meeting mine when he was low down enough.

I cupped the back of his head with my hands, my fingers sliding through his short hair as I reciprocated the kiss jubilantly, groaning as he ground his erection against my centre. After a good minute, Joey pulled his lips from mine reluctantly, sucking my top lip into his mouth as he did so, a glint in his eye when he looked at me, holding his weight above me still.

"You better be ready by the time I'm back from the gym," he warned, his voice gravelly.

I felt my face morph into a shocked expression as he pulled himself away from me and climbed out of bed. I rolled over, pushing my face into his pillow sulkily and groaning. As if he was actually going to leave me all hot and bothered like this?! I could hear him pulling some clothes on before grabbing his keys off the bedside table beside my head.

"We'll continue this later, babe. I promise," he said, chuckling a bit, clearly enjoying seeing the effect he had had on me.

"Whatever," I replied, my voice muffled by the pillow, not looking up at him.

"C'mon, get up," he coaxed, giving my bum a playful smack before he moved away from me. "See you in an hour, baby."

I merely grunted at him in response, lifting my arm and giving the finger in his general direction, causing him to laugh once more before he left.

_He is literally the most infuriating person. In every single way._

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

I quickly got over my irritation with him once we were out. He was hard to stay angry with, for one thing, and for another, we were at one of my favourite places: a country park about an hour away where I used to come with Mum and Dad when I was younger before all the trouble started.

It felt so nice to be able to walk around hand-in-hand with Joey not worry about being seen or having to hide. To the outside world here we were just a normal couple, and we _were_. It was only society, my family, _our_ family, that would brand us as different.

It made my heart ache no end to think that I'd finally fallen in love with someone who actually loved me back, but that other people would try and spoil it all because the term cousin could be applied to us. And that _literally_ was all it was to us, a term.

We walked around for a good while until I found a spot I wanted to stop at and we sat down, my back to Joey's front, his arms around my waist as I sketched a brief outline of what I wanted to draw. I wasn't guaranteed a place at Art College yet, but they had encouraged me to get back into drawing just in case.

As I was drawing, Joey rested his chin against my shoulder, watching me draw, occasionally pressing a kiss to my shoulder or to my neck. I felt like I had swapped lives with someone else, someone who goes to nice places and draws pictures whilst their boyfriend sits with them, just happy to be in each other's company. It felt like a million miles away from the broken version of myself I had been just over six months ago.

It made me feel so nervous and yet so confident all at the same time. He was bringing out the best in me, and I could only hope I was doing the same with him.

Back at the house, I decided that seeing as Alice wouldn't be back for a while yet, I was going to make sure Joey made good on his promise to continue where he left off this morning. I'd had a quick shower after we got back to freshen up, but instead of putting my pyjamas on as I'd told Joey I wanted to, I put nothing other than one of his white shirts and pair of simple, white knickers on, only fastening one button of the shirt.

I smirked at myself in the mirror. If he thought he was going to have all the fun and hold all the cards, he was very, _very _much mistaken. I made my way quietly downstairs and pushed the living room door open.

"Take-out for dinner, babe?" Joey asked without looking up from his laptop as I walked in.

"Mm-hm," I replied, making my way over to him, stopping directly in front of him. "But first, I was thinking you still owe me something from this morning."

I watched smugly as Joey closed the laptop, his eyes travelling slowly and greedily up my body, taking in my, well, _his_, attire, or should I say lack of it.

Joey pushed the laptop to the side, reaching out and grabbing my hands as he pulled me forwards, my knees hitting the edge of the sofa.

"Jesus, Lo. I'm never gonna be able to wear these shirts again, do you realise?" he mused, desire think in his voice, as he trailed a finger along the seam of the shirt where it sat at my upper thigh.

"What a crying shame that'll be, eh?" I replied softly, inhaling sharply as he ran his hands under the shirt, up over my thighs until they reached my stomach, coming to rest at my sides, his palms warm against my skin.

"I love you," he announced unexpectedly, looking up at me intensely, the ravaging look in his eyes stirring up the passion in my stomach. Getting used to him saying he loved me was another thing I wasn't quite used to yet. My heart always jumped so much when he said it that I was convinced I was going to have a heart attack one of these days.

I moved so that I was kneeling on the sofa, my knees either side of his hips, my arms around his shoulders. His hands gripped my sides tighter, eyes following mine as I moved, never breaking our gaze.

"Love you too, Joe," I told him sincerely, my fingers scratching gently at the back of his neck, earning the groan I knew it would cause. "Thank you for today. I really enjoyed it."

"You're welcome, baby" he murmured against my lips as I lowered mine to his, one of his hands sliding to my back, pulling me closer to him. "I enjoyed it too."

Our kiss quickly deepening, it didn't take long for me to rid Joey of his t-shirt and for him to rid me of my shirt. He growled loudly on removing my shirt, his lips crashing into mine possessively as he digested the fact that I was indeed only wearing those knickers underneath.

"So fucking sexy," he groaned as he pushed my backwards onto the sofa, his body covering mine, his erection straining in his jeans against my abdomen.

Joey kissed, nipped and sucked his way down my neck until he reached my chest where he lavished almost more attention that I could handle onto my breasts, my body writhing under his actions. His eyes locked with mine as he licked my left nipple, grinning at me as I moaned from the sensation it caused, my skin puckering, my nerve-ends on fire.

"Please, Joey," I croaked, shuddering a little as his fingers found the waistband of my knickers.

"Please what?" he replied, his voice deep. He had moved further down my body, pressing a kiss just above and then below my belly-button, causing my stomach to clench with anticipation.

"Stop teasing me," I managed to choke out as he kissed the fabric of my knickers just above my clit, my hips bucking desperately.

Joey smirked lethally as he moved back up over me, his shoulders caged powerfully over me, his eyes twinkling. "Why? Are you not enjoying it?" he questioned sneakily.

"Definitely." I smirked back at him, reaching down and fumbling with his belt loops. "Just wondering why you still have more clothes on than me though?"

"Feel free to sort that out, babe," he retorted, shifting to the side and helping me achieve what I wanted.

Just as Joey rolled back over me, his hands sliding down my front, clearly making for finally ridding me of my knickers, my phone rang loudly on the coffee table. I groaned, rolling my eyes, and looking between the phone and Joey indecisively.

"Just leave it," Joey said simply, his fingers brushing my hip bones and making me shiver a little.

"Ugh, it might be Alice to say she's coming back early though," I explained, reaching forward reluctantly and picking up my phone, only to see Mum's name flashing across the screen. "It's my mum."

Joey raised his eyebrow at me, clearly wondering why I hadn't just rejected the call. The problem was though, I knew if I didn't answer it now, she would only ring me back in five minutes and then every five minutes afterwards until I picked up, and I planned for me and Joey to be here a _bit _longer than that.

"Hey," I said, trying not to sound too breathless. I held a finger up at Joey as if to tell him to just hold his thought for a moment. Joey rolled his eyes, his fingers continuing their trail downwards teasingly and making it difficult for me to concentrate.

"Sorry, what did you say, Mum?" I asked after having completely missed what she'd said, my free hand grabbing Joey's to stop his ministrations, just as he had done with me earlier that morning.

"I _said_," Mum repeated, sounding more annoyed, a _lot_ more annoyed, than I had expected. I frowned, my attention caught instantly, my back stiffening. "That _Jake_ has just been round here."

My eyes went wide, meeting Joey's worriedly, my throat closing up in mortification.

_Oh my god. _

_He's told her everything, hasn't he?!_

**A/n**

**Crickey! And it was all going so well. Bit of a mean cliff-hanger, sorry not sorry! ;)**

**Apologies, for the last time (hopefully!) for the incredibly long wait for this chapter. Hopefully it was worth it!**

**Thank you so so so much once again for your reviews (and for the luck in my exams! bless your hearts). I appreciate them more than I can say. You're all just lovely.**

**See you in a few days with a bit of luck. My last exam is tuesday so after that I'll focus more on this story again. :) Hope you liked the chapter. x**

**ps. Dear, EastEnders, PLEASE CAN JOEY AND LAUREN JUST GET BACK TOGETHER ALREADY I CAN'T DEAL WITH ALL THIS SADNESS. And STOP turning Joey into such an arsehole. Talk about rollercoaster representations of characters. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Thank you. **


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Oh my god," I gasped, sitting up suddenly and pulling the discarded shirt back round my shoulders in order to cover up my modesty.

Joey moved away from me, pulling his jeans back on as he sat up and leaning his elbows against his knees, his hands running though his hair in frustration. I knew he had heard what Mum had said, and his immediate reaction of distancing himself from me only added to my panic.

It felt like my brain was trying to process a million and one thoughts at once._ Trying_ being the key word here. I knew I had lots of options as to how to play this with Mum, but everything was stuck on pause; an entirely unhelpful white noise in my head, and an entirely unhelpful Joey still as frozen as I was next to me.

I mean, what could I do? Feign ignorance and attempt to prolong hiding our relationship for a bit longer?

_What's the point? A: It wouldn't help. B: I don't want to._

Be honest? Tell Mum everything that had happened, explain everything to her, make her see how much, how hard, I had fallen for the disgracefully attractive boy next to me.

_Logical. _

But the thought of saying it all right now, over the phone, and with Joey seeming to have cut himself off from me at the moment, made me feel like I was about to vomit.

Or maybe I should take a leaf out of Abi's book and just start crying. That always seems to get her to the places she wants to go to.

_Everyone calls you a drama queen. Why not give the people what they want?_

After what was probably only a few prolonged seconds but which felt like a few billion prolonged years to me, I finally managed to find my voice.

"What exactly did he tell you?" I asked tentatively, nudging Joey's knee with my own and still receiving no response from him. I couldn't even try and understand why at the minute.

"What do you _think_ he told me, eh, Lauren?" Mum replied, her tone shorter than I'd ever heard it. Rather than scaring me though, it just got my back up and irritated me. Her being rude before she's even given me a chance to explain wasn't fair and wasn't going to change anything.

"Yeah, that's helpful, Mum. Answer a question with a question," I snapped, my brief irritation helping me think more clearly. This really wasn't how I'd imagined this conversation going. Not that I knew what I'd imagined exactly, but it wasn't this. It wasn't over the phone, and my boyfriend wasn't completely blocking me out.

I reached over with my free hand and gripped his forearm, relieved that he didn't pull away at least. I could feel how tense his muscles were, his hands still covering his face. I swallowed nervously as I realised that he was finally reacting how I expected him to. He was finally having those second thoughts I had dreaded him having.

He was freaking out.

_You're freaking out too._

There was a difference though. My freaking out made me want to be closer to him, his was putting a wedge between us. I let go of his arm as I concluded that I wasn't going to able to force him to look at me. I assured myself I'd make him face me when this call was over. If it was ever over.

"Ugh," I sighed when Mum still hadn't said anything else, clearly wanting me to spell it out for her, or maybe hoping I would dig myself a hole, which I felt like I very much already had. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't know how to-"

"So it's true then?" Mum interrupted me. I braced myself for the onslaught of judgement and disappointment she was about to send my way.

"Look, it's not as bad as it sounds. Seriously. We didn't mean for-" My scrambling was interrupted by Mum laughing sarcastically.

"Not as bad as it sounds?!" she screeched over the top of me. "He said he hurt you! As if he hasn't done enough already."

"We didn't mean to fall..." I trailed off, realising I had no idea what she was talking about now. Why would Jake have told Mum that Joey had hurt me? "Wait, what?! Joey has never hurt me."

Hearing those words leave my mouth finally caused Joey to unfreeze at long last, his head snapping up, his eyes meeting mine, confusion written all over his face.

"Not _Joey_," Mum clarified. "Why do you think I'm talking about Joey?"

My mouth opened and closed once or twice, completely at a loss for words. Mum had completely lost me, and I was worried I was about to dig myself deeper into my hole.

"Erm, I don't really..." I literally couldn't think of anything to say. Did she know about me and Joey or not?!

"Regardless," Mum continued, apparently bored of my stuttering. "Why didn't you tell me that you had seen Jake when you were out ages ago? Why didn't you tell me he had hurt you?"

_That's_ what he told her?!

"Oh," I said, relief colouring my tone. "Yeah, that. He just grabbed my arm, nothing major."

"Nothing major, oh of course," Mum muttered sceptically.

"Seriously," I insisted. "Why are you so upset about this?" It didn't make sense to me why this would've riled her up so much, unless of course there was more to the story.

"I'm upset because the idiot who broke my daughter's heart, took away her best friend, and pushed her so far, hurt her so much, she felt she had to leave Walford, is _still _hurting her." She sounded genuinely upset now.

"Oh c'mon. You know I didn't leave just because of Jake and Lucy, Mum." I knew telling her this wouldn't exactly make her feel any better, but it wasn't like she didn't already know it.

"Yes, well you still should've told me," she chastised. "Especially considering what his father's like."

I felt my eyes widen as she mentioned Sean. Had she met him too? Did she know he knew Derek? How much did she know of what he's actually like?

"W-what do you mean?" I don't know why I asked really; I definitely felt I would be better off not knowing.

Mum proceeded to explain how word had got out, as it always does in Walford, that Jake's dad had been arrested for assaulting someone. Proving that he really is as stupid as he looks, Jake thought it would be a good idea to try and convince everyone that he was nothing like Sean, starting with admitting to Mum what he had done and telling her that he was sorry.

"He said he wants you to call him but I told him where to go," Mum announced proudly. "Honestly, darlin', you're better off out of that relationship. God knows what could've happened to you."

It took me a second process everything she had said, work exactly what she knew and what didn't know. It made me very uncomfortable that Sean had been brought into the picture, a sneaking suspicion being that it wasn't coincidental.

"So, that's really all you were upset about?" I asked, disbelievingly. "You were angry at Jake, not at me?"

"Well, I was angry at you for not saying anything, but yes, I'm mostly angry with him," she agreed. "Just be thankful your dad wasn't here when he came round, otherwise I'd probably be bailing him out of prison right now."

I breathed a sigh of relief; we were out of deep water for now. It took me another few minutes of convincing Mum that I would stay away from Jake from now on until I ended the call, allowing me to face my next problem.

Whilst I had finished talking to Mum, Joey had got up and walked over to the window, looking out frustratedly. I sighed and stood up, making my way over to him, stopping slightly behind him.

"Do I want to ask what that about?" I demanded quietly, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice.

Joey didn't answer me straight away, lowering his head and sighing before turning round to face me, an unreadable expression on his face.

_No, don't do this now. Not when we've got this far. Convince him._

"We have to tell them, before Jake or Sean do, whether or not that's what they're planning on doing," I said, looking him straight in the eye and trying not to choke over my next words. "Unless of course you don't want to do this anymore, don't want me anymore."

_Oh, very convincing_.

He had the decency to look a bit guilty for his actions before, but his eyes were determined as he spoke, reaching out and brushing his fingers over my cheek softly.

"I _do_ want you, Lo," he assured me, his voice rich, his hazel eyes blazing into mine. "I always want you." Normally I would've smirked at this, chipped in a sarcastic comment, but I had to be sure he wasn't trying to appease me. If he was going to scare that easily, we were both going to end up hurt.

"Then why did you react like that?" I asked him, stepping closer to him, the heat from his only half-clothed body warming my own which was still only clad in his white shirt and my knickers, our shenanigans from before feeling long forgotten. "Why did you just ignore me? Cut me off like that? If you love me why would you-"

"Babe, calm down," Joey murmured, pulling me into his arms, my body automatically moulding against his. "I do love you, you know I do. I love you _so_ fucking much. I'm just...scared."

"What, and I'm not?!" I slid my arms round his body, my hands gripping his muscular shoulder blades, his bare skin warm against my palms.

"It's gonna be alright, Lo." Joey's lips brushed the top of my head gently, his hands rubbing my back over the shirt comfortingly.

"How can you say that when you just freaked out before?" My words were slightly muffled due to the fact that the left side of my face was pressed up against his chest, my lips against his skin.

"I know, I'm sorry," he said sincerely, his arms tightening around me. "I'm not backing out on you, I promise. It's just that it finally hit me how ironic it is that for the first time I'm actually in a relationship I _want_ to tell people about, but I'm scared to because letting other people in might spoil it. It should be a nice change knowing that I'm not the thing that could destroy this, but it isn't."

The last part wasn't strictly true; he could most definitely destroy this, and me, if he wanted to. But I understood what he meant. And even if Jake and Sean weren't part of this, we would've ended up backed into this corner at some point anyway.

I looked up at him, reassured by the honesty in his eyes, but scared, like him, that what we had wasn't going to survive whatever was going to happen when we told everyone.

"So we tell them yeah?" I questioned, my eyes searching his for any sign of panic.

He nodded slowly, whispering a soft 'yes' before leaning down and kissing me softly. I reciprocated his kiss, my lips moving against his, but pulled away after a few seconds, too much on my mind to focus properly. Joey watched me seriously for a prolonged moment, his hands moving to cup my face gently.

"How about I take your mind off it, eh?" Joey asked quietly after a few minutes, lowering his forehead onto mine, his nose brushing mine softly. The action comforted me somewhat.

"Not sure it's possible," I muttered, feeling like there was a heavy weight on my head and my heart.

"I'll accept the challenge," he retorted provocatively. I could tell he was trying to suck up a bit, but, honestly, if we were telling people soon, I'd accept all the moments like this I could just in case it _did_ all fall to pieces.

"I thought you might," I replied, smiling a little despite myself, my arms going round his neck as he slid his back around my waist.

"I promise this won't change anything between us, Lo," he vowed, his lips brushing against mine. My heart ached at his words; at the same time they were all I wanted to hear, and never hear.

"You can't know that. Don't make promises you can't keep, Joe," I sighed, my fingers brushing through the hair at the back of his neck. Joey didn't reply, probably wisely. If he'd tried to convince me otherwise I'd have only felt like we were even more set up for a fail than we already were.

"You know what I do know?" he asked me after a while, lifting his forehead from mine and watching me intensely, a small smile on his face.

"What?" I asked, returning his smile reluctantly. I really wished I could've, just for once, resisted those dimples.

_Except that you don't wish that at all._

"I know that you love it when I do this," he began, reaching out and pushing my hair behind my ear again, my eyes closing slowly without my permission.

"Yeah, so?" I said, wondering where he was going with this.

"I know that if I kiss you here," he continued, his fingers now at my neck, brushing over the skin just below my ear and making me shudder reflexively. "That you'll moan more than if I kiss you anywhere else. Well, _almost_ anywhere else..."

I raised my eyebrow at him, my breathing deep. He definitely had my attention, whatever it was he was doing.

"I know that you have a sensitive spot here," he persisted, brushing a finger over the inside of my wrist, just below where the sleeves of his shirt ended and smirking as my arm twitched. "And here," he added, trailing his fingers down the right side of my body, stopping just above the line of my knickers before brushing his fingers sideways and making me visibly squirm, my stomach clenching, a gasp escaping my lips.

I was completely mesmerised, a small voice in the very back of my mind complimenting him once again on his ability to take my mind of things. He reached down and grabbed my hands in each of his, eyes twinkling mischievously.

"I know that if I do this," he murmured, entwining his fingers with mine suddenly, my heart doing that strange leap it always did when he did that, the pit of my stomach clenching with need. "When we're making love, it tips you a bit closer to the edge."

I was so turned on by what he was saying, along with his actions, that I didn't even bother to call him out on the whole making love thing. I'd seen him be romantic with actions, but not with words. I could definitely get used to it though.

"And I know that I love you, Lo," he concluded, his eyes never leaving mine. "I won't promise you things won't change if it makes you nervous. But that doesn't mean I won't stop trying to prove it to you."

I just stared at him, speechless, for a second, before flinging myself at him, my lips crashing into his almost painfully, my heart beating so wildly in my chest I was certain he must be able to feel it.

His lips constantly battling against mine, Joey's hands crept down over my bum until they reached my thighs, gripping tightly before lifting me effortlessly into his arms, my legs going around his waist.

Before I knew it I felt myself being dropped onto his bed, finding ourselves in the exact same predicament we'd been in before we'd been interrupted. I couldn't quite believe we'd ended up back here after what we'd just been through, after coming closer than ever to that knife edge of making or breaking our relationship.

But then again, I couldn't quite focus on anything after his little performance downstairs.

I didn't know whether we'd moved backwards or forwards, to be honest. But I did know that, if this is the way Joey Branning takes your mind of things, then he could do it any time he pleased.

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I awoke the next morning disappointed to find that Joey's side of the bed was cold and empty. Before I could over think it though, especially knowing he wasn't working till later, I saw a note on the bedside table written in Joey's handwriting.

_Gone for a jog. Back soon. Love you. J. x _

I felt a small smile creep onto my face as I re-read the note. I didn't really know why I found the simple 'love you' so charming, but I did. The boy really was completely under my skin.

I discovered that the note must've been lying there for ages as I made my downstairs to find Joey in the kitchen, jogged, showered and frying bacon.

"You're cooking?" I observed, raising my eyebrow suspiciously at him as I walked into the kitchen. He was wearing jogging bottoms and a plain black t-shirt. Frankly it was just unacceptable how delectable he still managed to look.

"Nothing gets past you does it, eh?" I could practically feel his smirk even though he wasn't even facing me. I grabbed a tea towel off the table and threw it at him playfully, my mood still uplifted after last night's activities, despite the prospect of telling everyone looming over our heads.

"Smells delicious," I remarked, wrapping my arms around his waist and revelling in his freshly showered scent. "The bacon smells good too." I felt his laugh rumble through his chest as he turned round and kissing my swiftly before turning back to the hob.

"Mornin'," he said, and I was relieved to see that his relaxed tone didn't sound forced.

_Maybe you can get though this after all._

_Let's not count any chickens._

"I was thinking, maybe we should start with telling Alice," I suggested bravely after a second, pulling myself up onto the counter next the hob, hissing as some of the bacon fat spat out of the pan onto my wrist, burning it a little. Joey reached out and rubbed the small red mark gently with his thumb, rolling his eyes at me; clearly he felt my reaction had been grossly out of proportion to the size of the mark.

"Yeah?" he replied, his eyes meeting mine a little shyly, making him look all the more heartbreaking

"Yep," I replied, breathing deeply. "I mean, we live with her, so it makes sense that we tell Alice first."

Just as Joey opened his mouth to reply a movement in the kitchen doorway caught my eye, my good mood fast diminishing as I saw who was stood there, looking scarily determined and not just a little bit angry.

"Tell me _what_ exactly?" Alice demanded brusquely, giving both me and Joey a look that would undoubtedly kill if it could.

**A/n**

**Well, to quote 10 Things I Hate About You (which I am currently watching) "the shit hath hitteth the fan."**

**Firstly, I am SO sorry about the long wait. I know I promised faster updates after my exams finished, and I had every intention of updating quickly. However writer's block stood in the way. I have no idea why I found this chapter so hard to write. I'm still not 100% sure I'm happy with it but I feel like I need to move on from it now before I get too bogged down. Hopefully you will have enjoyed it anyway if you've made it this far down the page. ;)**

**Thank you so much for all of your reviews. If I could give you all a Joey Branning to take your mind off what's happening in EE at the moment, I absolutely would. :P**

**Hope you liked the chapter, see you soon. x**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I stared at Alice dumbly for a second, not knowing what to do. My eyes flickered to the clock on the wall which confirmed to me that she definitely should've been at work by now. I sluggishly mulled over whether to consider it fate that she was still here and walked in on that particular conversation, or just really, really bad luck.

I shared a long look with Joey; a silent cord of communication passing between us. It was clear from the look in his eyes that he, like me, knew it was a now-or-never type situation. We _could_ try and deny everything, but if felt like, particularly when it came to Alice, that that particular line had been crossed long ago. Alice's suspicions had been intensifying endlessly over the last few weeks, to the point where I was pretty sure that even if we did feign ignorance, even if nothing was _actually_ going on in the first place, she wouldn't believe us anyway.

Joey turned the hob off next to me, pushing the pan to side before turning slowly to face his sister, a deep sigh issuing from his chest. His arm brushed my leg as he moved, his fingers covertly fluttering over the skin at the back of my knee, tingles spreading from the spot he touched.

Taking courage from Joey's little manoeuvre, and comfort from the fact that this was obviously his way of saying he was there and he wasn't backing out, I slid off the kitchen counter, looking at Alice with determination.

I wasn't going to lie to her, I had decided. Even though I'd been brought up in a world where the best way to deal with a situation you don't want to deal with is to lie your way out of it, or else drink your way out of it, I just couldn't put myself through that again.

I was better than that now. I was stronger.

_Are you really though?_

_Don't start that now. _

Regardless of whether I was stronger, or strong _enough_, I knew that drowning my sorrows in alcohol wouldn't actually drown my problems. And I knew, from years and years and _years_ of experience with my parents, that lying to Alice right now would definitely not make this any easier, and wouldn't make me feel better. I was just going to have to pretend that telling the truth wasn't making me feel like I had a golf ball lodged in my throat.

Alice stared me down icily, an expectant glare on her face as her eyes flickered between me and Joey. I breathed in deeply, feeling too hot all of a sudden. I could feel Joey's gaze on me too; apparently he was going to let me decide exactly how to tell Alice, or indeed whether or not to tell her at all.

"Okay," I sighed, wringing my fingers together nervously. "Before you go off on one, please give us a chance to explain everything first."

"Explain _what_?" Alice practically hissed, her lips tights.

"What you've been guessing at for a while now, Al," I replied wearily, resigning myself to the fact that she had every right to react this way, but at the same time hating that, as always seemed to be the case, something as standard as telling someone you're in a relationship had to be so ridiculously dramatic with me.

_You really ought to be demoted of your crown as Drama Queen. You're not doing it right._

"You and Joey?" Alice questioned shortly, her face paling although she didn't look shocked; clearly hiding how I felt for her brother since I'd got here was another thing I hadn't been doing right.

"Yes," I confirmed hesitantly, my heart stuttering in my chest, but unable to keep a small smile off my face as I repeated her words aloud at long last. "Me and Joey."

I felt Joey slip his hand into mine, his long fingers entwining with my own. The simple gesture giving me a lease of life; he hadn't freaked out, he was still here, he was still mine.

"It's true, Al," Joey said quietly, his tone calm and compelling. I glanced up at him and felt my heart ache a little at how sincere and yet how_ shy _he looked. I knew, for him, just the admitting you're in a relationship thing was a big enough deal on its own, without even considering that small issue of us being cousins. In Alice's eyes, he was the eternal independent and an incurable player.

But I knew that was just a front. I knew that underneath that, there was a man who was capable of a love that made my heart sometimes feel like it was ten times too big for my chest.

_You've gone soppy. It's disgusting._

_Better soppy and disgusting than drunk and ending up having your stomach pumped._

"I _knew_ there was something going on with you two," Alice said after a moment, shaking her head slightly. It didn't escape my notice, however, that some of the anger her tone had been inflected with appeared to have subsided. "Did you not think this was something you should have perhaps mentioned?"

"Would _you_ have mentioned it?" I bit back, trying and failing not to become a bit defensive. Joey rubbed his thumb gently over my knuckles, evidently attempting to calm me down. I breathed deeply through my nostrils and tried to take some of the sting out of my voice. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you. We didn't _enjoy_ hiding it, believe me. But we didn't know how to tell you. We didn't even know how to tell each other for a long time. It wasn't exactly...planned, or anything. It just sort of happened..."

I watched as Alice let everything I had said sink in, her eyes flitting between me and Joey. Confusion, irritation, and what I think was curiosity crossed her features, but thankfully, as far as I could tell, not revulsion. I could take society thinking we were abhorrent; I really couldn't care less. But Alice? My family? Joey was right; that would hurt me, as much as I'd try not to let it.

"Don't be mad at Lo, Al," Joey implored in a tone that probably would've melted the heart of anyone other than his sister. "We were gonna tell you, just in our own time."

Alice stared at Joey for a long moment, her eyes scrutinising his face. "I really don't know what to say...or think." Her tone was still a bit harsh but she was starting to look more composed, her shoulders lowering as she leaned her arms on the back of the chair in front of her. "I mean, I knew you were different around each other, I knew you got on well..." She trailed off a bit, apparently searching for the right words. "But I never really thought you got on _this_ well."

I shrugged at her slightly, squeezing Joey's hand in mine and leaning against his arm, my forehead going against his shoulder momentarily.

"I just..." Alice continued, her eyes scanning from our joined hands, to my face, and then to Joeys, her eyes unreadable. "When? Why? How?"

"Alice, please," Joey muttered, distaste clear in his voice. I couldn't decide whether her sudden questions were better or worse than her calculated silence.

"But..." Alice released a long sigh, her lips pursing slightly as she spoke. "But you're _cousins_."

"No shit," I mumbled, rolling my eyes whilst mentally kicking myself for being annoyed that she'd pointed it out; people were obviously going to feel the need to get this fact out of their system, just in case we weren't _quite _already aware. And I shouldn't really judge them for it, because I guess it was the natural reaction, but I was definitely going to get tired of it _very_ fast.

"What Lo _means_ is," Joey intervened, his arm snaking round my shoulders, fingers squeezing my shoulder in an effort to get me to relax. "That we don't think of each other as cousins. We never did. You know I never met Lauren till she moved in here and when we _did_ meet...I don't know. There was something between us we couldn't ignore."

I nodded at Alice, entreating her to see the reason behind me and Joey; to see that it wasn't sick or wrong, but just love. You can't choose who you fall in love with.

"So it's been going on since you moved in?!" Alice asked, looking shocked now, her eyebrows raised way above her fringe.

"No," I assured her quickly. "Since your birthday actually. That was when we decided we couldn't pretend we didn't like each other more than just friends anymore."

There was a tense moment whilst Alice digested that information, her expression making it apparent that she was thinking back to that night. She'd been pretty tipsy but I was sure she would remember well enough.

"I should've known really," Alice muttered, rolling her eyes now. "I saw you watching each other that night, but I didn't really think that much into it at the time. And then you left together, but I thought that was just because Lauren had had enough."

"It _was_," I interrupted, not wanting her to think I ditched her on her birthday just so that I could go and make out with her brother. I mean, it _did_ sound like something I would do, but in this case it wasn't...the main reason at least.

"I saw Jake that night," I told her, looking her straight in the eye. "Y'know the one who came to my mum's the other week?" When Alice nodded slowly, her eyes acknowledging the way Joey's arm tightened round me as I mentioned Jake, I continued. "Well, long story short, he was a dick with me. Joey pretty much saved me and I asked him to take me home as we agreed he would do if I couldn't handle it anymore."

"And then you just...got together?" Alice questioned, her tone softer now.

"Well, it wasn't like a fairytale or anything, but yeah, I guess so," I replied, holding her gaze. "Look, I really am sorry we kept this from you. We were just scared about what telling people would do to us. Neither of us exactly have pristine reputations, do we? It just seemed too good to be true."

Joey pressed a light kiss to the top of my head as I spoke, Alice's eyes widening as he did so. Clearly this was a side to her brother she wasn't used to seeing. For a long while none of us said anything; Alice was clearly chewing everything over, and me and Joey were just waiting for her outcome.

"Look, I have to go," Alice mumbled eventually, her eyes darting up to the clock. She still looked a little gobsmacked, but at least she hadn't threatened us with any pitchforks or anything. "I'm already late for work. I...I really need time to get used to this."

"Of course," I said, throwing her a small smile. "And, hey, thanks for not, y'know, freaking out."

Alice just stared at me for a long moment, her expression indecipherable, before shrugging once and making her way out of the room. "Yeah, well... See you."

I looked up at Joey as Alice left, chewing my lip nervously. One of his hands went to my waist whilst his other reached up and pulled on my lip lightly till I released it.

"You okay, babe?" he asked quietly, watching me closely.

"I'm not sure if I'd prefer her to have just thrown things and shouted, to be honest," I sighed, wrapping my arms round his shoulders, trying to take comfort from his strong embrace. "I feel like I don't really know what she's thinking. Shouting and screaming I can deal with, but...ugh..."

Joey pressed a kiss sweetly to my nose, his hands now holding my face. "I know, babe. But at least she knows now, yeah? And, honestly, you don't want _Alice_ to start shouting and screaming, believe me, babe."

I nodded slowly, part of me wanting to run after Alice and beg her to say that she was okay with this, part of me wanting to run in the opposite direction and just hide away from it all, and another part just telling me not to care anyway.

_As long as you and Joey are all good, that's all that really matters._

"Look, as much as I don't want to leave you right now, I promised Sharon I would be in work by half-eleven," Joey explained, his hands running up and down my sides comfortingly. "I'll be back later though, alright?"

"Okay," I mumbled, pouting a little and receiving a short but lingering kiss.

"Stop over-thinking it, Lo," he said to me as he pulled away, apparently reading me like a book. "Just see what happens, yeah?"

_Easy for him to say._

"Don't know if I can," I admitted, walking with him to the front door as he gathered together his work stuff.

"Well, try," he encouraged, giving me one last kiss and shouting one last good bye as he rapidly made his way out of the house.

Trying not to over-think things had never been my speciality though. Over-thinking being, incidentally, the only thing that _was_ my speciality.

_Well, that and drinking_._ But we're not going there right now, right?_

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

I didn't hear from Alice again all day, and even though she would've finished work at five-thirty, she still hadn't got home at gone nine o' clock. Whilst Joey had been at work, I cleaned the house top to bottom for want of something to keep my mind occupied. I had always been a guilty cleaner; Mum always said that's how she knew I'd done something wrong. Of course last year that had progressed from cleaning to drinking, but we won't dwell on that.

Not that I was classing mine and Joey's relationship as something I'd done wrong of course. It wasn't; it was the only thing in my life that felt right at the moment. I had to hope that Alice would come to understand that; understand that me and Joey wouldn't risk so much on this if we weren't serious about it. Alice wasn't small-minded, and I hoped she would be willing to overlook the cousin thing once she saw how good we were together.

Joey brought food back with him after work which I ate, half-relieved, half-worried that Alice still wasn't back. Joey assured me that I was over-thinking it when I confessed to him that I was worried we had made her feel uncomfortable in her own home.

"What if she wants me to leave, Joe?" I asked him, genuinely stressing about this issue which had occurred to me earlier in the day. "I can't go back to Walford, I just can't."

"She won't want you to leave, babe," he replied as he gather up the plates, rolling his eyes at me, ever the blasé one. "And I live here too; I get a say, and I wouldn't let her make you leave, especially not when you clean the place so well." I knew he was just trying to lighten the mood, but I felt too highly-strung right then to go along with him.

"Just give her time to get used to the idea, babe," Joey encouraged a minute later, his lips at my ear as he came up behind me having found me stood immobile in the middle of the living room, twiddling my thumbs agitatedly. He reached his arms around my waist, palms splayed against my stomach, his front flush against my back. "We got through it though, didn't we, eh?"

"No idea how," I admitted, shuddering as he placed a soft kiss just behind my earlobe, his breath hot at the back of my neck. "Why can't things just be simple, Joey?"

Joey spun me round in his arms, a small smile on his face, his eyes meeting mine understandingly. "That would be boring, Lo."

I returned his smile slightly, unable, as always, to resist those dimples, but still feeling a bit emotionally drained. Telling Alice had been better and worse than I had imagined all at the same time.

Joey led me over to the sofa, laying back on it and pulling me down on top of him before flicking on the TV. I snuggled into him willingly, finally feeling myself relax a little as his arms went around me, almost cocooning me.

After a few minutes I felt my eyes start to droop, my attention waning from the TV, Joey's rhythmic heartbeat lulling me slowly to sleep. I nuzzled closer against him, enjoying the comfortableness of the moment after the tenseness of the last forty-eight hours. From Mum almost finding out, to Alice _actually_ finding out, and then the fact that we were both still alive, I felt like my head was spinning.

Joey suddenly pushed a strand of hair behind my ear with his index finger, trailing it over my cheek as he did so. I couldn't help but smile a little bit; I would literally never get bored of the gesture.

"Well, that's going to take some getting used to." Alice's voice came from the living room doorway unexpectedly. I looked up from my perch on Joey's broad chest to see her stood at the door, a very small, but very significant, to me at least, smile on her face.

"Does that mean you're okay with us?" I asked timidly, not bothering to move away from Joey; if she was ever going to get used to it, she may as well start now.

Alice pursed her lips for a second before nodding slightly. "It means I'm not _not_ okay with you both. If I hadn't seen how different you've been, Joe, I probably would never be okay with it. But I can't deny you've seemed so much happier recently, and if that's because of Lauren then...I guess I shouldn't stand in the way of that. But that's the best I can do for now; it's kind of a lot to take in."

"We know, Al," Joey replied, his fingers trailing up my spine gently.

"I take it I'm the only one that knows?" she asked, raising her eyebrow at us.

"Yeah," I agreed. No point telling her about Jake being the exception. "We're gonna tell them though soon. I promise."

"Good," Alice said before giving us one last long regard and leaving the room, bidding us goodnight as she went.

My eyes met Joey's as she left and our lips met softly, relief flooding through our bodies. Joey pulled me against him tightly again, my hands running through his hair gently. Having Alice's approval, stoic as it was, had lifted a great weight off my shoulders, even if we did still have the rest of the Branning's to deal with.

I eventually pulled my lips from Joeys, gasping a little and melting under the intensity of his dark gaze.

"Maybe we shouldn't have started with the easiest one," I said, laughing slightly, my forearms braced against Joey's chest. "There's no way everyone else is going to take it that calmly."

"If we can get through telling Alice, we can get through telling everyone else," Joey replied confidently. "Alice is the only one I'm scared of."

"You're more scared of Alice than my dad? Or Uncle Jack?" I looked at him sceptically, tracing my fingers over his strong jaw and admiring for the billionth time just how handsome he was.

"They're all bark and no bite, Lo," he explained, kissing my fingers as I ran them lightly over his lips. "Alice, on the other hand, is terrifying when she wants to be. I won't mess with Alice."

"All bark no bite?!" I demanded incredulously. "Dad's an irrational maniac and Jack's a boxer who's got bits of bullet still in his skull or something." I shuddered, hoping more than anything when they _did_ find out about us it didn't go as far as a fight.

"And I can look after himself," Joey said, pulling me down against his chest again, his muscular arms squeezing me tightly as if to prove, needlessly, just how brawny he was. "And from what your mum was telling me when we were at your house, so can you."

"Oh God," I groaned, pushing my forehead into his chest and shaking my head slightly. I could only imagine what Mum had told him. "Whatever she told you isn't true. Probably..."

"Hey, I'm not judging you, babe," he laughed, his hands sneaking under my t-shirt and rubbing up and down my back slowly before massaging his fingers into my tense shoulders.

It didn't take long for my eyes to fall closed again under his ministrations, the tiredness I had felt before clouding over my mind as Joey coaxed the tension out of my body. I don't know how long we lay there for, the TV a soft background noise, before I felt Joey lift me gently and carry me up to bed.

I managed to muster up just enough energy to brush my teeth and help Joey pull one of his t-shirts over my head as pyjamas, secretly enjoying being looked after by him. As I lost the battle with sleep I felt him climb into bed behind me, his arms immediately winding firmly round my waist, face buried in my hair.

The day had ended much better than I would have ever dared imagine it would. Alice had agreed to try and get used to our relationship, and our relationship itself remained unscathed by the effect of having another person know.

And whilst I by no means expected this ship to sail this smoothly all the time, at least I knew, feeling how content I felt right now, that it was worth it any fight and any fall.

**A/n**

**So Alice isn't going to stir up trouble for them, but will everyone else show them the same courtesy, d'you think? Yay for them being honest though, eh? No cliffhanger this time, but you might want to fasten your seatbelts for next time! ;)**

**I'm so sorry I made you all wait so long. Do you ever have those weeks where you seem to have been incredibly busy but you're not sure what exactly you've done? Well, that was my week. Hope you enjoyed it anyway and found it worth the wait.**

**Thank you a million trillion times for all of your truly lovely reviews. They put the biggest smile on my face when I read them - it's embarrassing. I didn't get a chance to reply to them individually, but just know that I read them all and appreciate them more than I can say.**

**In terms of EE:**

**+ Lauren's storyline is literally destroying me. It's getting harder and harder to watch. AMAZING acting though!**

**+ Joey - I liked that he told Max that she'd just got better at hiding the drinking, but ****_why_**** are they making him such a pushover for Lucy? Hoping this isn't going to last much longer.**

**+ The new Peter - That sexy voice? Wasn't prepared for it. I mean, you're no Joey, but dayum boy.**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and have a lovely week. x**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Over the next few of days Alice slowly started to warm up towards me and Joey again; her natural bubbly attitude winning out over the cold shoulder she couldn't quite shake off at first, despite her acceptance of our relationship.

There had been a handful of fairly awkward moments since that night Alice had told us she wasn't _not_ okay with us. Most just consisted of awkward vibes coming from Alice whenever she crossed paths with either me or Joey, or both of us together. These didn't last long, however, because me and Joey were too close to be awkward ourselves, and so it was hard for her to keep it up by herself.

The main thing that bothered her really was the same thing that bothered us: the secrecy. We assured her though, that the coming weekend we were going to meet up with my mum and dad and break it to them as gently as possible, therefore diminishing the possibility of Jake or Sean using it against us anymore. I didn't care that I still hadn't heard from either of them again yet; I wasn't going to take the risk of them spoiling things for me and Joey.

Catching her in a much more normal-Alice mood, I sat with her for breakfast Friday morning whilst Joey was out on another run. It was a bigger relief than I could have anticipated to, for the first time in days, have us have a conversation that didn't focus on me and Joey; I didn't want our friendship to have been compensated just because I was with her brother. Alice had been one of my closest friends for a long time, even if we had grown apart over the last few years, and I wasn't willing to give that up without a fight.

We were just laughing at the memory of when we somehow managed to accidentally smash the front windscreen of my dad's car with a cricket ball when we were about seven, one of the few times I'd actually seen my dad cry, when we heard Joey get back, the front door slamming behind him.

"Alright, ladies?" he asked as he breezed into the kitchen, chucking the post onto the table whilst shrugging off his hoodie, still a bit breathless from his run. What with Alice being in the room, and with her being in a good mood, I tried not to ogle him too much as I took in his appearance, not wanting to push my luck. He had once again managed to make being slightly sweaty and wind-swept look _edible_, his muscles seeming more ridiculous than ever and a look in his eyes when they met mine that actually made me squirm in my seat.

Like I said, I _tried_ not to ogle.

"You made hot chocolate, Lo?" Joey asked me as his eyes eagerly took in the steaming mugs in front of me and Alice. I just about managed to restrain a laugh as I thought back to the very first night I had met Joey and we had bonded over a mutual affection for hot chocolate, even if I_ had_ refused to make him one, which, considering the power of those dimples, was pretty brave of me.

"Yep," I answered him, failing to keep my smile at bay as he looked at me expectantly, knowing what was coming next.

"Where's mine then, eh?" he questioned, dropping into the chair next to me and giving me a swift kiss on the cheek.

_Charmer._

Trying not to blush from the sweetness of the kiss, I looked up at Alice, sharing a knowing look with her, a mischievous glint in both of our eyes. I think we both agreed that if Joey wanted hot chocolate, he was going to have to make it for himself, even if, for me at least, it was getting harder and harder to resist his charms.

"Well," I began in a matter-of-fact tone, bumping his considerably bulkier shoulder with my own. "There a plenty of clean mugs over there, a kettle, cocoa powder in the cupboard, milk in the fridge. I'm sure you can manage, babe."

"Yeah, big strong boy like you can manage, can't you, Joey?" Alice chipped in, smirking at me.

"Oh, nice," Joey quipped, pouting a little at us both. "This how it's going to be is it? You two ganging up on me?"

"Mm hm," Alice mumbled, taking a sip of her drink. "No difference really is there?"

I laughed, copying his gesture from before and pressing a kiss to his cheek, revelling in the casual atmosphere between us. Joey shook his head at us before getting up and making his way over to the kitchen counter.

"Do you have to make so much noise?" Alice demanded wearily after a moment as Joey bustled about, pulling a dish from one cupboard before slamming that one shut and rooting through another until he found the cereal he wanted.

"Do you have to be so uptight?"he quipped in return, smirking at me lethally as he turned round and caught me unashamedly admiring how good his torso looked in his rather well-fitting t-shirt.

"Urgh, what do you see in him, Lauren?" Alice asked, pulling a face at me. "Honestly?"

I grinned at Joey over the top of Alice's head. I was pretty sure he knew exactly what I saw in him, cocky bastard that he was. He winked at me cheekily before once again pulling the chair out next to mine and throwing the tea towel at Alice, receiving another torrent of irritated mumblings.

Finally picking up the post Joey had brought in, I noticed one letter was for me and opened it absentmindedly, still chuckling at Alice and Joey's banter, pleased that the awkwardness had dispersed. Once they start bickering again, you know everything's back to normal.

Straightening out the letter with one hand and picking up my mug with the other, I finally looked down at it properly, my attention gained immediately as I saw who it was from.

"Oh my god!" I screeched, my eyes scanning down the paper in greedy disbelief, choking on my hot chocolate a bit as I inhaled rather than swallowed.

"What's the matter?" Joey asked, his brow furrowed slightly as he glanced over at me.

"I..." I couldn't find the words at first, the strangeness of being able to say that something had actually fallen into place with no drama felt too good to be true. "I got into art college!"

"That's amazing, babe," Joey said, melting my heart a little with that genuine smile he only gives to a very select few people, his thumb brushing over my cheek tenderly.

"I _told_ you you'd get in," Alice exclaimed kindly. "Well done, Lauren."

Because of all the drama with Sean and Jake and the looming prospect of telling my family that I was dating a boy who just happened to _technically_ be my cousin, I hadn't really been concentrating much on the possibility of my going to college again. Well, partly because of those reasons, but partly also because I didn't think I was good enough and so was scared to actually hang all my hopes on the dream.

But apparently I'd been proved wrong this time, and the optimism it filled me with, as happy as it made me, scared me beyond belief.

Because this was _me_. And I couldn't help but feel like things were just going _too_ well.

_Isn't it about time you got over this way of thinking?_

I'd proved to myself that if I put my kind to things, I could achieve what I wanted. And deep down, I knew that once this weekend was over and we weren't hiding anything anymore, I would probably feel much more chilled out about it all. But, after past-experiences, it was hard to get my head around that kind of thinking.

I was still pondering over getting into college, half-thrilled, half-worried, after my shower as I was getting dressed, my thoughts only interrupted when Joey's arms wound around my waist, his lips attacking my neck sensuously.

"What are you doing?" His words were muffled against my skin, the vibration of his deep voice reverberating through my skin and making me shudder.

"Getting dressed," I replied, my breath hitching a little as I leaned into his body, arching my neck as he gently nipped at the sweet spot below my ear. "Why?"

Rather than answering me, his hands gripped the hem of my top, bunching up the material, and slowly started to pull it up off of my body. Once it was over my head I turned in his arms, winding my own around his neck and tangling my fingers in his short brown hair.

"I don't think you understand getting dressed," I remarked, holding his gaze and smirking a little, our lips only inches apart.

"You don't need clothes for what I have planned, babe," he explained, as nonchalantly as if he'd just told me I wouldn't need an umbrella for the day ahead, except for the smouldering look in his eyes, of course.

"Oh really?" I replied, attempting to achieve an equally offhand tone but sounding more like I was choking on oxygen. I wondered if I would ever get used to how accomplished he was at the whole sexy-arrogance thing.

_Hopefully not._

"And what _do_ you have planned exactly?" I asked, looking up at him from under my eyelashes, feigning innocence as his hands, warm against my now bare waist, pulled my body flush against his, a definite bulge against my hip which I may or may not have accidentally on purpose ground against a little.

His lips brushed against mine briefly before he replied, one hand leaving my waist to move my still slightly wet hair over my right shoulder before trailing over my collar bone, sending shivers down my spine, that delicious current we always felt between us humming with electricity.

"I thought we could celebrate," he murmured, his eyes blazing as they looked into mine. My breathing was becoming more and more laboured as his fingers continued their voyage over my body, now tracing a line over the arch of my breasts before dipping between them over the bridge of my bra and continuing down my stomach.

"What's wrong with just saying well done?" I asked jokingly, my arms tightening around his neck, our noses brushing together as our lips briefly met again.

"What's right with it?" he replied, sucking my top lip into his mouth and making me groan before continuing. "Besides, words are cheap. I'd much rather _show_ you how proud I am of you, how much I love you."

"Well, I ain't gonna argue with that," I managed to breathe out before crushing my lips to his, falling once again, if possible, even further in love with Joey Branning.

_And when falling feels this good, it's hard to see how I could ever have thought it would be a bad thing._

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

I had already told Mum and Dad I was coming to Walford with Joey tomorrow, but I couldn't wait to show Mum the letter, my excitement getting the better of me in the end, and so I texted her and told her I'd meet her in the caff during her lunch break.

I got there first, relieved as I sat down in the corner with two coffees that Lucy didn't seem to be working the current shift; the last thing I wanted was for her snide, bitchy face to kill my buzz.

"Well, this is a nice surprise, darlin'," Mum said as she sat down opposite me, looking more like herself than I'd seen her in a long time. Maybe things between her and Dad really were getting better. I dared to add that to the list of things going surprisingly well. "I thought we weren't seeing you around here till tomorrow."

"Yes, well," I began, clearing my throat in nervous excitement. "I thought you might like to see this." I calmly pushed the letter across the table to her before sitting back in my chair and waited as patiently as I could 'til she cottoned on to what it said.

"You got into college!" I tried and only just succeeded to not be offended by the hint of surprise in her voice. "Oh, Lauren, that's fantastic!"

I allowed her to bombard me with a fresh wave of 'well done's and 'I told you so's as her form of celebration, although I much preferred Joey's was of celebrating. There was much less talking involved but I felt _much_ better afterwards.

Being serious though, Mum's happiness was only hard for me to take because it had been so long since she's actually been this genuinely proud of me. I wasn't used to it. Rather than making me feel proud myself, I just felt more pressure to live up to expectations, something I didn't have to worry about when everyone just expected me to fail anyway.

By the time she had ran out if things to ask me about what I'd be doing, we'd both finished our drinks. Whilst she went for re-fills, I took the opportunity to text Joey.

_Help me. Mum's being so overbearing I can't deal with it. L. X_

_You need to learn to take compliments, babe. I'll make you feel better later. ;) J. X_

I scowled at my phone, half irritated with him for hitting the nail on the head and half for turning me on when there was nothing I, well, _he_, could do about it for hours.

I looked up at Mum uncertainly as she sat down again, still looking like she was drowning in pride and adding a whole lot more anxiety to my thoughts.

"It's really done you good living away hasn't it, eh?" It was worded like a question but she said it more like a statement. I shrugged noncommittally, hating that Joey was right; I wasn't good at taking compliments. "I have to admit, I didn't think it would help y'know?"

"Yeah, I did know." I rebuked, not shying away from the disheartened look in her eyes. She needed to know how she'd made me feel, even though she'd had the best intentions. "You and Dad always had a way of making me feel like I was doomed to fail no matter what I did. I don't think you meant to, but you did. It always felt like you were waiting for me to trip up, rather than helping me to succeed."

Mum reached out and took hold of my wrist gently, her thumb rubbing the back of my hand. "We never intended to make you feel like that, darlin'. But you have to understand how hard it was for us to be optimistic when you yourself had no confidence in what you were doing. I'm not looking for a get-out clause for me and your dad, because I know we failed you, but I'm just trying to show that you weren't completely blameless."

I pulled my arm back at her words, sympathetic as they were. It was nothing we hadn't been over before, especially after my stint in hospital just before I moved in with Alice and Joey, but it still picked at the wounds a little to hear.

_You're only still upset by it because you know she's right._

Thinking back to how bad everything had gotten, it was still easier, despite how rationally I could talk about it now, to place the blame on other people than myself, even though obviously I knew that, at the end of the day, it was me that had the power to make or break the situation, and break it I did.

"Anyway, as I was saying," Mum said, bringing the conversation away from the past and into the present. "I can see, and am _glad_ to see," she insisted, "That moving away helped you."

"Me too," I agreed, smiling a little at her, showing her I wasn't going to wallow after the brief tension between us.

"You seem so much happier now," she observed as she took a sip of coffee. "And I don't just mean because of college, and because of not leaving here in Walford. I mean because of Alice and Joey."

"Yeah, I am," I said, suddenly wary at where she was going with this.

"I mean, I knew you and Alice got on well from when you were little, different as you are." She smiled at me before continuing. "But I'm especially glad you've got Joey now."

"W-what d'you mean?" I could feel how wide my eyes were; I must've looked like a deer caught in headlights. Did she know about me and Joey after all? Why was she being so calm about it if she did? If she didn't, why would she say something like _that_?

"Oh, well y'know," she began, waving her hand in the air casually, "I saw how well you two got on when you came up for your dad's birthday, didn't I? I didn't really know what to expect knowing he's _Derek's_ son, but he surprised me."

_Yeah, you're not the only one he surprised, Mum._

"But he was lovely, wasn't he?" She didn't need to ask me that; I already knew. "And the way he defended you against Jake and looked after you was really touching. I don't know if he knows what happened with you and Jake, but I'm glad you've got someone looking out for you, darlin'."

I listened to her talk about Joey in more than a little disbelief; normally, when it comes to anyone other than me and Abi, Mum prefers to discuss people's faults over their good points. The thought occurred to me that maybe, seeing as she brought the topic up, and seeing as she seemed to be in such a good mood, now would be a good time to just...go for it, tell her about me and Joey.

"Well, actually." I stalled, taking a deep breath and feeling like my lungs weren't working properly. "Now you mention it, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."

Mum looked at me expectantly whilst I agitatedly started to fold up my serviette, biding time. I knew Joey wasn't there, but the topic had come up so naturally that it just felt like as good an opportunity as I was ever going to get.

_Are you really going to tell her right now?! What difference will a day make?!_

I knew that, when it came to Mum, a day could make a humongous difference. I had learnt from years of experience that the best way to tell Mum something she probably won't want to hear is to catch her in a very good mood, and always have some good news to counter balance the bad news, not that me and Joey were bad news, to me anyway.

The good mood part was fine, however, I had already given her the good news about college. Maybe I could use the news that I'd stopped biting my nails?

_Somehow I don't think that will swing it for you._

_It's worth a try. Mum feels very strongly about healthy nails._

Shaking myself reluctantly out of my own thoughts, I looked up at her as bravely as I could, trying to stop myself from panicking, trying to remind myself of how understanding Mum could be, how she'd taken news much worse than 'I've fallen in love' with a pretty cavalier attitude in the past.

"Um, I was going to tell you this tomorrow really but, seeing as you mentioned it..." I trailed off, unconsciously pulling the serviette to pieces in my hands.

"Go on, darlin'," Mum encouraged, looking confused now at the turn the conversation had taken, taking in the angst emanating from me.

"Well, you're right," I hedged, starting to wish that I _had_ waited till tomorrow, knowing that Joey's presence would've calmed me down. "Me and Joey _do_ get on well. Really well, actually."

"Yeah?" she prodded, still looking confused. I did notice that her smile had dropped considerably already.

_Shit._

_I can't do this._

_Too late._

I cleared my throat again, forcing myself to look her in the eye. I was just going to have to tell her now, otherwise she'd just keep pushing till I gave in, and I wanted to do this off my own back, not because I was pushed.

"Well, you know how me and Joey didn't know each other?" Mum didn't bother replying, still staring at me, her expression frozen now. I swallowed before continuing. "Well, um, we have this connection between us and erm..." I saw Mum's head twitch slightly, her eyes wide. Rather than freeze up myself though, I felt the words that I'd wanted to say to her for so long now come tumbling out of my mouth. "Well, we tried to fight it, honestly. But we got really close, and now, well...it's like you always say, isn't it? You can't help who you fall in love with."

"You and Joey?" she asked quietly after a very pregnant pause, looking and sounding like, after everything I'd said, she was scared of the answer either way.

"Yeah." It came out as a whisper, my breath whooshing out at the same time, my shoulders sagging from the relief of finally telling her, of getting it off my chest. I hadn't realised just how much I hated keeping secrets from my mum.

"Are you really that _stupid_, Lauren?" Her voice was still deadly quiet, but her tone was venomous.

"Stupid?" I spat, her words getting my back up immediately. I hadn't expected her to be over the moon, obviously, but I at least thought she'd have questioned me like Alice had before just jumping to conclusions. "This is the _least_ stupid thing that's happened to me in a long time."

"He is your _cousin_," she retorted as she leaned closer to me across the table, punctuating each syllable with anger.

"Yes, _thanks_, but we are actually aware of that funnily enough," I bit back, gritting my teeth together in an effort not to raise my voice. "Only according to technicalities though. We weren't brought up like cousins. We don't think of each other like cousins." I glared at her, daring her to contradict me. "You just said yourself how happy I seemed now. Well, it's because of him. We love each other."

Mum didn't say anything for ages, simply staring at me in apparent shock whilst I inwardly seethed at her reaction, wishing more than anything that I'd waited to tell her with Joey. He would've had something to say which would've diffused the tension, won her over, stopped me wanting to throw something through the window, stopped me wanting a drink.

_NO._

"Please say something, Mum," I sighed, not being able to take the silence anymore. "What are you thinking?" I wanted to remind her of all the nice things she'd just said about me and Joey individually, make her see how it's not such a massive deal if you really think it through rationally. But I couldn't bring myself to do it; a self-loathing part of me wanting to lead her into saying what she was clearly thinking, judging from the icy look on her face.

"I think that it's disgusting," she replied bluntly, no emotion in her voice at all; a million miles away from the compassionate person she'd been not ten minutes ago.

I sniggered, glaring at her, completely unsurprised. I should've _known_ she'd react like this. It was stupid of me to think any different. But I didn't care what she thought. I loved Joey, and if she couldn't deal with it, it was no skin off my nose.

"Yeah, it _is_, ain't it?" I replied scathingly. "It's just _so_ disgusting that two people have fallen in love. I mean, how_ disgusting_ that they just fell in love accidentally, without looking for it, or asking for it, or doing it to hurt other people." I barely paused for a breath, the pent up anxiety and anger finally getting its release. "And how _disgusting_ that it didn't start off with an _affair_." I saw her flinch at my words but was beyond caring. "And, above all else, how _disgusting_ that being in love has actually made them better people, rather than screwing them up to the point where they can't actually tell anymore whether it's love that keeps them together or _hate_."

I was hitting way below the belt with that last point, but I couldn't stop the words. In _my_ opinion, the only disgusting thing about this situation was her inability to see reason. Years and years of unresolved childhood issues mixing with the hurt caused by her being apparently completely unwilling to even discuss mine and Joey's relationship pushed me too far.

Without saying anything else, I gave Mum one last glare before pushing my chair back roughly and starting to make my way past her. She reached out and grabbed my arm tightly before I was out of her reach, swinging me round.

"Do you really think your dad's going to be okay with this, eh?" she demanded, still keeping her voice low, especially as we seemed to have attracted the attention of the handful of other people in the caff. "Is that what you think?"

"I really couldn't care less," I insisted, even though the tears I could feel building in my eyes clearly suggested that I could. Wrenching my arm free of her grasp, I fled from the caff, not stopping, or thinking, until I was on the tube where I couple of tears bubbled over, despite how hard I was trying to fight them.

_It's your own fault. Why couldn't you just have waited 'til tomorrow so that Joey could be there?_

I was convinced it wouldn't have ended so badly if Joey had been there, convinced that Mum would've been more obliged to _listen_ if both of us had been there, convinced that it wouldn't have ended in a classic Branning drama disaster zone.

I all but ran back to the house, wanting,_ needing_, to see Joey before he left for work; let him tell me it would all be fine, let him tell me it didn't matter anyway, let him tell me he loved me. I didn't care if it made me sound pathetic; it was what I wanted and in my current mood I wasn't going to apologise for it.

Making my way inside, I could hear Alice and Joey's voices in the kitchen. I was just about the turn the handle and walk in when Alice's words made me pause, my interest peaking.

"I mean, you have your pick of girls Joey," she said, not sounding judgmental, just matter-of-fact.

"Yeah, well, I picked her, didn't I?"Joey replied in a tone that sounded as though Alice had been on one of her questioning rampages and he'd almost had enough.

_Join the club, honey._

"Y'know, as much as I never, _ever _thought I'd say it, I think you're in love, Joey." Alice said softly. I couldn't see, but it sounded like she was smiling. And even though this fact eased my anxiousness, the very, _very_ long pause which followed her words started to inject a fresh bout of fear into my bones. "Do _you_ think you are?"

Joey hesitated further and I felt my heart stutter, my breath catching in my throat. I could practically _hear_ him fidgeting from here whilst Alice remained silent in her wait for an answer. All the anxiety I had felt in the last couple of hours came flooding back anew, tears springing to my eyes and immediately overflowing, dread coursing through me.

When he_ still_ hadn't answers a few moments later, a horrendous sense of humiliating defeat washed over me, my emotions on overdrive. I should've _known_. Alice had warned me. Hell, even _he_ had warned me. And with his answer, finally issuing from inside the kitchen, he proved it.

"No."

Joey Branning doesn't do relationships, and he certainly doesn't do _love_.

Mum was right. I _was_ stupid.

_I had thought I'd already fallen. But this? This was falling. And I knew exactly where I was going to land._

**A/n**

**Argh! Horrible place to leave it, I'm sorry! But before you judge Joey too much, it's possibly not what it looked like, or sounded like even. That's all I'm sayin'. I did warn you there was drama on the horizon, and it ain't stopping there!**

**Thank you so much, as always, to those of you who left me reviews - it means so much. You are all so lovely. I tried to reply to most of them this time, but I kind of lost track of who I'd replied to and who I hadn't, so please forgive me if I missed you. Also, to the Guest reviewers who write such lovely things and sometimes ask me questions, I can't reply as there's no option to reply to Guest reviews, but THANK YOU SO MUCH. Joey hugs all round.**

**Alright, I'll stop being mushy now.**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter, beastly as it was. See you soon. x**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Joey's voice echoed in my head repeatedly, my conscious defenceless to stop it or to focus on anything else. Unable to constrain it, a broken sob ripped loudly from my chest, my hands wiping furiously at the tears streaming down my cheeks.

As I turned away from the door and started to rush down the hall I heard the kitchen door swing open behind me, footsteps that were undeniably Joey's following me towards the front door.

"Lo?" he asked, innocent surprise clear in his voice that it physically hurt to register in my brain. "What's wrong?"

_Why do you care?_

Without answering him, I fumbled with the door latch, wiping more tears away angrily as I did so, my bottom lip wobbling under the effort of not bursting into a full-blown crying fit, or else not turning round and screaming at him. In truth, neither of those felt like the most appealing at the time. I knew what did though.

"Are you okay, Lauren?" Alice's voice was closer too, sounding concerned. I barely acknowledged her though; my mind, instead, cruelly bringing up all the times he had told me he loved me and distorting the memories with the 'no' I had just heard him say.

_Stupid stupid stupid._

The worst thing was, it wasn't even _him_ I was most wounded by; it was me. All those promises I'd made to myself not to fall in love again, not to let myself get hurt again, all the_ progress_ I'd made. And I'd thrown it all away for a boy who I should have known would only break my heart in the end.

"Lo!" His voice was right behind me now, having easily caught up with me as I started to make my way down the road. I still didn't respond, pulling my jacket close around me as if that would keep me from falling apart.

"Babe, what's this about, eh? Seriously." His fingers gripped my arm as he spoke, not tightly, but with enough firmness that he managed to stop me walking and half-turn me to face him, only letting me go when I struggled violently out of his hold, more sobs escaping my lips.

"No," I managed to croak, not daring to look him in the eyes. Not being _able_ to. "Just leave it, Joey." His name almost got lodged in my throat. His name, my heart, the same thing really. "I get the message, loud and clear."

He shouted me a few more times as I resumed my escape, not really even thinking about where I was going. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I was being irrational, knew that I should've let him explain, or at least _tell _him what it was I wanted him to explain.

But after everything that had happened that day with my mum, everything she had said, everything I had said, everything Joey had said, it all got too much. I couldn't think clearly, almost didn't want to. I only wanted one thing.

Well, that's a lie. There was one other thing I wanted, but clearly I couldn't have that, him, anymore, but the other I could have whenever I wanted.

As I reached the tube, the pathetic part of me, the part which seemed to be controlling my tear ducts at the time, took another hit as I had to acknowledge that Joey hadn't come running after me to tell me it had all just been a big mistake, swept me off my feet and carried me back to the house.

_Because you're not a fucking princess and he is no Prince Charming and this is not a fucking fairytale. _

My subconscious led me onto a train to Walford, and despite the state I was in, I still managed to appreciate the irony of going back there. Back to the place where if it's not already going wrong for you, you can guarantee it will do soon enough.

About halfway through the journey, about the time Joey started to call me repeatedly, a very, very small voice in the back of my head, the part that wanted to retain just a little bit of dignity, tried to push forward the idea that maybe I was overreacting just a teeny, tiny bit. And even though I'd managed to get my tears somewhat under control by this point, and even though I wasn't really sure what I was going actually going to _do _when I got to Walford, being sure as hell that I wasn't going home after what Mum had said to me before, I still couldn't stop myself from following that niggling craving.

_You don't really want a drink._

I did though. And the closer I got to Walford, the closer I got The Vic, the closer I got to all the bad memories that corrupted my view of that place, the more I was convinced I wanted one. It felt nice in a morbid kind of way, poetic almost, that I'd found myself back here; it felt like this was where I was destined to spend all my time when I was at my worst. It would almost be wrong if I hadn't come here.

As I made it into the pub and ordered a drink from a barmaid I mercifully had never seen before, the craving for the numbness I knew the alcohol would bring was clawing up my throat, and where I had recently been strong enough to be stubborn against the feeling, my will not to cave in had been chewed up and spat out and I knew I wasn't going to win this battle. I didn't want to, actually.

_Don't let another boy do this to you._

Except that I already had let that happen. And Joey hadn't just been _another boy, _had he? I'd let him get closer than anyone else, ever. Even though everything was against us, I'd let him in, I'd trusted him. And with one word he'd destroyed it all.

Moving to sit in the corner of the bar, I rejected another of Joey's calls with steely determination. Then, eying the glass dejectedly first, just long enough to ensure that I felt disgusted enough with myself, I gulped a few large and painful mouthfuls of vodka, the first that had touched my lips since the night I'd had my stomach pumped. And although the initial shock of it helped for a moment, helped me forget just for a moment that Joey hadn't just broken my heart, it didn't make me feel better.

_Well, of course it didn't. Haven't we been here before?_

I felt the tears I'd managed to put a barricade round before return with vengeance, the glass shaking a little in my hand as the vodka settled uneasily in my empty stomach. My phone vibrated next to me on the bar as I received a text from Joey, curiosity getting the better of me as I read it.

Please talk to me, Lo. Please. J. X

I swiped at a few tears which had begun to run down my cheeks. His attitude didn't seem like that of someone who's just been caught out confessing that he'd lied about being in love with his supposed girlfriend.

_Maybe you should just talk to him? Stop being so bloody dramatic._

I was too scared though, too hurt to let myself hope that I was just being overdramatic. How did I know he didn't just want to talk to me because he wanted to tell me to my face that it was over?

Downing what was probably another quarter of the drink until I had to stop for breath, my stomach churning horrendously from the alcohol, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror across from the bar. I looked horrible. Pale, red-eyed, blotchy face. I looked how I had looked that night I went off the rails, although not quite as bad.

Not _quite _as bad.

I put the glass down, pushing it away from me harshly, suddenly repulsed. Even though it was hurting me, it _wasn't _quite as bad. Because I _was_ stronger. _Joey_ had helped me be stronger. And after several minutes of sitting there, sluggishly mulling everything over, I decided that if Joey was going to cause me to sit here pathetically, revolted by the only thing I thought would've helped me, I wanted a valid explanation for why he suddenly didn't love me anymore, or why he had told me he did in the first place.

As if by fate, he chose that moment to try calling me again, and this time I answered.

"I don't get you," I told him immediately, not bothering with 'hello', a little disheartened that my voice didn't come out as strongly as it had been in my head; the tears I still hadn't managed to control weakening the force behind my words.

"Lo, what the hell are you playing at, eh?" He sounded somewhere between confused, annoyed and relieved. The fact that he didn't seem to know what had upset me, rather than making me realise we weren't quite on the same page, only made me worse. "Who's upset you?"

"You," I replied, my voice breaking on the single word. I rolled my eyes at myself; why couldn't I just sound angry rather than all feeble and melodramatic? Stupid fucking vodka.

I heard Joey mumble something and Alice's voice in the background saying something about me overhearing them talking. My lip curled into a snigger which would've been impressive if I hadn't been crying at the same time; she was damn right I'd heard them.

"What is it you think I've done exactly?" he asked, and when I didn't answer straight away he sighed deeply, clearly frustrated.

"You said you loved me," I slurred eventually, partly because of the alcohol, partly because of the tears I was still choking on. I hated how pathetic I sounded, how much just hearing his voice was effecting me, how deeply I'd let myself fall.

"I _do_ love you, baby," he replied, his voice sincere. I closed my eyes as if by closing them I could shut myself off from hearing anymore, covering my forehead with my free hand and leaning my elbow against the bar. "You know I love you, Lauren."

I breathed in shakily, my head rolling a bit against my hand; the effect of the alcohol and his words taking its toll.

"No," I mumbled, sniffing meekly. "No, you don't. I heard you talking to Alice."

"You got the wrong end of the stick, baby," he assured me, his voice, although tense, more compelling than ever. "You obviously didn't listen for long enough. If you'd just listened for five seconds longer you'd have heard me say that I didn't _think _I loved you, I _know_ I do."

For a long time I didn't know what to say to this, half of me welcoming this news with open arms, my heart inflating with hope, whilst the other half was still trying to throw more walls up for fear that he was only saying that to appease me for now.

Weirdly though, all I could seem to concentrate on was Gran's voice in my head suddenly, telling me when I was little that those who eavesdrop shouldn't be surprised to hear things they don't want to. I didn't know whether it was the effect of the alcohol, or the situation, or just this shitty day in general, but I honestly didn't know whether I wanted to laugh or cry now.

Joey sighed down the line, sounded as frustrated as I felt. I could almost see him wringing his hands through his hair in agitation, that crease furrowing his brow as it always did when he was stressed.

"Do you really think that little of me, eh?" he asked me, sounding hurt now. "Do you really think, after everything we've been though, I'd really have just been lying, or using you or something? Is that what you think?"

I exhaled, feeling awful. He was right; it was unfair of me to have thought so badly of him, to have so willingly let myself be convinced that he would hurt me like that. Bad reputation in the past or not, I should've thought first and acted after.

_You never, ever learn do you?_

I'd let both of our histories cloud my judgement, and it cut me deeply to know that_ I'd_ cut_ him _deeply. Joey wasn't Jake, we weren't my parents, we _definitely_ weren't Joey's parents; we were just us.

"I'm sorry," I breathed, more tears, if possible, rolling silently down my cheeks. "I-I just... I shouldn't have jumped the gun but..."

"But what, Lo?" He didn't sound as upset now, his tone more gentle. "How could you possible think I didn't love you?"

"I told Mum about us," I explained, a bit guiltily, a fresh wave of the shame she had made me feel washing back over me. "Safe to say she didn't take it well. I'd said all this stuff about us being in love, made this massive deal about how much I didn't care what she thought because I loved you and you loved me and then..." I swallowed back more tears; I was sick of crying. "Then I got back and I was just in a really bad mood; I wasn't thinking straight. And I heard Alice ask you if you loved me and I heard you say no and I just..."

"Babe, slow down," Joey encouraged gently. "How come you told your mum? I thought we were doing it together tomorrow?"

"I know," I mumbled, rolling my eyes again. "It just seemed like a good moment to tell her. But she was so angry with me, Joey. She didn't even _try_ and let me explain really."

"I told you it would upset you, Lo," he told me sadly, setting panic alarms off in my head.

"I don't care what she thinks, Joey," I hastened to tell him, wishing once again I hadn't fallen back on the vodka; undoubtedly I would've been able to phrase it all better. "Not anymore anyway. I just want you, and I thought I'd lost you, and I'm sorry."

"You haven't lost me, baby," he assured me, the feelings his words created washing over me like a balm. The alcohol was making my brain fuzzy and tired but I was determined to savour the knowledge that we weren't over, that I hadn't ruined us by being a crazy, dramatic idiot.

"You drank, didn't you?" Joey asked me after a moment. His tone was concerned but not disappointed. I breathed out, selfishly relieved; I couldn't take anymore disappointment today. And besides, no one could be more disappointed in me right now than I was.

Even though I had stopped myself, even though I had been able to see that turning to alcohol didn't help _at all_, I was still so angry with myself for slipping back into that way of thinking so easily, as if I'd never stopped.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, looking at what was left of the vodka in the glass in front of me and feeling my nostrils flare with revulsion, my stomach churning again. In all honesty, I was pretty sure I'd never actually _liked_ the taste of it, and I certainly didn't care for the aftertaste either. The appeal had only ever been in the _effect_.

"It's not me you need to apologise to, babe," he replied softly. He didn't need me to verbally agree with him on that one; I already knew that.

_Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Everyone falls off the wagon every now and then._

Telling myself this didn't really take the sting out of how upset I was with myself though.

After another beat of feeling sorry for myself, feeling sorry for all the drama I'd once again caused, a thought suddenly occurred to me.

"Shouldn't you be at work by now?" My words were slurring worse than ever, but I tried to just pretend it wasn't happening.

"Well, yeah," Joey agreed, sounded a bit more light-hearted now. "My girlfriend had some sort of breakdown though and I didn't know where she was, so I swapped shifts with one of the guys."

"Oh," I replied awkwardly, eloquent as ever. Would the guilt just never end for today?

"Where are you, baby?" Joey asked after a second. "I'll come and get you." In the background I could already hear him picking up his keys.

"Um, Walford," I admitted tentatively, more than a little bit embarrassed now. Why did I have to have come all this way? I heard Joey laugh a little as the sound of a car door slamming issued from his end of the line.

"Don't do things half way do you, eh?" he chuckled. In my state, I couldn't tell whether he was merely humouring my dramatic decision but was really a bit saddened by it or was genuinely amused. "Always such a drama queen, baby."

"Something like that, yeah," I agreed, unable to defend my corner this time. The vodka, the drama, the relief that all wasn't lost, take your pick, had made me so tired I was fighting to stop my eyelids closing.

"I'll be there as quick as I can, alright?" I nodded in response before remembering that he couldn't see me and mumbled an 'okay' to him, feeling more and more drowsy by the second, the alcohol very much having taken its hold.

"Love you," he said, his voice quiet but saturated with sincerity.

"I know," I replied, a small smile actually turning up the corners of my lips. "I love you too, Joe."

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

About half an hour later, a hand that I could tell definitely wasn't Joey's touched my shoulder, my conscious, lethargic as it was because of the alcohol, acknowledging someone's presence rather closer than I would've liked.

"Trouble in paradise?" I stiffened at hearing the voice, groaning inwardly and taking in a deep breath as I reluctantly turned, swaying slightly as I did so, and saw Jake standing next to me smugly.

"Don't you have someone else you can go and annoy tonight?" I grumbled, immediately turning away from him. Undeterred, he nudged my shoulder, flicking his index finger against the almost-empty glass in front of me.

"Some things never change, do they?" Maybe it was just the pessimistic mood I was in, but he sounded practically gleeful about that fact.

"If that were true for this, that glass would be empty by now, along with another ten probably," I replied apathetically. Jake was literally the last person I wanted to talk to right now. He was the last person I wanted to talk to ever. Especially not when I was drunk. Especially not when his dad could cause a lot of trouble for me and Joey, speaking of whom should be here by now surely.

I looked round to scan the room, gripping the bar as I did so, but couldn't see Joey anywhere. I also couldn't see Sean, a fact that put me ever so slightly more at ease. Jake noticed my review of the room and smirked.

"No lover boy here tonight?" he tormented as he order a drink, reminding me very much of Sean.

"Give it a few minutes," I replied through clenched teeth. "I'm sure he'll be as _thrilled_ to see you as I am."

"He will won't he?" he agreed obnoxiously, apparently choosing to ignore my sarcasm, or maybe just being too stupid to recognise that it _was_ sarcasm. He pushed another glass of vodka over to me as he pulled a pint towards himself, flirting with the barmaid as he paid for the drinks.

_Please say he's not trying to make me jealous?!_

"I didn't ask for this," I said with as much force as I could muster at the time, pushing the glass away with the back of my hand. "I don't want it." I felt a small drop of pride that I was being a hundred percent genuine with telling him that. I wanted Joey and my bed, that was what I wanted.

"Your favourite, ain't it?" Jake continued, taunting me further. "Your poison of choice."

I rolled my eyes in irritation, biting my lip in order to keep my temper. He wasn't worth it.

"Just get to the point, Jake," I said, throwing him a withering look. "You clearly have one; you only ever communicate with people if there's something in it for you, so just get on with it."

Jake sipped his beer pensively for a moment before speaking again, his tone much more to the point now.

"Alright, if that's how you want to be," he began, putting his glass down and turning towards me.

"It is," I assured him shortly, wishing desperately that Joey would hurry up and get here. Although, if I was wishing for things, I should probably wish I hadn't come here at all and make myself wait five more seconds in the hall of our house.

"I need that _cousin_ of yours to be an alibi for my dad," Jake announced bluntly. So he _did _know everything about his dad's history with Joey. And I was taking it that this meant Sean knew everything about me and Joey too.

_This day literally cannot get better._

"Got you doing his dirty work for him has he?" I said, trying to sound uninterested, although inside I was really starting to become very uncomfortable.

"Oh come on, Lauren," he continued, all pretence at niceties long gone. "You know what it's like to come from a messed up family. I can't have my dad go to prison. You have to help me."

"I don't have to do anything for you or your dear old _dad_," I rebuked, disgusted at the thought of me or Joey helping a monster like Sean stay out of the place he absolutely belonged. "And I don't have to listen to this." I would just have to wait for Joey outside.

Just as I swung down off my bar stool, ungracefully thanks to the vodka which was still playing havoc with my senses, Jake reached forward and grabbed me to stop me walking away, his hands tighter than they needed to be at my waist.

"Get off me," I spat, sickened by the feel of him touching me. Jake leaned close to my ear and snarled nastily at me.

"If you don't tell him to co-operate, I will make sure you-"

"Go on, finish that sentence. I dare you." I breathed a heavy sigh of relief as I heard Joey's voice right behind me, his hands easily pulling me out of Jake's grip, his arms immediately going round my waist and pulling me into his side protectively. I leaned against him heavily, not having realised quite how unsteady I was.

"Oh, here he is," Jake goaded, although I did notice he stepped back a bit. Maybe not as stupid as he looks after all. "Joey Branning. Not that different you and me."

"I am _nothing_ like you," Joey seethed, his voice harder than I'd ever heard it. Trying not to focus on the fact that standing up had made my stomach churn worse than ever, I curled my arms over Joey's around my waist, stroking my fingers over the back of his hand to try and calm him down.

"You are though, mate," Jake disagreed, unfazed by Joey's menacing tone. "We're of the same mould, you and me. The same kind of old man, if you get my drift."

In a flash, Joey's fists were clenched at Jake's chest, pushing him backwards into the bar threateningly. The sudden loss of Joey's arm around my waist, however, caused me to sway unsteadily again, nausea washing over me strongly, my head spinning sickeningly.

"J-Joey," I moaned, reaching forward and grasping his forearm, half the intention being to stop them fighting, the other half being to try to steady myself as I swayed on the spot. How could I have ever thought vodka would be a good idea? "Joey, I don't feel good."

Joey let go of Jake with one hand and took my outstretched one, entwining our fingers as he pulled me against him, keeping the other hand still unrelenting against Jake's chest.

"If I wasn't more concerned for my girl right now," Joey snarled, glaring at Jake. "I promise you, I would make sure you weren't standing right now. As it goes, I care more about her than I do about smashing your face in, and that's where I very much differ from cretins like you, and our fuck-ups of fathers." Letting go of Jake's collar and pushing him back forcefully, Joey wound his arm back round my waist and started to lead me out of the pub. "Don't ever try and talk to me or Lauren ever again, you got that?"

Without waiting for an answer, Joey, taking pretty much most of my weight, guided us out into the fresh air, not stopping until we were by his car where he leaned me against the door, standing in front of me and pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Do you still feel sick, baby?" he asked me, his hands pulling my hair over my shoulders gently, his tone still a bit strained but calmer now we were outside.

"I think I'll be alright," I murmured, breathing deeply through my nose. The fresh air had helped make the nausea subside pretty much straight away, but I still felt a bit sensitive.

"How much did you drink?" he asked me, his tone making it clear that it was just a general question, not an accusation.

"Not even that much, to be honest," I admitted, reaching out and taking his hands, swinging them between us, glad he was finally here. "I didn't eat anything though, and, y'know, it's been a while since I've downed vodka like that."

Rather than say anything else, Joey slowly pulled me forward into a hug, his arms going round me tightly as I nuzzled my face against his broad chest, feeling more like myself than I had in hours. I felt his lips brush against the side of my forehead, his fingers grazing my side where his arms had snuck under my jacket.

"Tell me you know I love you, Lo," he said, the earnestness of his voice causing me to look up at him, the almost lost look in his eyes breaking my heart a little.

"I know you love me, Joe," I replied, leaning up and kissing him lightly at first, his tongue running along my top lip, effectively leading to the kiss deepening quickly, his hands cupping my face tenderly.

"I'm sorry about today," I told him quietly as we pulled away, looking at him guiltily. "Not just about the whole listening-in thing, but for telling Mum without you. I have no idea what drama I've caused with that."

"Don't worry about it, baby," he assured me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and smiling as I leaned into his hand. "We'll deal with it all tomorrow, yeah?" I nodded, my eyes closing, the tiredness getting the better of me for good now that Joey was here and I could let my guard down again. "C'mon, let's get you home before you fall asleep on me."

I let Joey coax me into the car where I curled up automatically on the passenger seat, gratefully accepting the water bottle he handed me and taking a few long, refreshing gulps.

Only seconds into the journey I noticed one of Joey's hoodies on the back seat and groggily reached for it, pulling it over me and snuggling into the seat where I at some point fell fast asleep.

_And, to be honest, as long as the only falling I was doing this time was falling asleep, everything was going to be okay, for now at least._

**A/n**

**Phew! So it was all a bit of a misunderstanding. You can always count on Lauren for a bit of melodrama can't you, eh? Is the drama over though? Not if Tanya has anything to do with it. ;) At least they're still together though, and just a little bit adorable.**

**Thank you so so so much for all of your reviews for the last chapter! I was more than little bit blown away to be honest - I thought after that ending everyone would just be like' nah we're done with this'. I'm very glad that wasn't the case though. :)**

**Hope you liked the chapter. See you next time. x**

**ps. All these EE spoilers are almost too much to take in. Hopefully it means we're on the right path to getting Jauren back though! Fingers crossed!**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I woke up gasping for a drink, a dull ache throbbing across my temple which I had at one point become used to waking up with, but which now made me feel completely disgusted with myself. For the billionth time since last night, I regretted drinking that vodka.

My only saving grace was that, this time, for the first time, I could say that although I'd slipped off the wagon, I'd been strong enough to stop, to see that it wasn't what I wanted. And so somewhere amongst the disappointment I was stewing in, I did feel a tiny bit proud of myself for making the right decision in the end, even if it did take me a while to get there.

In a way, I also felt a bit relieved. Before last night, I had been worried that the whole drinking thing had been a bit of a ticking time bomb, a disaster waiting to happen in which I would just completely crumble as soon as a drop of alcohol entered my system again. But that hadn't happened, and I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief for this. I'd passed the first test, and that was a massive deal for me. It wasn't that I'd been an alcoholic when I went slightly off the rails, but I had got _used_ to the binge drinking, let's say. So I wasn't going to completely gloss over my success.

I could tell when I finally coaxed my eyes open that it was morning, but very early, too early for anyone to be awake yet. I was in my room, but I realised groggily that I had no memory of actually getting there, or, for that matter, getting undressed; I appeared to be clothed only in one of Joey's shirts which I had stolen the other day and my knickers.

Whilst I was trying to remember what had happened after we'd got in the car and coming up blank, a glass of water on my bedside table caught my eye. I reached for it gratefully and chugged down a good two-thirds of it so fast that I started to choke a little, coughing unattractively.

"You alright, Lo?" I almost choked again at hearing Joey's voice, not having realised he was behind me, or expecting him to have been awake. I put the glass down and turned towards him, noticing straight away from his demeanour that he seemed to have been awake for a while.

Maybe it was the alcohol still having an effect on my brain, but as my eyes unavoidably roved over his shirtless torso and disgracefully handsome face, I felt more attracted to him than ever. Trying to reign myself in before I got too carried away drooling over him, I lay back down, curling into his side and sighing contentedly as he wound one of his arms around my waist.

"Hey," I said quietly, pressing a kiss to the skin of his shoulder.

"Hey," he replied, his hand rubbing up and down my back comfortingly. "How're you feeling?"

"Alright," I sighed, snuggling against him. "Bit of a headache, nothing too bad. I've had worse."

Getting the impression after a minute of silence that he was a bit subdued, I leaned up a little, holding my weight on my elbow but keeping myself curled against him.

"I'm really am sorry about last night, Joe," I told him, hoping that he wouldn't stay upset about it too long. I already felt horrifically guilty for thinking so badly of him; I didn't need to be reminded.

"I know, babe," he said, his eyes a bit guarded when they met mine. "I forgave you last night; you don't have to keep apologising."

"Okay," I replied, put slightly more are ease by the sincerity in his voice, but still concerned by the rather stony look in his eyes. "I take it you brought me up here? I don't remember anything after I fell asleep."

"You were pretty dead to the world, babe," he explained, his fingers still travelling up and down my spine rhythmically. "In all fairness, I didn't actually _try_ to wake you up, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have done even if I had."

"So it was your decision to take my bra off then, was it?" I asked him after a moment, smirking at him a little, trying to lighten the mood. A cheeky smile lit up his face, dimples abundant, but it didn't reach his eyes, much to my dismay.

"You said you don't like sleeping in your bra," he declared, his tone making it clear he was feigning innocence. "I just wanted you to be comfortable, babe."

"Very thoughtful of you." I laughed under my breath, being aware that Alice would still be in bed asleep. Rather than laugh with me however, a frown marred Joey's features all of a sudden, his eyes leaving mine as a tortured expression took over his face.

"Not doing a very good job of being like Daddy Dearest then am I?" he retorted bitterly, his mouth a grim line. I sighed, knowing that Jake's words, even though said merely to provoke a reaction, would have cut Joey more deeply than he would ever like to let on.

"You're not like him, Joey," I assured him, stroking my fingers through his hair softly, trying to get him to look at me again. "You're nothing like him, and you never will be." When he still didn't respond after a good minute, I ran my hands down over his broad shoulders, trying to suppress a shudder as I did so; the feeling of how muscular and powerful he was doing things to me which were entirely inappropriate for the topic of conversation.

_Get a grip, girl._

Moving from his shoulders, I splayed my hands against his solid chest as I rolled myself over him, my thighs coming to rest either side of his waist so that I was practically straddling him, my fingers grazing over his toned stomach muscles as I steadied myself. I genuinely hadn't meant for the movement to have resulted in quite such a sexual pose, but no matter; at least I had his attention now, his gaze fixed onto mine as I looked down at him.

_When I said get a grip, I didn't mean like that._

_Oh, shut up._

"Listen to me, Joey," I began authoritatively, reaching for his hands and entwining our fingers tightly. "Remember when I first got here and you promised me that we wouldn't turn out like our parents?" He nodded at me, his jaw clenched, a still somewhat guarded look in his eyes. "Well, I'll second you on that promise. You make sure I don't turn into my mum, and I'll spend every day proving to you that you have _never_ been and _never_ will be like your dad, yeah?"

Joey still didn't say anything, but I could see from the look in his eyes that I was starting to get through to him. I gave his fingers a squeeze and had to physically stop myself from grinding against him as he brushed his thumb over the inside of my wrist, sending sensations to the pit of my stomach.

_What is wrong with you?_

Shaking myself out of my crazed nonsense, I swallowed my pride and suppressed the part of me which shies away from being open about my feelings as I continued to try and break down the walls he seemed to have put up. I recited to him all the aspects of his personality which were a million miles away from Derek, all the aspects that I love, until he looked like he believed me, because I can be stubborn like that.

"Maybe you won't believe me till you're a dad yourself," I pondered in an off-hand tone when he had finally held his white flag up and told me to stop with the in-depth break-down of his personality. "Then you'll see how much you're not like him."

"Do you ever think about that?" Joey asked after a minute of comfortable silence, his voice tentative but curious.

"About what?" I asked, re-capturing his gaze and blushing a little as I realised he seemed to have been staring at me. Whilst our conversation had stopped I'd automatically gone back to shamelessly admiring his Adonis-like chest before me, not realising he'd caught me out.

"Having kids," he replied bluntly. I felt my eyes go wide, completely caught off guard by his question, although I shouldn't have been considering it had technically been me that brought the topic up.

"W-with you?" I stuttered, having no idea where he was going with this. I'd never exactly been the maternal type, but then again, I'd never exactly sworn off kids completely. I'd never really given it much thought to tell you the truth.

"With me, with anyone...just in general." He was clearly attempting to go for a general tone, but I could tell from the intense look in his eyes that he was way more interested than he was letting on.

"Um, I don't really..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say. I had this sudden, frighteningly clear image in my head of me and Joey sitting in this exact position, the only difference being that I was pregnant, my stomach huge and round, Joey's hands splayed either side of my bump, his fingers stroking my taught skin softly.

I didn't know what shocked me more about the way it made me feel; the fact it felt so real, or the fact that _liked_ how real it felt. One thing I did know, I wasn't ready for it to actually _be_ real yet.

"I guess...one day...maybe..." I bit my lip; the look on his face was doing strange things to me. His jaw was set, his eyes dark but with this intense eagerness in them that was making my heart flutter. "Do you think about stuff like that?"

"With you?" he asked, smiling ever so slightly as he repeated my words, one eyebrow raised a little. I nodded in response, that image of me being pregnant with Joey's baby infiltrating my mind again, tightening my grip on his fingers reflexively.

Joey dropped my gaze after a moment, his eyes sliding down until they reached my stomach where, disentangling one of his hands from mine, he pushed up the hem of my shirt and splayed his fingers over my skin, much like the imaginary Joey in my head had done. My breath hitched as he did so, a spark coursing through my veins at the feel of his warm palm against my flat stomach, the span of his long fingers almost completely covering my skin. I felt a disconcerting mix of emotions ranging from sheer terror to just pure, head over heels love.

"One day, yeah," Joey said quietly, looking back up at me, a shy smile on his face. It made him look even more heartbreakingly attractive, a fact that made me swoon more than just a little.

"Not yet though," I said, giving him a look that made it clear that although he'd somehow just managed to sell me on something that I'd never really considered before within a few short minutes, I was a long way from being willing to make it a reality.

"Not yet, babe," he agreed, laughing slightly, his hand sliding from my stomach and coming to rest against my thigh, his other hand still clasped in mine.

We sat for a minute lapsed once again into a comfortable silence, me tracing patterns absentmindedly across his solid stomach whilst his hand on my thigh crept higher and higher towards my hip bone until I squirmed against him, looking at him suggestively. He didn't need me to voice the question in my head.

"I thought you had a headache." I could tell he was trying to be serious, but the sly smile creeping over his lips was giving him away. Well, that and a certain part of his anatomy which appeared to be seeking my attention.

"Hmm," I murmured, grinding my pelvis slightly against his crotch and grinning as he groaned, his fingers gripping my thighs. "Y'know, I heard somewhere that having sex is actually a good way of getting rid of headaches..."

Joey laughed, and it was my turn to groan that time, the action having caused him to shift against me, right where I wanted him to be.

"I ain't ever heard that one before, babe," he remarked, his tone illegally smooth, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Don't girls usually use headaches as a way of getting _out_ of sex?"

Throwing him one last devious smile, I leaned down until my lips were at his ear. "I'm not your usual kind of girl, Joey."

"You're not wrong there," he mumbled before capturing my lips with his own. His tongue battled with mine dominantly as his hands slid the shirt off my body, ripping his lips from mine in order to pull the material over my head and throw it over the side of the bed where it was soon joined by the rest of our clothing.

As we both fast became caught up in each other, I managed to triumphantly appreciate that our connection, rather than being damaged by yesterday's drama, seemed stronger and more all-consuming than ever.

_And when the victory dance feels this good, it almost makes the drama worth it. Almost._

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

"I don't care what Alice says, I'm not talking to Mum," I insisted, crossing my arms petulantly as I leaned back against the kitchen counter. Before she'd left for her mum's, I'd caught Alice up with what happened yesterday in terms of the disastrous meeting with my mum and the whole misunderstanding thing. And of course, Alice being Alice, had taken the stance of being sympathetic for me but at the same time urging me to go and see Mum and try to clear the air.

Joey sighed, gulping down the last of his tea before walking over to me and running his thumb down my cheek softly.

"Alright, I don't like saying this very often, but I think that nosey, baby sister of mine might just be right this time," Joey said, pressing a feather-light kiss to my nose before continuing. "Maybe you _should_ just go and talk your mum."

"No," I whinged, pouting, my head turning into his palm as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear which had fallen free from my donut bun. "I don't want to talk to anyone who's that rude to me."

"You don't even want to fight your corner?" he coaxed, stooping down a little so that his face was level with mine. I avoided his eyes purposefully though, knowing his gaze would be all smouldering and intense and I wouldn't ever be able to win against that look. "Not even just a little bit?"

"I have a headache," I tried pathetically; my headache had actually gone, I just felt a bit groggy. My breath hitched as his lips brushed over the sweet spot on my neck before he pulled back and looked at me again.

"Well, in that case maybe we should have some more sex until that headache's gone," he murmured, smirking as he referred back to my warped logic of earlier this morning. I met his gaze finally, returning his smirk, but secretly melting inside.

"Maybe we should," I agreed, running my hands down his t-shirt covered chest, scraping my fingers over his stomach and feeling his muscles clench under my touch.

"Okay," he replied simply, standing up to his full height and taking my hands in his whilst still smirking at me.

"Okay," I repeated, moving to step forward but being halted by his hands. "C'mon then, lover boy, what are you waiting for?"

"I'll make you a deal," Joey said, threading his fingers through mine as he pulled me back to stand in front of him. "You talk to your mum today, and we can get rid of your headache as much as you like later."

I gasped at him, only slightly mocking him. "Are you bribing me with sex?"

"Depends," he began, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Is it working?"

I shook my head at him, half-irritated, half-irrationally-turned-on, before dropping his hands and re-crossing my arms across my chest. It pleased me a little that I caught him glance down at my cleavage as I did so, a flash of lust crossing his gaze.

_Tough luck, baby._

"Fine," I grumbled, hating him because I knew deep down he was right; I would only have to face Mum sooner or later. "Thank God you're pretty," I sighed, pecking his cheek before pushing past him and rolling my eyes as he started laughing, shouting an 'I love you' at me as I left the room to go get ready.

Stupid, infuriatingly attractive boy.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

Joey tipped my chin upwards with his index finger whilst we waited outside the door, forcing me to look up at him rather than scowl straight ahead.

"It's gonna be alright, Lo," he assured me, his easy confidence shining through, despite what we were about to do.

"Pffft, you say that now," I mumbled, groaning as I heard Mum's heels click along the hall inside.

The door opened, Mum's eyes roving over my face straight away, a disappointed frown marring her features.

"Oh, lovely," she remarked sarcastically, rolling her eyes at us she moved to the side to let us pass. "Been letting her get drunk have you, Joey?"

"Oh, yes, hello, Mum," I greeted her before Joey could reply to her ridiculous accusation. "Nice to see you too. And I'm not drunk," I added indignantly.

I _had_ been drunk, I wasn't now. The mistake had been made, I couldn't go back and change it, but I could move on, and as far as I was concerned, everyone else should move on with me.

"I know a hangover when I see one, Lauren," Mum replied coldly before she looked at Joey again, practically sneering at him. "What's wrong with you, eh? Letting her go down that road again?"

Once again, I butted in before Joey could reply, my temper already getting the better of me. "Er, excuse me, but _letting me go down that road again_? Nobody has to_ let_ me do anything. It was _my_ decision to drink, one that I regret more than I can tell you. But I guess sometimes you just have to make the mistake again to prove to yourself that you've learnt from it and know it's a mistake."

Joey squeezed my hand as I spoke, and I glanced up at him to see a proud look in his eye.

"Look, Tanya," Joey said, using his most compelling voice. "We came here to talk to you, not argue with you. So how about we talk and you listen, and you can have your say afterwards, yeah?"

I could tell Mum was a little taken aback by his charming but commanding tone, her eyes widening slightly; apparently she wasn't immune to his charms either, even if she is a cow sometimes.

_Bit harsh._

_Whatever._

"Fine, go through," Mum said, indicating that we should go in the kitchen.

"Where's Dad?" I asked as I pulled a chair out and dropped down into it, coaxing Joey into the one next to mine. I wasn't really looking forward to talking to my dad about this, but it was going to have to be done, and there was no time like the present.

"He's not here," she replied, pursing her lips at me as she sat down opposite. "Surely you know you can't tell your dad about this? He'll fly off the handle."

"Well, I'm not gonna lie about it," I retorted, giving her an icy glare. Joey's fingers grasped mine under the table, the warm pressure calming me a little bit.

"You don't have a choice, Lauren." I could tell from her unwavering tone that she had already made her mind up about this. "Things have just calmed down in this family. I'm not going to let you ruin everything just because you're shacking up with your cousin." She spat the last word, but I chose not to rise to it; I had to expect this.

"And you think keeping more secrets _won't_ ruin everything, do you?" I replied, managing to keep my tone calm, even though in my head I was seething.

"What kind of secrets would they be then, Lo?"

My head snapped up at the same time as Mum groaned, covering her face with her hands as Dad walked through the back door, a confused but slightly suspicious look on his face.

_Well, if I didn't have a headache already, I definitely would do after this._

**A/n**

**Uh oh! Looks like Max is finally about to be let in on the drama too, in true Branning style. Should be fun. ;) **

**Thank you for all of your reviews for the last chapter - you are all seriously just the loveliest. **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter, see you in a few days. x**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/n:**** This is sincere, public apology to lauras1992x. I know I promised this would be up this morning before you went to work, but reality got in the way and this is literally the first opportunity I've had to post. Sorry!**

Chapter 23

"I thought you said you were working," Mum said, turning to face Dad who had come to stand at the kitchen table, leaning is hands against the table top as he looked, or perhaps it was glared, at me and Joey expectantly.

"Left my phone here," Dad explained quickly, not even bothering to glance round at her. "So? Don't keep me hanging will you, eh, Lauren?"

I shifted slightly closer to Joey in my seat, my fingers tightening around his in a bid not to start fidgeting. I took a deep breath, trying not to let the panic I could feel bubbling inside me take over, trying to remind myself that it didn't matter anyway; just because Mum and Dad might not agree, didn't mean I was just going to stop seeing Joey.

_Just tell them. Get it over with._

I mean, at the end of the day, I'd admitted far worse things to them than the fact that I'd fallen in love. But after how Mum had reacted, the prospect of seeing how Dad was going to react suddenly seemed petrifying. For some reason, the words I needed to say seemed much more frightening than telling him, for example, that it was me who ran him over all those years ago.

_Oh God, don't bring that up._

"Lauren, c'mon, just tell me," Dad urged, obviously trying to keep his tone calm, but I knew him too well to know that there was a temper brewing under the surface, a temper I had unfortunately inherited from him. And after the way I'd lost it with Mum yesterday, I was all the more determined to not have any tempers explode.

_Ha. You should be so lucky. Have you forgotten where you are?_

Joey gave my fingers a reassuring squeeze and I lifted my eyes to his deep hazel ones, trying to soak up the knowledge that he was here, that he wasn't running away, and that, y'know, if the shit _were_ to hit the fan and Dad tried to kill me or something, he was pretty good at acting the good cave man boyfriend role.

"Okay," I began, looking at Dad as determinedly as I could. Half of me wished I hadn't told Joey to promise to let me do the talking before we got here; I couldn't seem to get the words out. "Before I tell you, please try and remember all the ridiculously stupid, horrific, wayward things I've done, yeah? How much of a liability I've been and all that stuff. And then compare it to what I'm about to tell you and how much better I am now."

"Lauren, seriously," Dad said, glaring at me.

"Um," I stuttered, clearing my throat. "M-me and Joey are kind of...kind of a thing..."

"Oh for God's sake," Mum muttered, apparently unable to hold her tongue any further. "They're together, Max. They're seeing each other."

I rolled my eyes, tutting, half at Mum, half at myself. _I _shouldn't have stalled so much, and _she _shouldn't have stuck her ore in. From the look of things though, we had bigger problems than that.

I watched as Dad inhaled deeply, closing his eyes briefly before angrily swiping his hand sideways, knocking a glass that had been sitting on the table to the floor, the loud crash making me and Mum jump.

"Max!" Mum cried, moving her chair backwards a little. Dad paid no attention to her though, rounding on Joey, leaning across the table so that he was right in front of him.

"Taking advantage of my daughter, are you, eh?" he growled lowly, his eyes boring into Joey's menacingly.

"Of course I'm not," Joey replied insistently. And even though I was relieved that he, at least, seemed calm and unfazed by Dad's behaviour on the outside, there was a definite current of caution in his tone. "I would never do that."

"She turns up and you think, oh, easy target. Is that it?" Dad continued, sounding angrier by the second now, his fists clenched.

_Oh shit. What if they start fighting? _

"It's not like that, Dad," I insisted over the top of Joey's reply, standing up and walking over to him, trying to bring his attention back to me. Because Joey still had hold of my hand I could feel how tense he was, probably being prepared to pull me out of the way if Dad decided to start throwing more glassware or something. "Please will you just listen? Let us explain. Please?"

"What, you gonna tell me you love her something?" Dad said, glaring round me at Joey.

"You have no idea how much I love her," Joey replied, and the authority and sincerity in his voice rang throughout the room, even Dad not managing to contest him again for now.

Sneering at Joey one last time, Dad pushed away from the table and moved to sit next to Mum, inclining is head at me as if to tell me to continue. Grabbing the opportunity and running with it, barely believing my luck that no one had died yet, I sat down again as I proceeded to tell both my mum and dad the whole story, only glossing over the necessary parts, the way I had wanted to tell it yesterday but had let my temper get the better of me.

Joey at one point brought up the whole Jake situation on Alice's birthday which, although I was worried would open up a can of worms, was a pretty crafty way of showing that he was a vast improvement on my previous boyfriend.

"How come you knew?" Dad asked Mum after a heavy silence had fallen on the room, his tone still laced with anger even if on the surface he wasn't too bad now. I honestly didn't know what was going to happen next. All I did know was that the weight of keeping such a big secret felt amazing to finally have off my shoulders.

"She told me yesterday," Mum replied bitterly. I couldn't help but feel a little bit vindicated; I told her trying to hide it from him wasn't a good idea.

"And you didn't think to tell me?" he snapped, irritation clear in his voice.

"I didn't want to tell _anyone_," she exclaimed. "I mean, this is almost worse than the last time."

"Oh, I see," I said, crossing my arms in irritation, unable to not keep my mouth shut. "So, you'd rather your daughter be with an arsehole who cheats on her, treats her badly, makes her miserable, than with someone who actually loves her?"

"Of course not," Mum snapped, glaring at me. "I'd rather you be with someone who isn't a member of your _own_ family, you silly girl. Do you not see how disgusting it is?"

"Alright, Tan, that's enough," Dad insisted, placing his hand on her shoulder before she shrugged out of his grip.

"Max, are you not listening? Do you not _understand_ this situation or something?" Mum sounded like she completely at the end of her tether. I shared a quick look with Joey, both of us appreciating the irony that of all the drama Mum has taken on the chin, _this_ is what she pipes up about. "They're _cousins_."

"Don't insult my intelligence, Tan," Dad sighed, rubbing his head distractedly. "It's not my dream, is it? But...it's not illegal I guess."

Mum gawped at him for second, looking as confused as I felt. By now I had been convinced that he'd have flipped again, labelled us as disgusting just like Mum had done. It was almost more unnerving this way.

"This is ridiculous," Mum muttered before getting up from the table and leaving the room, slamming the kitchen door behind her.

I couldn't help but stare at the closed door, unreasonably shocked by her reaction; after yesterday, I should've expected it. But her continued reluctance to see that mine and Joey's relationship was a good thing wasn't easy to swallow. We might not always see eye to eye, in fact, we very rarely do, but she was my _mum _after all.

Joey's phone ringing snapped me out of my reverie, forcing me to turn from the door to him as he got up, mumbling that it was work and he would have to take it, giving my shoulder a squeeze as he passed me to get to the back door.

"What are you thinking, eh?" Dad said after Joey had gone, looking and sounding somewhat defeated.

"You're the one who threw a glass in a tantrum," I quipped back, feeling stung by their reaction, even though it was only to have been expected. And I guess, between this, or Jake or Sean telling them, this was the lesser of two evils.

"I'm not trying to hurt you by being with Joey," I told him after a minute of uncomfortable silence, all the bite out of my tone gone now. "I just...I love him, Dad."

He held my gaze for a moment before dropping it and getting up himself, shaking his head as he spoke. "Yeah, well..."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I said, irritated by his vagueness. I'd been so prepared for shouting and screaming that I was almost scared of his subdued reaction.

"I don't know, Lauren," he sighed, opening the kitchen door. "You don't half know how to create a bit of drama don't you? But this? I don't know..."

"Oh yeah, 'cause being in love is just the worst thing I've ever done, ain't it?" I retorted. Why couldn't they see how much better I was? How much stronger I was. Disregarding last night, obviously.

Giving me one last unreadable glance, Dad left, leaving me to torment myself alone in the kitchen.

By the time Joey came back in I'd cleaned up the broken glass, made a cup of tea, better than vodka really, and Mum and Dad had starting arguing in the living room.

_You do surprise me._

I sipped my tea as I tried to drown out their voices, trying to compose myself but struggling; tears were building behind my eyes, my lip wobbling apparently of its own accord. The last twenty-four hours had all just become a bit overwhelming.

I felt Joey come and stand beside me, one of his hands coming to rest against my lower back, his touch immediately calming me.

"Don't cry, Lo," he whispered, reaching out and wiping away a tear which had broken free with the pad of his thumb. "It could've been worse."

When a few more tears escaped, he took the mug out of my hand and placed it on the counter, pulling me into his arms and holding me to him securely as I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck.

"Do you want to just go?" he asked me gently, pressing a kiss to the top of my head as I flinched hearing Mum's voice get louder from the living room.

"C'mon then," he said, leading the way towards the front door, his arm wrapped around my waist, keeping me close into his side.

"Lauren." Dad's voice in the hall behind us caused us to pause at the door. I wiped furiously at my eyes before I turned towards him. I felt like all I ever did recently was cry about things and I certainly didn't want to put that image across to Dad, not when I'd tried to convince them that being with Joey was good for me.

Joey kept his arm wrapped around my waist, the only difference being that it was now around my stomach rather than my back. I leaned into his body, threading my fingers through his where they rested against my side, grateful that he was there; apparently hearing Mum and Dad argue still had the same effect on me it always did, even if I hadn't heard it for a while.

Dad didn't speak straight away, simply standing there staring at my tear stained cheeks before looking up at Joey. I don't know what he saw on our faces, but whatever it was, I could never have anticipated his next words.

"Does he make you happy?" Dad asked me, walking forwards and placing both of his hands on my shoulders, his eyes searching mine intently. He still looked angry, but I got the distinct impression it wasn't with me.

"Yes." I nodded, as a spoke, clenching Joey's hand in mine tightly. Dad just stared at me for a long moment before nodding once, cupping my face with his hands briefly and then stepping back.

"Then I won't stand in your way," he said simply.

"Really?" I breathed, unable to mask the disbelief in my tone. I had been convinced that Dad would be the one to never, ever be able to accept me and Joey. Turns out I was wrong.

"Well, it's not made my day, Lauren, but I just want you to be happy." He shrugged and my eyes practically bugged out of their sockets; I'd never seen him be this...non-confrontational. "And... if Joey's what makes you happy, if it means I never have to see my little girl in a hospital bed ever again, broken, then I'll be happy for you."

I let his words sink in for moment before launching myself forward at him, flinging my arms around his neck tightly like I used to do when I was little and a true Daddy's Girl as his went wound my waist. Joey released his hold on me but kept his hand on my side, apparently not willing to completely let me go.

"If you ever hurt her..." Dad warned over my shoulder, not needing to finish the sentence to get across the sentiment.

"I know," Joey said quietly. "I won't though. I love her."

After a few more seconds, Dad released me, watching Joey guardedly, giving him a pointed but not unfriendly look.

"Don't be too upset about your mum," Dad said looking back at me, inclining his head towards the living room. "She'll come round. She just wants what's best for you."

"This _is_ what's best for me," I insisted. "Can't you see that?"

"I know, I know. It'll be alright," Dad assured me, ever the blindsided optimist. "Look after her yeah? She looks shattered," he told Joey as we opened the front door. Joey nodded, pulling me back into his side.

I had an awkward, lingering pause on the doorstep, wondering whether or not to shout bye to Mum before I decided against it, sniffing indignantly, still feeling bruised by her rejection. I know I could've been the bigger person, but really I think it was pretty big of me not to have just told her she was being a cow.

I mean, if _Dad_ could step up and be reasonable, why couldn't she? Did she not want me to happy? Did she not want me to be okay?

_Maybe she's just annoyed about what you said to her yesterday?_

In my opinion though, if you can't take it, don't dish it out.

I supposed at the end of the day though, I would have to take the good things with the bad. Today could have been an absolute disaster, but thanks to some sort of providence, it hadn't all fallen through. Mum might still have been standing firm against us, but, in the grand scheme of things, that wasn't the end of the world, for now at least.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

"What're you thinking about?" Joey asked me, coming to sit beside me on his bed where I'd been lying, staring blankly at the ceiling whilst he was in the shower. The phone call he'd received at the house was apparently Sharon asking him to come in to work tonight which was a bit annoying but nevermind.

"Just thinking how we crossed a massive bridge today, and wondering how we're actually alive?" I pondered, sighing as he brushed his thumb over my cheek lovingly.

"I have no idea, babe," he said. "I thought your dad was gonna lose it for second though."

"Mm," I agreed, thinking back to his reaction. I couldn't help but feel like we got off way too lightly, or that that was just the calm before the storm, or that once he'd had a chance to think it all through he would change his mind about the things he said to me before we left.

_Stop being such a cynic._

Shaking myself out of my own head, I turned my head towards Joey and greedily appreciated how hot he looked, fresh out of the shower in nothing but a towel tied around his waist. It was ridiculous, or maybe it wasn't, that my stomach still fluttered with lust seeing him like this, just as much as it had done when we were still dancing round each other.

_I am literally never going to get over how attractive this boy is. _

_And how he is all mine. Every ripped inch of him. _

"You look sexy," I told him frankly, reaching out and running my hand down his front, my fingers tracing the ridges of his muscles, feeling them ripple under my touch. I wistfully wished he didn't have to go to work; wanting to just chill out with him after being all serious all day.

_Yeah, chill out. That's what you want to do with him._

Joey laughed, leaning down and kissing me, his lips moving against mine expertly, his arms braced either side of my body. I wound my arms around his shoulders, one of my hands going to the back of his neck in order to pull him closer to me as the other ran down his side, scratching my fingers lightly along his skin.

"I know what you're trying to do," he murmured against my lips, smirking against my skin.

"What would that be then?" I asked innocently, biting my lip and looking up at him as he pulled back a little, turning his head to the side and pressing a kiss to the inside of my wrist.

"You're trying to distract me from getting ready so that I won't go," he explained, his eyes darkening as he pulled my lip out from between my teeth. I knew that always got to him more than he likes to let on.

"Yeah, so?" I said, raising my eyebrow at him. "You bribed me with sex this morning and now you're leaving me all hot and bothered and unsatisfied."

Joey smirked at me, that arrogant smirk that makes my insides squirm, his lips pressing against mine once more.

"I'll make it up to you, baby. You know I will," he murmured before pulling away and standing up, walking over to his wardrobe.

I breathed out sharply, frustrated and definitely not appeased. I had no doubt he could make it up to me and then some, but if he thought he could bribe me with things and then take them away, he had another think coming.

"Nu, uh," I mumbled, pushing the wardrobe door shut with my hand before he could open it properly and squeezing into the space between him and the wardrobe. "No deal."

"You don't want me to make it up to you?" he questioned, his hands coming to rest on my waist, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"I do," I said, placing my hands against his chest whilst desperately trying not to melt under his gaze. "But I want you to do it now."

"Such a bad influence," he muttered, his eyes burning into mine, his nose brushing against mine, apparently determined to keep his lips away from mine for now, although I felt one of his hands creep under my top, his fingers brushing along the slither of skin where my top had ridden up.

"That's why you love me," I whispered, dragging my hands down his front till they reached the top to the towel, my fingers teasing along the ridges of those incredibly sexy abdominal muscles.

"True," he breathed, his forehead falling to mine and his breath hitching as I grabbed hold of the towel and pulled him against me, feeling the tell-tale bulge against my hip.

"You can't tell me you don't want to," I accused, pressing a kiss to his cheek and shuddering slightly as one of his hands slid up my back under my top, his fingers tracing up my spine deliciously.

"If I don't leave soon I'll be late for work." It was an argument but there was no force behind his words. "Sharon will go spare."

"Just tell her your girlfriend had a really, _really_ bad headache," I whispered into his ear, feeling him chuckle at me bringing up my nonsense from yesterday. "Unless of course," I began, mock disappointment in my voice. "You don't think you're up for the challenge...?"

Barely a beat later I suddenly found myself pressed up against the wardrobe door, Joey's lean, solid body pressing me backwards, his lips battling ferociously with mine as he made short work of ridding me of my clothes and ridding himself of his towel.

"Never change, you crazy, beautiful, bad influence, yeah?" he demanded, his voice so husky it did things to my insides it really shouldn't have had the power to do.

I was about to reply but my words turned into a groan as I felt him tease my clit with the head of his impressive length.

"I love you," I whispered, wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders as his hands gripped my thighs, lifting my legs so that they were now round his waist, his body being the only thing keeping my upright.

"Love you too, babe," he choked, burying his face into my neck, sucking on my skin delectably as he pushed into me swiftly, taking both of our breaths away.

It was then, completely consumed in each other, that I knew for sure that it didn't even matter if my cynicism from before turned out to be right on the money. Because I wasn't giving Joey up for anything, and I knew, from the way he had been last night, the way he had been today, the way he was holding me right now, setting every nerve in my body alight, that he felt the same.

_And, yes, maybe he did end up being almost forty minutes late for work, but, selfish as it sounds, at least my "headache" was gone._

**__****A/n**

**I think we can forgive Lauren just this once for being selfish can't we? ;) **

**So, I really struggled with this chapter. The plan was always for Max to have one of his bizarre moments of taking shocking things rather coolly (must be a Branning trait) but when I wrote it I wasn't sure if I liked it. I've changed things round over the week, changed them back, then back again, then back again, until I just had to accept that I would never be happy with it haha. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it reads much easier than it was to write it!**

**Thank you so much for all of your reviews for the last chapter. I know I say it all the time, but they really do mean so much to me and make me smile like an idiot to read. **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter. See you next time! x**

**ps. Please say it's not just me who's still heartbroken after last night?**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

It was just over a week before I heard from Mum again. At first this bothered me, and there were a couple of times when I almost called her to apologise, even though I had nothing to apologise for. But I'd grown out of being a push-over for her guilt trips; I was going to let her come to me this time. And even though I was genuinely glad when she did finally call me, I would have preferred for it not to have been on a Saturday morning, I'm not going to lie.

At first the conversation was bit stunted between us; neither of us wanting be overly-friendly, but at the same time, neither of us wanting to cause another argument.

"Look, I-I'm sorry about last week, darlin'," Mum said eventually, and even though she sounded uncomfortable, I could tell she meant it. "I shouldn't have said some of the stuff I said to you. Your Dad's right, just this once; you have been much happier recently."

"It's fine," I replied, taking a sip of my coffee as I sat down at the kitchen table, wishing I was still upstairs in bed, asleep, all snuggled up in Joey's embrace. I'd had to sneak out of bed and downstairs so as not to wake him when my phone rang. Not that it would've mattered probably, seeing as he sleeps like he's in a coma. "I never expected you to be over the moon."

"I know. It was still wrong of me though," she said, stalling for a second before continuing. "I just... After everything me and your dad have put you through, and everything you went through with Jake, I wanted you to have a nice, simple relationship. And I know that sounds idealistic and stupid but..."

"It's not stupid, Mum," I told her, remembering how Joey had actually brought that issue up himself. "And yeah, it's not the most conventional of relationships, but I love him, Mum. And he loves me."

"That's all I want for you, darlin', at the end of the day," she assured me.

"Did you and Dad argue?" I asked her tentatively. I don't really know why I was asking; I didn't really want to know if they had been.

"Not badly," she said. Although 'not badly' in Mum's terms could well just refer to the fact they were both still alive. "Stop worrying about me and your dad, Lauren. I told you we still have a long way to go. You just focus on your college work."

"Fine," I sighed, rolling my eyes. "And you do realise I don't start college till September right?"

"Yes, I do realise," she replied, mocking my tone, the air apparently cleared between us as the topic moved on to how much Gran had been annoying her recently.

By the time I managed to get her off the phone about an hour had gone by, and yet, when I went back upstairs, I found Joey in the exact same place I left him; sprawled out on his front, taking up way more than his fair share of the bed, his right arm stretched across the empty space where I had been.

Shrugging out of my dressing gown, I crawled back into bed next to him, lifting his arm and letting it fall like a dead weight over my waist as I snuggled into his side, laying my head on the pillow next to his. He grunted as I curled my cold legs over his, turning his head towards mine and cracking one eye open sleepily.

"Why are you awake and freezing?" he grumbled, looking just a little bit adorable with his messy hair and pouty lips and those fucking dimples.

_Seriously. Get over the dimples._

"Mum rang me," I explained, stifling a yawn as I did so. "She apologised for what she said last week."

"What made her change her mind?" He was watching me properly now, the full force of his eyes being quite a lot to take in at such close proximity.

"No idea," I replied, nuzzling my face into the pillow slightly as I shivered, still feeling the effects of being out bed early. To be honest, in terms of Mum's change of mind, I didn't really care about the why at this point; all I cared about was that my relationship with Joey hadn't fallen into the age-old Branning trap of turning good things into absolute catastrophes.

Joey continued to watch me for a few comfortably silent seconds before he tightened his arm around my waist, rolling onto his back and pulling me with him, his arms constricting round me as I settled against his chest.

"Joey, what the hell?" I laughed breathlessly, trying to aim a playful punch at his shoulder but not being able to move my arms; he was literally caging me in.

"I'm warming you up," he said in a tone that suggested I should have automatically have guessed this.

"By suffocating me?" I questioned before pressing a hot, open-mouthed kiss to the dip of his shoulder blade. "I can think of a better way."

I felt Joey laugh beneath me, his arms loosening a little as he flipped us over once more, his solid body now pushing mine into the mattress, smirking at me arrogantly when I moaned a little; he knows I love it when he does that, even if he doesn't get why.

"Is that all you want me for?" he asked me, his lips doing things to my neck that were making me shudder. "Warming you up?"

"Well, yeah," I croaked before clearing my throat, trying to get a grip on my thoughts. "That and, erm...lifting heavy things..." My breath hitched as one of his hands crept under my top between us as I spoke, his fingers brushing over the sensitive skin just below my breasts. "And, erm... Y'know... Looking pretty...and..."

"Making you illiterate?" he interrupted me, grinning as I practically mewled beneath him, his fingers circling one of my nipples as my hips bucked uselessly beneath his, what with his weight still pressing me down.

"If you're gonna warm me up, get on with it, Warmer-Upper Boy," I half-growled, half-choked into his ear, smirking as I licked the shell of his ear and made him shudder.

"Yes, ma'am," he vowed, his nose brushing against mine before crushing his lips to mine, his tongue pushing into my mouth and making me shiver.

And definitely not with cold this time...

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

We did eventually make it out of bed, Joey having finally, but _very_ thoroughly, deemed me warm enough to be allowed to leave, thoughtful boyfriend that he is.

Because Joey had wanted to go to the gym, I decided to spend the day with Alice, feeling a bit guilty for the amount of time I spent with her brother these days rather than with her. Before I had moved here she had been excited that I would be around so that she would have someone to hang out with when Joey was out. However it had ended up being that, even before we got together, I spent more time with Joey than Alice anyway, and when Joey _was_ here I tended to hog all of his attention, especially now.

_Oops_.

Not that I thought she was holding this against me or thinking that I didn't like spending time with her; I just wanted to prove to her that that wasn't the case, just on the off chance that somewhere in the back of her mind this is what she was thinking.

Having been out for lunch with Alice, and actually having had a surprisingly good time, despite my aversion to being quite so conventional, we decided to hitch a ride home with Joey, walking the five minutes round the corner to the gym as opposed to the ten minutes in the other direction to the tube station.

I watched on, more than a little impressed as Alice sweet talked her way into getting us into the building and pointed in the right direction of where Joey was.

_Maybe there's hope for her after all._

And I genuinely didn't mean that in a nasty way; it worried me as much as it worried Joey that she could be a bit naive sometimes, so it pleased me that she could be ballsy when need be.

We ended up in the gym's professional boxing suite where several guys were either sparring or warming up. The two guys nearest to us, one brown-haired, one blonde, stopped as they saw us.

"Alright, Al?" the smaller, brown-haired one asked, smiling at Alice as he walked over to us. They were strangers to me, but apparently not to Alice.

"Have you seen Joey, Anthony?" she replied, and maybe I was just the bad lighting in here, but she definitely seemed to be blushing under this Anthony's gaze.

"He's in the locker room," he said inclining his head towards the back of the room before looking at me. "And you are?"

"This is Lauren," Alice explained, before I could even open my mouth. I raised my eyebrow at her but she wasn't even looking at me; her eyes completely fixed on Anthony."Joey's girlfriend."

"So _you're_ the mysterious girlfriend, are you?" the blonde one asked suddenly, walking over to us, his eyes blatantly giving me the once over. I suddenly kind of wished I hadn't worn such low-cut dress, even though it was my favourite.

"Maybe." I shrugged nonchalantly to match my tone, inwardly feeling just a bit grossed out by the guy's lack of tact.

"What brings you in here then?" he asked me, taking another step closer to me, his eyes scanning over my cleavage once again and leering a little. You'd have thought we'd made it clear what we wanted by asking where Joey was, but apparently that's a little too complicated for this one.

"Oh, well, y'know," I said, narrowing my eyes at him. If he moved any closer he was gonna get a slap. "Just thought I'd come and see what the local cave men get up to of an afternoon."

"It's the sport of kings, Lauren," Anthony interrupted, his tone friendly enough, but clearly trying to diffuse the small amount of tension he had obviously sensed.

"Yeah, moron's more like." I gave the blonde boy one last withering look before stepping away from them and starting to walk on the direction Anthony had indicated before. "He's in there is he?"

"Yep," he confirmed, turning his attention back to Alice. The blonde boy meanwhile had sulked off to the other end of the room.

_Good riddance, creep._

"You coming with me, Al?" I asked her, looking at her over my shoulder, although I pretty much knew the answer already; it was like she'd forgotten I was there.

"Nah, I'm good. I'll catch you up," she mumbled, not even sparing me a glance.

_Definitely crushing. Bless her heart._

Chuckling to myself at Alice's antics, I pushed the door of the locker room open, throwing the blonde boy, and one or two others, one last disgusted glare as I caught them staring at me, their eyes _way _too far south for me to be cool with it, before I walked in, letting the door slam behind me.

"Oh no, did I miss the show?" I whined, pouting as my eyes took in Joey just pulling on his t-shirt, catching a glimpse of his washboard abs. Joey looked up at me in surprise, his eyes darkening as he took in my attire. He held out his hand to me as I sauntered over to him, pulling my flush against him once I was in his reach.

"You look far too good to be in here, babe," he said, his voice a little husky.

"Yeah, this dress seems to be quite popular out there too," I murmured, sliding my arms around his shoulders and running my fingers through his wet, recently-showered hair. Joey's hands went to my waist, looking down at me intensely, his jaw locked.

"I can imagine," he mumbled, a flash of anger flitting through his eyes.

"Yeah, you'd think they'd never seen a pair of legs before," I said, rolling my eyes. Joey didn't react at first, simply continuing to stare down at me intensely before he _literally_ growled, his hands tightening at my waist.

"You're mine." The tone of his voice coupled with the look in his eyes sent flames straight to the pit of my stomach, my pulse racing.

"And you're mine," I replied, levelling his gaze with my own, my hands fisting into the front of his t-shirt as his lips descended onto mine.

I squeaked in surprise as Joey pushed us backwards until my back was against the front of the lockers, his hands travelling over my body frantically, his lips moving against mine ferociously.

"I want you, Lo," he breathed, pulling back just enough to look at me, one of his hands cupping my face gently. "I need you. Now."

"In here?" I asked, glancing nervously at the door which Alice, or any of those other guys, could walk through at any second. I couldn't decide whether that scared me or excited me more. "What if Alice comes in?!"

"We'll be quick," was his only reply, his crotch grinding against mine, both of us groaning at the contact.

"Joey," I hissed as his fingers found their way under my dress, brushing over my knickers firmly.

"You're already wet, baby," he murmured, his lips under my jaw, kissing, nipping and sucking. I breathed out sharply, scraping my fingers through his hair, knowing he had already won this battle but worrying that Alice would walk in.

"Quick then," I whispered, shuddering as he hooked his fingers over the top of my knickers and pulled them down roughly, hitching my legs up so that they were around his waist. "But make it good," I added, smirking at him.

"Always, baby," he replied, groaning gutturally as he pushed into me swiftly, his fingers gripping my hips with delicious pressure.

"J-Joey," I breathed, tightening my hold on him as his thrusts increased in speed. I could already feel my orgasm building fast and I knew that, even if someone did walk in, I probably wouldn't be able to stop, neither of us would. "I'm close," I told him, feeling my walls start to clench on him.

Joey let go of one of my hips, his fingers brushing over my stomach before he pressed his thumb onto my clit firmly, causing my hips to buck as I teetered on the edge of ecstasy.

"Let go, baby," he grunted, his lips muffling my moans as my orgasm hit powerfully, feeling Joey pulse within me as he followed me over the edge.

It took several minutes for us both to calm down, my legs still shaking a little as he set me down gently. He straightened himself out and then pulled my knickers back up my legs before reaching up and cupping my face, kissing me lovingly, both us laughing a little at the fact that we'd just got away with having impromptu, jealousy-fuelled sex in a locker room.

"Wait," Joey said once we were ready to leave, pulling me backwards and sliding his zip-up hoodie over my shoulders, the material drowning me as per usual. "That's better."

"Marking your territory, are you?" I raised an eyebrow at him suggestively, pulling the fabric round me.

"Of course," he said as he slung his arm over my shoulder, pulling me into his side possessively as we left the room. I would've been offended by his ridiculous display of testosterone if I didn't know I had an equal hold over him. Plus, it turned me on a bit, not going to lie.

"Why is my baby sister taking to Ant?" I followed Joey's gaze until my eyes landed on Alice who was now sitting on one of the benches with Anthony, definitely flirting.

"She's allowed to talk to boys, Joey," I said, rolling my eyes. "Don't go and embarrass her by being all overbearing. And anyway, he seems alright." I was only basing this statement on the fact that he was one of the few guys in here who hadn't tried to undress me with their eyes, but whatever.

"Hmm," he grumbled, sounding thoroughly unconvinced.

"Oh good, you found him," Alice chirped brightly as we reached her, springing up and smiling at me, her cheeks still a bit pink. It didn't escape my notice that she seemed to be purposefully avoiding Joey's gaze.

"Yep, I err...found him," I replied, willing myself not to laugh. She didn't need to know I'd done more than just find him. Thank God for Anthony distracting her so much she hadn't even noticed how long we'd been gone. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," Alice said, giving Anthony a brief hug before walking out ahead of us. I felt Joey stiffen beside me and nudged his foot with mine. I wasn't going to let him give Alice a hard time after what he'd just done with me.

"It was nice meeting you, Lauren," Anthony said, smiling at me before nodding self-consciously at Joey, looking a bit scared if I'm honest.

"C'mon then, Cave Man," I urged, pulling him forward before he could say anything to Anthony. "What am I gonna do with you, eh?"

"I can think of a few things," he muttered, pressing a kiss to the top of my head, laughing softly.

_You and me both, baby._

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

Whilst Joey was watching TV downstairs, Alice pulled me into her room in some sort of panic. At first I thought she was going to call me out on mine and Joey's locker room shenanigans, but then I realised she could've done that anywhere; it didn't need to be some big secret.

"I need you to help me pick out a dress..." I noticed her cheeks bloom pink as she spoke, her words tumbling together, and I raised my eyebrow at her, smiling cheekily.

"Tell me everything," I insisted, patting the bed and urging her to sit down next to me. Alice hesitated for a second before nodding and coming to sit beside me, explaining how Anthony, who apparently was actually one of Joey's friends from years ago, hence why she knew him, had asked her on a date tonight.

"What if I embarrass myself?" she asked me after she'd reached the end of her tale, sighing.

"Alice, seriously." I gave her a stern look as I spoke, nudging her shoulder with mine. "You'll be fine."

"You think so?" She looked up at me, the confident girl from earlier all gone.

"I know so," I told her, staring her down until she looked like she believed me.

"Drink or no drink?" she questioned after a few minutes contemplation.

"Bit of Dutch courage never did any harm," I replied, shrugging. I was glad that Alice hadn't made discussing anything to do with alcohol with me awkward ever since she found out the whole story about my issues. "Remember your birthday? You had about five guys eating out of the palm of your hand. It was amazing. I was well proud," I added, winking at her.

"Oh yeah," Alice laughed, looking only a little bit embarrassed. "Although one of them only had eyes for you, not that you noticed..."

"Really?" I thought back to that night and how I had spent most of the time agonising over whether Joey felt the same way as me, my head constantly warring with my heart as I tried to stop my eyes drifting over to him every five seconds. "Yeah...I was a bit, err...distracted."

"That's one way of putting it," she replied, rolling her eyes at me. "Listen, speaking of that brother of mine. Please, please, _please _don't tell him about me and Anthony. Please?"

I stared at her for a second before replying, my common sense in battle with my sympathy for Alice.

"Okay, I won't say anything," I assured her. "But if he asks, I won't lie. You know he'll flip if he finds out we lied."

"I know," Alice said, wringing her hands nervously. "But he'll just go into over-protective mode and I really like Anthony."

"If Anthony's into you enough, a bit of sibling over-protectiveness won't stand in his way; it'll just make him want to prove he's worthy, yeah?" I cringed inwardly at myself; I wasn't used to being the voice of reason.

By the time Alice was ready, we'd managed to keep Joey in the dark. Everything was going well, however, until the doorbell rang announcing Anthony's arrival. I'd been sat with Joey downstairs whilst Alice got her bag ready and had a final panic attack.

"I'll get it!" I shouted as I jumped up from the sofa. Apparently though, Joey had cottoned on to the fact that we'd been up to something and grabbed my hand before I was out of his reach, pulling me backwards, kissing me once, and then flinging me back onto the sofa ungracefully.

"Joey!" I cried, leaning my head back against the sofa as I heard him open the door, half-groaning, half-laughing. It looked like Alice was just going to have to accept that Joey wasn't ever going to be an uninterested big brother.

_Good luck, Anthony._

"Mum!" I heard Joey say, blank surprise in his tone. "What are you doing here?"

_Oh, shit. Forget Anthony. Good luck, me._

**A/n**

**Mostly fluffy chapter with a dramatic doof doof. Hopefully it made you feel better about Joey being a twat, albeit a twat with nice arms, in yesterday's episode?! Worked out quite well that this chapter came after that nonsense. Pfft.**

**Thank you so much for all of your reviews for the last chapter - you are all far too lovely.**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter and see you soon. x**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"Mum?" I heard Alice say as she walked downstairs, sounding just as surprised as Joey. I clumsily stood up from the sofa, running my fingers nervously through my hair, feeling completely taken off guard.

I had spent so much time worrying over what my own family would think (or my side of the family at least), what my own _mum_ would think, that I had stupidly never actually considered how _Joey's _mum might react. How typical that on the day I finally get my mother about as on board as I ever will, I now have to face another maternal challenge.

_How do you know she'll be a challenge? She might be nice._

The problem was though, I actually had no idea whatsoever if Joey's mum even _knew_ about us, a fact that, now I was thinking about it, seemed ridiculous that I had never bothered about before. Joey mentioned his mum so little that it was easy to forget that he had once had another life. And what with the bad memories I was always conscious of bringing to the surface, I never liked to delve too deep into the history.

I started to do a bit of haphazard tidying, fluffing cushions and whatnot before I had to give up, mentally roll my eyes at myself; a neat array of cushions wasn't going to make this experience any less painful.

"What's wrong? Why are you here? What's happened?" I could hear Joey's voice was getting louder and louder as he bombarded his mum with questions whilst I remained frozen to the spot in the living room.

"Nothing's wrong, Joe, would you calm down, please?" Her voice wasn't what I had been expecting, not that I knew what I'd been expecting, of course. Had I thought about it, I probably would have expected her to sound like Alice, but she didn't. She had a calm, even pleasant voice, but it wasn't as girly as Alice's.

"What are you doing here then?" Now that Joey had established there was no emergency, he actually sounded a bit irritated. I wondered if I was about to experience firsthand how strained his relationship with his mum actually was.

"What? Can I not come and see my two babies?" she replied.

"You can, but you don't normally," Joey grumbled. I could hear their voices getting closer and I was desperately trying to decide how to act.

_Just be yourself._

_Yeah, thanks for that._

"Oh don't act like that upsets you, Joey; you'd be horrified if I kept turning up at the door," she pointed out as she walked into the living room followed by her two children.

My first thought upon seeing her was, very inappropriately, to question how _Derek_ could ever have ended up with a woman like her. She about the same height as Alice, with a similar sort of quiet prettiness, but with extremely intense, hazel coloured eyes.

_Guess that's where Joey gets them from then._

"You must be Lauren?" she asked me as she stepped forward. She was smiling kindly but her eyes were definitely scrutinising me.

"Yeah, it's nice to finally meet you...err..." I trailed off, panicking as I realised that not only was it disgraceful that I did not know her name, but I had almost, _almost_, called her Mrs Branning.

_You are an absolute idiot._

For starters, I had no idea if she and Derek had even _been_ married, but most importantly, this was the guy who had literally made her life hell.

Rather than get angry with me however, she laughed heartily at my 'deer caught in headlights' look, walking up to me and taking my hand in hers.

"Call me Karen, sweetie." She chuckled as she dropped my hand and moved to sit in the armchair, grinning at me as she did so. There was an air of casual confidence about her which seemed to be contagious, immediately putting me at ease despite how awkward this should, or perhaps could soon, be.

_Guess that's another thing Joey inherited from her._

"Can I get you a drink or something?" I asked as Joey brushed past me, his fingers dragging against my back as he did so and making me shudder a little. I could only hope Karen didn't notice, although from her raised eyebrow, I had a feeling that ship had already sailed.

"I'm good thanks," she said, watching as Joey flopped back down onto the sofa exactly where he had been before. "I'm not stopping; I just came to drop these off for Joey." She dropped some letters onto the coffee table as she spoke. "I told him to change his address when he moved here ages ago but he didn't listen. And apparently he's been a little too...preoccupied to come and get them recently."

There was humour in her tone, but I still felt myself blush, awkwardly sitting down on the sofa next to Joey and wishing there was some way I could telepathically communicate with him whether or not his mum knew about us, save me all the confusion.

"So, tell me, Alice, do we get to meet the boy who's lucky enough to be taking you on a date tonight?" Karen asked, looking at Alice expectantly who was still loitering near the door.

"How do you know I'm going on a date?" Alice replied, throwing me an uncomfortable glance as she realised, along with the rest of us, that her would-be innocent voice was completely guilt-ridden. Amongst the fact that she was all dressed up, of course.

"She's not going on a date," Joey deadpanned before Karen could reply or call Alice out on her appalling display of coolness. I nudged Joey in the ribs with my elbow, which probably hurt me more than him to be honest, throwing him a warning look.

"Why don't you want her to go on a date?" Karen asked Joey, her tone suggesting she was no stranger to this particular argument.

"She's too good for that idiot." I rolled my eyes at Joey's comment and shook my head at Karen, receiving a wink from her.

"Well, we'll let Alice decide that, I think," Karen replied, waving her hand in the air in a carefree manner.

"Yeah because you have all the answers when it comes to judging people for what they're really like, don't you, Mum?" I inhaled sharply at Joey's vicious comment, the atmosphere rapidly being drowned in an uncomfortable silence which was only broken by Alice.

"What are you talking about?" Joey didn't answer Alice, and avoided her gaze as well as his mum's, one being of confusion, the other of pained regret.

I knew Joey must have been referring to the way in which his mum had refused to go the police about Derek's behaviour, and the fact that she had practically forced Joey into keeping everything that had happened all a secret from Alice. I shuddered inwardly as I thought back to that particular conversation we had had, the night we had run into Sean.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter," Joey mumbled, covering his head with his hands. Joey may not have always been willing to talk about the whole Derek, Karen and Alice triangle, but I knew, without him needing to put it into words, that it still tore him up inside.

As discreetly as I could, still being unsure of where we stood on the whole 'does she know or not?' front, I gently ran my hand up and down over his back, hoping to comfort him somewhat. He remained tense under my touch but did remove his hands from his face, throwing me a soft smile that, although it didn't quite reach his eyes, was enough for now.

For the second time that day, I found myself thankful for Anthony's presence as, before Alice could question Joey any further, the door bell rang once again.

"Right, I'll see you later guys," Alice muttered distractedly after giving her mum a kiss on the cheek, waving at us before fleeing the room, and then the house, in record time, probably before Joey could attempt to drag her back inside.

"She'll be fine, Joey," I told him, leaning over and smoothing his forehead with my thumb, trying to make him stop scowling. "She's going on a date, not joining a harem." I sniggered jokily at the look he gave me, almost moving in to peck his cheek before I realised who else was in the room and that neither of them had been very happy with each other a few moments ago.

Clearing my throat I looked round at Karen who had apparently been watching us intently, her gaze moving to meet mine as it lifted from where my hands were now linked around his elbow.

"So, I believe I owe you a thank you, Lauren," Karen said suddenly, smiling at me, all the tension from the last couple of minutes apparently gone. It was bad enough when Joey did his hundred-and-eighty degree turns on emotions, but to have two of them do it was almost too much for me.

"You do?" I glanced at Joey to see if he was any the wiser but he looked just as confused as me.

"Yes," she replied, sounding serious but not in an accusation way. "For making my son happier than I've seen him in a long time."

"Y-you know about us?" I stuttered. It seemed like a fairly obvious question, but after the way _my _parents had reacted, I couldn't understand why she was being so lovely, thanking me no less.

"I pieced two and two together, shall we say?" When I only looked at her blankly she laughed and began to explain. "When you first moved in here, it was mainly Alice who would talk about you, Joey not really mentioning you much whenever I spoke to him. But then there was one night he came to stay with me randomly, apparently feeling sorry for himself and not explaining why."

I cast my mind back and thought I could guess when it had been. Me and Joey had had another of our should've-been-awkward-but-wasn't, almost-kissing moments after I had revealed a little more about my break-up with Jake. Joey had ended up leaving on a rather abrupt, ambiguous note, cutting himself off from me and telling me I 'deserved better', and not returning till late the next day when I had jealously accused him of sleeping around because it had hurt less to be angry with him than to show him how much I was in love with him.

"The only time I managed to get him animated was to talk about you," she continued, looking at me pointedly. "Which was strange considering I had seen Joey be with lots of girls without really noticing he's with them. And yet he noticed you."

She let her last point linger in the air for a second before speaking again. I took her moment of silence as a chance to glance up at Joey, my glance turning into more like short stare as I noticed he was blushing. _Blushing_. I mean, let's get one thing straight at least; Joey Branning does not blush. Ever. He is unflappable and practically impossible to embarrass, something I learnt immediately after meeting him when he barely batted an eyelid at being crashed-into by a stranger in her skimpy pyjamas in the middle of the night.

_Yes, and by not batting an eyelid he practically turned you into a puddle of goo merely by looking at you._

_Not. Now. _

"Of course," Karen mused, "He never mentioned anything about being in love with you, and neither did Alice for that matter, but I could tell."

"And...you're not bothered about, y'know, the whole cousin thing?" I looked at her sceptically; where was all the screaming and shouting and dramatic door slamming?

"Would you care if I said I was?" Her eyebrow was raised as she spoke, an undeniable hint of Joey in her daring glance.

"No, not really." I didn't much want for her to rise to the challenge, but I made it clear to her that I was being honest with her.

"If you want to be together, be together," she announced simply. "I know once Joey sets his heart on something he won't let go easily, and as long as it's what you two want, that's all that matters."

I felt Joey stiffen beside me again, and where previously I might have thought he was doing so because he had suddenly realised he wanted to jump ship on our relationship, I think I knew what he was thinking, and it was nothing to do with me. Karen's advice was all well and good, and heartfelt as it was, it felt odd to hear it from someone who, from what I had been told, had not practised what she was preaching.

"Don't make the same mistakes I did," she summarised poignantly. Her words forced me to look back up at her, but she was watching Joey, her kind face looking very sorrowful.

Joey didn't reply to her, his only reaction being to nod briefly before linking his fingers with mine, his thumb brushing over mine gently. I squeezed his hand, not needing to say anything to communicate aloud what I was thinking.

Karen left shortly after her intense exchange with Joey, whispering in my ear to look after Joey as she pulled me into a hug by the front door.

"He's not as tough as he looks," she told me, looking at me strangely when I laughed softly.

"No, it's just normally that's what people say about me," I explained quickly. "It's nice that I get to be the tough one for a change."

Karen smiled at me brightly, holding her cheek out for a kiss from Joey before leaving. We stared at each other silently for a minute before I stepped towards him, grasping his arms as his hands came to rest at my waist.

"Well, that was...unexpected?" Joey chuckled a little at my understatement, dropping his forehead onto mine softly. "Your mum's so lovely," I observed. "Is she always that blasé about stuff?"

"Unfortunately, yes," he grumbled. I pulled back slightly, just enough to look at him, trying to read his emotions through his eyes.

"You almost sound like you're disappointed she was okay with it." I knew he wasn't really; I just needed a way to push him to open up to me. It was clear that his parents' bad decisions were still, and possibly would always be, a thorn in his side.

"It's just..." He trailed off, his eyes closing in frustration. "She's such a hypocrite."

"Everyone's a hypocrite sometimes," I told him quietly, letting go of his arms in order to cup his face in my hands, looking up at him sincerely. "When they've done things in the past they regret, sometimes it's unavoidable."

Joey leaned his face into my hands, a smile slowly creeping onto his lips.

"Are you sure you're only nineteen?" he questioned, causing me to laugh, leaning up on my tip toes and pecking his lips. The kiss was brief at first, but, as per usual, we ended up getting a bit carried away.

"C'mon," I breathed, attempting to regain some composure, grabbing his hands and pulling him into the living room. "I've promised to look after you, and you're going to let me, right?"

"With pleasure, babe," he replied smoothly, smirking at me, his dimples well and truly come out to play.

_Charmer._

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

By the time Alice got home, we were sprawled out on the sofa, the end credits of the film we had been watching running over the screen, the remains of our pizza take-out on the table.

"Did you have a good time?" I asked her quietly as she walked in, trying not to disturb Joey who had nodded off beside me, his face pressed into my shoulder. Apparently he didn't find Pretty Woman as enjoyable as I did.

"Yeah, it was really nice actually," she gushed, grinning at me. I laughed, her excitement infectious, quickly stifling it as Joey stirred, his arms tightening round my waist momentarily. "Is he really annoyed with me?" Alice inclined her head towards her brother, sounding genuinely worried.

"Of course he's not, Al," I assured her. "He was just looking out for you. If my big brother was still here he would more than likely do the same."

"Sorry, I forgot about that," Alice said, sounding a bit mortified.

"Don't be." I smiled at her genuinely. "I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty; I just didn't want you to hold it against him, as annoying as it can be."

"How did it go with Mum?" she asked, slipping her shoes off. "What was all that about with Joey?"

"Oh, it was fine, she was really nice." I was trying to make sure it didn't sound like I was secretly panicking; completely uncomfortable with her question. It definitely wasn't my place to delve into this particular drama. "I think he was just in a bad mood or something. They were fine by the time she left."

"Typical," Alice muttered, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, I'm going to bed. Night night."

"Night," I replied, smiling at her half-heartedly as she closed the door quietly behind her. I couldn't exactly defend Joey to her without telling her the whole story, but I didn't want Alice to think he was just being a dick for no reason.

While I was pondering my position between a rock and a hard place, Joey stirred again, nuzzling his face into my neck, his breath warm against my skin. I trailed my index finger softly over the curve of his bicep and up over his shoulder, laughing as he rolled it under my touch.

"Lo," he grumbled, snuggling against me.

"Ha, your mum's right," I whispered, brushing my fingers through his hair softly. "You're not as macho as you look."

"Is that right?" he mumbled after a beat, his lips finding the sweet spot on my neck and sucking the skin gently into his mouth, smiling against me as I moaned, unable to not react to his ministrations. "I'm definitely going to have to do something about that then."

Sitting up suddenly, he pulled me up with him, his hands gripping my waist as he easily flung me over his shoulder. A shriek of laughter escaped my lips, not having been expecting the movement, squirming as his hands gripped the back of my thighs firmly as he began to walk us upstairs, apparently very committed to ensuring that I knew he was macho and then some.

_And normally I don't appreciate being proved wrong, but I think this time I'll make an exception._

**A/n**

**I think I'd make an exception in that situation too, don't you? ;) So Joey's mum took it all quite well, but do you think she still would've done if she didn't feel so guilty towards Joey? Do you think Alice will drop her questions towards Joey and their mum?**

**Thank you so much for all of your reviews for the last chapter. I always love to know what you think. :)**

**Hope you liked the chapter. Our favourite bitchy twiglet makes another appearance in the next one. ;) Enjoy the sunshine. x**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

"Lo." Joey's voice right by my ear pulled me abruptly out of sleep. "Babe, wake up."

"What?" I grumbled, pushing my face into the pillow, not wanting to wake up. "What time is it?"

"Half eleven. I'm going for a run, babe. Won't be long," he informed me, his lips pressing a lingering kiss to my forehead gently. "There's a tea there for you if you want it."

I cracked one eye open, seeing the aforementioned mug of tea sat on the bedside table. I groaned, pushing myself up and blinking blearily at Joey as he pulled on a hoodie.

Even half asleep I could appreciate for the billionth time how much it wasn't fair how good he looked in running gear. It really wasn't. Especially when he had a bit of that morning stubble on his jaw; it made him look even more rugged and I liked it more than I probably should have done.

"Are you working later?" I asked him, sighing when he nodded.

"I shouldn't be back late, babe. It's a private birthday party." Joey grabbed his keys as he spoke and opened the bedroom door. "Right, see you in a bit."

"Enjoy your run," I said, yawning and stretching my arms over my head. I smiled crookedly as his eyes roved over my skin where my top had ridden up, raising my eyebrow at him. "Or you could just stay here with me?"

"Stop tempting me," he murmured, tearing his eyes away from me and winking at me before he shut the door quietly behind him.

Whilst I sipped my tea, Joey's mention of a birthday party brought me back to what I had been worrying about for a few days now. My birthday wasn't far away now, and I was having mixed emotions about the prospect of it.

I notoriously detested my birthday; always feeling there was far too much expectation to enjoy yourself even when you're not. Everyone walks on pins to please you, when by doing so it only irritates you even more. Well, that was my experience of birthdays anyway.

Last year I had been with Jake on my birthday, the date having fallen just a couple of weeks before it all went horribly wrong. He had taken me out for a meal at some tacky restaurant before we met up with the rest of the gang and went out properly. As always happened with them, I ended up drinking too much, arguing with everyone, and having a generally shit time.

And even though I had no doubt nothing like that would happen now that I was away from them all, and even though I had a boyfriend who actually loved me and cared for me, I still just couldn't bring myself to want to celebrate my birthday with him. It was nothing personal to Joey; the issues were all mine.

I wasn't even sure if Joey _knew_ when my birthday was. I had never told him, and he hadn't known me for any of my other birthdays. But Alice had, and I wouldn't put it past her to have told him.

I couldn't decide what would be worse: doing something for my birthday but possibly hating every second of it, as I always do, or not doing anything at all and risking the awkwardness of Joey finding out, should Alice remember.

Fifteen minutes later I was in the shower and still fruitlessly mulling over what to do when an extremely loud shriek just outside the bathroom door snapped me out of my own head.

"Oh my god!" Alice cried, loud bangs against the door making me jump, the shampoo bottle slipping out of my hands. "Lauren! Lauren!"

"What?!" I yelled over the top of her screeching as I fumbled with the taps, turning off the water and clumsily stumbling out of the bath, pulling a towel around me as I went. Unlocking the bathroom door, I pulled it open to find Alice stood on the other side looking horrified. "What's going on?!"

"Spider!" she breathed, grabbing my forearm and pulling me into the hallway. I blinked at her, trying to make sense of the situation as I ensured my towel was still tied securely with my other hand.

"Huh?" I replied, the panic that had set in when I had heard her first shriek dying down as I realised we weren't in some sort of imminent danger, which was good for many reasons, the main one for me being that I didn't really like the idea of fighting off an axe-murderer in nothing but a bath towel. Just looking at the big picture, obviously.

Rather than answer me, Alice merely pointed to the floor between her room and mine, where my eyes finally landed on the biggest spider I have ever, _ever_ seen. "You have to get rid of it!"

"How did you come to that conclusion?" I asked grimly. I didn't exactly have an insane phobia of spiders, but there was not a chance in hell that I was touching, or going anywhere near that one.

"Well, Joey's not here, and _I_ can't do it!" she exclaimed, her eyes never leaving the spider.

"And what makes you think I can?!" Any spider with legs as long as my fingers wasn't going to be dealt with by me, that was for sure.

"What are we gonna do then?!" I prised my arm out of her vice-like grip as she spoke, rubbing gently at where her nails had dug into my skin.

"Alright, just...just chill out for a sec, yeah?" I popped my head into the bathroom, trying to find what I was looking for. "We're gonna have to get it in some sort of glass, or box, or something... How about this?"

I showed her the glass I had managed to reach for, sighing as I realised it wasn't anywhere near wide enough to fit over the spider's legs. The thought made me shudder.

_Okay, maybe I'll take it back. I am scared of spiders._

Just as I moved to put the glass back, Alice screamed again, causing me to scream as well as I looked back round to see the spider run across the carpet towards us, only stopping when, in a panic, I threw the glass at it. Well, five inches to the right of it.

"What the hell's going on?!" Joey's voice came from downstairs, the front door slamming behind him.

We both screamed again as the spider moved again, both us backing further away from it. Joey's footsteps sounded up the stairs, his face transforming from anxiousness to amusement as his eyes found us cowering away from a spider.

"Are you two serious?" he asked, rolling his eyes at us. "I could hear you from outside, I thought you were being attacked or something."

"We _are_ being attacked! Get rid of it!" Alice replied, causing Joey to laugh, shaking his head.

"I could have fun with this," he mused, grinning at us. And as much as I enjoyed a good laugh, the spider had started to move again and Alice had resumed her gripping of my arm.

"Joey, I swear to God, if you don't get rid of that _thing_, I will kill you," I warned him. "I'm freezing 'cause I was half way through my shower, I'm only wearing a towel and Alice is about to rip my arm off over here."

"Alright, alright, calm down, babe," Joey coaxed, leaning down and easily scooping the spider up into his hands as if this was a completely normal thing to do. "I'll chuck it out the window. Unless you want to look at it first, Al?"

"Joey!" Alice shrieked, and even I had to laugh as she shielded her eyes as he held his cupped hands out to her face, moving as if he was going to lift the top one off the spider. He laughed loudly, as he walked past us into Alice's room and deposited the spider out of her thankfully already-open window.

"You're welcome," he mocked, still laughing as he left the room, unaffected by Alice's dark scowl as she swept past him, mumbling a thank you and slamming the door behind her. I got the distinct impression this had happened before.

I looked up at Joey, returning his smile as I admired how good he looked, his cheeks still a bit pink from his run, realising anew how much I liked his stubble.

"Is this a new style?" he asked, smirking at me as he stepped towards me. "'Cause I like it." One of his hands fisted into the material of my towel, whilst the other moved my still soaking wet hair over my shoulder. I shuddered, partly from the cold water now dripping from the ends of my hair down my back, partly from the smouldering look in his eyes. Mostly from his eyes, if we're being honest.

"Ha! You wish, baby." I smirked, sliding my hands over his muscular chest. He moved in even closer to me, the pad of his thumb swiping at a stray drip of water that had been slowly creeping across my collar bone. The gesture, simple as it was, made my pulse spike all the same.

"I do wish," he murmured before he leaned in, his lips capturing mine. I moaned a little as he sucked my top lip into his mouth, my knees going weak, his hand sliding to my lower back and pulling me against him.

"I should get back to my shower," I mumbled slightly incoherently as his lips travelled down my neck, insanely talented at what they did, as always. "Now that the big spider problem is sorted..."

"Mm," he hummed. His lips touched the hollow of my throat, but I felt the sensations much further south than that.

_Honestly, anyone would think you never have sex._

"Maybe you could help me sort a different kind of big problem?" he asked, grinding his hips against mine slightly, his eyes boring into mine and practically melting me on the spot. I smirked at his cheesy line but inside I was so ready to jump him then and there, and he knew it too.

"Maybe I could..." I began, winding my arms round his neck more tightly.

"Guys, I can hear you, and I really, _really_ don't want to," Alice called from her room suddenly, interrupting my next train of thought.

"Hard luck, babes," I whispered in Joey's ear, laughing softly as he groaned at my unintentional pun. I pressed a comparatively chaste kiss to his lips before pushing him away as I turned to the bathroom once more. "Tell you what, you can go and make me some breakfast to take your mind off it."

"I don't work here y'know," he replied, amusement in his tone.

"Really? You don't?" I replied, grinning cheekily at him. "What with all this spider-catching and room service, I just assumed..."

"Yeah, yeah. Go and have your damn shower, Lo," he said, beginning to make his way back downstairs. "Call me if you need any assistance, yeah?" he called as an afterthought, turning as he spoke and smirking at me.

_You did not just go weak at the knees again. Get a bloody grip. _

"Please don't, Lauren. I beg of you," Alice muttered, giving me and Joey a withering look as she came out of her room, shooing her brother down the stairs in front of her.

"Sorry, Al," I laughed, deciding that, despite my apology, I would get her back for this one day.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

"It smells heavenly in here," I mused as I walked in the kitchen, the smell of bacon making my stomach rumble voraciously. "Can't believe you actually cooked for me, Joe," I said, winding my arms around his waist from behind.

"I didn't; this is all for me, babe," he replied nonchalantly, turning in my arms and pressing a quick kiss to my forehead as he lifted two plates over my head in order to place them on the table.

"You made yourself food but put it on two different plates? That's logical," I mused sceptically, pouting at him as he moved out of my arms and sat down, pouring a ridiculous amount of brown sauce onto his sandwich. "You'll drown your food in that if you're not careful."

"Are you gonna comment on my condiment preferences every time we eat, eh?" He pushed the chair opposite him out with his foot and inclined his head towards it, motioning for me to sit down. "Now shut up and eat."

"Very romantic," I snorted, grinning at him gratefully as I fell into the chair, pulling the second plate towards me hungrily.

"Well if I _had_ done it all romantically you'd have gone all prickly and uncomfortable like you always do whenever people do something spontaneously nice for you," he explained, looking at me frankly.

I blushed a little under his gaze, unable to deny his frighteningly accurate observation, especially after my internal argument over how to deal with my birthday this morning. He was absolutely right; I was famously bad at taking compliments, or accepting a nice gesture. I just wasn't used to it.

It wasn't that my childhood had lacked people being nice to me or doing nice things for me; I just wasn't used to it being done so genuinely. In past experiences, good things had been done or said to compensate for bad things that were also being done or said at the same time. And as messed up as it sounded, I wasn't going to get over that over night, possibly ever.

I thought I had been better at hiding it, but apparently Joey had very much cottoned on the fact that I dealt with his arrogant, sexy side better than his romantic one. Don't get me wrong, I loved his romantic side more than anything, but sometimes the self-depreciating part of me struggled with it; constantly feeling like I wasn't worth it.

"Thank you," I said quietly, looking up at him shyly. A small, genuine smile lit up his face, a smile he doesn't give very often, and it let me know that he knew I wasn't just thanking him for the breakfast, or for getting rid of spiders, but for just being there in general.

Alice popped her head round the door just as we finished eating, informing us that she was going to her mum's for the day.

"Tell her I said hi," I said, getting up and placing my plate in the sink.

"I will," Alice replied. "What shall I tell her _you_ say, Joey? Something sarcastic no doubt?"

"Alice!" I turned sharply, giving her a disapproving look. It had been a few weeks since the day Joey's mum had been round and they had shared that awkward moment, and even though Alice seemed to have accepted my explanation of Joey simply being in a bad mood at the time, she had started again with her questions.

"Well, they always end up arguing and I want to know why!" she exclaimed.

"Just go, Alice, if you're going," Joey said, sounding somewhere between upset and angry.

"Maybe you should just tell her the truth, Joe," I suggested gently once Alice had left, leaning against the kitchen counter. I was very aware that it wasn't my place to make suggestions, but I didn't want Derek to once again drive a wedge between Joey, Alice and their mum.

"How can I? After all this time? How can I spoil everything for her?" Joey's eyes were pained as he spoke, a million miles away from his light-hearted, teasing countenance from earlier on.

I sighed and walked over to him, sliding my arms around his broad shoulders, my arms crossing over his front as I hugged myself to him, pressing my lips to his cheek softly.

"Love you," I told him, not knowing what else to say, hoping that that was enough. Joey's hands found my forearms, holding me to him.

"Love you too, babe," he said quietly. "So much."

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Seeing as though Joey was working from early afternoon and Alice was out, I decided to go and see Mum who had been pestering me for the last few days to go and have lunch with her. And even though I got there later than I told her I would, Joey's fault, not mine, she still wasn't ready.

"Can you get that for me, darlin'?" Mum shouted from upstairs as the doorbell rang.

"What happens when both me _and_ Abi aren't here? That's what I want to know," I grumbled, rolling my eyes as I trudged unwillingly into the hallway. "I mean, does the door just never get opened? Is that how it-"

My words trailed off as I swung the door open, my good mood from only moments ago quickly evaporating as I my eyes fell on who it was.

_You should've taken a leaf out of your parents' book. Next time, don't answer the door._

"What do you want, Lucy?" I hoped I was making it clear as I glared at her apathetically that I didn't really want to know, and that the sole correct answer would be to simply say nothing, turn around, and toddle off back to whatever hole she had crawled out from.

Because honestly, I would rather spend my time with the spider from this morning.

"Can I come in?" she asked quietly, her blue eyes imploring me. Surely she knew by now that she couldn't use the innocent, Puss-in-Boots look with me? "Please?"

"Why?" I repeated, somehow managing to resist the urge to slam the door in her face. Maybe it was the fact that, for the first time in a long time, there wasn't a snide expression on it. Or maybe I was just growing up.

"I just want to talk to you," she said sincerely. Although last year had taught me otherwise; I was fairly sure she didn't have a sincere bone in her body.

"Fine," I sighed after a prolonged moment of awkward silence, moving aside so that she could come in. As much as I didn't want to talk to her, a small part of me was curious about why she was here, in spite of everything.

"I brought you a hot chocolate," she explained as she followed me into the living room, placing a take-out cup on the table in front of me somewhat nervously. "It's your favourite, with the marshmallows and the sprinkles."

I just stared at it at first, unsure what to make of the gesture. All Lucy had brought me recently was upset and set of swollen knuckles on my left hand when I had clocked her one after finding out she had slept with Jake.

"Why?" I asked, unable to remove the harshness from my tone as the memory infiltrated my mind.

"Because...I-I miss you," she replied, sounding for the first time in a long time like she genuinely meant it. I couldn't help but scoff though, not trusting her as far as I could throw her. She may have been my best friend at one point, but best friends don't act like she did.

"Not spiked this drink as well, have you?" I spat, feeling my walls very much go up. I knew she probably wouldn't have dared do that again, but I just couldn't resist bringing it up. It felt a bit hypocritical bringing up shit from the past when she seemed to be trying; I knew how annoying that was, but she deserved it. Whatever.

"Of course not!" Lucy insisted, looking suitably put in her place. "I just..."

"Just what?" I provoked, meeting her eyes fiercely.

"I wanted to say sorry," she blurted out in a rush, her words merging together as she tried to swallow her pride. Apologies from Lucy Beale? Somewhere out there there's a pig flying.

"For what exactly?" I asked, sighing. This apology, if it was genuine, felt like it was way too late. "For being a cow? For being a rubbish best friend? For lying? For sleeping with my boyfriend? For acting like it was no big deal? I can go on..."

"I'm sure you can." She grimaced as she spoke. "And I deserve it. I _was_ a cow. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I dropped her gaze, experiencing a strange mix of emotions. On the one hand, these were the words I wanted to hear, or had wanted to hear at one point at least. But on the other, her supposed repentance irritated me; it was almost as though I had started to enjoy hating her.

_You've definitely not enjoyed hating her, don't be ridiculous._

Maybe enjoyed was the wrong word. Maybe it was more that I had just got so used to hating her, I simply didn't want to stop now. I had never shied away from the blame for a lot of the drama I caused myself and my family, but it was easy to use Lucy as a scapegoat sometimes, even if a large chunk of the blame did genuinely lie with her too.

Whilst we both stood in silence, I heard Mum finally come downstairs, walking into the living room and stopping as she saw us.

"Oh, Lucy, it's you!" Mum said, taking in the tense atmosphere in the room. "I'll just leave you to it then," she mumbled, making herself scarce as she retreated back into the hall.

Moving round the coffee table, I picked up the drink and sat down; I wasn't going to let a free drink go to waste. I couldn't help but smile a little as I lifted the lid; the sprinkles reminding me of happier days when everything was a lot more simple, when my most difficult decision of the day was what kind of sprinkles to get on my hot chocolate, and I had a best friend who wasn't trying her hardest to be my worst enemy.

Lucy tentatively sat down on the opposite end of the sofa to me. I continued to ignore her for a while, sipping at my hot chocolate every now and then, contemplating. I probably should have been contemplating what to say next to Lucy, but instead my mind had wondered to Joey. Hot chocolate was no longer the thing I associated with Lucy; after that first night at Joey and Alice's, my first night of a fresh start, mine and Joey's hot chocolate-related conversations had given the drink a new connotation for me.

"You're better off without him," Lucy announced, completely out of the blue.

"Sorry?" I had still been re-living my first encounter with Joey, and so wondered if I'd missed something. "Better off without who?"

"Jake," Lucy said, pulling a face as she said his name. "You were always too good for him."

"D'you think so? Is that why he crawled into bed with you? A more level playing field on the standards front." It was below the belt, but I couldn't stop the words. Lucy sighed, wringing her hands.

"I don't have an excuse for sleeping with him, Lauren. I was stupid and jealous and if I could take it back, I would." She held my gaze as she spoke quietly. I couldn't help but question her motive for her sudden change of heart.

"That's not what you said last time I saw you. On my dad's birthday when I came to visit," I reminded her when she looked confused. "What is it you told me to do? Get over it?"

"I know," she said, looking guilty. "I shouldn't have said that. I guess I was just annoyed because I realised that everything I had done out of jealousy hadn't made me feel any better. I realised I had screwed up and I took it out on you. Again."

I didn't really know what to say to that. I wasn't going to tell her she was wrong, but I also didn't want to stick the knife in any deeper. Because I understood that feeling, even if my experience of it was under very different circumstances.

"My back hurt your knife, did it?" I said eventually, although I managed to keep some of the scorn out of my voice. I wasn't a monster; if she was apologising, I would at least meet her half way, even if hadn't forgiven her yet. "So how come you realised Jake's an arsehole? Other than the obvious."

"I heard about what he did in the Vic a few weeks ago." At first I didn't know what she meant, until I realised that the last time I had been in the Vic had been when me and Joey, well, just me really, had had a little misunderstanding, and I had run off to Walford and slipped off the wagon briefly. "Kat said she saw you with Jake and it looked like he was hurting you. She said she was just about to go over when your boyfriend turned up...?"

I looked up at her as she trailed off. I knew Lucy well enough to know that her question wasn't just about whether or not Kat's story was true, but who this boyfriend was.

_Well, this should be interesting._

I wasn't going to lie to her, but I also didn't want to just lay everything out for her. I had no idea how she would react to finding out that I was actually dating the guy who I had introduced as my cousin and who she definitely took more than a little interest in.

"Yeah..." I shrugged at her, non-committal. "Well what else do you expect from him? He's scum."

Lucy didn't say anything at first, clearly deliberating whether to ask or not. We both knew she was going to though; Lucy can't resist gossip, even when it's boring.

_I doubt she'll find this boring._

"So who is he? Your boyfriend," she hedged, attempting to sound uninterested, but failing miserably.

"Why? You looking to get your claws into this one too?" I questions, raising my eyebrow at her.

_I would love to see her try._

"No, Lauren," she replied solemnly. "I'm not gonna behave like that again. I promise." When I looked at her sceptically she sighed, getting up and making as if to leave. "I should go. I'm sorry, again. Maybe one day you'll forgive me..."

"It's Joey," I said suddenly. I don't know what made me speak, I really don't. It could've been the genuinely sad look on her face, it could've been my determination not to hide my relationship anymore, or maybe I was just losing the plot. But I'd told her, and there was no going back now. "You met him."

"Joey?" she repeated, frowning a little as she slid back onto the cushions. "But...isn't he your...cousin?"

"Technically...yeah..." I began, testing her reaction. When she only looked shocked, nothing more distasteful, I proceeded to explain to her how it had all happened. And as I spoke, it almost felt like we were still best friends, like all the drama hadn't happened, like we hadn't hurt each other badly.

By the time I had finished I expected her disgust to finally break free, but it didn't, her reaction shocking me more than my dad's had.

"I'm glad you're happy, Lauren." I almost choked on my drink as she spoke, her voice kinder than I had heard it in a long, long time.

"Really?" I couldn't help my cynicism; I felt like I was talking to a very different version of Lucy Beale. Same mannerisms, same looks, same icy stare, but a much improved personality.

"Really," she agreed, shrugging. "I mean, it's completely weird. But I guess everything you said made sense. And if he makes you happy, he's better than your last boyfriend, isn't he?" She was quiet for a second before continuing. "I want that. With someone else," she added, smiling wryly at me.

"Well maybe you're not so much of a cow now, you might just get it." I returned her smile as I spoke, feeling a bit of the ice melt between us. I hadn't completely forgiven her yet, but maybe we could get there...one day.

"I really should go actually; I left Marie in charge of the caff," she explained, getting up and making her way into the hallway. "Not that I think you'll see him, but stay away from Jake, yeah? Ever since his dad got banged up he's been especially nasty with people. Don't let what happened in the Vic happen again."

"What?" I stared at her blankly, my spine going cold at the mention of Sean. "His dad's in prison?"

"Yep. I don't know that much about it, but apparently they've been after him for a while about a few things and finally got enough evidence to nick him." Lucy shrugged, clearly not as fussed about the story as I was inside.

What did this mean? Sean obviously never found an alibi other than Joey who would've rather gauged his own eyes out than help him out. Would Jake really have the nerve to blame me and Joey for his dad ending up exactly where he belonged if he ever did see us?

"Anyway, I'm off," Lucy said, smiling at me. "Maybe we could meet up properly at some point?"

"Yeah, sure," I replied, only half-listening, my mind still fixed on the Jake situation.

"I'm glad you two have made-up," Mum said from behind me, smiling at me as I shut the door behind Lucy.

And even though I _was_ pleased that I had tentatively rebuilt some of the bridge between me and Lucy, and even though me and Mum actually did end up having a pretty good day, Lucy's warning words about Jake lingered like a black cloud over my head.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

The party at the club went on longer than Joey had expected, as he was still not home way after midnight. Admitting defeat to tiredness, I went to bed, curling up under the covers in Joey's bed. After my conversation with Lucy about Sean and Jake, I felt some of the apprehension I used to feel towards them return; the only place I felt better being surrounded by Joey's things, if I couldn't have the real thing.

I must've drifted off at some point, because the feel of the bed dipping behind me and strong arms winding around my waist woke me up. I snuggled automatically into his body, my arms keeping his close around me.

"Hey," I mumbled, smiling slightly, despite the unease I had been feeling earlier on, as he buried his face into my hair, inhaling deeply.

"Hey, babe," he replied quietly. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine, I wasn't properly asleep anyway," I revealed. Sensing my apprehensive tone, he moved back slightly, pulling me backwards with him so that I was lying on my back. His eyes were tired as he looked at me, his head next to mine on the pillow, a concerned question clear in them all the same.

"What's up?" His hand crept under my top as he spoke, the feel of his warm palm against the skin of my stomach calming me down. It was hard to feel anxious about things when Joey was with me.

"I found out something about Sean today," I said, my head turned towards his, watching as a frown marred his features, his eyes darkening at the mention of one of the men, if you can call them that, who had beaten up his mum. "He's in prison. Finally."

Joey took a while to mull over that information, a wide range of emotions flitting across his face. I traced lines over his forearm as I let him think, realising it must be a lot to take in; Sean was in prison, but not for one of the things he should be in there for.

"That's...good, I guess," he said, a hint of anger behind his words.

"It is," I told him, curling closer into him and pressing a kiss to his chest. "Although apparently Jake's not happy. Lucy warned me to stay away from him, as if I needed warning about that."

"Lucy?" he questioned, looking confused now.

"Long story," I said, before working up to my main issue, the thing that was worrying me the most. "Do you think he'll blame you? Or me?"

"Blame me for not helping him? What would be the point? He was gonna end up there anyway," Joey growled, finality in his tone.

"What if he comes after you though? Or me, even?" I asked, genuinely scared, even though I knew Joey could look after himself. Especially against _Jake_.

"If he was stupid enough to try, it really wouldn't be a problem, babe." He pulled me closer into him, holding my gaze. "Have you heard from him since that night in the Vic?"

"No," I admitted, my nose brushing against his as I shook my head, out faces were so close against the pillow.

"Did Lucy say he wanted to get in touch with you?" he continued, his fingers brushing across my skin where his hand was still laying under my top.

"No, but-" Joey cut me off with a kiss, effectively stopping my words, and indeed my train of thought.

"So stop over-analysing, Lo," he insisted as he pulled his lips from mine. "They're not the mafia, y'know. Jake's just gonna have to deal with the fact that his dad is finally going to get what he deserves, some of it at least."

I sighed, conceding to defeat as I snuggled into his body once more, knowing Joey wasn't going to let me go on about this anymore tonight.

"Just get some sleep, babe, you'll feel better about it in the morning," he assured me, closing his eyes and tightening his arms around me.

Part of me believed he was right; we'd been here before when it concerned my stupid choice of an ex-boyfriend. But another part of me, probably the dramatic part, still couldn't quite turn down the anxiety when it came to anything to do with Sean and Jake; there was just too much history, too much aggravation, too far to fall.

And I felt like we'd done enough of that recently.

**A/n**

**So, quite a lot happened in this chapter - not sure how it ended up being quite so long, but I'm hoping this isn't a bad thing? Don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't mind Joey being on spider-duty for me too. ;) Are you glad Lucy apologised? Do you think Joey's right about Jake?**

**Thank you so much for the reviews for the last chapter. As always, they mean so much to me. :)**

**Hope you enjoyed reading. x**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/n****: This chapter is so long I don't even understand how it happened. Just to warn you, there's a lot of over-thinking, kissing, sex, and...er, paint. So...sorry about that in advance. **

Chapter 27

The next few days proved quiet on several fronts. As Joey had insisted, neither of us heard anything from or about Jake. I guess I was going to have to accept that Joey was right; what could Jake say anyway? If Lucy had never told me about Sean being in prison, I never would have known, and never would have been worried. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't at the stage where I was ready to forget about them, but I wasn't going to lose any sleep on their account anymore.

Alice also appeared to have come to a standstill with her arguing with Joey over his rocky relationship with their mum. I couldn't tell whether she had given in simply because she never got any closer to an explanation and so was wasting her time, or whether she had just lost interest and put it down to them both being as bad as each other. One thing I did know was that Joey wasn't going to break his silence on this any time soon, and I couldn't decide whether this was a good thing or not.

The third front which had been quiet was that little panic I had been having about my birthday, which was now only a day away, and wasn't so little a panic anymore. The only mention of it had been from Mum who I had had to shout down from making a big fuss. But this hadn't really calmed my fears. I knew that I should just _tell_ Joey how it was with me. But for some reason I just couldn't. Saying the words would have just been another declaration of how messed up I could be at times.

At least _some_ of my time had been taken up by thinking about college, and about the unexpected apology I had received from Lucy, rather than constantly fixating on my birthday.

"Do you think she was being genuine?" Joey asked me in response to my pondering. I had finally got around to telling him the full story about exactly what had happened when I was at Mum's. I was currently perched on a bar stool at the club where he worked, waiting for him to finish his afternoon shift after I had been to the college to sign some forms.

"Honestly? You can never really tell with her," I admitted, smiling gratefully as he pushed a fruity-looking drink, non-alcoholic of course, towards me before continuing with his task of unloading several crates of beer into the fridges behind him.

"Babe, don't be offended by this question, but why were you ever friends with her?" I could tell from his tone that he was genuinely asking me and not judging me. Although I wouldn't have been annoyed with him if he had been judging me; I had asked myself that very question more times than I could count. "Because, from what you've told me, she sounds like a nightmare."

I laughed, taking a long sip of my drink before answering. I was trying to come up with a better answer than 'I don't really know', but I was struggling. Lucy had just always been there. We just got used to each other. We were friends, sometimes good friends, best friends even, but there was always this undercurrent of hatred between us which we neither acknowledged nor denied. It was just there. We were _those_ friends. And until not that long ago, I hadn't seen a problem with that.

"She wasn't always such a cow," I explained eventually, noting Joey's sceptical look. "Well, I don't think she was anyway." I had realised as I spoke that I couldn't actually think of any examples at the time being, but there must have been some, mustn't there?

"Do you _want_ her to have meant what she said?" He stopped working for a moment, bracing his arms against the bar in front of me. In my peripheral vision I could see some girls eyeing him up as they walked in, waiting just to the left of us to be served and looking disappointed when another barman got there first, much to my delight.

_You're being ridiculous, again._

The truth was, between wondering whether Lucy really was being genuine and this self-imposed purgatory over whether Joey was going to pay any notice to my birthday was doing nothing for my self-esteem whatsoever. But it had gone on too long to go back now. I was definitely making myself a victim of the rules I was living by.

"Maybe," I answered him eventually. "I mean, we could never be best friends again, but at least we wouldn't be enemies." I laughed morbidly, pushing some of the ice in my glass around with the straw. "After all, with friends like her, I don't need enemies. She's the whole package."

"You know you don't have to settle for that anymore, don't you?" Joey reached over and tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his eyes never leaving mine as his fingers brushed over the skin under my jaw gently. He really did know how to get my pulse racing, even when his touch was as innocent and chaste as this one.

"I know. And I'm not," I said as confidently as I could, closing my fingers around his as I brought his hand to my lips and pressed a kiss to the centre of his palm. He watched my movements intently before sliding his hand to the back of my head, guiding my lips to his, kissing me passionately.

"Promise me you know you're worth more than that?" Joey mumbled to me as he pulled his lips from mine, our foreheads touching gently as we regained some composure. I nodded, but apparently that wasn't enough for him. "Say it."

"I guess so," I said, although I didn't sound as confident now. How could I be? I already felt like I had way more than I deserved; doing so well out of my 'second chance' by meeting Joey, by falling in love with a man who makes my heart race just be looking at me. After having been such a reckless, spoilt brat, I didn't deserve it.

It was clear on Joey's face that he didn't believe me, a frown creasing his forehead slightly as he pulled back to look at me properly.

"It's just Lucy, Joe," I told him. "Whether I give her a second chance or not, she's never gonna mean enough to me to hurt me anymore."

My words only appeared to half-appease him, however. I didn't know why he had suddenly gone all serious; maybe my tenseness had rubbed off on him a bit. I tried to re-arrange my posture into a more relaxed one, leaning forward and capturing his lips with mine once more. He reciprocated willingly, his tongue slipping into my mouth and causing me to moan. I slid my fingers into his hair, our kiss deepening again only to be interrupted by an intrusive cough from beside us.

At first I thought it was one of the girls who had been drooling over Joey minutes ago, and so didn't immediately pull away. If they were so interested in us, or him, then I would happily give them a show. My confidence might have been shaky on the inside, but I was determined that the outside would be fine.

I grazed my teeth gently over his bottom lip as he started to pull away, earning a soft groan from him, a roguish smile on his face as he moved away from me, my unwillingness to stop our kiss apparently having amused him and distracted him from his previous mood.

_At least it's not just him who has the power of distraction._

Joey was a good kisser, way better than good, and he knew it too. He had every right to be arrogant about that though; he could distract me from the end of the world with that bloody mouth of his, if he really wanted to.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I don't pay you to perform public displays of affection." I looked round, finally being snapped out of the spell Joey's lips had put me under, to see that the person who had interrupted us had in fact been Joey's ever-glamorous boss, Sharon.

"Sorry, it was my fault," I admitted. I knew she had a soft spot for Joey, but I still didn't want him to get into trouble. She laughed, smiling at me brightly, her eyes flickering knowingly between me and Joey, who, of course, looked completely unabashed.

"No need to apologise, honey," Sharon told me, turning briefly to click on the coffee machine behind her. "Although I think those poor girls over there just took a hit from watching that kiss." Sharon inclined her head to the back of the room where the group of girls seemed to have retreated to.

I shrugged, although I couldn't stop my cheeks from flaming; my conscience suddenly wakened to my bold move.

"I can see why you're so taken with her, Joey," Sharon remarked, her eyes appraising me as she took a sip of her freshly made coffee. "She's stunning."

My blush reached new levels at her comment, confusion clouding my thoughts. Sharon had met me before, although granted I had never actually spoken to her properly until now. The first time she had scolded Joey for flirting with me on Alice's birthday night. The second I had been close to hysteria after my run in with Sean. Why had she suddenly taken such an interest now?

"I know," Joey replied softly, his fingers threading through mine atop of the bar. "Inside and out."

Joey held my gaze as he spoke, his hazel eyes boring into mine, almost as though he was trying to force me to agree with him. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, but at the same time to tell him repeat his words, wanting to feel the thrill of them again. My heart felt like it was three times too big for my chest though, and I couldn't get the words out. A squeeze of his fingers and a slightly embarrassed smile was all I could muster at the time being.

"Oh, Joey." Sharon placed a hand over her heart in a mock swoon, flashing a grin at Joey. "If I was ten years younger."

"Only ten?" Joey quipped, receiving a light smack on the arm from his boss.

"Cheeky sod," Sharon mumbled, although I noticed she was definitely suffering from the full force of his dimples as he had smirked cheekily at her. I couldn't help but laugh, if anything just from the memory of how _I _had swooned when he had first flashed those dimples at me, and stolen my heart simultaneously.

"You can go now if you want, Joey," Sharon announced after a moment of silence, taking another sip of her coffee. "It's fairly quiet in here; I think we can manage till the next shift starts."

"You sure?" Joey asked, glancing to the side where a couple more crates still remained to be emptied.

"Yep. Just do me a favour and take the empty crates out back. Ben can empty the rest," she said, before turning her gaze on me and winking. "And then Lauren can have you all to herself."

"Well you won't get any arguments from me," I said, recovering from my brief shock that she knew my name. I guessed she must've remembered it from when I crashed into her staff room in search of Joey all those months ago. I had been pretty cut off from everything apart from Joey, but I was pretty sure he had said my name in front of her. I only wished I had her memory.

Five minutes later, Joey returned from clearing away the crates, winding his arms around my waist as he came up behind me in the foyer of the club where I was stood waiting for him.

"You ready, babe?" He kissed my cheek and I turned in his arms, winding my own around his shoulders as I nodded, my head lying against his chest. "You alright?" he asked, rubbing a hand up and down my back comfortingly.

_No. I have so many issues I can't bring myself to want to spend my birthday with a man who I couldn't love more if I tried._

"Yeah, just tired." I felt so ridiculous for lying. Well, it wasn't really a lie; I was tired. I just hated that under every other circumstance, from the start of our relationship, even when we just friends, I had been able to tell Joey anything, open up to him about anything. But this was different. I didn't want him to feel like he had to give me anything, because he had already given me so much. Too much.

"Wanna go home and just chill out, baby?" he asked me after a moment of him just holding me to him, his lips pressed against my forehead.

"Yes, please," I agreed, needing to just relax and pretend just for a bit longer that it wasn't my stupid, fucking birthday tomorrow and just be _normal_.

_Normal? In your dreams, sweetheart._

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

I woke up reluctantly the next morning, dread immediately coursing through me as I realised that it was finally here. The day that, for me, was always associated with family arguments, disappointment and too much drinking.

I could tell by how cold the bed felt that Joey wasn't in it with me; no warm, heavy arm round my waist, no deep, steady breathing behind me, no feeling of contentment and safety. The lack of all of these things only worsened my mood further.

Sighing, I rolled over and glumly forced myself out of bed, shuffling into my slippers and making my way downstairs in search of Joey and of a cup of very strong coffee. I only made it as far as the hallway however, as Joey walked out of the kitchen door ahead of me.

Much like the first time we met, he was dressed in his work gear, and I was in a set of pyjama's which left little to the imagination. I looked at his attire, frozen on the spot.

"Where are you going?" It was obvious where he was going, but for some reason I wanted to hear him say it. Some morbid, self-loathing part of me wanted to hear the words that would confirm that my birthday was indeed going to go unnoticed.

_AND IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT. NOT HIS. _

"Going to work. Told Sharon I'd do the morning shift and stay on later if she needs me. Why?" His tone was casual, offhand, but there was a pointed look in his eye as he watched me take in his words, almost as though he was gauging my reaction.

"Oh, right. Of course." I knew I had no right to sound so pathetic or to feel so forlorn, because, at the end of the day, it was indeed my fault Joey didn't know about my birthday, and my fault alone. It was my own stubbornness, my own uncontrollable willingness to always be so stupidly melodramatic. Still, I couldn't stop the lump forming in my throat, or the tears forming behind my eyes, irrational as they were.

_Don't you DARE start crying._

"Ay. What's up?" Joey wound his arm securely round my waist as I tried to squeeze past him, my aim having been to escape back to bed and sleep until it was tomorrow, and not start crying, of course. I could feel his gaze on my face, but I couldn't meet his eyes; knowing that once I did, the waterworks would start and that would be my day well and truly ruined, if I hadn't already assured that it was.

"Nothing, I'm just going back to bed," I explained feebly, attempting to get past him again, pointlessly. His arm tightened around me as his other reached up to my chin, bringing my face round to his gently.

"Babe, tell me," he prompted. His voice was soft and loving and it only made me want to cry all the more. "What's upset you?"

_My own ridiculousness, that's what._

"I'm just tired." I forced my eyes to meet his briefly, hoping I could convey that I wanted him to drop it and let me go. "I didn't sleep well."

For the short time I was looking at him, I could swear that, behind his concern, behind his sadness, he seemed to be sort of strangely amused, shaking his head minutely at me.

Sad but amused didn't make sense though. Clearly, as always when I was close to tears, my brain had stopped working properly.

"Okay. Well maybe you should go back to bed and get some sleep then, yeah?" Joey suggested, kissing my cheek softly as he loosened his hold on me at last. "I'll see you later, baby."

"Yeah. See you," I sighed, my heart clenching as he leaned in again and pressed his lips to my forehead, my eyes closing under the gesture, a tear almost escaping, along with the words which almost escaped my mouth.

What could I say though? 'Oh, by the way, it's my birthday, but I didn't tell you because I was scared. I don't know what of, exactly, but I just was.'

"You sure you're alright?" He stooped a little as he spoke, his face now level with mine. I didn't need to look up to know that his eyes would be searching mine for the slightest hint of a crack in my armour.

"I'm sure," I insisted, leaning in and pecking his lips briefly, distracting him just long enough to slink past him and disappear up the stairs, just in time before the tears finally broke free...

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

I didn't go to sleep. I didn't even get back in bed. Instead, I did what I always used to do when I was younger and in a bad mood: I drew. I don't even know for sure what it was I was drawing. They were just shapes that represented the chaos in my head.

After about an hour of drawing, I decided my drawings needed some colour. I had only just added a vibrant splash of dark blue to one of my drawings with a very fine paintbrush when I heard the front door open, footsteps making their way up the stairs. I listened carefully, trying to decide who it was. It sounded like Joey, but he was at work, and Alice should be too. Why was he here?

I looked round as a soft knock on my bedroom door sounded, Joey opening it quietly and walking in. He met my confused gaze steadily, his eyes scanning over my face sadly. I realised it must've been quite a state; I could _feel_ how red and puffy my eyes still were without even having to see them.

"What are you doing back?"My voice was all croaky and pathetic. It made me cringe. Rather than answer me, Joey merely walked over to me, stopping only when he was by my desk and placing a small-ish, cube-shaped cardboard box with a ribbon tied round onto it, his eyes daring me to ask, or to open. "What is it?"

"What does it look like?" I could tell he was restraining himself from rolling his eyes.

"A present," I said eventually, staring at the box as though it was my enemy.

"You better open it then, hadn't you?" I looked up at him, the knowing tone to his voice making me feel timid and guilty. When I didn't immediately move to open it, he finally did roll his eyes, picking up the box and handing it to me. "Go on then, Drama Queen. It won't be your birthday by the time you've opened it at this rate."

"You know?" I breathed, my eyes still locked on his face, not on the damned box he had placed in my hands.

"Of course I do, Lo," he said, his lips turned up slightly but his eyes still intense. "Alice told me ages ago. I didn't say anything because I wanted to know whether you would ever have actually told me yourself. Clearly you wouldn't have done."

I bit my lip absentmindedly. I didn't know what to say. Part of me wanted to laugh at how absurd I was being, apologise, hope he would see it as an interesting, albeit unfortunate, quirk. The other part wanted to just remain birthday-phobic, and tell him that I didn't tell him because I didn't really want to celebrate it.

"If I hadn't really known, would you have actually let me go the whole day ignorant of your birthday?" Joey asked, reaching down and coaxing my bottom lip out from under my teeth with his thumb. I sighed, standing up slowly, putting the box back down onto the desk and taking his hands in mine.

"Probably," I admitted, looking up at him shyly. "I can be stubborn like that."

"Well, guess what? So can I, baby." The intensity if his gaze and commanding tone of his voice allowed no room for arguments. I already knew he was my match in stubbornness, amongst many other things. "And I'm going to make sure that, by the end of today, you realise that you_ are_ worth making a fuss of, Lo. Did you not think I love you enough to want to spend your birthday with you? Or did you just not want to spend it with me?"

"It wasn't that, Joe," I assured him, feeling doubly guilty now. "I love you more than anything, you know that. I just..." He waited patiently as I searched for the right words. "Every birthday I've ever had always ends in arguments and fights and disaster. And I could never face it if that's how it ended with you."

"It won't be like that with us, baby. I promise you." He looked and sounded so confident, but how could he know that?

"But what about work?" I asked, remembering that he wasn't supposed to be here.

"That was just to make you think I really didn't know," he explained, laughing slightly. "I wanted to see if you would cave in and tell me, but you didn't, even though you were clearly upset. Honestly, babe, what were you thinking, eh?"

I shrugged, moving into his arms and snuggling into him, not really having a comprehensible answer. His hands ran over the back of my pyjama top I still hadn't changed out from.

"Anyway," Joey continued after a few seconds. "I haven't been to work at all; I've been sorting out your presents."

"Presents? Plural?" I choked, the thought alone making me panic again. One present would be bad enough, but several?! "I don't care about presents, Joe. Can't I just have you? You've already done too much for me; I don't expect anything else."

"I know you don't, and that's exactly why I want to do things for you." Joey rolled his eyes at my expression, his lips pressing a kiss to my nose sweetly. "Don't worry, I didn't break the bank or anything. They're just little things."

"Little or not, it's still too much," I insisted, although I could feel a blush creeping onto my cheeks as a result of his words. Who would've thought Joey Branning could be so romantic? Whenever I thought I had seen the extent of his romantic side, he would go and surprise me again.

"Promise me something," Joey said, his forehead coming to rest against mine as I nodded. "Promise me you'll stop feeling like you don't deserve to enjoy yourself, please?" I sighed before nodding once more, my lips brushing against his briefly.

"I promise to try."It was the best I could do for now.

"Thank you." Joey pulled back slightly, his hands remaining at my waist. "And I'll promise you something in return: you will enjoy today, baby." His easy confidence mixed with his smouldering gaze made me blush further, a smile finally creeping onto my lips. "Ah, there you go. You should do that more often, babe."

I laughed now, about to try and think up some sort of witty comeback when he crushed his lips to mine, his hands at my waist pulling my body flush against his. His mouth muffled my surprised squeak, the sensations created from his kiss quickly undoing all the negativity from before. I pushed my fingers under his shirt, my hands running over the smooth skin of his muscular back as our tongues did battle.

Needing to be closer together, Joey gripped my waist harder as he lifted me suddenly onto the desk behind me, blindly shoving things out of the way as he went, pushing my legs apart so that he could stand between them.

"Joey! Watch the paint!" I giggled as I took in his slightly guilty expression as he took in the mess he had just created; one of the pots of paint now lying on its side, paint pouring across the top corner of the paper I had been drawing on.

"Sorry," he mumbled, returning my smile. His hands tightened once more on my waist and I watched as a positively dangerous smirk overtook the smile on his face, his dimples just about killing me. I knew this look, and I knew where whatever plan he had concocted in that head of his would end. "Would you be offended if I used some of this?"

"_You_ want to paint?"I raised my eyebrow at him. He had completely lost me; I had thought we were going to have sex, not paint pretty pictures, as much as I did love art.

"That wasn't my question," he said, his voice deep and compelling, his fingers creeping under my top. "Would you?"

"Be offended?" I repeated, looking for clarification. He nodded, his nose brushing against mine softly. "No, probably not. Are you going to explain what's going on?"

"Do you trust me?" His eyes had gone so dark I couldn't look away. My breathing was heavy, but I could no longer tell whether it was an after effect of our kiss or from the way he was staring at me.

"More than I trust myself," I told him softly, honestly. Joey leaned forward and reclaimed my lips for a moment before pulling back, his eyes mischievous and excited.

I watched as he seemed to think through his next move carefully, his eyes passing over the paint beside us and then over me.

"First things first, this needs to go," he said, his hands starting to pull my pyjama top up my body. Confusion, and an acute awareness that once my top was gone I would be wearing considerably fewer items of clothing than him, stopped me from immediately complying with his wishes, my arms remaining down at my sides. His eyes, though mischievous, were loving, and I reminded myself of what I had just told him about trusting him, and so, taking a deep breath, I lifted my arms, allowing him to remove my top completely.

"So beautiful, baby," he whispered, his eyes appreciatively running over my naked chest, smiling as the blush which had reddened my cheeks spread down my neck towards my breasts, my nipples puckering in the cold air. "I mean it," he added, looking up at me, apparently sensing my internal scoff.

Joey's eyes left mine in order to reach for fine the paintbrush I had been using before, dabbing a little paint onto it before looking back up at me. I felt my breath hitch.

_Surely he isn't thinking what I think he's thinking?_

"You know how you once told me that you like art because it helps you see things more clearly?" His left hand pushed my hair behind my ear as he spoke, his right hand poised in the air with the paintbrush.

"Yeah," I breathed, my eyes flickering between the brush and his face. Maybe it was just because I was almost naked and he wasn't, but my skin felt a thousand times more sensitive all of a sudden.

_Surely he isn't going to do that... _

"Well, I can't draw to save my life, but I can paint. And maybe if I use you as the canvas, I might just manage to get you to see yourself the way _I_ see you." My eyes went wide at his words, disbelief, shock, and a consuming degree of lust pumping through my body.

Without lingering for any longer, Joey started by reaching for my hand, splaying my palm and slowly running the paintbrush up from the centre of it. I almost jumped as the paint connected with my skin; a heady mixture of lustful anticipation and sensitivity doing strange things to my body. He continued its path along the sensitive skin at the inside of my arm, only stopping when he reached my shoulder, the paint then running thin. He repeated the pattern on my other arm diligently, my body reacting the same way.

He glanced up at me before continuing, running the cold paint along my collar bone now. I shuddered. This _shouldn't _have been turning me on so much. And yet something about the feel of the cool paint on my skin contrasted with the heat of his gaze and his fingers against my side was pushing all the right buttons.

A small smile gracing his lips, he dipped the brush back into the paint before bringing it back to my skin, the fine bristles now marking a line around the curve of my breasts. I watched him as he watched the paintbrush fixedly. As he ran the brush over the underside of my left breast, my heart beating wildly beneath, he unexpectedly skimmed the pad of his thumb over my nipple, causing me to groan, squirming slightly, certain parts of my anatomy craving more attention than they were getting.

I heard him laugh softly under his breath, apparently enjoying my reaction as much as I was enjoying his ministrations. I lifted my gaze back to his face to find him watching me. He swallowed, his eyes boring into mine, the air crackling with electricity between us. I could feel the paint lying wet against the skin of my arms and my chest and shuddered again; it was making the uncovered parts of my skin feel all the more responsive.

Tightening his grip against my waist, Joey drew the brush down over my stomach. I flinched as the soft bristles were led, feather-light, over the ever-sensitive skin of my abdomen, just above the line of my pyjama shorts. Joey took his time paying attention to this area, knowing much any touch affected me there.

Not being able to stand being a panting mess any longer, I urged Joey to stop his teasing, taking the paintbrush from him, dropping it onto the desk beside us and pulling his lips to mine roughly, not caring that I was getting paint on his face.

Almost without me realising he had done it, Joey managed to rid me of my shorts and began to kiss his way down my body, torturously slowly, not stopping until he reached my centre where one press of his lips against my clit almost proved too much for my body to handle. My eyes rolled back into my head as he ran his tongue firmly over my skin, my stomach clenching tightly.

"Feel good, baby?" he asked in response to my deep groan, looking up at me, his fingers easing mine off the edge of the desk and threading them through his own.

"Don't stop." Two strangled words was the best response I could muster up, the need I was feeling completely disabling any other function than to feel. My orgasm was so close but so far away.

Joey complied all too willingly to my request, his lips closing around my clit once more, sucking the sensitive mound into his mouth.

"Oh god," I gasped, tightening my grip on his fingers in an attempt to stop myself from grabbing the back of his head and forcing him, if possible, even closer. But I knew I could never get him close enough. "J-Joey."

I felt Joey smile against my skin, the movement of his tongue continuing to push me nearer and nearer to the edge. He brushed his thumbs over my hands as I bucked against him slightly, desperately wanting to fall over the edge, but also never wanting this to end.

It did end though, my orgasm hitting me unexpectedly fast and heavy as he grazed his teeth against my clit suddenly, his name tumbling from my lips repeatedly as I fell, every nerve end on fire.

Before I could regain my breath, or collect together my sanity, Joey's lips were on mine, his hands everywhere, his groin pressing into mine, his erection straining against his trousers.

"I need you now, Lo." My hands were already working on his belt as he spoke though, needing him as much as he needed me, as if the last five minutes hadn't even happened. Maybe I was one year older, and a whole load more insatiable. Is that how it works?

_Who cares?_

Managing to free him of his trousers as he freed himself of his shirt, I ran my hands over his toned torso appreciatively.

"I've got paint on you," I garbled, only half-apologetically, shivering as he ran his length over my folds, my clit still hyper sensitive after all the attention he had paid it only moments ago.

"Like I care," he growled, his lips moving against mine as he pushed into me, his hands digging into my hips as he established a fast, demanding rhythm. The time had passed for romantic caresses and a slow burn; we both needed release too much.

My finger nails dug into the skin of his shoulders, the intensity of the sensations he was making me feel almost too much to take, and I knew that my second orgasm wasn't going to hold out for much longer. My breathing was nothing more than shallow gasps, my heels digging into the small of his back as I wound my legs around his waist, forcing him in deeper unexpectedly.

"Fuck, baby," he choked as he tensed, his erection pulsing inside me as he came hard, his face falling to my neck, his break hot against my skin. The feel of him coming apart inside me, around me, was enough to bring me my release as well, my second orgasm of the day coursing through me with even more intensity than the first.

After a few moments of simply remaining still and silent, basking in the aftermath of our activities, shall we say, I numbly released my legs from around his waist, sliding down from the desk so that I was stood in front of him, my front pressed up against his, paint smudged all over us both now.

"I hope for your sake this washes off, Joseph Branning," I remarked, still breathless and shaky. I rested my forehead against his chest softly. I felt like my insides had turned to mush.

"I didn't plan on getting so carried away just yet," Joey admitted, his chest rumbling against my ear as he laughed, his hands coming to rest at my hips, his thumbs tracing circles around my hipbones.

"So the paint thing wasn't all part of your cunning plan from the beginning?" I slid my hands down his chest as I looked up at him, smiling wryly, my heart finally starting to beat at a more normal pace.

"No, but I kind of wish it had been. I would've come back earlier." He smiled at me cheekily, but I knew that he probably wasn't joking, such was his personality.

_Well, if that wasn't part of the plan, what the hell was?!_

There was an unopened present still sitting at the end of my desk, waiting to be opened, and several others, apparently, which I still knew nothing about. And even though the thought filled me with apprehension, I was going to do my best to make good on my promise of enjoying myself today.

I never thought I would say this, but, even though I was now a sweaty, paint-covered mess, maybe this birthday wouldn't be so bad after all.

**A/n****: **

**Ahem. So, the paint idea was part of the original plan for this story. I literally wrote: "Lauren's bday. Probably sex, possibly involves paint." And that was the end result. Ha. I don't even know. **

**Next chapter will be the second half of her birthday celebrations. Thankfully, there's a lot more Joey, but no more paint involved, I promise. :P**

**Thank you so so so much for all of your reviews for the last chapter. They are appreciated so much. You're all just the loveliest.**

**Hope you liked the chapter, colourful as it was. ;) See you next time. x**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

A good hour later and my newfound optimism for my birthday was still going strong. Inside, I was still tentative towards the whole prospect, and perhaps secretly still on the lookout for where the drama was hiding, but my appreciation for the fact that Joey was here, despite all of my stupid stubbornness, was working its magic.

Well, that and the fact that we had just as much fun getting the paint _off_ as we did putting it _on_. The bath had to be cleaned afterwards to clear up all the paint stains, but at least we saved water by showering together. The way I see it, we get to have sex, and the planet, and our water bill, is conserved. Everyone wins.

I walked into my room, running a towel through my hair as I did so. Joey was lying across my bed, still dressed in nothing but his boxers, his arms crossed behind his head. He smirked deviously at me as he noticed me shamelessly ogling his muscles. I stuck my tongue out at him, chucking the towel at him and causing him to chuckle.

Turning to my dresser, I noticed my phone flashing. I picked it up and read through the several messages that, prior to Joey intervening in my misery, I hadn't realised I had received. My dad, Uncle Jack, Abi, Whitney, Tyler, Fats, Poppy and even Lucy, had all sent me texts to wish me a happy birthday. Fats' was, as ever, the most elaborate and made me smile hugely. Sometimes I missed how much me and him were good friends. Lucy's text was short but sweet enough, and I appreciated it, even if I wasn't sure how genuine it was.

Just as I was about to put my phone back down, another text came through, this time from Mum.

"Joey?" He hummed in response, holding his arm out to me as I walked over to him. "Why do I have a text from my mum telling me she'll see me tomorrow and to have a good day with you? Was she in on this?"

I found it hard to believe that Mum had cooperated with Joey but I couldn't see how else she would know I was spending the day with him. Unless she just assumed, but I doubted it.

"Well, she wasn't really in on the plan," Joey explained, pulling me down onto the bed next to him. I snuggled into him, realising as I did so that if we never did anything else all day other than stay here, I would be one hundred and ten percent okay with that. "But I had to compromise with her. She rang about two weeks ago wanting to arrange some big surprise party for you. I told her I had already planned something, so I had to promise her that she could see you tomorrow instead, minus the surprise."

"It's definitely wrong that I'm so relieved by that," I mused. The words big surprise and party settled like screwdrivers in my stomach. I knew it was supposed to be a nice thing, but to me it was only ever going to be a headache-inducing thing. "I much prefer being here with you than having to endure Mum fussing around me all day whilst arguments start up all over the show."

I pressed my lips against Joey's bare chest, sighing contentedly as he ran his hand up and down my back. I definitely preferred it here, no question.

"I much prefer you being here with me too, babe," Joey murmured.

We lay for a while just enjoying each other's company, Joey's fingers stroking through my hair softly. I don't know how long we were there for; I lost track of time. It was only when my stomach gave an embarrassingly loud rumble that the silence was broken.

"Have you actually eaten anything today, babe?" I shook my head against his chest, feeling my cheeks turn a bit pink.

"I, err...was a bit distracted." All my uncontrollable over-thinking from the past few days about my birthday felt so foolish now. Joey had told me he wanted to prove to me that I deserved to enjoy my birthday, and I knew that I was going to have to prove that I was more grateful for that than I would ever be able to communicate to him.

I leaned up and captured Joey's lips with mine in a slow but intense kiss, my tongue dancing with his. Joey's hands slid down my back, coming to rest on my bum, his hands pushing into the back pockets of my jeans. I pulled away, pink-cheeked and slightly breathless, smiling at him softly.

"I love you," I told him frankly, holding his gaze.

"Love you too, baby," he replied, pecking my lips once more with his, smiling against me as my stomach rumbled again. "Right, c'mon. Food." Joey rolled us over so that he could sit up, pulling me with him.

"Wait!" I cried suddenly as he urged me forwards towards the door, his hands at my hips.

"What?" Joey watched as I turned and walked over to my desk, laughing as I retrieved what it was I wanted. "I knew you liked presents really, babe."

"I do like presents, Joe. Everyone likes presents." I traced my finger over the ribbon that was tied around the box. I felt like I recognized the shape and colour of the box, but I couldn't place it. "I just don't want you to have gone to a lot of trouble, or spent loads of money."

"Just open it," he murmured, rolling his eyes. "This one technically isn't even part of your present. It was an afterthought, which considering the situation, had worked out pretty well."

Intrigued as to what he meant by that, I did as he said, untying the ribbon carefully and opening the box. I grinned as soon as I saw what was inside, immediately realising why I recognised the box, and why it was appropriate to the current "situation".

_Alice has definitely had something to do with this._

Back when we were younger, me and Alice used to go to this little cake shop not far from her house where they made the most delicious cupcakes ever. They were literally my favourite things, especially the chocolate ones with chocolate butter cream and chocolate sprinkles.

"God, I'd forgotten about that place," I admitted, nostalgia flooding through me. The few times I had visited Alice, rather than vice versa, when I was younger was usually when Mum and Dad had fallen out and Dad had gone to Derek's to cool down, taking me with him. Alice, being slightly older than me, had taken me to the cake shop, and for those few times I was there, those cupcakes were the only thing that had cheered me up. "Alice told you about the cake shop then?"

Joey laughed, his eyes darkening as he watched me scoop some of the butter cream onto my index finger and hum appreciatively as I tasted it. My memory hadn't done justice to how good they were.

"She might have mentioned it," Joey said. "Before all the trouble with Derek, Mum used to take me and Al in there. That one was my favourite too." Between the effect of the chocolate, and the effect of his disarming, dimple-infused smile, I was pretty sure my heart was melting.

_You need to keep it together. Honestly._

"And I figured, you've got to have cake on your birthday, haven't you, eh?" He brushed his thumb over my cheek softly.

"Thank you," I whispered, pulling his face down to mine with one hand so that I could kiss him. He moaned lowly as he ran his tongue over my top lip, sucking on it gently as he pulled away. Along with the hair-tucking thing, this had become another of his signature moves, and yet each time he did it, it still made me weak at the knees.

"Delicious," he murmured, smirking slightly at me. "Cake's not bad either."

I laughed under my breath, resisting the temptation to roll my eyes at his charm. Closing the lid on the box carefully, I looked back up at Joey, placing my hand against his chest.

"I know you said this wasn't even part of the present, but I would've been happy with just this." I was being honest too. "I love these cakes almost as much as I love you."

"As long as it's only _almost_, babe," he replied, returning my grin.

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By the time Alice got home, I still hadn't managed to get out of Joey what it was we were doing, and where we going, later. The most I knew was that I needed something dressy but not too over-the-top to wear, and an overnight bag which he was currently helping me pack.

The necessity of an overnight bag had made me once again worry about cost, but he had promised me that he hadn't gone mad. And I trusted him, so I was prepared to leave it. For now...

I had to admit that I was starting enjoy the surprise element, despite my previous inclinations. At the end of the day, I had gone from not expecting there to be a plan at all, so really there never was going to be any competition, whatever happens.

"Just to warn you, she's gonna be beyond hyper," Joey muttered as Alice made her way upstairs, shaking his head in amusement. "I made her not wake you up this morning, so she'll be dying to say happy birthday now. Alice _loves _birthdays."

"I remember..." I mumbled, but smiled at the time, showing him I wasn't sinking back into self-deprecation-mode. I couldn't have done if I tried, to be honest.

There was an impatient knock on the door before Alice opened it, not having bothered waiting for a reply.

"Happy birthday!" Alice squealed as she burst in, flinging herself at me with so much force we both fell backwards into Joey whose hands at the small of my back steadied me.

"Thanks, Al," I said, laughing at her exuberance. She looked like she was practically about to explode with it, just as Joey had predicted.

"This idiot," she began, punching Joey lightly on his arm, "wouldn't let me give you your present or even _speak_ to you this morning. I mean, I managed to stay quiet before today, but it's a bit mean _on _your birthday. All for some silly plan."

"Ah, well, Joe's just as stubborn as me, ain't he?" I said, leaning back into his body. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I smiled up at him as he pressed a kiss to my temple. "Thanks for the cupcake, Al. I hear you were behind that part."

"Ha! I knew you'd like that part. It was love at first sight, you and those bloody cupcakes." I giggled at her reply. I wasn't about to tell her she was wrong. "Has he told you where you're going later yet?"

"Nope," I replied. "Stubborn, remember?"

"Well, you'll love it, I'm sure," Alice assured me confidently, sharing a knowing smile with her brother. It was the best I had seen them get on for weeks. "I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I'm gonna meet you at your mum's."

"Oh, so everyone knew about this post-birthday thing at my mum's apart from me, did they?" I had to give it to them all; they had done an amazing job arranging all of this without me having any idea whatsoever.

"Sort of." Alice shrugged unapologetically; she didn't see what the big fuss with me was about when it comes to birthdays. "So, whilst you're off having fun, I'm gonna clean the house, seeing as we won't be here tomorrow. Yay for me!"

Feeling a little bit guilty that she was staying here, not included, I tried to think of a way to make her feel better.

"Well, on the bright side, you don't need to do clean the bath because I did it this morning." I internally rolled my eyes. How was that supposed to make her feel better?!

"Why would you clean the bath on your _birthday_?" Alice asked, looking mortified.

"Oh, erm..." A laugh escaped as I tried to decide what to tell her. I felt Joey smile into my hair, his fingers brushing over my sides. "There was some...paint in it."

"Wh-" Alice held her hands up, noticing mine and Joey's amusement, scrunching up her nose and shuddering a little. "No, actually, I'm definitely fine not knowing."

"Probably for the best," I insisted, laughing properly now. I don't think I could look her in the eye if she knew that I'd let Joey paint on me. There are just some things that should stay private from your boyfriend's younger sister.

"Right, come and open your present before Joey steals you away from me for good," Alice said, recovering from her awkwardness and pulling me out of Joey's embrace and down the stairs, commandeering my attention until it was time for me to find out exactly what it was Joey had in store for me for the evening.

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Joey took me first of all to a small, but expensive-looking hotel in the centre of London, leading me confidently up to a suite on the top floor. He handed me the key card to the room once we were outside.

"This is the first part of your present, so you should open it, babe." I just stared at him for a second, words failing me. Half of me felt like a child on Christmas Day, the other half felt entirely unworthy of all of this.

_You promised him you wouldn't whinge anymore! _

_I promised to try!_

Opening the door, the first thing that hit me wasn't the elegantly decorated bedroom, but the magnificent view of London through the windows straight ahead of us. The artist in me immediately wished I had brought the beautiful sketch book Alice had given me for my birthday; the view would make a perfect picture.

"This is too much, Joe," I remarked quietly as I looked around the suite as I walked in, feeling more than a little bit blown away. "Completely amazing, but too much."

Joey dropped our bags onto the bed, turning to me and cupping my face firmly in his large hands.

"Are you ever going to learn to take a compliment, or a present, graciously?" he asked me.

"I accepted the cupcake fairly graciously," I mumbled, leaning my face into his palm and kissing his skin softly. "But Joe..."

"Before you freak out, Sharon called in a favour, so I didn't pay as much as you're probably thinking, not that you should be thinking about that when it's a present," he added seriously, although his eyes were twinkling with amusement. "That woman has more contacts than we've had hot meals. And when I let slip that it was your birthday when I booked the time off, she offered to pull a few strings for us."

"So _that's _why she was so interested in me yesterday?" I exclaimed, the pieces suddenly falling into place. I couldn't understand why a woman who had met me before and barely batted an eyelid my direction, even when I was visibly shaken, had suddenly been remarkably interested in me.

"Yep," Joey replied, his hands sliding from my face, down my arms until they reached my hands where he entwined our fingers. "So do you like it?"

"Like it?" I spluttered, looking at him pointedly. I still thought it was too much, Sharon or no Sharon, but we were here now, and I couldn't deny that I was completely in awe. "Joey, I _love_ it! So much."

"Good, now go and get changed or we'll be late," he informed me, twirling me round and nudging me in the direction of the ridiculously large bathroom.

"Late for what?" I inquired, pouting at him, but unable to keep the excitement from my voice.

"Dinner," he quipped. "Go."

"Yes, sir," I replied, winking at him over my shoulder, gratitude and anticipation beginning to take hold. I grabbed my bag and retrieved my wash bag from it, blowing him a kiss from the bathroom door before I closed it.

The door had barely been closed five seconds, however, when I swung it open again, making a bee line for Joey. His arms caught me as I threw my arms around his shoulders tightly, hugging him to me.

"Thank you," I whispered into his ear, kissing his cheek lovingly. His hands went to my thighs, lifting me effortlessly, bringing my legs around his waist. I looked down at him, my cheeks flushed with happiness. "Fancy saving some more water by joining me in there?"

"Do you even need to ask?" He had a point; I could feel how much he fancied doing just that through his jeans. It was taking all the strength I had not to grind against him.

"Didn't want you to think I was being _ungracious_," I teased before crushing my lips to his, feeling him walk us into the bathroom, the door slamming behind us, not that either of us really noticed at that point...

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"You look so hot, baby," I remarked, smirking at Joey from the bathroom door as I walked out to find him turning up the cuffs of his sleeves, the paleness of his toned arms in delicious contrast to the dark blue of his shirt.

Joey turned round, his eyes running up and down my body as he took in my attire. I tried to not to shudder...and failed. From the looks of things, he approved of the long-sleeved, backless, cream, bodycon dress I was wearing. Oh, and the killer heels, of course.

"Are really gonna make me share you with the world looking like that?" Joey sauntered over to me, his hands immediately finding my waist. "'Cause I don't know if I can do it."

"Oh dear, and I thought you'd be up to the challenge." I traced my finger down his chest as I spoke, looking up at him innocently. "I'm not taking it off. Well...not yet anyway."

I'm pretty sure I heard him growl under his breath, but maybe I was just getting carried away in the moment; his eyes had become pretty hypnotising.

"Close your eyes, baby," he said unexpectedly, an eager look in his eyes.

"Why?" I questioned. "You're not going to sabotage the dress are you?" Joey laughed, his hands running up my sides repeatedly.

"No," he assured me, smirking. "I love it too much to do that. Yet."

Eventually complying with his request, I closed my eyes and felt him lead me to the side some five or six steps, stopping me and turning me round. He ran his fingers down my spine, cursing under his breath, clearly having just discovered the backless element to the dress. His hands were gone as quickly as I felt them, and I was tempted to open my eyes.

"Joey?"

"Keep your eyes shut, babe," he said from somewhere behind me.

"What are you doing?" I was starting to feel self-conscious.

"Relax," he coaxed, close behind me now. "I'm giving you the other half of your present."

"Won't I need to have my eyes open for that then?" I joked, my voice faltering, however, as I felt his arms reach around me suddenly, a cold chain being fastened around my neck, whatever was attached to it lying lightly but significantly against my chest. Joey pressed his lips the back of my neck.

"You can open your eyes now."

I opened them, finding myself stood in front of the ornate, full length mirror. Joey was stood behind me, watching as I took in the new addition to my outfit, the second half to my present. I reached up and ran my fingers gently over the delicate, gold chain, tracing it down to the small, but stunning pendant which hung from it.

"Happy birthday, baby," he said quietly, his arms winding around my waist, pulling my back against his body.

"Joey, it's gorgeous," I breathed, unable to tear my eyes away from it, the small, round, diamond in the centre sparkling.

"Just like you," he replied without hesitation. I raised my eyes to his in the reflection of the mirror at long last, and the look in his eye was so heart-wrenching that I felt tears spring to my eyes. I turned in his arms, blinking, embarrassed by my over-emotional reaction.

He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear and I felt my heart flutter. It must've been an expensive gift, but unlike other expensive gifts I had received in the past, I could feel the sentiment behind it, rather than just the ritual.

"The chain and the gold band around it are new, but the diamond was my grandma's on my mum's side," he explained. "She gave it to Mum years ago and told her to save it for me until I found the woman I wanted to give it to..."

My breath hitched, my mind whirling.

"I think she intended for it to be put back into a ring. And maybe one day it can be..." His eyes were boring into mine, confident and vulnerable all at the same time. "Until then, consider it a promise that I'm not going anywhere, that you _are _worth it, that I love you."

"Wow," I choked, a tear, or several, finally breaking free and rolling down my face silently before being brushed away by Joey. I had no idea what to say back to that, and I wasn't sure I could've got the words out even if I had found them.

Rather than speaking with words, I spoke with my kiss, putting as much emotion into it as I could, holding his face against mine, my fingers scraping through his short hair.

"I love you, too, Joe," I vowed, leaning against him heavily. "Thank you," I said after a minute of soaking up everything he had said. "For everything. For today, for making my birthday so special. For loving me. For saving me from myself."

"You saved me too, babe," he replied, his lips against my head. "That day you turned up, you saved me. Don't ever think you didn't."

I felt my heart splutter once more.

_Ugh. Would I ever stop falling in love with Joey Branning?_

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Once in the restaurant, I sat for a while, silently admiring the second half of my present, barely believing how lucky I was. I had never been made to feel as special and as loved as Joey had made me feel today. It was a lot to take in, on so many levels.

"What are you thinking, babe?" Joey asked, watching me from across the table, his eyes irresistibly dark. God, I was practically panting just looking at him.

"I'm thinking...that it's a crying shame that what I want to do with you right now is generally frowned upon in public places..." I smirked at him, tracing my index finger around the rim of my glass, feeling just a little bit feisty.

Joey flashed his trademark grin at me, his dimples damn near melting me yet again. He leaned forward, clasping his hands on the table between us.

"Babe, it's your birthday. Feel free to do whatever you want to." I laughed, my cheeks heating at his response. Trust him. The worst thing, or the best, depending on how you look at it, was that probably meant it too.

"Later, babes," I promised him, leaning close to him across the table and pecking his lips teasingly. "I don't fancy being arrested much. Especially not on my birthday."

Joey smiled at me, probably glad that for the first time I had acknowledged it was my birthday without cringing or looking like I was thinking I didn't deserve something.

The ringing of my phone, muffled by my bag as it was, interrupted our moment, both of us blinking and leaning back.

"I better answer this; it'll be Alice, or my mum, I bet you," I muttered as I fumbled with the clutch on my bag. I only barely glanced at the screen, but it was enough for the smile to fade of my face as I realised it wasn't Alice or my mum.

_Well, here's the drama you've been waiting for, dear._

"Who is it?" Joey asked, noticing my sudden change in demeanour. I said nothing; instead turning the phone to face him so that he could see for himself. "What the fuck does _he _want?"

"To cause trouble, more than likely, just like he always does." I grimaced as I spoke, turning the phone back to me whilst it still rang persistently. "I'm not answering it."

"Let me answer it," Joey said, holding his hand out for the phone, anger evident in his tone.

"No," I insisted, pressing 'ignore' and turning my phone onto silent before Joey could just grab the phone off me. "He doesn't get to ruin my evening, or yours. I'm having a good time, and I want it to stay that way."

Joey still looked irritated, but didn't fight me on it, the food thankfully arriving and helping to dissipate the tension that had engulfed us both, so much so that by the time the desserts had arrived, the phone call, and Jake, was a thing of the not-so-distant past.

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Joey gave me the option of either going to a club after the meal, or returning to the hotel. And wanting to make the most of the good time I was having, I opted for the club. I had never actually been out with Joey like this when it was just the two of us, and I wanted to enjoy having him to myself.

We ended up in one not far from our hotel. My hand was clasped tightly in Joey's as he led us to the bar, revelling in the feel out being out with him, on my birthday, and knowing it wasn't going end with my head in a toilet, heartbroken and angry.

A pair of sharp, blue eyes caught my attention as we neared the bar, blonde hair framing a masculine face that seemed to have taken a specific, unwanted interest in me. A masculine face which looked horrifically familiar...

_He wouldn't be here._

_Surely?_

I froze, feeling the blood drain from my face. Joey sensed me come to a standstill beside him, and pulled me firmly into his side, his protective side kicking in.

"What's the matter, babe?" He ran a hand over my back slowly, the skin on skin contact thanks to the backless cut of the dress helping to calm me down. His other hand was splayed strongly against my stomach. "Lo," he encouraged, his lips at my ear.

Shaking myself out of my shock, I gripped his forearm where it lay across my front, leaning round him so as to look again in the direction of the bar. My eyes sought out the blonde hair and blue eyes I had seen only seconds ago, but I couldn't find them.

"I thought I saw..." I trailed off, cringing slightly into Joey's body as someone brushed close past us suddenly. Looking up, I noticed it was the man I had been looking for, his blue eyes, however, not fixed on me, but on the woman just behind me whom he had now swept into a hug.

I breathed a sigh of relief, pushing my face into the crook of Joey's neck. It wasn't him. It wasn't Jake. In fact, now that he was up close, he didn't actually look that much like him. Joey tightened his arms around me, enclosing my frame in a comforting embrace.

_You're just paranoid after the phone call. _

"I thought I saw Jake," I admitted to Joey, looking up into his concerned eyes. Unwinding one of his arms from around my waist, he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his thumb brushing my cheek softly as he did so. "I'm just being stupid."

"Do you want to go?" Joey asked, watching me carefully, clearly trying to decide whether my answer would be honest or not.

"No." I shook my head obstinately, determined not to let Jake ruin my night. "He ruined my last birthday; he isn't going to ruin this one too."

Joey nodded once, still gauging my reaction, his hands now back at my waist.

"Sure?" he asked, resting his forehead against mine. "Don't just think you have to stay because we're here now; we can leave whenever you want."

"I'm sure, Joe." I smiled to reassure him. The shock had worn off somewhat now, and I felt more silly than worried. "C'mon, forget about the drink. I want to dance."

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Two hours of being held protectively in Joey's arms in the middle of a crowded dance floor, our hands all over each other, completely lost in our own little world, we finally made it back to the hotel.

"Thank you, again, for today" I said, snuggling up to him as soon as we were inside the suite, the necklace he had given me trapped between us. "It's been the best birthday ever."

"I'm glad, baby," Joey murmured. "And I do believe there are at least another fifteen minutes of it left." He pulled me against him much like he had done in the club, hands splayed against the bare skin of my back. "Please say this dress can come off now? As much as I love you in it, I much prefer you _out_ of it, babe."

"I could say the same about you in that shirt, Joe," I quipped, shivering as his fingers found the zip at the side of the dress and began to pull it down slowly.

"Ready to make the last fifteen minutes of your birthday count?" he teased, smirking at me as my breathing picked up a notch.

"Do you even need to ask?" He laughed as I repeated his words from earlier, shaking his head at me before his lips descended onto mine, leading me one step closer to the best ending of a birthday I had ever had...

**A/n**

**So, Lauren's finally overcome the milestone of hating her birthday. Can't imagine why...**

**Are you completely in love with Joey? Do you think Jake called merely to say happy birthday? Are you glad Lauren got a (relatively) drama-free birthday? Are you wondering if the drama is coming back? (correct answer to the last one is yes: trouble's abrewing!) **

**Thank you so much, as always, to those of you who take the time to leave me your thoughts - I love hearing what you think. **

**Hope you enjoyed reading.**

**See you soon. x**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

"What time do we have to leave?" I asked Joey, hoping that the answer would be 'never'. Because against all the odds, I actually didn't want this birthday to end. How I could ever have thought that I wouldn't have enjoyed it now that I had Joey was beyond me now.

I had woken up in my favourite place: Joey's arms. My head had, as per usual, ended up pillowed against his chest; apparently the several pillows provided by the hotel just didn't have the same appeal. Our legs were tangled together, the sheets a forgotten mess at the end of the bed.

The feeling of him running his fingers up and down my spine had woken me, his chest rising and falling steadily beneath me.

"Have to be out by twelve, babe," he replied, sounding as reluctant to leave as I was.

I restrained a sigh; all good things must come to an end, after all. And, minus the minor blip caused by Jake, yesterday had been several thousand levels above a 'good' thing. My fingers found the necklace still lying around my neck, a warm feeling coursing through me as I remembered him giving it to me.

"Joey?" I nuzzled my face into his shoulder, pressing a kiss to his warm skin. "Love you."

Joey's arms tightened around me before he rolled us over, his body pressing mine down into the mattress as he reversed our positions.

"Love you too, Lo," he breathed, pushing his face into the crook of my neck. His arm came to rest against my chest, his fingers entangling with mine over the necklace, a comfortable, sleepy silence falling over us.

"Is Alice not annoyed that I've got this and not her?" I questioned after a few minutes. Joey looked up at me, confused, quirking his eyebrow at me. "I mean, it's like a family heirloom, ain't it?"

Joey smiled and shook his head against me, his lips pressing into my skin yet again.

"I think her exact words were something along the lines of: 'she deserves it for stopping you from being an arsehole.'" Joey laughed but I could tell that there was more weight behind his words than he was letting on.

"I don't believe you were ever an arsehole, Joe," I told him. I knew arseholes, and he most definitely wasn't one. Maybe he had been a player in the past, or supposedly been one anyway, but he had more than made up for that now. "She can only have thought that because you were so determined to keep everyone at arm's length."

"Yeah...so an arsehole," he deadpanned.

"Not to me," I retorted, finality in my tone. Joey insists that I don't see myself clearly, but he's a victim of the same crime. "Nobody's perfect, Joe."

"Don't I know it," he grumbled, lost in thought for a while. I had little doubt that he was thinking about his mum and dad, and probably letting his irrational guilt over keeping the truth from Alice eat away at him yet again.

No matter how many times I tried to convince him that it wasn't for him to shoulder the blame, he just wouldn't have it. Somewhere under all the bravado, all the muscle, all those walls he put up, there was still a seven year old version of himself, angry because he didn't know how to protect his mum from his father.

With the hand that was around his shoulders, I brushed his hair back, trying to comfort him. I couldn't help but smile softly; Joey was often rather meticulous about how his hair was styled, but I kind of loved when it was messy like this. Messy and perfectly un-perfect.

"Perfection's overrated, Joe," I mused, feeling him smile against my neck.

"Depends how you define perfection," he replied, pulling back slightly as he turned onto his side. I mirrored him so that we were now face to face, our faces only inches apart on the pillow.

"How do you mean?" I inquired, tingles shivering down my spine as he reached over and pushed a strand of my hair behind my right ear.

The darkness of his eyes and the small smile on his face told me that the brief spell of frustration had passed.

"Well, maybe I'm biased," he began, his hand now brushing down my side, his fingers ghosting over the side of my breast before continuing down over my waist, "but your face when I make you come is about as close to perfection as I could imagine."

I felt my cheeks heat, my breathing becoming unsteady as his long fingers found my already-wet folds, his thumb pushing against my clit and causing my hips to buck automatically.

"Joe," I moaned, my stomach tightening as he pushed a finger inside of me.

"Shall I make you come again, baby?" he murmured, his lips brushing against mine, muffling the gasp I emitted as he added another finger to the mix, skilfully making me feel things that my previous sexual partners had only made me feel a shadow of.

I ran my palm down his torso, feeling his muscles ripple beneath my touch. I grinned against his mouth as he groaned deeply, his fingers coming to a momentary halt with their actions, as my own closed around his erection which had been begging for attention between us for a while now.

"Fuck," he breathed as I ran the pad of my thumb over the tip, feeling him swell even more in my hand.

"Make love to me, Joe," I requested, my voice barely more than whisper, holding his gaze.

"With pleasure, babe," he replied, kissing me once more.

I sighed as he removed his fingers from my entrance, immediately missing the pressure. Instead, he moved his hand between us, his fingers covering mine over his dick and tightening my grip on him. He guided my hand up and down his shaft a few times, his breathing deep. I had to resort to rubbing my legs together to try and relieve some pressure, unbelievably turned-on by what we were doing, as always. It was no use, I needed him, and I was done with teasing.

"Now, Joe," I choked. "I need to you now."

Apparently sensing my tone, Joey smiled at me, his eyes heavily-lidded as he relinquished his hold on my hand. He gripped my thigh lightly, thinking for a moment before sliding his hand to my lower back and pulling me closer to him until there was no space between us whatsoever. I slid my right arm around his waist, my fingers splayed against his back, as his left one went back to my thigh, his cock twitching against my stomach.

Joey hooked my leg over his, before he guided his length to my core, shifting his hips against mine as he pushed into me. My fingers dug into his shoulders as he started to move within me, the intensity created by the position pushing me closer to the edge than I had anticipated I would be after only a few moments.

"So good," I garbled. I had no idea how many times I had said that to him this weekend, but each time it became less and less adequate to describe how good it actually felt.

"I know, babe." His lips captured mine, his fingers tightening at my hip and pulling me, somehow, closer still. This changed the angle slightly and I froze for a second as he brushed against my g-spot, my fingernails actually digging into his skin from the shock of it. It wasn't like he had never found it before, but I hadn't been ready for it just then.

It only took a couple more thrusts from him for me to free-fall over the edge, what was possibly the most intense orgasm of the last twenty-four hours practically paralysing me as it coursed through me. My climax triggered Joey's, who came apart within me, his lips leaving mine as he pushed his head into the pillow, his forehead against my own.

After a few moments we both recovered enough to move, Joey rolling onto his back, groaning as he pulled out of me. I curled into him, still trying to regain control of my breathing, my body still feeling the aftershocks of my orgasm.

"See?" he said suddenly, his hand cupping my face gently. "Perfection."

I laughed, too spent to even attempt to argue.

_Yes. It had definitely been a good birthday. Perfection, in fact. _

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"Any more calls off the idiot?" Joey asked as we made our way over to The Vic with the others.

We had made it to Walford eventually, only just checking out of the hotel in time. The majority of the afternoon had been spent at Mum and Dad's with them, Abi , Oscar and Alice who had arrived just before us. However, other members of the family, and some friends, had slowly started to appear, some of them in the know about me and Joey, some of them making their surprise, and sometimes their disapproval, crystal clear.

Not that I cared. We had the approval of the people we cared about, so screw the rest. I was especially glad that Whitney had showed up and immediately shown her support for me and Joey. Although Lucy had more or less done the same, I knew I could trust Whit to be genuine.

"Nope, thank God," I replied, irritation flooding through my veins suddenly. I hadn't needed to ask to know that he was talking about Jake as 'the idiot'.

Once I had made it out of bed that morning and looked at my phone, I had found several more missed calls from him. And when I say several, I mean a good twenty-odd. The theory I had secretly come up with that he merely had wanted to say happy birthday had gone well and truly out of the window. Nobody would call that often to say that.

No, he obviously was after trouble. But I wasn't going to give it to him, Drama Queen as I was. In fact, considering all the fuss Grandma Dot made when she found out Joey was my cousin, I'm starting to think I should abdicate and let her take the Drama throne.

"If he calls again, let me speak to him," Joey insisted as he held the door of the pub open for me.

"No, Joey. A reaction is what he wants," I warned him. "If we ignore him he'll get bored eventually."

Joey looked thoroughly unconvinced, which seemed ridiculous when it had been him telling me to forget about all things Jake-related not that long ago. Something about him interrupting yesterday appeared to have got to him though.

Before I could remind him of this, I heard someone shout my name, immediately recognising the ever-enthused tones of Fatboy.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said as he came to a stop in front of me, swinging me up into his arms and spinning me round, causing me to laugh loudly. "How's my gorgeous girl? You're looking amazing."

Joey's arms were tight around me as soon as Fats had set me down, possessiveness pouring from him.

"Thanks, Fats," I giggled, half at Joey's jealousy, half at Fats' exuberance. "You're not looking so bad yourself."

"Ah, well, got my beautiful Pops to thank for that, ain't I?" Fats said, motioning over to where Poppy was sat waiting for him. "Come over and sit with us, yeah?"

"Sure," I replied. "We'll just get some drinks and we'll come over."

I led Joey over to the bar, ordering a lemonade and beer from Alfie, Joey still playing the role of personal-caveman behind me, his hands splayed against my stomach.

"Have I told you how much it turns me on when you're jealous?" I whispered to him as we waited for the drinks, winding my arms around his shoulders as I turned to him.

"I'm not jealous," he replied curtly, although his hands at my waist told another story.

"Yeah, right," I laughed, pecking his lips with mine. "Joey, we had sex...I don't even know how many times yesterday, not to mention this morning. You gave me the most beautiful birthday presents and talked about us one day getting married, the thought of which makes me even more embarrassingly in love with you, by the way." Joey smiled at this, dropping his forehead onto mine. "And you're jealous of Fatboy giving me a hug?"

"He called you _his girl_," accused Joey, growling slightly. "You're mine."

"All yours, baby," I agreed, clutching the collar of his shirt in my hands. "And it works both ways."

"I'm all yours, you know that," he murmured before his lips descended onto mine.

Someone clearing their throat interrupted us. I pulled my lips from Joey's to find Uncle Jack stood beside us. I had wondered if I would get to see him, what with him not having been at the house.

"Alright, Joey, no one's gonna steal her away from you," Uncle Jack joked, winking at me. "Although I wouldn't mind stealing a late birthday hug from my favourite niece."

"Don't let Abi hear you say that," I laughed, moving to give my uncle a hug. I smiled at him as I pulled away, stepping back against Joey. "So, you're not going to give us the third degree as well then?"

"People giving you a hard time?" Uncle Jack asked sympathetically.

"Oh just Auntie Carol, and Grandma Dot, of course." I rolled my eyes. "We're going to hell apparently. Although I was always under the impression that that's what Walford is..."

Uncle Jack laughed, shaking his head indulgently at me.

"Lauren, ever since you were old enough to walk and talk you couldn't be made to do something you didn't want to do, and woebegone anyone who tried to make you," he added, lifting my chin with his finger. "If Joey's what makes you happy, I'm happy for you. God knows you deserve to be happy after everything this family's put you through."

"Thanks, Uncle Jack," I said, appreciating his support more than I thought I would; a lump forming in my throat. "That means a lot."

"No need to thank me, sweetheart," he replied, before giving Joey a serious look. "I might be okay with the two of you, but don't think for a second that I won't help my brother kill you if you ever hurt her, yeah?"

"Wouldn't want it any other way, Jack," Joey assured him, pressing a kiss to the back of my head, his arms encircling my waist.

"Good man," Jack said, clapping Joey on the arm before inclining his head over to where Fats and Poppy were sitting, now joined by Whitney, Tyler and Alice. "Go have fun. Happy birthday, darling."

As Uncle Jack went to sit with my parents, I paid Alfie for our drinks, ignoring Joey's protests; he had paid for enough this weekend. Handing Joey his beer, we both turned to towards the table just as Lucy walked through the doors. For a second she looked a bit shell-shocked before she recovered, smiling at us and making her way over.

It appeared Lucy's genuineness was about to be tested.

_Well, whatever happens, at least I had promised Joey that everything that happens once we left the hotel wasn't being counted, in my opinion, as part of my birthday. _

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

On the whole, I had a fairly enjoyable evening. It felt amazing to be able to sit with my friends and family, and my boyfriend, and not be hiding our relationship from them like we had done last time. I ended up curled up in Joey's lap by the end of the night, cringing with laughter, my face buried in his shoulder as Whit and Lucy did their best to fill Joey and Alice in on as many embarrassing things I had done as they could. It was truly unfortunate how long the list was.

Lucy had been more like her old self than I had seen her in a long time, joining in with the conversation and being, as far as I could tell, genuinely pleasant and friendly. The only thing that seemed strange was that a couple of times in the course of the night I saw her tapping away at her phone, a somewhat distressed look on her face.

"You alright?" I asked her after the third time, noticing she looked especially uncomfortable this time.

Her eyes snapped up to mine, and I was surprised to see that she actually looked kind of _scared._

"Yeah, just...problems with my dad, y'know." She shrugged, clearly not wanting to discuss it any further here; her eyes darting round the table and blushing. I gave her a look that told her clear as day that I wasn't taking that as an answer, even though it was feasible. I wasn't going to push her on it right here right now, but I wasn't going to drop it. Whether we were proper friends or not, I couldn't just switch off my conscience.

"Wanna go?" Joey asked me after another five minutes, my head having fallen back onto his shoulder, fiddling with the necklace around my neck as sleepiness came over me. I nodded and let him help me up off of his lap, turning to say our goodbyes to everyone.

"I just need to pop back in the house; I left my jacket," I informed them as we left the pub, entwining my fingers with Joey's. "That alright?"

"'Course, babe," he replied, bringing our hands up to his mouth and kissing the back of mine softly.

_Don't swoon. You've done enough of that today._

"Auntie Carol's going to send me some old photos of Dad," Alice chirped as we walked across the square. I felt Joey stiffen slightly and squeezed his hand in mine. "Isn't that nice?"

"Why would you want photos of him? You know what he looked like," Joey snapped.

I knew without needing to look that that was the complete wrong thing to say; Alice immediately launching into a full blown rant at her brother for not respecting their father, even when he was dead. This argument, of course, was like a red flag to a bull, and Joey immediately retaliated.

As always then they argued like this, half of me wanted to stop them, whilst half of me wanted to let them just shout it out and finally clear the air. I wanted Joey to tell her the truth. But at the same time I didn't want to see how hard she would take that. Mostly, I just didn't want Joey to suffer because of Derek Branning anymore.

Knowing there was nothing I could do to diffuse the tension for now, I leaned up, pecked Joey on the cheek and ran up the steps to the house, letting myself in and leaving them to argue by the car. I felt bad about leaving them, but the quicker I grabbed my jacket, the quicker we could leave.

Remembering that I had left it in the kitchen, I made a beeline for it. As I pulled the jacket off the back of a chair, a hand-drawn picture that was pinned up on the fridge caught my eye. I smiled softly, walking over to it as I realised that it was one of Oscar's masterpieces.

Me, Abi and himself were all depicted. He didn't appear to have bothered to draw us any necks, or feet, for that matter, however he had put a lot of effort into drawing us each holding an ice cream which was bigger than us.

I laughed out loud, running my fingers over the paper wistfully. Just as I was debating calling Mum and asking her if I could take it with me, I heard footsteps walking along the hallway.

"Alright, alright, Joe. I'm coming, babe," I called. No doubt he had had enough of Alice's long-standing defence of Derek and had come to look for me before he said something they would both regret.

"Wrong boyfriend_, babe."_

**A/n:**

**Duff duff duff... **

**I feel bad for leaving it there, but it seemed like the right place. And at the end of the day, if you don't like a good duff duff, why do you watch EastEnders? ;)**

**Thank you for all of your reviews for the last chapter, signed and Guest reviews alike. I appreciate them so much. **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Next one will be posted this weekend. See you then! x**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

_"Wrong boyfriend, babe."_

I spun round, bile rising in my throat as Jake stepped into the kitchen. He leered at me a little, raising his eyebrow at me as if challenging me to react, dramatically or not, to his unanticipated appearance, reeking of alcohol.

I followed his gaze with my own as he took a step closer to me, calmly pushing the kitchen door closed behind himself, my heartbeat loud in my ears as I tried to decide what to do.

I could scream, but it was unlikely anyone would hear me; no one else was in and Joey and Alice were outside, probably still arguing.

I could try and run, but he was closer to both exists than I was and would undoubtedly be able to stop me.

I could just start crying, but I wasn't that pathetic, yet.

_What are you going to do then? Just stand there?_

I knew my phone was in the pocket of my jeans. I could call Joey, and hope he hears his phone. He would know something wasn't right if I didn't speak.

"What? You not going to say anything?" Jake sneered. "Not as talkative when Loverboy's not here are you?"

My nostrils flared as I stared at him. He actually repulsed me.

"Don't you even want to know how I got in? Or how I knew you would be here today and not yesterday?" Jake pulled out his phone and began twirling it between his fingers.

"It's _Walford_," I spat, rolling my eyes sharply. "It doesn't take a genius to find stuff out."

"Well, I'll give you that one, perhaps." He smirked, stilling his phone and waving it on front of me. "Y'know, I genuinely thought Lucy was lying when she told me you would be here. I was close to giving up, going to find her and giving her a piece of my mind. But here you are."

"_Lucy_?" I felt my spine run cold. Lucy told him I was here? Lucy who told me to stay away from him at costs?

_Surely she wouldn't have stooped this low?_

But as soon as the thought formed I remembered how shifty she had been when I had asked her about who she had been talking to on her phone. The question clearly should have been, not would Lucy have stooped so low, but when would I learn not to trust her?

I felt the angry sting of betrayal flood through me, and had to remind myself that I had bigger problems at hand than a spineless cow of an ex-best friend.

"Anyway," Jake said, stepping towards me once more and stuffing his phone back in his pocket. I flattened myself back against the fridge, trying to reach for my own phone as discreetly as possible. "I didn't come here to discuss your terrible choice in friends."

"What _did_ you come here for then?" I asked, glaring at him and attempting to keep my voice steady even though my panic was increasing by the second as he took yet another step towards me.

"You."

He was directly in front of me now, so much so that I could feel his breath against my face. Internally I was cringing, but I forced myself to hold his gaze to make sure that he didn't notice that I had managed to retrieve my phone from my pocket.

"Me?" I said, my voice breaking on the one syllable. He smirked, enjoying himself now.

Surely Joey would realise I was taking too long soon? Surely he would come looking for me?

"Yes." He linked one of his fingers through one of my belt loops, bringing our bodies closer together. I almost threw up. "See, I don't think it's fair that I have to suffer the shame of having a dad who's in prison for being abusive, my family being ripped apart, whilst that meathead of a boyfriend of yours gets off scot-free when he is _exactly_ the same as me."

"Joey is _nothing_ like you," I snarled, struggling to fight the urge to look down at my phone so that I could see what I was doing. "And how exactly has he got off scot-free? His dad's dead. He has to live with the fact that Derek never had to suffer for what he did."

"So, I thought, what would make me feel better?" Jake continued, apparently ignoring what I had said. He wasn't bothered about Joey at all. "And I decided that if I made you suffer, that would make your precious_ Joey_ suffer, and then we would be even."

I felt sick, desperately trying not to think about what he was saying, trying to distract him. I didn't want to know how exactly he planned to "make me suffer" and I certainly didn't plan on finding out.

With renewed determination, I continued to blindly attempt to unlock my phone. I knew that if I could just get to the main screen and select 'calls', the last person I called was Alice. Trying to call her would have to be my best bet; I was never in a million years going to be able to scroll through to Joey's number without looking at the screen.

"That wouldn't make you even," I told him, moving my face to the side whilst still keeping his gaze as he leaned in slightly. If his lips touched mine I would definitely vomit. The stench of alcohol on him was so strong it was making my eyes water. Or maybe that was just normal tears that were finally breaking free. "Not to Joey anyway. It would just make you as bad as your dad, Jake."

"You don't know anything about him," he retorted, one of his hands gripping my waist.

"I know that you don't have to be like him," I insisted, trying not to whimper at how hard his grip was. "If you're upset, this isn't the way to deal with it. Prove to anyone who judges you that you're _not_ like him, not that you're a clone of him."

Something akin to a shred of conscience flickered in Jake's eyes, so I continued, even though every time I opened my mouth it felt like I would throw up my stomach.

"'Cause that's what's bothering you, isn't it, eh? Your reputation?" I raised my eyebrow at him, daring him to deny it.

For a moment it looked like I was getting through to him. His fingers loosened slightly at my waist, his eyes taking on a less-focused look as he continued to stare me down.

I felt like my lungs had shrunk to half their size whilst I waited for his next move. I had no idea long I must have been in here for now. Too long to warrant the mere collection of my jacket, that was for sure.

Where was Joey? I just wanted Joey.

Just as I was trying to decide whether or not I had managed to unlock my phone, testing how the screen was reacting to my touch, it rang, shattering the silence in the room.

The sound snapped Jake out of his trance, his eyes lowering to where my phone was clutched tightly in my right hand. I hurriedly tried to press 'answer' but Jake prised the phone out of my hand, angrily throwing it onto the floor beside us. I gasped as I heard it smash, not wanting to look to see the damage to my only way of letting someone, anyone, know what was going on.

"Nice try," Jake snarled, bringing his eyes back up to mine, forcing my body backwards so tightly I could barely breathe. His hands pushed my top upwards as he gripped my waist once more, my skin crawling where his was now touching mine.

"Get. Off. Me." Tears were pouring down my face now, and I scratched at his wrists, digging my nails in to try and force him to let go.

"There ain't no point struggling; your boyfriend's not coming for you," Jake sneered, his fingers now at the button of my jeans, his lips coming closer and closer to mine. "And he won't want you afterwards either, not once you're damaged goods."

Without really thinking about it, my hand swung upwards, connecting with his face with more force than I realised I possessed. His momentary surprise was enough to distract him long enough for me to push him backwards a little, one of his hands having gone straight to his now bright red, smarting cheek.

I managed to slip sideways away from him, knocking a glass off the side in my haste to immediately try and put more distance between us, but he reached for me, grabbing my arm and causing me to stumble.

Over the top of the sound of the glass smashing against the floor, several loud bangs and an ear-splitting crash issued from the front door. Both mine and Jake's heads snapped up, and I felt relief instantly flood through me as I recognised Joey's voice.

"Joey!" I shouted, choking as Jake's fingers closed around my neck, cutting off my voice and my air supply, his other hand bruising my side with the strength of his grip.

Gasping for air, I aimed as good a kick as I could muster at Jake's shins. As soon as his fingers loosened at my neck, I kicked him once more, shouting Joey again whilst grappling against Jake's arms just as the kitchen door crashed open.

"Joey," I cried, stumbling backwards as he lunged at Jake, throwing him powerfully into the kitchen table, angrier than I had ever seen him.

The force of Joey's blow to Jake knocked me off balance too though, and before I could take in what was actually happening, I lost my footing on the remnants of my phone and the broken glass, stumbling once more and falling sideways.

I didn't actually feel the impact of the floor, the only thing I could focus on was the sudden, sickening pain in my stomach. Numbly, I reached down, my fingers shaking as they ran over a jagged piece of glass now impaled in my skin, warm, dark, red blood fast staining my shirt.

I tried to move but couldn't; the pain crippling me. My vision was swimming and I couldn't make my voice work. I knew Joey and Jake were still there but I couldn't focus on them. All I could hear was myself breathing, shallow breaths drowning out everything else.

More voices and an especially loud crash brought me back to the present for a moment, only I wished it hadn't; the pain increased tenfold, a strangled cry finally escaping my lips. I felt someone move my hands from my stomach, turning me slightly, carefully.

"Joey, leave him, Lauren needs you," I heard whoever was closest to me say. I tried to speak but all that came out was another cry.

"Oh god, Lo. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Joey's voice cracked as he spoke, sounding more emotional than I had ever heard him.

Forcing my eyes open, not being completely sure when they had closed, I was met with the sight of him kneeling beside me, his distraught face close to mine. The pain in his eyes almost killed me on the spot. I felt his fingers brush tears off my face that I hadn't realised were still falling.

I tried to move closer to him but the pain was worse than ever, the sharpness of it weakening all my other senses. It took me a second to realise that the loud whimpering noise I could hear was me.

"No, baby, don't close your eyes, don't fall asleep." I could feel Joey's hands cupping my face, his lips against my forehead, and yet his voice sounded so far away.

_Maybe you're already asleep? _

"No, no, c'mon, stay with me, Lo." Joey's voice was desperate now.

I wanted to tell him it was okay, tell him I was okay now that he was here, but the words wouldn't come out. And I wasn't okay. I couldn't feel anything but the pain and the wetness of my shirt against my skin.

"Max, what's taking so long? Can't we do something?" I didn't hear the reply; my ears were starting to ring, fatigue pressing down on my brain.

"Baby, c'mon, look at me, " Joey pleaded.

I couldn't look at him though; no matter how many times I tried to open my eyes they wouldn't do as I said. I reached up and felt his warm fingers close around mine. I hadn't realised how cold I was until that point.

I felt Joey's lips against the back of my hand, kissing me just like he had done after we had left The Vic what felt like years ago. Everything felt like years ago. Meeting Joey, my birthday, my run in with Jake in this kitchen.

The last thing I was aware of was Joey's voice by my ear, the pain in my stomach, and a weird, inexplicable sense that I was falling...

**A/n:**

**Um. Please don't hate me? Definitely going to run and hide now...**

**Do you think Lauren's going to be okay? Do you think ****_Joey's_**** going to be okay even if she is? **

**Thank you so much for the reviews - I think I managed to reply to them all individually. To the Guest reviewers, THANK YOU. 3**

**I'm going to try and have the next chapter up this weekend. See you then. x**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/n:**** Are you still with me after that cliffhanger? I hope so!**

Chapter 31

I could hear a loud beeping noise. It had just sort of been somewhere in the background at first, not that bad, ignorable. But it had slowly but surely become louder and louder and it was _really_ starting to irritate me now. I just wanted it to shut up.

Another thing that was irritating me was the dull but persistent ache at my abdomen. I didn't understand it; I'd never felt pain like that before. In all my frustration with the beeping noise I had been trying to ignore it, but that too was now becoming harder and harder to ignore.

Numbly sensing that I was lying on my back, I decided that I just must have been in the same position for too long. Yes, I must have been in bed, oversleeping as per usual, and the beeping noise was my alarm clock. It didn't really explain the pain, but maybe that was just because there wasn't one. An explanation, that is. Maybe it was just an unexplainable pain. Yes.

I shifted slightly, hoping that a change in position would ease the aching. However, as soon as I moved, shifting to the right with the intention of rolling over and switching off my alarm clock, it felt like my stomach was on fire. Actually on fire.

I shrieked, my eyes flying open, cringing against the pain, my hands going straight to the source.

"Ah, ah, ah, no you don't."

I jumped, the voice having taken me by surprise, not to mention the hands that had reached out and snatched my own away from my body. I looked up, breathing heavily, to find my mum sat at the side of my bed.

Except that it wasn't my bed, it was a hospital bed. And the beeping definitely wasn't my alarm clock. And the pain...

Mum leaned forward, brushing my hair back softly as a sob broke from my chest, the realisation of where I was and what had happened finally dawning on me. Jake, Joey, the glass, blacking out...

Joey.

Where was Joey?

"No, sweetie," Mum warned, grabbing my hand again as I tried to see what the damage was to my stomach. The glass had definitely gone, I knew that much. "I know it must be painful, but you'll pull your stitches out if you start poking around at it."

I glanced back up at her questioningly, pulling my lip into my mouth to try and stop with the sobbing. She reached up and stroked my cheek gently, smiling at me, although I could tell from the redness around her eyes that she had been crying.

"Do you remember what happened, darling?" Mum asked,

"Only up to when I passed out," I replied, having to stop in order to clear my throat it was so gravelly. "Even before that is a bit burry though."

"We came out of The Vic to see Joey kicking the front door down. Your Dad and Jack ran over, realising something was wrong and found you on the floor, semi-conscious, blood everywhere," Mum paled as she spoke about the blood, squeezing my hand tighter, "and Joey not far from beating Jake to a pulp. Jack had to pull them away from each other."

I let that information sink in, trying to fill in the blanks where my memory had nothing. I was just about to ask where Joey was and if he was okay when she continued.

"Anyway, by the time the ambulance turned up, you were unconscious. I wanted to go with you but Joey refused to leave you alone. He wouldn't even let go of you, so the paramedics made an exception." Mum looked like she was resisting the temptation to roll her eyes. "Your dad wasn't best pleased about it, but considering he had just saved you from whatever the hell that disgusting creature was going to do to you, he let it go."

Mum pressed a kiss to my forehead, muttering something about dreading to think what could have happened.

So Joey hadn't left me even to go in the ambulance? I almost wanted to laugh at the image of how stubborn he must've been, refusing to let anyone else go with me. Only almost though. Because his absence right now was making me uneasy. I needed to see him. I needed to know that he was okay.

"They had to get an ambulance for _Jake_ as well," Mum muttered, looking thoroughly repulsed at the idea. "His collarbone was broken from where Joey threw him away from you. And it looked like his face was pretty messed up too. They arrested him too, though, don't worry."

Joey broke Jake's collarbone? Oh god... Even though part of me was glad in a morbid kind of way, I had a horrific suspicion that Joey would think that this made him like Derek, despite the circumstances. The worry the thought caused me sat almost as unwelcome in my stomach as the pain did.

_You don't know that that's why he's not here. You're jumping to conclusions._

"As to you, darling, you were very lucky; the doctor said the glass hadn't actually gone in that deeply," Mum smiled as she spoke, relieved. "There's no major internal damage, although you lost a lot of blood, and your side is all bruised where you fell. And then there are the stitches over the wound, of course, which you've already discovered."

The pain in my stomach throbbed sickeningly as she mentioned the stitches, almost as if to support her words. I groaned, closing my eyes against the tears I could feel building; it all felt very overwhelming.

"I'm going to go and tell everyone you're awake and get the doctor, sweetie," Mum announced after a moment, leaning down and kissing my forehead softly before getting up and leaving.

I reached up and wiped away some of the tears on my face with the back of my hand, shuddering at the sight of the needle in my arm linking me up to one of the machines beside me. In the silence I felt yet more tears build behind my eyes, a lump forming in my throat. This wasn't where I had expected to end up.

The door opened again suddenly, my heart sinking as Alice poked her head around it. I had hoped it would be Joey. I wanted Joey. Her eyes were red like Mum's had been, although rather than looking relieved, she looked angry and shocked. Normally I would have asked what was wrong, but there was only one question I wanted answering for the time being.

"Where's Joey?" I croaked.

"He went to get some air," she said, watching me warily as she sat down in the chair Mum had just vacated. "He'll go mad when he realises you woke up when he wasn't here. He's barely left your side. How are you feeling?"

"I'm alive," I replied, shrugging off her question. "Is he okay?"

Alice stared at me for a long moment, a mixture of worry, disapproval and sadness in her eyes. It was doing nothing for my state of mind.

"He was...upset," she admitted at long last. "We didn't realise, Lauren... I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. We were arguing, worse than ever..." Alice's lip wobbled, her voice faltering. "I-I even almost tried to stop him calling you because I was so angry with him for saying what he said..."

I reached for Alice's hand, grasping her fingers with mine. The last thing I needed was for her to start blaming herself too. I was just glad that it had been Joey who had called me and that the call had connected, despite Jake throwing the phone on the floor.

"And then we heard you tell him to get off you and realised something was wrong..." Alice slipped into silence then, managing to keep her tears at bay.

I stayed quiet too, my pondering over what had happened a welcome distraction from the pain and from the fact that Joey still wasn't here. I _needed_ to see him.

I stared at the door, willing for it to open and for Joey to walk in. The fingers of my hand that wasn't holding Alice's reached upwards towards my neck subconsciously, expecting to feel my necklace lying there...and closing around nothing.

"My necklace is gone," I proclaimed, panic clear in my voice.

"Calm down; Joey's got it," Alice assured me, her eyes flashing worriedly to the monitor as my heart rate increased dramatically. "They took it off for the X-Rays, that's all."

This didn't make me feel better though; it felt ominous, and I couldn't put my finger on why.

"I need him, Alice," I cried, flinching as I tried to sit up, uncomfortable with just lying down. "I need him. Can you just go and get him? Please?"

"Your mum's already gone," she told me hurriedly, obviously trying to calm me down. The only thing that would calm me down was Joey, though.

"Can I ask you something?" she said after a long moment of silence. I looked round at her, unsure whether this was a distraction technique or if she was being serious. I nodded all the same. "Is it true ab-"

She stopped as I started shuffling about again. I couldn't take lying down any longer. "What are you doing?" she asked, watching as I struggled against the pain.

"I want to sit up." I threw her a 'what does it look like I'm doing?' glare, placing my palms flat against the bed as I attempted to shuffle upwards, whimpering as the movement stretched my stitches.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Lauren," Alice suggested, looking torn between wanting to be stern with me and not wanting to upset me anymore than I already was.

"Well, I'm going to do it with or without your help," I gasped, flinching as the pain got worse. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I was sick of lying down; it made me feel like I looked as weak as I felt. "But _with_ your help would be much better."

Alice sighed, nodding once and moving to help me sit up. I gripped one of her hands in one of mine, the other flat against the bed still, using that as leverage. I managed to get halfway up before the pain got too much though, and I flopped back down feebly, crying loudly, half in pain, half in frustration, as the stitches protested to the sudden movement.

"What the hell's going on?"

I gasped, looking up as, finally, Joey walked through the door, his eyes quickly surveying the scene before him. He, like Alice, also looked somewhat angry, although his eyes softened as they met my tear-filled ones.

"She wanted to sit up," Alice said, her tone a bit short, if I wasn't mistaken. "I told her not to but she won't take no for an answer."

"Joey," I sobbed, reaching for him like a child as he moved towards me, taking Alice's place at my side, who had now stalked quickly out of the room.

As soon as his arms were around me, all the emotions, and all the tears appeared to spill out of me at once. I wasn't one for breaking down, not really, not like this. But now that Joey, the one person I trusted more than anything, was here my walls crumbled to pieces. I think it was the shock catching up with me more than anything, and my sheer relief that he was finally here.

"C'mere, baby," he murmured, gathering me carefully into him with one arm whilst he brought the head of the bed up with the other so that I could sit up like I had wanted to. He went to set me down but I clung to him, my sobs increasing in volume as he pulled away.

"Alright, it's alright, babe." Joey shrugged out of his jacket, throwing it onto the chair before sitting on the bed next to me and pulling me slowly and gently onto his lap, my head falling straight onto his chest.

I immediately curled closer into him, not caring that it pulled my stitches; I just needed to be held by him. His arms tightened round me, being careful of my abdomen, his lips against my forehead, kissing me every now and then.

"I've got you, you're alright now, you're safe," he whispered. I nodded, dragging oxygen into my lungs as I tried to gain control of the tears. I clutched his t-shirt into my hand, nuzzling my face against him, savouring the feel of finally being in his arms.

"I th-thought you'd gone," I managed to choke out.

"That makes two of us," Joey breathed. The heavy emotion in his voice made me look up at him, stifling a groan as I moved, my heart clenching as I saw that he too had tears in his eyes. I reached up and cupped his cheek as he dropped his forehead to mine. "I thought I'd lost you, Lo."

I shook my head against him, brushing my lips against his.

"I love you," I murmured, smiling despite the tears, leaning my face into his palm as he pushed my hair behind my ear.

"Love you too, baby," he replied, rubbing his hand up and down my back as my eyes closed, cautiously snuggling back into him. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up."

"Doesn't matter," I whispered, pressing my face into his neck. "Just don't go anywhere now."

"Couldn't if I wanted to," he assured me, kissing the top of my head gently.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

Mum returned with the doctor and my dad in tow about fifteen minutes after Joey arrived, which was fortunate because had they come in any earlier I think I would have been too hysterical to listen to a word the doctor said to me.

She ran through everything Mum had already told me but in much more detail, giving me another dose of pain relief before she left and promising me that, depending on how things went for the rest of the day, I could go home later that evening.

I thought for sure she would immediately tell Joey to get down off the bed, but she didn't. Once I had promised her I was more comfortable like this she allowed us to remain how we were. I wasn't lying to her; as long as I wasn't moving and had Joey's arms around me I was more than fine. Mum didn't look too impressed but I think she wisely recognised that she would be fighting a losing battle if she even attempted to take Joey away from me, and vice versa.

Mum and Dad stayed for few minutes after the doctor had left, mum fussing around me whilst Dad remained surprisingly quiet for him. I barely paid any attention to them though, keeping my face pressed into Joey's neck. Tiredness caused from all the drama, all the crying and the upped dose of pain relief was fast catching up with me.

"I'm fine, Mum, honestly," I yawned when she asked me for the tenth time whether she could get me anything.

"I'll look after her, Tanya," Joey said softly, his arms tightening around me carefully.

"C'mon, Tan, let her sleep for a bit," Dad said as he stood up from the chair beside my bed. He leaned over and kissed my cheek, stroking my hair softly. "I'm glad you're okay, sweetheart."

"Me too, Dad," I whispered, reaching for his hand and squeezing it. I knew Dad was definitely taking this whole thing very hard. I suppose for him, it was another situation where he almost lost another child. I shuddered at the thought.

Dad smiled at me, nodding at Joey and clapping a hand on his shoulder before coaxing Mum out of the room.

"Just go to sleep, baby," Joey murmured, brushing his thumb softly over my eyelids as I fought to keep them open.

"You better be here when I wake up this time, or else..." I warned him, smiling slightly against his skin.

I was only half joking too. I hadn't forgotten about my worries over what had made him leave before, or how he might be taking what had happened. Not to mention the tension between him and Alice. Joey was an expert had hiding his feelings when he wanted to be, but I was determined he wouldn't hide this from me.

"I'll be here, Drama Queen," he vowed, laughing softly. His laughter, slightly strained as it was put me at ease, and I kissed the hollow of his throat softly.

For now, he was here, I was here, and the aftermath could wait till later.

**A/n:**

**So, Lauren's going to be fine. Did you really think I would kill her off?!**

**What do you think has happened between Alice and Joey? Do you think Joey is hiding how badly he is taking it all really? Are we out of dramatic waters yet? Only time (and the next chapter) will tell!**

**Thank you SO much for your reviews. Each one of them makes my day just that little bit better. **

**Hope you liked the chapter. No cliffhanger this time - you're welcome. ;) See you next time. x**

**ps. new J/L pics. I need that episode NOW.**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/n:**** I'm so sorry about the wait for this chapter. It's been the hardest to write yet and I am genuinely scared to post it...**

Chapter 32

I woke up a few hours later, smiling as I realised that Joey had kept his promise and hadn't moved an inch. I was still snuggled into his chest, his arms still locked around me. If it wasn't for the persistent pain in my stomach and stinging of the stitches, it would've been a pretty enjoyable moment.

"Hey, sleepy," he murmured, rubbing his hand up and down my arm as I looked up at him blearily. "How're you feeling, babe?"

"I've felt better, I'll be honest," I said, allowing him to help me sit up properly. I managed to resist the urge to stretch up after being curled into Joey for so long, but I knew that my stitches probably wouldn't appreciate that kind of movement.

I noticed as I watched him that the sadness in Joey's eyes still hadn't cleared up completely. I leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to kiss to his cheek, hoping that once we were out of here he would cheer up a bit.

"Can I have my necklace back now, please?" I asked, remembering that he still had it. I knew he had only just given it to me but I already felt strange not wearing it.

"Of course," he nodded, smiling a little now, retrieving it from his pocket and fastening it round my neck. "Better?"

"Much," I replied, pulling his lips down to mine and shuddering as he reciprocated the kiss because damn did this boy know how to kiss and do it well.

As much as I didn't want to move from his arms, and as much as I really didn't want to test how my injury was going to take to me walking, my bladder had other ideas. And considering I wasn't hooked up to any machines anymore, I figured I was allowed to get up and have a wander about if I wanted to.

"Um, can you help me down properly please?" I asked Joey once we both had our breath back, shuffling forwards slightly, trying not to irritate the stitches with any movement.

"Why, babe?" he asked.

"I just need to get down," I told him, continuing to move closer to the edge of the bed.

"Why? What's wrong?" he insisted worriedly. When I still didn't answer him he stopped me moving forward any further, his arms caging me in. "Tell me."

"No, it's just...I need to pee," I mumbled, blushing.

"Is that it?" Joey rolled his eyes. "Why didn't you just say so? So dramatic."

I laughed, my laugh turning into a small shriek as he carefully swung me up into his arms lifted me down off the bed, but didn't put me down onto the floor.

"I can walk, Joe," I giggled, although secretly I was enjoying being carried by him.

"I know you can," he replied nonchalantly, making no effort to put me down. Deciding it was no use fighting him on this, I wrapped my arm more securely around his broad shoulders, managing to smother my smirk as one of the nurses cast a disapproving and somewhat jealous eye upon us.

_Get your own, honey. This one's all mine._

He carried me all the way down the corridor to the toilets until I finally put my foot down, literally. And to be honest, once I was stood up and over the initial tug of the stitches, it wasn't actually that bad.

"You're not coming in here," I warned him, poking his bicep with my index finger. "I can manage."

He held his hands up to me in mock surrender, smirking slightly as I pushed the door open.

Once I was done, I studied myself in the mirror before leaving. I looked pale and a bit tired still, but on the whole, I had definitely looked a lot worse. Compared to the last time I was here, slightly yellow and suffering the glorious after-effects of having my stomach pumped, I looked positively glowing.

I could hear Joey talking to someone as I left the toilets and was surprised to see Alice stood next to him, neither of them looking too happy with each other. I had assumed that Alice had gone home ages ago, but apparently not, and clearly the tension between them hadn't gone either.

"I need to talk to you about what you said, and what_ I_ said," she told him, completely unruffled by the hostile look on her brother's face. "Mum wants to talk to you as well."

"I don't want to talk to you right now," Joey bit back, leaving no room for argument in his tone. "Either of you."

I was confused, casting my mind back to their argument after we had left The Vic. There had definitely been some skeletons dragged out of closets, that was for sure, and I wondered how much had actually been revealed, assuming of course that their argument had continued to be about Derek.

"We both said things we shouldn't have said and-"

"I meant everything I said and so did you," Joey insisted, cutting Alice off.

Deciding I didn't want to eavesdrop any further I made my presence known, letting the door shut behind me. They both turned to face me, Alice making an effort to smile whilst Joey seemed to revert into himself.

"What's going on?" I asked, taking the hand Joey held out to me. At least he wasn't completely blocking me out.

"Nothing, Alice was just going," Joey said, his tone short. Alice rolled her eyes, giving him a scathing look before turning back to me.

"I brought you some clothes and stuff so you can change," she explained, holding up a weekend bag. "Thought you might need it."

"You didn't have to do that," I said, smiling at her gratefully as I took the bag from her. Joey's fingers immediately prised it out of mine, however. Heaven forbid I carry a bag. "Thank you, though. I appreciate it. Don't much fancy being seen by the outside world in this contraption," I joked, indicating the hideous hospital robe.

"No problem," she replied, glancing at Joey awkwardly before speaking again. "Oh and Mum sends you her love."

"Well, tell her thanks." I supposed if anyone understood the position I was in right now, it was Joey and Alice's mum. She had been attacked by Sean, my by Jake. Except the only difference was she hadn't done anything about it.

_Don't even go there right now. _

"Anyway, I'll see you later, yeah? Glad to see you looking a bit better," Alice said before turning to Joey once more. "We're going to have that conversation. This isn't over."

Rather than reply, Joey wrapped his arm around my waist and began to silently lead me back to my room. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to ask or not. On the one hand it might be best to just leave it for a bit until he calms down, or on the other it might be best to just get it out in the open.

"Do you want to talk about what just happened there?" I asked once we were back in my room. I thought I would give him the option to talk if he wanted to.

"No," he replied firmly, giving me a 'please just drop it' look.

"Okay," I conceded, taking the bag from him and placing it on the bed. "Will you help me get changed?"

Joey nodded, seeming happy for the distraction. We managed to get my leggings on fairly easily, and it was all going well until he saw the mess the right side of my stomach was in. He lightly brushed his fingers over the bruises down my side, his jaw clenching angrily as he spotted the unmistakable marks Jake's fingers had left at my waist.

"What a mess, eh?" I said quietly, shivering slightly, partly from the cold and partly from the sensations of Joey's fingers against the tender skin around my stitches.

"Yeah, a mess_ I_ got you into," he retorted, pulling his hand away from my stomach as he helped me pull my top over my head.

"What?" I said, looking at him pointedly as I carefully pulled my arms through the top. "If you hadn't been there I don't know what would have happened. You _saved_ me, Joey."

"If I had never been there, if we had never met, you wouldn't have needed to be saved in the first place." His words like a slap in the face.

"Do you actually hear yourself?" I questioned, grasping fistfuls of his t-shirt and pulling him towards me so that he was stood between my legs. "I already knew Jake, in case you had forgotten. There's no saying this wouldn't have happened sooner or later."

"I'm not good for you, babe," he told me, his thumb brushing down my cheek. "You've seen what happened with Jake; he turned out exactly like Sean. What if that happens to me?"

"Joey, I don't even want to dignify that with an answer," I muttered. "And not because I think it's going to happen, but because I can't believe that after all this time you _still_ think you could ever end up like Derek."

Joey didn't respond. What could he really say? We had had this argument so many times before. I mean, I could understand why yesterday had brought his fears back up to the surface, but at the same time, I just didn't understand how he could compare himself to Jake or to Derek. Clearly he would just need time until he finally believed it, if time was what he wanted, that is.

"What are you really saying, Joe?" My voice was tiny as a spoke, my hand now flat against his chest, his heart beating below my palm. "Do you want us to break up?"

"No, god no, of course I don't want that," Joey replied, reaching up and tucking my hair behind my ear. "It's just that Alice is right ain't she? I-"

I sighed in frustration as the door opened, Joey's speech coming to a sharp halt as my doctor walked in, the moment completely interrupted. From what I could gather, whatever it was that was eating away at him was something that been said between him and Alice.

As he helped me sit back against the bed, I threw him a look that told him clear as day that we would pick this conversation up later, before turning to the doctor as she asked to check my stitches.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

About an hour later I was given the all clear to go, much to my relief; I didn't know how much more I could have taken of people constantly asking me if I was okay. I just wanted to go home, curl up on the sofa with Joey and do nothing and have no more fuss over me or what had happened.

More than anything I just wanted to forget the whole thing. The police had been in so that I could give them a statement, and since then everyone's mood seemed to go downhill, Joey's even more so. Mum got upset again, Dad and Joey got angry, and I got increasingly frustrated with everything and everyone.

Needless to say, I was happy to finally be almost ready to go. Joey helped me down off the bed where I had been sitting waiting whilst Mum and Dad went to pick up my prescription for me.

"This is gonna get old fast," I said, groaning as I stood up properly, clenching Joey's hands in mine as he steadied me. It had been kind of fun at first with the whole being carried thing, but I hated feeling like I was completely dependent on other people, even when other people came in the shape of Joey.

"So is your whinging, babe," he quipped in return, leaning forwards and pecking my lips and smiling at me, although it didn't reach his eyes. I was just about to ask him what was wrong again when Mum returned, tablets in hand, all ready to go.

"Well, darlin', we've made your room nice and comfortable for you," Mum announced, smiling at me as she handed me my jacket. "And I've stocked up on your favourite foods and made you a bed on the sofa like I used to when you were little so that we can have some girly time whilst you get better..."

"Wait, what are you talking about, Mum?" I interrupted, completely confused as to why she would think I was going to back to Walford with her.

"What do you think I'm talking about? When you come home I want you to be as comfortable as possible." When I still looked none the wiser Mum looked a bit sheepish, looking at me apologetically. "Is that not the right thing to have done? Do you not want the sofa bed? Have I gone too far? I know you don't like a fuss but..."

I held my hands up to stop her torrent of questions, rolling my eyes at Joey as I glanced round at him. He threw me a very small and seemingly-forced smile in response. I decided I was definitely going to have to distract him from his sulkiness when we got back, in a way that has proved very successful in the past.

"Um, Mum, as nice as that is of you, and as much as I appreciate that you've gone to all that trouble, I'm not going home," I told her as gently as possible. "Well, not home as in Walford, anyway. Walford isn't really my home anymore..."

_Oh, very gentle, Lauren. _

"Lauren, you can't really think we're going to let you go back with Joey, can you?" Dad piped up, scratching the back of his neck as he took in the increasing look of irritation on my face. "You need to be looked after properly."

"I don't think you're going to _let_ me do anything," I snapped. I moved to put my hands on my hips angrily but changed my mind when I unintentionally applied unwanted pressure to the skin just below my stitches. "I'm an adult; I decide what I want to do and I want to go back home with my boyfriend and my friend."

"We're not saying you have to stay forever, Lauren," Mum said, making an effort to keep her voice soft. "But you should come home just while you're healing so that you have someone to look after you."

"I don't _need_ looking after," I insisted, looking Mum straight in the eye. "Jesus, it's just a few stitches. I have tablets and Dr Caldy showed me how to do the dressings. I'm fine."

"Yes, but if something goes wrong th-" I cut her off again.

"What can go wrong? I choke on a tablet? I put the dressing on the wrong way round? I fall onto some more glass?" I laughed at my last point, although I was the only one.

"That's not funny, Lauren," Dad scolded me.

"Sorry," I mumbled, guiltily looking round at them all. Joey's face paled as my eyes met his and I felt even more awful for my tasteless joke. I was going to have to get used the fact that he wasn't going to get over his irrational guilt overnight. Reaching for his hand I entwined out fingers and mouthed another apology to him.

"Look, just come home for a few days even," Mum bargained with me, taking advantage of my distraction. "Then, _just in case_, I can help you on the off chance that something happens."

"Do you think Joey and Alice would just leave me to deal with something by myself or something?" I argued, wishing that Joey would say something to back me up like he had done earlier this morning before I had fallen asleep.

"No, of course not," Mum said, "but they both work and you would be left on your own a lot..."

"You work," I deadpanned, getting tired of the whole conversation.

"I've left Poppy in charge for a few days; she can manage," Mum replied. I could see on her face that she was reaching the end of her tether with this topic too. "So just stop being dramatic and stubborn and let's go."

"I'm not coming to Walford with you, I just _told_ you," I stressed, seconds away from stamping my foot like a three year old.

"I think you should go with them," Joey said suddenly, his voice low.

I looked up at him, unable to keep the shock and hurt off my face. Not that he reacted to this; his jaw remained locked and his eyes strangely blank as he just stared at me stoically.

"What?" It had meant to come out as harshly as I had thought it, but my voice was barely more than a whisper.

"I think you should go and stay with your mum and dad," he repeated. His voice sounded all wrong; he sounded cut-off, like he was talking to someone he didn't know.

"Is this because I was moaning before about not wanting any help? Because I'll stop that," I assured him, watching out of the corner of my eye as my mum and dad snuck out of the room, apparently giving us some privacy. "I was just being stupid..."

"No, babe, of course it's not," Joey said, stepping towards me and placing his hands against my cheeks, cupping my face gently. "I just...think it would be for the best."

I remained silent for a while, trying to decipher exactly what he meant by this. His eyes were still unreadable though and I felt my panic turn up a notch.

"I thought you said you didn't want us to break up?" I asked quietly, terrified of the answer. How had we ended up here? Again?

"I don't. I don't want to break up with you, Lo. I'm not breaking up with you," he said, his thumbs wiping across my cheeks as a couple of tears escaped.

"Sounds like a break-up to me, Joe." My lip wobbled as I spoke, my voice cracking. I couldn't stop myself from leaning into his touch, knowing that if this was going where I was dreading it was, I would have to make the most of it while I still could.

"I just think that we should have some time apart," he told me, still quiet but firm.

"What the hell for?!" I demanded, pulling his hands from my face and gripping them tightly in my own. Joey swallowed, a little more emotion flooding into his eyes.

"Listen to me, I know you say that you're not bothered about what happened and that you don't think I'm just as bad as my dad even though it's my fault you fell," I went to interrupt him here but he didn't let me get a word in edgeways, "but I think you need to take some time to think about it. Think if this is what you really want."

I exhaled loudly, rolling my eyes. I couldn't believe we were back at this _again_. What the hell had Alice said to him?

"Oh my god, Joey," I sighed, letting go of his hands and rubbing my face tiredly before glaring up at him. "What was that you said to me not long after we first met? You promised me that we would never turn into our parents. _Never_. What changed? Why do you think you're like him now? Because you saved me from an absolute creep? Me falling onto that glass had nothing to do with you!"

"If I hadn't been there this wouldn't have happened," he replied.

"If you hadn't been there he probably would have raped me!" I cried, both of wincing at my brutal honesty. "Why do you think _you're_ the bad guy?"

"Just think about it, Lauren," Joey said, ignoring my question. "Think if this is still what you want. A relationship which is always going to be complicated."

"It's only complicated because you're making it complicated! You know this is what I want! How can you not know?" My voice was getting louder but I didn't care. "What about all that stuff you said to me before about thinking you had lost me? About loving me? Was all just words? Was everything just words?"

Joey visibly flinched but didn't say anything else. We stood in silence for a long time, the sound being my heavy breathing as I desperately tried to contain my sobbing. Joey eventually moved, reaching up and starting to tuck my hair behind my ear.

"No," I said, shaking my head and moving out of his reach, feeling all my walls go up in front of him for the first time ever. "No don't do that if it doesn't mean anything. I can't take it."

"Of course it means something, Lo." I felt my heart clench as he used my nickname again. He was the only person who used it. It was our thing. Only now it hurt rather than comforted. "You mean everything to me, baby, you have no idea. That's why we need to do this."

"That makes no sense," I argued.

"You came to live with us as your fresh start and we found that connection between us and we got carried away in the whirlwind of it," Joey explained, "and I'm not saying it isn't genuine, because I have never felt so strongly about anything or anyone in my life, you know that. But I need to know that this would still be what you want when you're away from it all."

"So this is for your ego is it? I spat, feeling anger mix with the sadness as I threw him a disgusted look. "You want to know that I would _miss you_, that I would _pine _after you, is that it?"

"No, Lauren," Joey insisted, sincerity burning in his eyes. "God, no. I just don't want you to feel like just because your fresh start worked you have to now stay with me. I told you ages ago that I didn't want to end up being one of the things you're running away from."

"Okay, so not only have you just belittled my ability to take control of my life but you have also belittled my feelings for you. Nice, Joey," I seethed. It was hard to believe that my birthday had only been forty-eight hours ago. It felt like years ago. How could everything have gone from so simple to so complicated so fast?

"You know I don't mean it like that, Lauren," Joey said, moving into me again, his hands cupping my face again. I couldn't bring myself to fight against him. I didn't want to. "I love you. I love you so much I don't how to deal with it sometimes. But I need you to do this. Not for me, but for you. I need you to be sure."

"Fine," I whispered after a prolonged moment, choking on the single word. His voice telling me he loved me was echoing in my head and yet it wasn't making me feel better, it was making me even worse. "You better take this back then."

His hands stopped mine as they reached for the clasp of the necklace at the back of my neck, his warm fingers closing over mine. It felt like every time I inhaled I was wedging a jagged piece of ice into my heart.

"No," Joey breathed. "That's yours, whatever you decide. It belongs to you."

I nodded once, pulling my hands free of his and wiping away my tears with the back of my hand. I looked up at him, forcing myself to looking to his eyes and immediately regretting it as I saw the pain in them. Why was he doing this when it was obviously hurting us both?

Turning towards the door I looked over my shoulder as I opened it, opening my mouth before closing it again as the word 'bye' died on my tongue. I couldn't say bye to him. Not like this. Not now. Not after everything we had been through.

This wasn't goodbye, was it?

**A/n:**** Argh please don't hate me! This had to happen! **

**Is it goodbye? What do you think Alice said to him? Do you think Joey's reasons were valid or do you think he's being an idiot?**

**Thank you so much for all of the reviews for the last chapter - they are appreciated as always. To the Guest reviewers I couldn't reply to but really wish I could, thank you so so so much for all the lovely things you write - it means a lot! :)**

**See you next time (if you don't hate me too much to read anymore, of course :'(). Bitchy twiglet makes an appearance, if that sways you at all. ;) x **


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

It was a year ago today that I moved out of Walford, ready for a fresh start and with every intention of eventually being the epitome of independence. It didn't feel like a year ago; maybe a couple of months at the most. And even though I hadn't really had any clue as to what I was getting myself into, if you had told me that exactly twelve months later I would end up back where I started, curled up under my covers for the third day in a row, heartbroken over another boy, I would have told you quite clearly where to go.

And yet, there I was, as if nothing had changed. Except that everything had changed. Because Joey wasn't just some boy; he was the love of my life, controversial circumstances be damned. And even though three days had gone by, I still couldn't understand why he had pushed me away like he had done. I could see where he was coming from; both Derek and his mum had done a real number on him. But I couldn't _understand_ it.

I couldn't stand why he seemed to have so easily forgotten all the amazingly romantic things he had done for my birthday. How he could have forgotten how caring and how protective and how completely _un_-Derek-like he had been for the whole, entire time I had known him.

I couldn't understand how he could so easily have just pushed me away, dismissed our relationship.

_You don't know that this is easy for him._

I sighed, knowing these thoughts were getting me nowhere. I could probably do better if I wasn't so bloody tired. Even though my tablets were pretty strong, and even though I felt completely drained, it seemed as though my mind no longer knew how to shut down properly if Joey wasn't with me.

For three nights now I had agonised over how no matter how many layers I put on, I couldn't recreate the equivalent heat that Joey's body provided. And no matter how tightly I wrapped the duvet round me, it never made me feel as secure as his arms did. And no matter how many times I picked up my phone in order to ring him, just so that I could hear his voice, pathetic as it sounds, I just couldn't bring myself to do it; some sort of stubborn defence mechanism stopping me each and every time.

So, yes, other than the odd hour or two of uneasy slumber every now and then, I hadn't really slept properly since the few hours I had had in the hospital. This lack of sleep, on top of the frustration from the constant aching of my stitches, had me in a pretty much constant bad mood.

My fingers found the necklace lying around my neck for the billionth time. I couldn't bring myself to take it off. Taking it off would make it all real. I knew he had said that he wanted me to keep it, whatever happens, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't keep a piece of jewellery which had once had a whole future planned out around it and not see that future pan out. I just couldn't.

_You're thinking like it's already over, but you don't know that. Otherwise you would've taken it off already._

Whilst that was true, it was also true that I was glutton for punishment. Maybe not taking it off was just my way of ensuring that I felt as low as I possibly could.

A year ago today I thought I had already fallen way past rock bottom. But it turns out I was wrong. Again.

A knock on my door interrupted my self-loathing, Dad walking through without waiting for a response from me.

"Tea," he announced simply, placing a mug down on my bedside table with more force than was necessary, tea sloshing over the top of the mug onto the place mat.

Dad wasn't very happy with my behaviour. I think, in truth, even though he had given us his blessing, he thought Joey was right and thought it would be best if we weren't together. Strangely enough, Mum, who hadn't originally given us her blessing, had taken the complete opposite stance and was being oddly sympathetic and dropping hints at every opportunity that I should try and talk things over with Joey.

"Thanks," I mumbled, slowly pushing myself into a sitting position and bringing the mug to my lips, grateful for the warmth of the china despite it being nice weather outside.

"Are you gonna get up today then?" Dad asked me, "I think three days of wallowing is enough, don't you?"

I didn't respond, merely shrugging slightly as I blew onto my tea, avoiding his eyes. Three days or not, I didn't want to get up; what was there to get up for? And besides, it was a bit hypocritical for _Dad _to call me out on wallowing; he practically invented it.

"Have you even spoken to Joey?" he questioned reluctantly, sighing when I winced slightly at Joey's name. "Maybe you should, do you think?"

The honest answer was I didn't know what I should or should not do because I had no idea where I stood with Joey. He had said it wasn't a break-up as such, but was it? Was this his way of saying he _wanted_ to break up? How long was this self-imposed purgatory supposed to go on for?

And even if we did end up back together, could it ever be the same now? It didn't feel like it.

"I don't know, Dad," I told him eventually. "I really don't know."

"Fine," he sighed as he started to move back towards the door, shaking his head at me. "Well, I'm off to the car lot so you're the only one in now."

"Right," I replied, relieved that I would at least get a few hours break from Mum, Dad and Abi fussing.

The only person who wasn't annoying me was Oscar. I had only smiled once in the last three days because he had climbed into bed with me and offered to share his chocolate buttons like he used to when I still lived here. Thank god for Oscar.

"I'm expecting a parcel to arrive today so if you could be so kind as to drag yourself out of bed and answer the door when it comes, that would be great," Dad said, not attempting to keep the sarcasm out of his voice now. Weirdly this annoyed me much less than his fussing.

"Right," I repeated, resisting the temptation to roll my eyes.

Dad paused as he reached the door, turning back round to me and smiling sadly.

"Try and get up, Lauren," he encouraged. "I can't stand seeing you like this again."

I forced myself to return to him a small smile, although it was more like a grimace, appreciating his sentiment. I couldn't stand seeing myself like this either, but what can you do?

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

I had just about managed to drift off again when the doorbell sounded, the noise clawing me back out of unconsciousness. I groaned, forcing myself to get up and mentally cursing the fact that no one else was in, contradicting my earlier sentiments.

Making it safely but slowly to the bottom of the stairs, I swung the door open apathetically, balking when, rather than it being a postman on the other side, Lucy Beale shuffled nervously on the spot, smiling at me slightly

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," I groaned, moving to slam the door shut in her stupid face. I had been trying not to think about her input in what happened with Jake; I had bigger problems to deal with.

"Lauren, please, let me explain," she pleaded, jamming the door open with her foot. "I just need to explain."

"You want to explain? Do it to the police," I told her, snarling as I did so. She was making me feel sick. The thought of her telling Jake that I had come back to Walford was making me feel sick. Everything was making me feel sick.

"I already have done," she replied. "I gave them a statement straight away."

"What do you want then? A certificate?" I demanded sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"No, I just want to give you my side of the story," she insisted. "He was threatening me, Lauren. I didn't know what to do, I was scared."

"I don't care," I spat, exaggerating each syllable as I tried to shut the door. "I don't want to talk to anyone who's prepared to sell me out to a creep like _him_."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I-"

"Save it; I'm not interested," I assured her. "You have _no idea_ how much trouble you've caused with your incapability to not act like a complete cow."

If she hadn't told Jake where I was, nothing would have happened. Alice and Joey still would've argued, but there would've been a much greater chance that it wouldn't have ended with Joey half-breaking-up with me because he irrationally compared himself with Jake.

"I didn't know you would go back home, Lauren, I swear," she continued, talking fast so that I couldn't interrupt her. "He had been asking me all night where you were and I told him you would be at the house because I thought that once you left The Vic you would go home with Joey and I knew you'd be safe with him. I didn't think you would go back to the house by yourself-"

"STOP," I shouted over the top of her. I didn't want to hear this. I didn't even care if she was being genuine, or if she thought that in some twisted sort of way she had been looking out for me; we were never, ever going to be friends anymore. "I don't care, Lucy. I don't care if any of that is true, I don't care that he was threatening you; you should've gone to the police, shouldn't you? I'm not interested in _anything_ you have to say anymore."

"Lauren, please, I'm sorry, I really am," she sobbed pathetically.

"Yeah, well, so am I," I sighed, finally succeeding with moving her foot from the door. "Goodbye, Lucy. Please don't come back round."

With that, I shut the door on her, just about resisting the temptation to slam it. We might have been best friends once, but this time, it was definitely the final straw; there was no way back from that kind of betrayal. The relationship was way too messed up. I shuddered, hoping that mine and Joey's relationship wasn't going the same way.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

A few hours later I was back in bed. The adrenaline of telling Lucy exactly what I thought of her had spurred me into getting a shower and getting some food, however it didn't take long for my thoughts to return to Joey and I ended up back in bed, teary-eyed and feeling sorry for myself.

I was missing him more than ever. Some ridiculously hopeful part of my brain was still kind of hoping that all of this was just a really horrendous nightmare.

"Abi, I_ told _you, I don't want anything to eat," I called as for the fifth time in the past half-hour she knocked at the door trying to lure me downstairs to eat dinner with them.

"It's not Abi, it's me."

I rolled over suddenly, wincing as the movement pulled at my stitches as Alice popped her head round the door.

"Can I come in?" she asked tentatively, smiling when I nodded.

"Well, you look about as bad as my stupid brother does. No offense," she added as she perched herself on the bed next to me.

"None taken; it sounded like a compliment," I muttered sarcastically.

_She should've seen you before you had a shower._

I didn't really care how bad I looked at the moment. I did, however, take some slight, morbid enjoyment from the fact that Joey didn't look good either. I hoped this meant he was missing me too. I hoped it meant he had hurt himself as much as he had hurt me. But I wouldn't get my hopes up.

_Too late._

"How are the stitches?" she asked as I slowly sat up, leaning my pillows against the headboard and settling back against them.

"Annoying," I retorted.

"So, I've been trying to call you," Alice said after a minute of almost-uncomfortable silence when I didn't expand any further on how I felt about the state of my stomach.

"I know," I replied, feeling a bit guilty. "I wasn't really in the mood for talking."

"Honestly, like two peas in a pod," she mumbled under her breath. "No, seems like it's catching." I raised my eyebrow at her, unsure what she meant by that. "Oh, Joey apparently isn't in the mood for talking either. He's completely blanking me now, and I'm fairly certain he punched the wall when he got back from the hospital."

"He _punched_ the wall?" Where was that going to get him? _He_ broke up with _me_, not the other way round.

_He didn't break up with you...ish._

"Yeah, he's angry with himself, I think," Alice explained, looking at my sympathetically. I didn't like it; I didn't want her sympathy. I just wanted Joey back. I wanted to understand what the hell happened.

"Why did he do it, Alice?" I asked her, my voice breaking the silence that had fallen over us. "Does he not trust me, is that it? Is that why he feels the need to push me away as soon as things get a little bit tough?"

"No, Joey trusts you more than he has ever trusted anyone, believe me." She paused, sighing wearily. "It's himself he doesn't trust."

"If he trusts me, why doesn't he trust that I love him?" I looked at my necklace as I spoke. Why would he have given me this necklace, talked about us getting married one day, talked about me having his babies one day, if he didn't trust that I love him? If he didn't trust that I wanted him for _him_, and that I knew it was him I wanted and no one else for the rest of my life?

"Because he's scared," she replied simply, shrugging at my sceptical look. "Look, you've got to understand that before he met you he wasn't really bothered about anyone but himself. I'm not saying her was a horrible person, but he wasn't anywhere near as caring as he is now with you. He almost lost you the other day and it tore him up."

I didn't know what to say to that. Her words were a balm and an irritant to me, because if you almost lose someone and you're upset about that, surely you don't then push them even further away?

"He _cried_, Lauren," Alice whispered, almost as though this was like secret between us. "When you lost consciousness before the ambulance got there and he couldn't wake you up or do anything for you, he just broke down. I haven't seen Joey cry since... I don't even know when."

My heart throbbed in my chest at the image if Joey crying. I didn't want him to have cried over me. I felt tears build in my own eyes, my confusion increasing.

"He thinks he isn't good enough for me, Alice," I told her, my voice breaking slightly. "How can he think that when no one has ever loved me as much as does?"

Alice took my hand, not saying anything at first. What could she say, really? And even if she did have the answer to that question, I'm not sure I wanted to hear it.

"Okay, I have to confess something," she said eventaully, suddenly sounding much less sure of herself than she had done before.

"What?" I asked, meeting her eyes once again.

"I think it may have been my fault..."She trailed off, biting her lip, guilt shining in her eyes.

"What do you mean? What was your fault?" As I spoke though, I remembered my intrigue over what had been discussed between Alice and Joey when they had argued, and why whatever it was had put both of them in such foul moods.

I had been so focused on myself and Joey the past few days that I had forgotten all about what _Alice_ may have had to do with any of it. Even when she had called me several times the memory hadn't been triggered, although that could just be because I had never actually answered her...

"I kind of said something I shouldn't have said..." I gave her a dark look as she trailed off yet again. Joey had started to tell me about something Alice had said when my doctor interrupted us.

"Go on," I urged, sitting up straighter and pulling my hand out of her grasp, ignoring her slight pout. I could feel my temper prickling and I didn't even know what it was she had said yet.

"Look, you have to understand that I was really angry with him," she stressed, already sounding defensive. "He was saying all this stuff about D-Dad and he wouldn't let me get a word in edgeways and I just wanted him to stop and it just came out and I didn't mean it, I swear, I didn't mean it."

Her words were tumbling out so fast I could barely understand her now and I could see that she was starting to become more and more worked up. I was trying to be patient, but the longer she stalled on her story, the more protective I was becoming of Joey and of the rubble out relationship had crumbled into.

"Alice, just tell me," I insisted, giving her what I hoped was a poignant but encouraging glare.

"I t-told him he was just like him," she breathed, unable to meet my eyes. "I told him he was exactly the same as him."

"The same as who?" I asked through clenched teeth. I was fairly confident I knew exactly who she meant but I didn't want acknowledge that she could have actually said those words to him.

"I told him he was exactly the same as our dad," she admitted.

"WHAT?!"

"I know, I know." Tears were pouring down her face now, her mascara smudging under her eyes as she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.

"How could you have said that to him, Alice?" I knew she had always been blindsided by Derek and that she hadn't known the whole story, but he had obviously started to tell her at least part of it for her to get so angry with him. "Joey is nothing like your dad."

"I know that now!" she snapped. "I don't know why I said it. He just sprung all this stuff onto me about all these..._horrible_ things Dad had done and what he did to Mum and I didn't want to believe him, did I? I thought he was lying, making stuff up because he hated Dad so much, just like Dad used to over-exaggerate, and it just came out and before I could take it back he started trying to call you and then you know what happened next..."

We sat in silence for a long time, both of us mulling over everything she had said. So many different emotions were coursing through me I didn't know which to focus on. As disgusted as I was with everything I had just heard, I was sort of selfishly relieved to finally know that it wasn't anything I had done to cause Joey to want to push me away.

I was relieved as well that the cat was finally out of the bag on the Derek-front. However my relief was outweighed by my anger that, as I had feared, Joey had ended up being the one to get hurt in this whole messed-up situation.

"You need to fix this, Alice," I told her sharply, breaking the icy silence. Alice was one of a very, _very_ select few people Joey paid any attention to, and it was just not acceptable that she had said pretty much the worst thing she could have done to him.

"How can I when he won't talk to me? He won't let me explain, he won't let Mum explain, he's just blocked everyone out," she explained, sniffing. "He'll listen to you though."

"He didn't want me there, remember?" I replied, some residual bitterness returning to the surface as I realised that he had considered it a better option to not talk to me about it and make us _both_ miserable than to just let me in. I would never underestimate how deep the scars from Derek's behaviour ran, but I couldn't help but be hurt that he had underestimated how strong our relationship was.

"That was his anger at me talking," she said. "He does want you there. It's the only thing I'm sure of."

"Why hasn't he tried to talk to me then?" I questioned, raising my eyebrow at her. "He could've called me, he could've come round. But...nothing."

"The same reason you haven't tried to talk to him," she explained, a hopeful tone to her voice now. "You're both upset."

"Yeah, well, maybe he was angry with you, but he didn't need to block me out as well," I sighed.

"Don't let me have ruined things for you both, Lauren," Alice pleaded. "Please. I'm actually begging you. I love my brother and I know that you do too. Please just go and talk to him."

"I think you should just go, Alice," I told her. I couldn't do all of this now. I needed time to think, to get my head straight, to figure out what I wanted, just like Joey wanted me to, I realised bitterly.

I could tell Alice had a lot more she wanted to say, but she got up anyway, clearly seeing that now wasn't the time to push this any further.

"He loves you, Lauren," she said as she reached the door. "Please don't let him throw it all away because of me."

I didn't answer her, looking away as she closed the door behind her. I leant my chin against my knees, curling my legs up and wrapping my arms around them, ignoring how uncomfortable the position was for my stomach.

Unbidden, the memory of the first time I met Joey flooded into my mind. I remembered crashing into him at the bottom of the stairs, his arms going round me as he steadied me, his eyes boring into mine as I looked up at him and that strange electricity humming between us.

Who would've thought we could've gone from_ that_ to where we were now?

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

"Er, excuse me, where do you think you're going?" Mum said, storming out of the kitchen and down the hallway.

After Alice left, I managed to compose myself, her departing words lingering in my head. She was right; I didn't want to let him throw our relationship away over something she had said, over something that happened in the past and should bloody well stay there.

So, I had got dressed, haphazardly thrown a few things into my bag, including my tablets, and was dead-set on going to see Joey. Not for Alice, not even for Joey really, but for myself, because, unlike the majority of the rest of my family, I didn't believe that burying your head in the sand is the best option when things get tough.

"Home," I replied, pulling on my leather jacket before slinging my bag over my left shoulder, being careful not to aggravate any of the bruises or the stitches on my right side.

"What are talking about?" Mum demanded. Clearly she wasn't going to let me pull off a smooth getaway. "You are home."

"Fine, my second home then," I quipped, rolling my eyes and reaching for the door.

"Lauren, you've barely been out of bed for the last three days," she argued, crossing her arms in front of her. "You've barely eaten anything, barely spoken to anyone, you're recovering from being attacked, you're on medication and now you want to go gallivanting off to the other side of London to see a boy who hasn't tried to contact you once since the hospital?"

"It's the _same_ side of London," I retorted. "And it doesn't matter. I understand now."

Mum sighed, her eyes scrutinising my face for a prolonged moment, obviously seeing the determination there.

"I know I told you to try and talk to him the other day, but do you really know what you're doing, darling?" she asked, stroking my cheek softly. "I don't want to see you get hurt again."

"I've got to try, Mum," I told her quietly, looking at her sincerely. "I just have to..."

"Okay," she agreed, nodding at me and smiling slightly, a hint of pride in her eyes. "Just be careful. Why don't you let your dad drive you, eh?"

"No," I insisted as I open the front door. "At this time the traffic will be that bad it'll be quicker to just get the tube."

"I love you, sweetie," Mum called as I was halfway down the steps.

"I know, Mum," I replied, berating myself for choking up a little; I was going to need much more secure armour than that if I was going to do this.

Because I was going to fight for us, fight for me and Joey. And even if this _was_ the end, even if this_ did_ all fall to pieces, I'd be damned if I didn't go down fighting.

**A/N:**

**So, Lauren's going to find the feisty in her and fight for what she wants. Do you think she'll manage it? Do you agree with how she treated Bitchy Twiglet? Do we all hate Alice just a little bit, even if she was upset when she said it?**

**Thank you SO much for the reviews for the last chapter. I replied to the signed ones, so, once again, for the Guest reviewers, consider this your huge thank you - I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. :)**

**Joey and his arms are back next chapter. ;) See you then! x**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N:**** So, Lauren's going to fight for what she wants. And, as promised, Joey and his arms are back...**

Chapter 34

I let myself in to the house, apprehension suddenly taking hold. I could barely remember getting here; the entire journey I had been more focused on what was going to happen, how I was going to cope, if Joey continued to keep me at arm's length, if I actually had to accept that this was the end of us.

Shutting the door behind me, I dropped my bag and shouted a 'hello' into the house. I had been expecting to see Alice, or more likely hear her before I could see her, considering how much she had wanted me to do this earlier on. But there was no Alice, and from the unbroken silence, I had a horrible feeling that Joey wasn't here either.

In all my over-thinking and my rooting out the worst case scenario's, I hadn't anticipated what I would do if Joey wasn't here. It had stupidly never crossed my mind that there would be a very good chance that he would be at work tonight, and seeing as it was now nearing eight o' clock, he had likely been there a good while now.

I sighed, feeling even more deflated, my determination sinking even deeper beneath my lack of self-confidence and just sheer exhaustion. I had been tired before, but the journey here had completely taken it out of me.

Making my way upstairs, I decided that maybe it was actually a blessing that he wasn't here. At least this way I could have a bit of a sleep, or at least a rest considering that I hadn't actually been able to sleep properly without Joey. Hopefully then I would have my head a bit straighter by the time he got back and we could finally have this conversation, if that was the right word for whatever battle was coming.

My room was pretty much exactly as I had left it on my birthday. Shrugging out of my jacket, I couldn't help but feel glad to be back here, in spite of the current situation. My eyes strayed over to my desk, my cheeks flaming as I spotted the paint pots which hadn't been put away, the memory of Joey painting on me flooding into my mind. It was quite a contrast between then and now, even if it was only a few days ago.

I got changed into my pyjamas, and when I say pyjamas I mean one of Joey's t-shirts. It was only a t-shirt, and it only _just_ still smelled of him, but it immediately made me feel calmer. It was nowhere near as good as having the real thing wrapped around you, but it would have to do for now.

Pulling the covers back on my bed I couldn't stop a pout forming on my lips; this wasn't the bed I wanted and I knew it. Normally I wouldn't have thought twice about going across the landing, letting myself into Joey's room and climbing into his bed. However I couldn't do that when I wasn't sure we were actually together could I? Alice had insisted that he still loved me, as had he himself in the hospital actually, but still...

I missed him though. And even though he had hurt me, I wanted to be close to him. So if sleeping in his bed without him was the closed I could get for now, then that's what I would have to do.

_You can't actually be serious?_

Apparently I was though, because my feet were already carrying me out of my room and across the hallway to Joey's. I pushed the door open, pausing for a moment as I took in the state of it. It seemed Alice's suspicions were indeed correct; judging from the fist-sized hole in the plaster on the wall by the door, he had indeed punched it.

_Oh, Joey._

On the one hand it proved he was just as upset as me, but was he upset for the same reasons?

Aside from the wall, the floor was a tip, the curtains were drawn even though it wasn't that late and was still light outside, and the bed...had a sleeping Joey in it.

I inhaled sharply, feeling a range of emotions as I stared at him. I thought in all my wallowing over the last few days I had fully comprehended just how much I missed him, but seeing him now it became apart that I had barely scratched the surface.

I let the door close quietly behind me, not that letting it slam would've woken him up; I swear the boy could sleep through an apocalypse. Tiptoeing over to the bed, navigating all the stuff on the floor as I did so, I couldn't help but admire, inappropriate timing or not, how attractive he was.

He was sprawled out on his back, just like he usually was, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, covers pushed into a heap at the bottom of the bed. His handsome face was turned towards the door, one of his arms resting at his side, the other stretched across the bed. I tried to stop my heart from fluttering as I realised that it was stretched over to where I normally was.

Like I said, I tried.

Slowly, constantly wary of irritating my stitches, I crouched down at the side of the bed, my hand reaching out of its own accord and sweeping his short hair off his forehead. He shifted slightly beneath my touch, groaning softly from the back of his throat before settling back down.

He might have actually been asleep but he still looked just as tired as I did. His face was a lot paler than usual and there were dark circles under his eyes. If I was guessing, I would say it looked like he had been crying at some point. My heart jumped again, unable to hold back the hope that Alice had been right and that he did miss me and did need me as much as I did him.

_You're supposed to be being strong._

I wasn't feeling very strong at the moment though. In truth I felt as vulnerable as Joey looked, lying there asleep, his chest rising and falling rhythmically.

The hand that was lying at his side twitched and I noticed that his knuckles were all cut up and bruised. Evidently this was the hand he had punched the wall with. I straightened out his fingers gently, surveying the damage. He had definitely put some force behind the punch, that was for sure.

He pulled his hand from my grasp suddenly, his arm crossing over his waist. I glanced up, expecting him to be awake, looking down at me with shock or surprise or...God knows what. He wasn't though; he merely sniffed once, shifting his head on the pillow and stilling once more.

I exhaled quietly, unsure what to do now. I'm not going to lie, a large part of me wanted nothing more than to just climb into bed with him, curl up against his chest which seemed to look more appealing than ever, and finally succumb to the sleep that I knew would come once I was back in his arms.

I couldn't do it though. I might have taken the leap of faith by coming here, swallowing my pride to be the one to make the first move. But I had to maintain some sort of self-respect, didn't I? If he was to push me away when I felt this raw, I don't think I could recover from it.

_Stop being so dramatic._

Just as I was about to ease myself up, convincing myself I could go back to my room and sleep and that he need never know that this weird little stalking session ever happened, he stirred again, mumbling something I didn't catch as he did so.

I froze, thinking once again that I had woken him. But once again his eyes remained closed, a small frown creasing his forehead. I leaned closer and brushed his hair back again as gently as I could. The action diminished the frown but didn't settle him; his head shifting on the pillow.

"Lo," he mumbled.

I definitely caught it that time. My heart was in my mouth suddenly. He definitely wasn't awake, so he must have been dreaming about me. The realisation of this fuelled even more confusion for me.

"Lo," he repeated, clearer this time.

Maybe I was just getting caught up in the moment, or maybe it was the tiredness, or even the medication I was on, but before I had really thought through what I was doing, I lowered my lips to his, kissing him softly. I lingered longer than I needed to, enjoying the feeling of his lips being against mine after so long.

It was only as I was about to pull away that Joey reciprocated the kiss, his lips moving against mine slowly. He moaned softly and I felt one of his hands move up in order to cup the back of my head, holding my face against his.

For a few blissful seconds both of us, well, me at least, seemed to forget ourselves, forget everything that had happened over the last few days; simply losing ourselves in the kiss. However my conscience soon caught up with me, and as much as my heart protested, my head forced me to pull away from him, breaking our kiss reluctantly.

"I can't...I shouldn't have done that..." I whispered, my fingers going to my swollen lips as I stood up, choking up as I started to make my way towards the door.

_Why do you never know where to draw the line with this boy? _

"Lauren," Joey called from behind me, surprise clear in his voice. "Lauren!"

I didn't answer him though; I was too busy trying to rebuild the walls around my heart, and to stop the tears from falling; I had done more crying over the last few days than I ever wanted to do ever, ever again.

I almost made it to the door when Joey grabbed hold of my hand, pulling me round to face him. I looked up at him, meeting his wide eyes with my tear-filled ones, electricity crackling between us.

"Lo," he whispered, his hand squeezing mine, several emotions behind his eyes. "You're here."

I didn't say anything, not even a witty remark coming to mind. I should've been angry with him, I should've been taking this opportunity to say my piece, and yet all I could seem to focus on was the fact that I could still taste him on my lips. That and the fear that that one stolen kiss could have been our last.

Apparently sensing that I was on the verge of a breakdown, Joey said nothing else. Instead, he pulled me swiftly towards him, closing the gap between us as his arms closed around me, my head falling against his chest as I lost the battle against the tears. I wasn't even sure what I was crying for now; I was exactly where I had wanted to be and, better yet, he had instigated the hug. It was all just very overwhelming.

I felt Joey's lips against the crown of my head as I wound my arms around him, my fingers clutching at his shoulders. He tightened his hold on me, his hand splayed against my lower back as rocked me from side to side slightly. Trying to control the crying, I rested my forehead against his solid chest, shivering lightly even though his skin was, as always, ridiculously warm.

"Baby, are you alright?" he asked quietly, lifting my chin gently and coaxing me to look up at him.

"I don't know," I admitted, pulling my lip between my teeth briefly as I continued to stare at him. My hands loved from his shoulders to his waist. "Am I?"

"What do you mean?" He stroked his thumb over my cheek, looking somewhere between confused and guilty.

"Well, it depends on you really, doesn't it?" I told him, bitterness creeping into my tone. "It depends on whether you're still going to push me away. It depends on whether or not you actually do trust me. It depends on whether you actually do love m-"

I never got to the end of my sentence as he crushed his lips to mine once more, his hands either side of my face. Taken by surprise as I was, I couldn't stop myself from returning the kiss, giving back as good as I was getting. I wrapped my arms around his neck, sighing as one of his hands slid to the back of my own neck, his fingers tangled in my hair.

I was reminded, somewhere in the back of my mind, of the kiss we had shared after the very first time he had pushed me away and I had threatened to leave; not wanting to stay living with him if I couldn't be in a relationship with him. He had kissed me and told me he wanted me to stay, damn the consequences. I didn't know if I dared to hope that he would say something similar this time. I certainly hoped this kiss wasn't a really cruel way of saying goodbye.

"I _told_ you, Lauren," he said, pulling his lips from mine momentarily. "I told you I love you. More than I ever have, or ever will, love anyone. Please don't ever doubt that."

"You pushed me away though," I argued weakly, my eyes closing as he brushed his nose against mine before capturing my lips with his once more. "You wanted to spend time apart."

"I'm sorry," he murmured repeatedly between kisses, only pulling away as his fingers found the chain around my neck, his eyes heartbreakingly hopeful as he realised that I hadn't taken the necklace off. "You're still wearing it."

"I still love you," I remarked softly, my voice barely above a whisper. There was no point pretending that I didn't. Whatever happened next, I wasn't just going to magically stop loving him.

Joey didn't say anything for a long moment. My pulse raced as he reached up and, with a very meaningful look in his eyes, pushed my hair behind my ear. The last time he had tried to do this I had stopped him, ordering him not to do it if it didn't mean anything.

"Say something," I prompted, unable to stand the silence any longer. I needed to know where we stood and I needed to know now.

"I love you," he said, his voice rich with emotion. "I'm so glad you came back. I regretted telling you to go home straight away."

"Why didn't you call me then?" I asked. I slid my hands down from his shoulders, shamelessly reacquainting myself with his muscular arms until I reached his hands where I entwined our fingers.

"I thought you would be mad at me," he replied.

"Well you weren't wrong there," I quipped.

"Plus, I left the ball in your court," he continued, reaching up and stroking my cheek with his uninjured knuckles, keeping hold of my hand as he did so. "I couldn't then tell you to come straight back because I'd been an idiot."

"I wish you had done," I told him. "It would've saved a lot of time."

Joey smiled slightly before leading me backwards to his bed where he sat down on the edge, coaxing me down with him and pulling me onto his lap. I winced slightly as he caught my injured side with his hand. He apologised, lifting up my top and observing my injuries, his fingers brushing against my skin. The stitches were still under the dressing, so nothing at changed there, but the bruises had now turned to a nasty purple, yellowing round the edges as they healed.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there, baby," he breathed, bringing his eyes back to mine as he let the material of my top fall back down.

"You were upset," I said understandingly.

"I thought I'd lost you," he said sadly. "And all because of some pathetic grudge held by that _cretin _and his piece of shit son."

"I know. But, Joey, if you ever do anything like that again, if you ever push me away for something that _wasn't your fault_, I don't know if I'll be able to get over it," I warned him. We couldn't do _this_ every time he got upset or felt guilty about something.

"I don't think I'd ever be able to, Lo," he confessed, pulling my closer to him. "These last three days have been like torture."

"Why didn't you just _talk_ to me?" I questioned, breaking the silence that had fallen between us. Joey reached for my hand, threading our fingers together once more. I stared at out joined hands, hating that I was asking this question but needing to ask it all the same. "Do you not trust me, is that?"

"No, don't ever think that, baby," he said, his thumb brushing over mine and sending tingles up my arm. "It's me I don't trust."

I laughed under my breath, looking up at him sadly.

"That's what Alice said," I told him, thinking back to the uncomfortable conversation I had had with her a few hours ago.

"Alice?" Joey looked confused suddenly. Clearly she had kept her excursion to Walford a secret from her brother.

"She came to see me before," I explained, telling him how she had filled me in on what had happened in terms of their argument. "She feels awful Joey. Surely you know she didn't mean what she said. I mean, I know it was the _stupidest_ and most mindblowingly inconsiderate thing to say, but surely, _surely_, you know she just said it because she was upset?"

Joey didn't respond, his eyes full of anguish as he held my gaze. I reached up with my free hand and swiped my thumb under his eyes.

"You're not like him, Joe," I whispered. "You can't keep doing this. I'd tell you every single day if it would make you believe it, but you've got to believe it yourself first, or at least make an effort to."

"I don't know how to," he admitted, and I don't think I had ever seen anyone look as lost as he did in that moment. "And if my own sister think-"

"She was _angry_, Joey," I interrupted. "You had just told her something that shattered her image of a man she idolised. You were both in the wrong, truth be told. I'm not saying that she had a right to say what she did, and I can't tell you how furious I am with her, but to be fair to her, you shouldn't have told her about Derek the way you did."

"I know," he sighed, nodding slightly, his forehead falling onto mine. "I snapped. Just like he used to..."

"Are you really going to make me spell it out for you?" I demanded. I altered our positions slightly so that I could see him better. "Just because you got angry, just because you lost your temper with Alice and told her the thing you were trying to protect her from, just because broke Jake's collar bone whilst you were trying to protect me, it _doesn't_ make you like Derek."

Joey sighed, nodding softly. He didn't look fully convinced but it was the best I was likely to get for now.

"I wish you had come to me, Joe, rather than pushing me away." I placed a finger to his lips as he went to interrupt me; I needed to get this off my chest. "I know you did it because you were upset and because you wanted me to _be sure of what I wanted_. And I know you thought you were giving me a choice, but really you took the choice away. You made it for me, and that wasn't fair."

"I'm sorry," he repeated but I shook my head at him to indicate that I wasn't finished yet.

"I know that in a really odd way, your heart was in the right place," I explained, "but just so you know, if I wanted to break up with you, if I decided that, for some reason, this," I motioned between us, "wasn't what I wanted, I would do it off my own accord, yeah?"

Joey nodded again, a disarming mixture of sadness, pride and love in his eyes. I leaned in and kissed his cheek, snuggling closer to him, the exhaustion I had pushed to the back of my brain becoming harder to ignore.

"You need to talk to your mum and Alice, Joey," I told him, trying not to sound too stern but wanting him to know that this wasn't an optional thing. I was determined that this whole Derek situation would be laid to rest once and for all; they had all been hurt enough by it. "Promise me."

"Promise, babe," he vowed, his hands sneaking under my top and running up and down my back. "Not right now though; I only just got you back."

"Tomorrow," I insisted, raising my eyebrow at him. "It's the only way you're all going to move on. So, you're going to do it. And don't still be angry with Alice; if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have come here tonight. I'm not saying I wouldn't have ever come back, but it wouldn't have been tonight. So you're going to stop ignoring her, okay? I'm serious."

"I don't doubt it," he mumbled, his lips pressing a kiss underneath my jaw, smiling against my skin as I shuddered softly.

"I'm still upset with you," I told him, threading my fingers through the short hair at the back of his neck. It would take a few more days perhaps, several more conversations, and a good night's sleep before I felt ready to forgive him properly.

"I don't blame you," he replied, his hands still moving comfortingly against my back. "I'm upset with me too."

"Fortunately, I love you more than I'm annoyed with you, though." I smiled wryly at him as his infamous dimples appeared on his face.

"I don't deserve you," he mumbled, self-doubt creeping back into his gaze.

"Oh, don't start this again," I groaned, cupping his face gently. "I love you, okay? So just stop; we've both wallowed enough now. And also, no more punching any walls."

I kissed him softly but intensely, not allowing him to say anything else, before resting my forehead against his for a moment, just enjoying being in his company again after all the drama and the tears.

"You look tired, baby," he observed as he pulled back, cupping my face and smiling softly as I leaned into his palm. I nodded. I could have stroked his ego and told him about my inability to sleep without him there anymore, but I thought I would save that for a later date.

"C'mon," I said after a minute, scrambling up off his lap rather ungracefully and taking his hands. He let me pull him up, looking at me with a question in his eyes. "As much fun as this heart to heart has been, I desperately just want to sleep," I admitted, yawning conveniently as I did so.

I managed to coax him back into bed, just as he was when I got here, except that this time I was in it with him.

"Are you sure you're not uncomfortable like this?" he asked me for the third time as I snuggled against him, enjoying the feel of his arms around me, his shoulders caged over mine as he lay behind me, not an inch of space between us.

"Joey, I'm fine, babe," I garbled, already half-asleep. I pulled his arm closer around my waist to prove it to him, showing him that he wasn't aggravating my injuries. I felt his lips at the back of my neck and shivered lightly.

"I'm glad I've got you back, Lo," he murmured, pressing a kiss just behind my ear.

"Can't get rid of me that easily, Joe," I joked, relieved that unlike the last time I tried to make a joke at the hospital, he laughed with me this time.

We were both quiet for a long time, and I had assumed that he, like me, was almost asleep, when he suddenly spoke again, his voice slurred with fatigue.

"I know we've got a long way to go, but promise me you know that I love you?" he said.

"I know," I whispered, pushing my fingers through his where they lay at my stomach.

I just about managed to mumble an 'I love you' back at him before my brain finally succumbed to the need for sleep, knowing for the first time in days, or maybe even since this whole Jake thing started, that the only way was up from here.

**A/N:**

**Can I come out of hiding now? Are you glad they're back together? Is that a stupid question? **

**Thank you for all of your reviews for the last chapter - I loved reading each and every one of them. I'll reply to the signed ones in a minute, as to the Guest reviews, THANK YOU SO MUCH. **

**See you next time for the last chapter! (don't worry, there will be an epilogue too!) x**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N:****Okay, here we go, the last chapter! I am SO sorry for the long wait - hope it's worth it!**

Chapter 35

The next morning, after waking up from what was possibly the best sleep both of us had had in a long time, and despite my reluctance to ever leave the safety of Joey's arms ever again, I knew there were loose ends that needed tying up. And as much as I wanted it to just be the two of us for the day, I was going to make sure Joey made good on his promise from the night before; we could never move on with our own issues if his deep-rooted issues with his mum never got resolved and kept getting in the way.

I managed to round up Alice and their mum, and, leaving no room for arguments, told them that today was the day they were finally going to get everything out in the open, difficult or not. Alice, who it turned out had already gone to her mum's house, was thankfully very easy to get on board. Karen and Joey however, although they both agreed, were slightly more reluctant; a lifetime habit of simply brushing everything under the rug difficult to overcome in one day, or in a phone call in Karen's case.

As well as convincing Joey that biting the bullet on the Derek issue was the right thing to do, it also took a _lot _of convincing that I was perfectly well enough to be left alone for a few hours. Joey's irrational guilt over not being there for me over the last few days had gone into overdrive when we had woken up and he was using his willingness to make up for it as a get-out for talking to his mum.

In all fairness, it probably would have been easier had I not had a bit of a breakdown when it came to changing the dressing on my stitches. Just as had been the case over the last few days, the pain had always been worse in the morning before I took my tablets, so on top of being very much anti-morning, I was also feeling sorry for myself. I had assured him I would feel better after a shower; by then the tablets would have kicked in. However, when it came to changing the dressing, I got myself into a bit of a muddle and ended up having a bit of a cry, perched on the side of the bath in nothing but my bra and knickers, until Joey came to see what was taking so long.

"Oh, baby," he sighed as his eyes scanned from the tears streaming down my face, to the increasingly colourful bruises on my side, to the tangled roll of gauze and tape which had been thrown down onto the floor in frustration.

"I can't do it," I whimpered, wiping at my face, embarrassment slowly but surely taking over as the predominant emotion. I had assured Mum I had listened to the doctor when she explained had how to do this, but the truth was, well...I hadn't.

"C'mere, I'll do it." Joey reached down for my hands and coaxed me up off the bath, kissing my forehead gently as he did so. I leaned into him, feeling a bit fragile, shuddering as I placed my cold hands against his warm chest.

He retrieved the stuff for the dressing from the floor and lined it up along the edge of the sink. Then, placing both his hands either side of my hips, he reversed our positions so that _he_ was now sat on the edge of the bath and I was stood in front of him, putting my stitches more or less in his eye line.

Whilst he worked on my dressing, I rested my hands against his bare shoulders to steady myself, sniffing every now and then as I reeled in my emotions. I probably should have been watching what he was doing, but I was too distracted by the how, frankly, disgracefully sexy he looked in his jogging bottoms and nothing else. Plus, every time he moved, the muscles of his shoulders rippled beneath my fingers; it was very hard to concentrate on anything else.

_You're so easily distracted by his body still, it's ridiculous._

"How come you're so good at this?" I asked him after a minute, smiling a little at the look of concentration on his face. I didn't understand how he was managing to make this whole process much less painful than when I did it. I mean, fair enough, maybe I was a _little_ bit mesmerised by his body this time, but the actual putting-on-of-the-dressing wasn't anywhere near as uncomfortable.

"Boxing," he replied simply. "Doing first aid comes with the territory. Plus, I like looking after you."

I laughed softly at this, melting more than a little bit inside. He finished taping down the gauze and leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss over the top of it, his long fingers splayed over my stomach. I moved my hands up from his shoulders and ran my fingers through his hair, gasping when he looked up at me with tears in his eyes.

"Joe?" I whispered, completely confused as to what I had missed. He had promised me he would stop with the constantly blaming himself for the accident, so I didn't understand what had got to him now.

He shook his head for a second, his forehead dropping to my stomach and his hands on my hips once more. I continued to run my fingers through his hair, trying to offer him some form of comfort. For some reason, the sight of seeing Joey, my ever-strong, brave, masculine Joey, with tears in his eyes brought out this terrifying protective side of me.

"Joe, baby, what's wrong?" I asked again after about a minute of silence, broken only by an occasional sniff and a handful of sporadic kisses to my skin.

"It wasn't just because of boxing," he mumbled, looking up at me at last, his eyes full of emotion.

"What do you mean?" Although, with a sinking heart, I had a feeling I knew exactly where this was going. Joey only got upset about very, _very_ particular things.

"Mum," he replied quietly, standing up and taking my hands in his, dropping his forehead onto mine gently. "Every time he hurt her, when _they_ hurt her, I used to help her..."

"Oh..."I didn't know what to say to be honest.

The image of a seven year old Joey having to carry that kind of weight on his shoulders did things to me that I didn't understand. I wanted to protect him from it and find someone to blame just so that I could shout at them, even if it wouldn't help one little bit. More than anything I wanted to make him forget it, but forgetting it wouldn't take away the scars; hence why he_ needed_ to have this talk with his mum.

"At least she had you, Joe," I told him, pulling back slightly so that I could look at him properly. "I know I've only met her once, but it was clear how much you mean to her."

Joey's eyes were intense as he stared at me, his thumbs brushing over the side of my hands. I couldn't read his emotions due to the sheer amount of them flitting across his face. I knew, like me, he struggled to admit and accept when he felt vulnerable, the last few days being a prime example for us both.

"She shouldn't have needed me though," he said, letting go of my hands and moving past me towards the bathroom door. "She should have gone to the police and then they would've both ended up where they belong a long time ago and all of this," he indicated my stitches, "might never have happened."

"You don't know that," I interrupted. I reached for his hand and forced him to turn back to me. He exhaled heavily, eventually lifting his eyes to mine looking guilty and uncomfortable.

"I can't do this today, Lo," he admitted. "I can't go and see her. It's not the right time and I just can't, I'm sorry."

For the second time, he turned to leave the room, but I stopped him again, placing my hand against his chest and pushing slightly as he tried to move.

"There's never going to be a right time, Joey." His heartbeat was strong against my palm, his eyes full of sadness and I almost caved and told him to stay; the imaginary seven year old Joey wreaking havoc with my emotions. "It was never going to be easy. I think we've established that much already."

Joey held my gaze, reaching up and cupping my cheek with his hand.

"I know I promised you, babe, and I'll keep that promise," he vowed, sincerity in his eyes. "But not today."

"Why not today?" I questioned, moving properly into his personal space and looking up at him. "I know the last few days have been a rollercoaster, but maybe this is the best time to do it. Get it out of the way and then you can _finally_ move on from this."

His hands found my waist and I could tell from the look on his face that I was finally starting to get through to him.

"I love you, Joey," I told him, winding my arms around his shoulders and pecking his lips once. "But like I told you yesterday, if every time something goes wrong, which it will, because that's normal and conventional even if _we're_ not, we can't keep running down that same dead end of you feeling guilty and convincing yourself that you're, or _we're_, going to end up like the people we really don't want to turn into. Because that's just never going to work."

I pressed myself forwards into his solid body, my necklace getting trapped between us. I had to fight back a smile as he moaned softly, his hands sliding to the small of my back. Perhaps I was a little shamelessly using my breasts to get what I wanted, but, hey-ho; sometimes it's necessary. And as if you wouldn't too.

"And I don't know about you, Joe," I continued, softening my tone, my lips barely a couple of inches from his, gently dragging my fingers through the short hair at the back of his neck. "But I really kind of want this to work."

I smiled coyly at him now, biting my lip just because I knew it would work in my favour. And I need my favour to be the winner in this case. I needed to have _my_ Joey back, with no worrying about people finding out about us, no secrets, no Jake or Sean or Derek-induced-guilt breathing down our necks.

I wanted crashing into each other at the bottom of the stairs, I wanted hot chocolate, I wanted laughing at bad TV, I wanted days out just being in each other's company, I wanted kisses that made my knees weak, I wanted hugs that made me feel like nothing could ever go wrong ever again, I wanted sex that made me feel like before I found Joey I hadn't known what it felt like to actually be _loved_.

I just wanted it to be me and Joey.

It didn't have to be drama-free. But I wanted the drama there would undoubtedly be to be _our_ drama, and not drama caused by other people, past or present.

"So, what do you say?" I prompted, attempting to stifle a shiver as his fingers ran slowly up the ridges of my spine. "Will you go?"

Joey half-groaned, half-growled, his lips finally meeting mine as he kissed me intensely, almost to the point that, when he finally pulled away and mumbled an agreement to me, it took me a fair few seconds to remember what it was we had been discussing.

"Really?" I said, catching my breath desperately and smiling as he nodded, a small smirk on his face. "Good."

"Later though," he murmured, moving forwards until my back was against the bathroom door, his frame towering over mine. "First though, we were both exhausted last night, but I think it's time I show you how much I missed you now."

My breath hitched, temptation coursing through my veins. God knew I had missed him and would love nothing more than to return to bed, or even just stay in here, with him right now and rediscover each other. But some sorely under-used but firm all the same voice in the back of my head told me, with reason, that if we started _that_, all other plans would go straight out of the window. I knew Joey's game, and his stamina, and if I caved now I had no doubt that it wouldn't take him long to somehow manage to convince me that talking to his mum could wait till tomorrow, and then the day after that, and then the day after that, and so on and so forth. And I wasn't having that.

"Mmm, that sounds nice," I told him, gasping as his lips paid some special attention to the sweet spot on my neck, sucking my skin into his mouth with enough force that I had small hunch I was going to be left with a mark. I had an even bigger hunch that this was part of his plan; the territorial cave man in him never far from the surface. I wasn't complaining either way.

"I've missed you so much, baby," he whispered, his eyes meeting mine once more, passion burning in them. He had certainly done his classic, one-eighty degree turn from earlier on, emotions-wise.

"Back at you, babe," I replied, my fingers joining at the back of his neck as I looked at him, trying to prep myself for being strong against his powers of persuasion. "And seeing as we've lasted this long, I think we can last just a _bit_ longer."

"Ugh, are you serious, babe?"

I couldn't help but laugh, a confusing mix of amusement and attraction washing over me as he pouted, actually _pouted_, at me. For future reference, this boy should _not_ be allowed to ever pull such an expression. I didn't know whether to weep from the heartbreak or jump him then and there.

"I am deadly serious," I assured him gravely, sliding my hands down his chest, continuing down over the ripped muscles of his stomach until I reached the waistband of his jogging bottoms where I curled my fingers over the top of them. "That way, no matter how bad it is, you'll have something to...look forward to, shall we say?"

Joey's fingers closed over mine, pulling my hand away from his waist. He looked somewhere between amused, frustrated and, not to sound bigheaded, but slightly awestruck.

"Are you bribing me with sex?" He grinned as he spoke, his dimples making a much welcome return. I mirrored his expression, casting my mind back to when I myself had asked him the very same question before he had convinced me to speak to _my_ mum.

"Maybe," I giggled. "Is it working?"

Without saying anything, Joey moved in even closer to me, pressing his crotch against mine firmly and _oh_... Apparently my question had been a stupid one, because, yes, my bribing was apparently working _very_ well.

"I'll take that as a yes then," I choked, failing to hold back a groan as he ground against me, creating the friction I hadn't realised I had been currently craving as much as I had.

Clearly wanting to make the most of the slip of my armour, Joey's lips descended to mine again, effectively distracting me even further from my stubborn vigil. The fact that the last time we had had sex had been the morning after my birthday suddenly seemed like vital information. It was barely a week ago, but to me and Joey, that was a long time.

His tongue invaded my mouth as his hand went to the back of my neck, tipping my head back so that it was resting against the door. I moaned, clawing closer to him, unable to stop myself from rocking against him slightly, looking for some kind of relief. Sensing what I was doing, Joey reached down and lifted me effortlessly into his arms, my legs going round his waist automatically as our kiss became more of a battle.

Only pulling away for an inevitable intake of oxygen, Joey's lips left mine and kissed a trail under my jaw, sending shivers down my spine.

_You're supposed to stopping him not...shivering._

"Joe," I croaked, my hands in his hair as I tried to coax his face back up to mine. "Joe."

"Not still trying to bribe me are you?" he asked, his eyes dark as he looked at me, his arms tightening their grip on me.

"M'afraid so," I whispered, ignoring the part of me that was screaming repeated choruses of 'what the hell are you doing?' at me.

"You're gonna kill me, babe," Joey groaned, gently allowing me to slide back to the floor so that I was standing once again, both of us breathing heavily.

"I want you all to myself," I told him truthfully. "And I don't want to feel guilty that I'm stopping you from doing something that is very important, even if you don't think it is," I added as he rolled his eyes.

"I'll take your mind off it, baby, don't worry," he told me, meaning every word.

"I don't doubt that you would," I laughed, my hands coming to rest at his biceps. "But I would remember after and I don't want to be that way."

"You're not going to drop this are you?" he sighed, smiling wryly. The tables had certainly turned from when our positions were reversed.

"Nope," I replied, grinning at him. "So you may as well give in now because the quicker you go to your mum's, the quicker you can come back here and we can continue where we left off."

"If I survive that long, yeah," he muttered, shaking his head at me slightly.

I leaned up on my tiptoes, ignoring the ache as the movement stretched my stitches, and kissed his cheek softly.

"It'll be worth it, Joe," I told him, entwining his fingers with mine.

"Which part?" he asked, sniggering cheekily.

"Both," I whispered, winking at him before finally luring him out of the bathroom and forcing him to get dressed and get going, all the while suffering as I tried to continue to convince myself that this was the right thing to do when he looked practically edible getting changed in front of me.

_Well, at least __you're__ your own worst enemy now, eh?_

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/

Whilst Joey was out, I slowly worked my way around the house, tidying up and hoping that some progress was being made in the right direction between Joey, Alice and Karen. Even if it was just to say that they although may never understand each other's reasoning, they can all forgive each other, that would be more than enough for now.

I was only disturbed from my Spring Clean on the house once by a phone call from Mum who was eager to know how things had gone between me and Joey and was also annoyed because I had ignored all of the calls last night. I guiltily explained that I hadn't really ignored her; we were just a bit distracted and I left my phone in my room.

"I don't need to know details, Lauren," Mum sighed, although there was a smile behind her voice.

"_Talking_," I stressed, rolling my eyes. "I didn't go all that way just to have sex with him and then go and sit in another room continuing to be angry with him." I managed to stop myself adding on that I wasn't like her and Dad, but I realised it wasn't worth it.

" I said I _didn't_ need details," Mum laughed.

"Then why ask?" I demanded, groaning slightly as I sat down on the arm of the sofa.

I looked over to the clock on the mantelpiece, realising that I should have taken my last tablet over an hour ago. It's a good job I'm more organised with taking my pill, otherwise that inevitable drama I had been thinking about before might have come in the form of a child. And as cute as I kept imagining a miniature Joey would be, and as eager as Joey had seemed when we had briefly discussed the matter, that was definitely still a drama I _definitely_ wasn't ready for yet. Plus, Dad would have an aneurism.

"How're the stitches?" Mum asked, evidently having heard my discomfort.

"Not too bad. Still painful in the morning but definitely not as bad as they were when I first got back from the hospital," I told her, missing out the part where I had a meltdown over the dressing. I think we'll keep that between me and Joey.

"Good," Mum said. "And things with Joey..?"

"We're back together, not that we really broke up," I added. We did break up, but we also didn't. It was all very confusing to put into words. "He was blaming himself for what happened and, y'know, the whole Derek thing got dragged up again. I've sent him off to talk to his mum with Alice."

"He's left you there on your own?!" Mum cried.

"Oh my god," I groaned, kicking myself for revealing that information. "I _made_ him go, Mum, literally. He was in the same mind as you, but as I am not a child, nor am I an invalid, I figured I would be perfectly fine for a couple of hours. Which I have been. So if you're going to have a go I will just put the phone down."

Mum sighed, heeding my warning; knowing that I would indeed put the phone down on her. It wouldn't have been the first time.

"Okay, okay," she said. "Well, in any case, I think it's a good idea that they're talking."

I had told Mum the nut-shell version of everything that had happened between Karen and Derek and Sean, swearing her to secrecy, knowing that Joey and Alice wouldn't want the information paraded round.

"I hope so," I agreed. If they came back worse than before, I didn't know what I would do.

"Look, I'm going to have to go, darling; I left Poppy weighed down at the salon," she explained in a rush. "But, listen, Jack has been keeping up to date on what's happening with Jake. They're keeping him in which is good and he doesn't think they'll need any more statements from you, which is even better."

I breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn't really been thinking about what would happen to Jake much, but evidently it had been bothering me somewhere in the back of my mind as I felt a huge weight lift off me as she spoke.

"That's good," I mused, twirling the chain of my necklace between my fingers and wishing Joey would get back soon. "Tell Uncle Jack thanks."

"Will do, honey," Mum said. "I'll call you tomorrow okay?"

"Sure," I replied, just about managing to tell her goodbye before she hung up, clearly keen to go and rescue Poppy from the salon.

I threw my phone down onto the sofa before gingerly getting up and making my way upstairs and into Joey's room where I had left the tablets. As I swallowed one I heard the door go downstairs, apprehension and excitement taking over, distracting me from the pain which had been bothering me only seconds before.

I listened as Joey made his way upstairs, smiling at him tentatively as he opened the door to his room and saw me sat on the bed, his eyes unreadable. He didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to him; I just got up off the bed, walked over to him and held my arms open.

He fell into them eagerly, his head falling to my shoulder, his arms winding round me tightly. I remained silent for a few minutes, simply running my hands up and down his back and nuzzling into him every now and then. I couldn't hold off the intrigue for long though; needing to know if I had just caused more trouble than I had fixed.

"How did it go?"

"It was...difficult," he admitted, pulling back to look at me. I took a little hope from the fact that he definitely didn't look as haunted as he had done this morning. "There's still a lot we need to talk about, but at least we are talking, thanks to you."

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my nose, smiling slightly. I felt my lungs expand with relief.

"How's Alice?" I asked, knowing that part of Joey's worry had been what the whole thing would to his baby sister.

"She's staying with Mum for a few more days, but she's okay," he said, sighing slightly, his forehead pressing against mine, both of us closing our eyes against the sensation.

"Are you glad you went though?" I asked, unsure if I actually wanted to know the answer.

"Yeah, actually," he said, "It did need to get out in the open, I guess. It's a start, ain't it?"

"I'm proud of you, Joe," I told him before I reached up and cupped his face, capturing his lips softly with mine. His arms tightened around me as he reciprocated the kiss, the tension from earlier fast returning as his hand crept under my top.

"Please say I can have you now?" he asked as he ripped his lips from mine, looking down at me with dark, smouldering eyes.

"You can have me forever if you want," I replied, not even caring how cheesy I had just sounded. Besides, I accompanied it with a saucy raised eyebrow, which clearly makes it okay.

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that._

Joey smirked, flicking the necklace with his finger.

"I plan to, baby," he murmured, clearly accepting my challenge.

Without any further encouragement needed, Joey led me back to the bed where we both quickly became a mess of limbs as we rid each other of the clothes that were in our way. Once the last of it was gone, Joey braced himself above me, holding his weight on his forearms either side of my head, his lips devouring mine.

For what must have been the third or fourth time in the past twenty-four hours, I realised just how much I had missed being close to him. I wound my arms around his neck, my fingers digging into his shoulder blades as I ground my hips against his, urging him to move, all thoughts of dragging this out and savouring the moment having long gone out of the window.

"Joe," I moaned, shuddering as one of his hands brushed down my side, cupping my breast before continuing down my stomach, gently passing over the bruises, until he reached my centre, his thumb stroking over my clit and earning a gasp from me.

"I need you," Joey murmured, his lips meeting mine again as he slowly pushed one finger into me, needlessly testing how ready I was for him.

"Stop teasing me then," I whispered, groaning as he found that special spot inside me, pressing lightly and causing sensations that made my eyes roll back into my head, my hips bucking towards his without my permission.

"So beautiful," he breathed. I opened my eyes and looked up at him to find him watching me intently.

I pulled his face back down to mine, kissing him fiercely, whimpering as he stopped his ministrations, removing his finger in order to line himself up with my entrance. My stomach clenched with anticipation as he started to slowly push himself into me, still watching my reactions.

He exhaled loudly, growling ever so slightly as I moved slightly causing him to move faster than he had been and sheathing himself fully inside me. I moaned again, his name tumbling from my lips as I adjusted to him, urging him to move.

Whether it was because of everything we had been through over the last few days, or simply because we hadn't actually done _this_ for the last few days, but every sensation seemed stronger, every touch and every thrust sending me closer to the edge faster than it would normally have done. I would have been embarrassed if I hadn't sensed that Joey felt the same, feeling him swell inside me, his breathing laboured.

Our rhythm increased in pace, the angle of Joey's thrusts changing slightly and pushing me ever closer to my climax. I didn't want it to end though because, oh, I had definitely missed this. Missed Joey.

Joey's fingers found mine above my head as his eyes met mine, both of us close now. I felt him reach down and between us once more, pressing firmly against my clit and smothering my groans with a deep kiss as I unravelled beneath him, his orgasm following mine as he pulsed inside of me.

"Lo," he breathed, his head falling to the crook of my neck as he relaxed against me, his weight pressing me into the mattress. I had missed this too.

We lay for a while, revelling in being together again, my fingers brushing through his hair once more as his lips pressed kisses to my neck every now and then.

"Am I hurting you like this?" Joey asked suddenly, moving sideways and rolling me with him, his fingers brushing over the dressing.

"No, babe," I said, smiling at the concern in his eyes. "I would've told you."

"Sure?" he asked, reaching over and tucking my hair behind my ear, making me smile softly.

I nodded, holding his hand against my face.

"I've missed you," I told him, moving my face sideways and kissing his palm.

"Missed you too, babe," he replied. "Love you."

"Love you," I repeated, my eyes closing as he stroked my face softly.

"You want to get some food?" he asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"In a bit," I mumbled, snuggling into him. "I just want to stay here for a bit."

"Okay," Joey said quietly, his lips pressing a kiss to the top of my head softly.

"Wouldn't mind a hot chocolate though..." I smiled against his skin as he laughed, his chest vibrating beneath my skin.

"Yeah, actually, speaking of which," he began, smirking at me as I leaned up on my elbows so that I could see him properly. "I believe you still owe me a hot chocolate from that very first night you got here and didn't make me one."

"Aw, I'm sorry, baby," I cooed jokily, laughing as he pouted at me again, looking genuinely forlorn. "How rude of me. Maybe I was just a bit...distracted by the muscular stranger who I crashed into at the bottom of the stairs."

I smiled wistfully at the memory, remembering how in those few prolonged seconds when he had grabbed me to steady me, that strange current pulsing through us, he had made me _feel_ more than I had in a long time, after the drinking and the drama and the heartbreak.

"You weren't the only distracted one, babe, I assure you," he told me, his hands running up and down my back. "I thought I was hallucinating or something."

"Well that's better than mine," I mumbled, blushing furiously as I revealed that I had thought, in my moment of madness, that he was a burglar.

We both laughed at this until I sat up, pulling him up with me.

"C'mon then," I urged, feeling my cheeks heat yet again as his eyes scanned over my body appreciatively as I slung one of his white shirts over my shoulders, fastening one of the buttons. "Your hot chocolate awaits."

"Can't you just bring it to me, babe?" he asked, stretching his arms over his head tiredly.

"No, I can't, you lazy sod" I quipped, whacking him with his boxer as I threw them at him. He definitely wasn't a lazy sod though, his muscles made that perfectly clear. I wondered for the billionth time if I would ever stop being completely mesmerised by his body. "What if I meet another dark, handsome stranger at the bottom of the stairs and we fall madly in love? What will you do then, eh?"

"Never gonna happen, babe" Joey said confidently as he covered up his not-so-modest modesty before coming up behind me and sweeping my into his arms so quickly it took my breath away a bit. "You know why?"

"Because you're the only dark, handsome stranger for me?" I asked, laughing as he started to walk us out of his room and down the stairs.

"Correct," he said as he lowered me to the floor. "And also because when I first saw you right here, whether I knew it or not, I fell in love with you, Lo. And I know that you did the same. Why else would you have forgiven me for being such an idiot sometimes?"

My heart picked up speed as it always did when Joey's romantic side came out to play. Plus, he was absolutely right, I _had_ fallen for him right here. It had taken a long time to get to where we were, to realise that we had fallen for each other, but we had done.

The funny thing was, I had come here under the pretext of not falling anymore. Not for boys, not for alcohol, not at the first hurdle of the slightest hint of drama. I think it was safe to say I had come a long way since then.

In essence, my mantra was still the same to a certain extent, certainly in terms of alcohol and drama, that was for sure. No more falling to be done there hopefully, not from great heights anyway.

No more falling in general, unless of course it was to fall, if possible, even further in love with Joey Branning. Because falling into his arms at the bottom of those stairs just over a year ago, and falling in love as I did so, was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

And as long as any falling I did in the future had Joey waiting to catch me, I could safely say that for the first time ever, I was going to be okay. We both were.

**A/N:**

*** peeks out from behind hands * **

**I was going to put 'The End' but as there will be an epilogue, I figured I'd put it then. And also, I don't really want to say goodbye to this story. There will also be some outtakes too, but in general terms, this is the end of 'Falling'. :'(**

**I hope very much that you enjoyed the chapter - I found it so hard to write. Hope it wasn't disappointing.**

**Thank you SO much for the amazing response to the last chapter. I will reply to the signed reviews later, but to the Guest reviewers, thank you so much for all of your thoughts and your support for this story. It means a lot. :)**

**See you next time for the epilogue. x**


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